great moments in instant messaging

Any geek can tell you what superpower they’d want to have. We rarely have to think about it, because most of us gave the question a lot of time and careful consideration when we weren’t talking to girls during our youth.

Earlier tonight, the subject came up in an IM conversation with my friend Ryan.

Wil: So what superpower would you want?

Ryan: I think I’d like the ability to shapeshift

Ryan: Or intagibility

Ryan: Or spelling

Wil: OMG that’s going on my blog right now.

Happy weekend, everyone.

49 thoughts on “great moments in instant messaging”

  2. That’s no joke. Spelling is a super power. When I actually write on paper I get frustrated at its inability to place a red line under the words I misspell.
    Misspell sounds like the winner of a spelling bee beauty contest.

  3. I put absurd amounts of thought into this as a kid. The final choices were: Q power, teleportation, & the ability to know all languages.
    I was a rather weird child

  5. Mine is, and stay with me here, the power of a starfish. Here’s how it goes. A starfish, when a limb is cut off, a new one grows back and that limb will grow a new starfish. Now let’s superimpose that. I loose some skin…some hair…that’s some more me’s. Sure not “limbs,” but you know, this is a superpower. I would eventually have an army of me. I couldn’t be killed. I regenerate. I can’t be drowned, starfishes can breathe underwater. All I have to worry about it…fire? that would cauterize the wound I guess.

  7. FYI, girls are geeks too 😀 I spent my study hall time drawing dragons. My power would be invisibility coupled with the ability to pass through solid objects.

  9. @kimblahq: Intangibility means you can’t be touched; essentially, you phase out a bit. You may or may not still be visible as well. For instance, in “The Tholian Web,” Kirk is intangible but visible, but in “The Next Phase,” Geordi and Ro are intangible and invisible.
    The superpower I want is an easy one: the ability to maintain full functioning for extended periods of time without sleep. I would be SO much more productive. (OK, I really wouldn’t, but I’d have a lot more time to goof off, and that’s almost as good.)

  10. It is a no brainer for me wil, jedi mind mind trick. oh yea that baby is sweet strictly for entertainment purpose. though, with great power comes need for great escape.

  11. Have to watch out for superpowers, though. For example, superspeed without invulnerability (or at least heat-resistance) means you burn up on your first try. Flying isn’t much good if you get cold or have trouble holding your breath when you get too high.
    Me, I’d go for teleportation. But have to find a way to avoid materializing inside of walls n’ trees n’ stuff.

  12. Used to love the superpower idea of micro-telekinesis i.e. ability to recognize and rearrange at a molecular or sub-molecular level…
    RE: Intangibility – sometimes interpreted as inability to by “touched” or perceived by physical senses, however actually implies a lack of a physical existence; vs Invisibility – not be visually perceived…
    Science & Word-nerd. Not ashamed of it. Also queen of typos.

  13. Only now tha ti think of it, SuperPower is such as it is. what do you think would be the most usesless or non aweinspiring superpower. that wouldnt be recognized as one, but would be possible to save lives… say like the reader…superhero that can make horrid spelling sensible..i can see it now, alter ego would be mild mannered hand signer for deaf on a news show…

  16. This question gets bandied about my group quite often.
    Dave: Karl, what superpower would you want?
    Karl: Xavier-level telepathy.
    Dave: How about you, Jim?
    Jim: Immunity to Karl.

  19. Definitely shapeshifting. Because, you know, ability to fit into and color co-ordinate with any clothing I picked? Massively awesome. Also, very useful in a sneaky sort of way. I could hit on my husband in different shapes and see if he really would pick up the hot redhead, then I could go “Ha!” and guilt him for weeks. Nay, months!
    And then there’s the whole turning into a cat or a dog when you see someone you don’t like, so you can claw their clothing and pee on their shoes…

  20. *Telepathy. (I tested out as ADD and suspect a smattering of Asperger’s, so this would be a survival tool as much as a magic power.)
    *The ability to understand every language immediately. If not available, then a Babel fish.
    *Megastrength, minus the overexposure to gamma rad.
    *Power to stop all conflicts in the world. Instantanously.

  21. re: teleportation, I always used to think it’d be handy to have transporters because it would end my punctuality problems. Over time, I realized I’d still be late, because I’d run around doing other stuff until well after it was time to get in the transporter.
    Came over here to see if you’d seen this yet:
    http://moonraking.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/lol-palin/
    Found while Googling “Lolcats Palin” on a whim.

  23. My superpower would be the ability to astrally project myself into the passenger seat of *that* car so I could tell the driver exactly why he/she is an idiot who should give up driving as a favor to society.

  24. I always hated the thought of only one superpower, so I really wanted rogue’s power of having everyone else’s abilities, but minus the tragic, killing people thing (like they did on heroes).
    fun fact: in the Portuguese version of X Men, rogue was translated to “vampira”. ugh.

  26. Being a girl who was a geek as a youth, I spent my time wanting to fly. I had reccuring dreams about it and once I read Hitchhicker’s Guide to the Galaxy about throwing yourself at the ground and missing I wanted to fly even more. And for the record, I never attempted to throw myself at the ground and miss. I’m far too clumsy for that so for me I would try to fall upwards.

  28. I want to be able to set things on fire just by THINKING at them.
    If not that, then the magic ability to tell grocery-store customers what huge idiots they are without getting fired. Yeah, that’d be nice.

  29. Well, what some of you geeky guys didn’t realize was that some of the “cool” girls were sitting very close by ALSO discussing their supepower preferences, wondering why none of the guys would talk to them…funny, huh? By the way, controllable super-strength, methinks.

  30. I’m a girl geek. As Herbwoman pointed out, we do this, too. For me, it was telekinesis and the power to converse with animals.
    My spelling-fu has always been pretty strong. Except that instant messengers appear to be my kryptonite.

  32. I have spent, and continue to spend, hours contemplating this very thing. Then I think to myself, “man, that’d be a lot of responsibility.” This usually results in my sitting quietly in a corner by myself considering all the intricacies of each superpower, the subsequent consequences and the ethical points to be made until something distracts me and I snap out of it.

  33. Though, honestly. Really. Cool superpowers aside… The most welcome super power for me as a kid would have been the ability to grok the kids around me, so I could walk in their social circles without sticking out. To be a social chameleon.

  39. Hey Wil – I just Bogart’d this comment block to get in touch with you, in case the email thing isn’t working. Email me at:
    leej at alumni dot xxx dot edu
    where xxx is the college I attended.
    Your former poker buddy, Lee

  43. Another geek girl here. I think I decided pretty early on in my nerdish career not to sweat the what-powers-would-I-get issue. Because if I had powers, then there’s the “with great powers there must also come &c” quandary, and I would make an awful superhero.
    I really wanted to be Q when I was 10, though.

  44. Ooooh ooooh ooooooh…. To show my true ubergeekness (and my age) way before Martin Landau played Bela Legosi in Ed Wood, he played Commander Koneig (sp?)<---- need that superpower too---- anyway anyway.... on this cool show named Space 1999. There was this alien superchic Mia or Maya if memory serves me and she was a shapeshifter!! YAY YAY... I've always wanted to be a shapeshifter. I guess that qualifies me as an ubergeek even if watching Space 1999 before it went into syndication doesn't. wheeeee. Gosh Wil, I love your thoughts. Wil the Mighty Frater Uber Geek King of all Blogness. .... in other words you're my hero. Just Doshia Post Script duuun duuuun duuuun du du duuuun do do dooo dooo doo dooo doo doooo duuuun duuuuun. (themesong to afore mentioned old scifi show.... can you hear it? can you hear it?)

  46. Thanks for posting this Wil. It really gave me the smile I needed today. What is really funny is I think I had this photo of you from Tiger Beat (or whatever magazines I was into when I was in the 12-13 age range). I generally bought anything with the Corey’s on the cover.
    I now am bewildered whenever I pass the racks of these types of magazines at my local supermarket and see that they cost upwards of $6-8 each, as I remember using spare change found around the house to buy them. Once purchased, they were quickly thrown into the plastic wicker basket on my bike and then shared with my little sister. I think she is still a closet Kirk Cameron junky…

  47. I mentioned this post to my husband (who is an engineer) and he replied, “Yeah, Britannica Man.” Make of it what you will.
    By the way, found you on Twitter yesterday, followed your link back to the blog. I haven’t read the word “grok” in 20 years – love it.

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