Monthly Archives: July 2008

Star Trek: The Experience is closing

It was bound to happen sooner or later, and though I’ve known this was coming for a few months now, I was still really sad to read confirmation that Star Trek: The Experience is closing September first.

Offering a sad commentary on the state of the Star Trek franchise, the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas will shut down Star Trek : The Experience this fall.

Part simulator, part environment, part museum and (of course) part gift shop/restaurant, the Experience opened 10 years ago during the height of popularity for the Star Trek: The Next Generation movies.

But, the exhibit isn’t drawing the fans it once did — just as the franchise is fading off the public radar. While J.J. Abrams is hustling to save Star Trek on the big screen, it’s too late to save it in Vegas.

The Experience will always be special to me, because, as I wrote in the Geek in Review (excerpted from Dancing Barefoot):

The Transporter Chief says, “Welcome to the 24th century. You are aboard the starship Enterprise.”

She could have said to me, “Welcome to 1987, Wil. You are on Stage 9.”

She touches her communicator and says, “I have them, Commander.”

Jonathan Frakes’ voice booms over the comm, “Good work, Lieutenant. Please take them to the bridge.”

We leave the transporter room and walk down a long corridor which is identical to the ones I walked down every day. I realize as we walk that, in my mind, I’m filling in the rest of the sound stage. I’m surprised when we don’t end up in engineering at the end of the corridor. Instead, we are herded into a turbolift, where we enjoy some more special effects. The turbolift shakes and hums . . . it’s infinitely cooler than the real ones we would stand in for the show.

When the turbolift doors open, and reveal the bridge of the Enterprise, I gasp.

The bridge is a nearly-perfect replica of ours, with a few minor differences that are probably imperceptible to anyone who didn’t spend the better part of five years on it. The hum of the engines, which had only existed in my imagination on Stage 8, is now real. I stare at the view screen, where a beautiful starfield gives the appearance of motion. I remember how much I hated doing blue screen shots on the bridge and how much I loved it when they’d lower the starfield. When I looked at those thousands of tiny mirrors, glued onto a screen of black velvet, I could lose myself in the wonderful fantasy that this spaceship was as real as the view.

I am consumed by hypernostalgia.

I am 14-years-old, walking out of the turbolift during Encounter at Farpoint. Corey Allen, the director, excitedly tells me, “Picard controls the sky, man! He controls the sky!”

I am 15-years-old, sitting in my ugly grey spacesuit at the CONN. My fake muscle suit bunches up around my arms. I feel awkward and unsure, a child who desperately wants to be a man.

I am 16-years-old, working on an episode where I say little more than, “Aye, sir.” I want to be anywhere but here.

I am 17-years-old, wearing a security uniform for Yesterday’s Enterprise. I am excited to stand in a different place on the bridge, wear a different uniform, and push different imaginary buttons.

I hear the voices of our crew, recall the cool fog that hung around our trailers each morning from Autumn until Spring.

I recall walking to the Paramount commissary with the cast, on our way to have lunch meetings with Gene before he died.

I have an epiphany.

Until this moment, all I have been able to remember is the pain that came with Star Trek. I’d forgotten the joy.

It’s obviously an important place to me, though I don’t expect it be nearly as important to anyone else in the world. I’ve always said that it’s something every Star Trek fan should, uh, experience, at least once.

They say that the props and things from the museum will be returned to Paramount, where I hope they’ll be put on Star Trek: the Tour . . . though if past is prologue, Paramount will likely have them looked after by top men.

the pretty white ships that i’ve been dreaming of

I haven’t had a theatrical agent for years, so I don’t have as many auditions or opportunities to work as an actor as I once did. I have a fantastic manager, though, who always gets me into quality auditions, where I have a real shot at booking the job.[1]

My manager and I have an understanding that I’m primarily focused on writing at the moment, so he can put his time and energy into his other clients who are full-time actors, while keeping an eye out for parts like NUMB3RS, where I have a better than average shot to nail the audition.[2] This arrangement has worked out really well for both of us.

Last week, he got me an audition for a wonderful role on [awesome show redacted]. I had less than a day to prepare it but I did my best, and when I got into the room . . . I sucked. Oh, man how I sucked. I think the stink of my reading is still sitting in that building, a week after I left. In fact, if you see hazmat teams in Studio City, now you know why.

Luckily for us, the casting director was willing to give good, honest, useful feedback on my audition. The bottom line? He felt like I was really “acting” when I was in there. My performance wasn’t organic, it wasn’t honest, it wasn’t real. In other words, it wasn’t very good.

When my manager relayed this to me, it was like Billy Zabka swept my leg. Getting caught acting was one of my worst fears realized. Good actors don’t get caught acting, bad actors get caught acting. Ergo . . . well, I’d rather not say it out loud.

For the next couple of days, I spent a lot of time thinking about how that happened, and I had to face an uncomfortable reality: maybe I was so out of practice, and so focused on writing (instead of acting), maybe I just don’t have what it takes to be a successful on-camera actor anymore.

I had a real crisis on my hands, but before I could call my manager and discuss it yesterday, he called me with another audition.

“Okay,” I thought, “I’ll just go on this audition, and after the holiday weekend, I’ll see if we can have lunch, and face this reality together.”

I prepared the audition, keenly aware of all the things I’d done wrong with the [awesome show redacted] audition. I went through all the things I’ve written about acting and auditioning, and listened to a lot of my own advice and experience. I decided that I’d get in, do my thing, and get out.[3] I thought about a number of conversations I’ve recently had with a friend of mine who just booked a similar role on [very very very awesome show redacted], and applied some of his decision making to my own. I kept it simple, and I never thought, “Well, this is it. If this one doesn’t work, I’m hanging up my dance belt.”[4] Instead, I just prepared my take on this character, made some deliberate-but-risky choices, and went to work.

When I was in the room, I didn’t think about the people there, I didn’t think about what was at stake (directly or indirectly) and I just focused on the person I was reading with. I didn’t do anything fancy, just gave them my simple-but-deliberate take on this guy.

I felt better than I felt after I sucked out loud last week. I didn’t know if I nailed it, but I’d made my deliberate-but-risky choices, and I’d committed to them entirely. Whether I got the job or not, at least I had that to take home with me and keep in a box on the shelf for the weekend.

A few hours after I got home, my manager called me.

“Well, I have some feedback,” he said.

“That was fast,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess they wanted you to know right away that you’re hired.”

“Really?!” I said. I always say that, even though I know that my manager is never going to call me up, tell me a got a job, and then say, “Ha! PSYKE!”

“Yes, really.” He said.

So I squeed, and he outlined the deal for me. I get guest-starring billing at the beginning of the show on my own card, I work for eight days, and — best of all — I’ll earn enough to qualify for SAG’s “good” health insurance for at least another year.

I can’t say anything about the role, because I don’t have permission from the producers and the network, but I think I can safely reveal that it’s for Criminal Minds on CBS, and it’s a part that I am going to love bringing to life.

There is a lesson here about not giving up. There’s a lesson here about learning from your mistakes and applying that knowledge, instead of wallowing in self-pity. I’m not pointing that out because I think anyone else needs to hear it; I’m pointing it out because I’m going to forget it sooner or later, and I want to remember it the next time I go searching through my writing for advice from myself.

One more thing: when I had the audition last week, I did my best, even though my best was crap. When I did my audition yesterday, I did my best, and it was much better than what “my best” was just a week ago. Someone once said to me that we should always do our best, and understand and accept that “our best” will vary from time to time. I’m glad I remembered that.

And now, footnotes:

[1] That may not make sense. Let me explain: pretty much every agent I ever had would submit me on as many projects as possible, whether I was really right for the role or not. I guess the logic here is that you get more chances to score when you take more shots, which makes a certain amount of sense, but in practice is pretty frustrating for actors who keep getting sent out for roles that they have no chance of booking. (I realize that, to actors who are struggling for any auditions, this seems like a wonderful problem to have, but it really isn’t.)

[2]Years ago, I took an extensive and comprehensive marketing class, where I learned a whole bunch of stuff about how to market myself as an actor, and how to find breakout roles that are supported by five or six things that define my personality — my essences, in the language of this course. My manager looks for roles that match up with my essences, while a larger team of agents may just look for parts that call for a white male, 30-36.

[3]This is one of the valuable things I learned while writing sketch comedy.

[4]What? You don’t wear a dance belt to every audition?

in which wil clarifies something for artists and designers

I’m speaking to professional artists and designers. If that’s not you, skip this and listen to Leif Garrett.

Okay. Earlier today, I said:

It’s years out of date, so I’ve been considering either closing or updating the WWdN Cafepress store. I can’t design for shit, though, and even if I could, I don’t have time to do it.

Rather than just close it down, I thought I’d pose a question here: I’m sure there are lots of good designers and creative people who read my blog, so if I had a contest to design things like shirts and stickers and stuff, would anyone be interested in participating?

The winner would get a signed Happiest Days hardback and credit + links to the winner’s website, blog, store, whatever.

Response is mostly positive, but some designers were offended by my suggestion to do this thing as a contest. After reading their comments, I totally understand why, especially after reading the links to No Spec that they shared with me. I didn’t think about it until after I read those comments, but I get the feeling that contest is a loaded term in the design community, and though I spoke to this in a comment on my earlier post, I want to be really clear about my thinking, so I’m posting much of that reply in this entry, so RSS readers who don’t read or post comments can see it (I’ve also edited and expanded upon it a bit):

I’d never write something for free, unless I was getting some other form of compensation. One of the main reasons I stopped doing live sketch comedy shows was the poor investment:return ratio on time and money. There was a time when it was totally worth it to me to get nothing more than the joy of a performance out of the whole thing, but over time, something in me changed. It wasn’t adequate compensation anymore, so I stopped doing it.

People ask me to contribute to various blogs all the time, just because it would be neat; I always decline, because I write here, and for other places that pay me for my time and energy. But if I got a chance to do something like be an unpaid boingboing editor for a week, I’d do that in a heartbeat, for obvious reasons. This is why I thought I’d offer publicity and a signed book as compensation.

I didn’t even consider that it would offend, but thinking about it now, I totally respect that some (most?) designers would feel disrespected or demeaned by my idea, and I totally support and understand those designers who choose not to submit designs to me. You absolutely deserve to get paid for your time and effort, and if what I’m offering as compensation isn’t worth it to you, I completely understand.

See, if I had the money to pay someone for the work, I’d do that, but since the store isn’t a real big part of my business model (selling books is) I don’t have any budget to spend on it. To be clear: if this sort of thing offends you, please accept my apology; it’s not my intention to diminish you or your profession.

Contest is the wrong term, I guess. Maybe if I said that I’d be willing to trade credit, links, promotion, and an autographed book, it would be less offensive?

I want to be really, really, pedantically clear here: I totally respect the training and experience that goes into being a successful artist and designer. It was never my intention to demean anyone’s work or experience, take advantage of anyone, or exploit anyone.

So, let’s try this again, in a different way: I’m considering revamping the WWdN store (the alternative being just closing it down) but I don’t have the time or skill to do anything worthwhile with it on my own. I can’t afford to pay hundreds of dollars or more to commission designs. So here’s my idea: if you’d like to submit something to me, kind of like what Jonathan Coulton did recently, I’ll trade you exposure and publicity, as well as an autographed hardback of The Happiest Days of Our Lives.

Comments are closed on this post, but can be left on my post from earlier today, where there’s already an interesting conversation happening.

the joys of weird audio

I have a folder of mp3 files that’s called ‘weird audio.’ Most of it is stuff I ganked from WMFU’s 365 Days Project, but there’s also a few gigs of bizarre and rare recordings I found during several late night trips down the vinyl sharity blog rabbit hole.

Mostly, I chop these things up to make RFB Mixtapes, but from time to time, I put the folder on shuffle play, and enjoy a truly weird experience, including music from Telly Savalas, interviews with Burt Reynolds, strange commercials and PSAs, and tons and tons of 1950s and 1960s Hi-Fi muzak.

Today, I shuffled the folder for background music while I prepared an audition, and stopped for a five surreal minutes while I listened to this recording of Leif Garrett welcoming you, lucky 1970s teenage girl, into his fanclub.

I’m not sure what I like more: how obviously Leif Garrett is phoning it in (it sounds like he didn’t even bother to read the ‘personal welcome’ someone wrote for him before recording it) or how clearly you can hear him flipping the pages while he reads it.

I wonder if the poor hapless soul who wrote this thing ever listened to it, and cried out, "My words! My beautiful words! He ruined them!"

in which wil asks the readers a question

It’s years out of date, so I’ve been considering either closing or updating the WWdN Cafepress store. I can’t design for shit, though, and even if I could, I don’t have time to do it.

Rather than just close it down, I thought I’d pose a question here: I’m sure there are lots of good designers and creative people who read my blog, so if I had a contest to design things like shirts and stickers and stuff, would anyone be interested in participating?

The winner would get a signed Happiest Days hardback and credit + links to the winner’s website, blog, store, whatever.

I would probably use the “Hey, that’s awesome!” method of choosing a winner, which may lead to two or even three designs making it into the store. All winning designs would get the same book + credit + link prize, of course.

I’d have to find some contest rules to use somewhere, but it would probably be one of those things where you hold onto the rights to your submission, and I get a royalty-free license to use it commercially until the sun burns out, etc., so it’s kind of like work for hire, I guess.

I don’t know if this is the best idea in the world, so let me know what you think in the comments, mmmkay?