Stormpocalypse followed me home from Seattle, and I fell asleep – and woke up several times last night – to the sound of rain pouring down on my house.
I’ve been waiting for the weather to get cold and rainy, so I can finally put down my rye grass seed, so I was thrilled at the prospect of a few inches of rain today and tomorrow . . . until I got up this morning and discovered that our roof has a serious leak. This is never good news, but we just spent our entire home improvement budget repairing the damage from past storms, and fundamentally altering the part of our house that we thought was responsible for it.
It turns out that there’s a different leak, somewhere else on the roof, and not only do we have no idea where it is, it’s going to put a lot of stress on our already-stressed monthly budget to find and repair it.
As you can imagine, I was very unhappy when I saw water pouring down my living room wall this morning, but we made a call to the roof guy, and he told Anne that there’s nothing we can do until it dries up.
After talking to him she told me, “He’ll come out tomorrow, but as far as today goes, freaking out about it won’t accomplish anything.”
I was already on my way to a serious category five freakout, but she was right. I needed to figure out a way to pull out of the spiral of anger and frustration, especially since I’m writing a column today on how you can deal with holiday stress and actually enjoy the season. I commented on Twitter that I was enjoying the cognitive dissonance.
I don’t like wallowing in pity or other negative emotions, so I gave myself a task for the day: focus only on the things that make me happy. I picked out the very first thing that came to mind: Sleigh Ride was playing on Soma’s Christmas Lounge. Ever since I was a little kid, that was the song for Christmas. It’s so upbeat and evokes such wonderful images of happiness and joy, it never fails to put a smile on my face.
Project Procrastinate Under Deadline required me to share this moment with Twitter, and in so doing, I remembered something someone said to me many, many years ago. I forget the precise wording, but the suggestion was to take a moment every day to identify three different things that I was happy or grateful for. The exercise is awesome, because the first thing is always very easy to list, but it’s a challenge to just pick two more things.
I can only speak for myself, but in the process of identifying just three things I’m happy about, I always find a lot more, and no matter how upsetting or annoying the bad things are, they are vastly outweighed by the good. It’s easy to lose perspective when your roof is leaking (but at least you’ve got a roof, right?) or when your boss is bitching you out about putting new covers on the TPS reports (at least you’ve got a job, right?) or when a continent or an ocean separates you from the person you love most in the world (I don’t have to put a parenthetical on this one, right?) But it’s just as easy to spend a minute picking out things that make you happy as it is to focus on the things that suck. It’s empowering, too, because when you focus on the good things, you make a successful save vs. everything else in the world and get +5 to all other saves for the rest of the day.
Here are the three things I picked out this morning:
1.) I’m healthy and in good shape. 2.) I have a family that truly loves each other. 3.) I have a series of very good jobs.
About a hundred people have replied to me on Twitter, sharing three things that make them happy. I’m going to assume that many of you reading this are dealing with some degree of holiday stress; why not take a minute – just sixty seconds out of the day – and reflect on three things that make you happy? Whether you’re having a great day or a lousy one, I promise you’ll feel better when you’re done.
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I hear ya wil, I myself have to use some sick time tomorrow to get a pipe leak fixed. 20 bucks in PVC is going to cost me 600+ to install thanks to illinois licensed plumbing rates. Why can’t we just have a geordi, scotty or miles obrien on call 24/7?
BTW I forgot, 600+ to fix the pipe, I make 800 per check(got paid today, no savings yet)) and had to pay my 200 dollar car payment today…no idea how I’m going to work it out. Good luck wil.
Great on the three things. Last year I had a roof leak. Never tried repairing it myself before, but what i did worked like a charm. First, I climbed into attic & traced up the truss to where the water was coming in & marked it with a sharpie. Then I bought some shingles, roofing felt paper & roofing “sealant”. Back to the attic with a drill & coat hanger. I drilled the location I marked & pushed the coat hanger through. Then, outside, I found the hanger & carefully removed the shingles around the hole. Then, I cut the felt paper to overlap the area nicely, smeared it with goo, & nailed a couple of new shingles back into place. Worked like a charm. I got a great sense of accomplishment fixing it myself.
Wil, Thanks for the reminder to force ourselves to look on the bright side of things. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day!
Up here is Seattle we have snow, ice, and frozen pipes. With the latter you don’t know about leaks until everything thaws. Frozen pipes are Winter’s booby-traps. =\
–chuck
Three things:
Married life.
Old friends.
New friends.
1. work is slow enough to get my desk cleaned off
2. Looking forward to doing some Christmas shopping this evening
3. Having friend in person and online that make my days happy.
My grandmother always told me to “count my blessings” whenever I was upset about something. I hated it (in retrospect I realize it was dismissive of my feelings), but it can be a good exercise if it isn’t forced on you.
Everyday I am thankful for the same things you listed:
1) I have a wonderful wife and daughter.
2) I have my health.
3) I have a good job.
Although the top three things that stink are generally there at the top of my mind too.
1) Housing is too expensive.
2) Will I have enough saved to live when I am too old to work? (Sure, that is still 30+ years away, but time flies)
3) The rest of my family is too far away.
But thinking of the things that trouble me makes me even more thankful that I don’t have to worry about things like how I’m going to pay the power bill before they shut off the heat.
Not too long ago someone asked me to list the things that make me happy. It really does help improve your attitude about life.
http://jenngator222.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-happiness.html
Only three? Gah. You’re right, there is an embarassment of riches.
1. The pouring rain visible outside my 3rd floor office window.
2. My 3rd floor office window.
3. One human and five (quite damp outdoor) cats who are looking forward to me returning home tonight, through the pouring rain.
It’s been a stressful few months for me, so this is good advice, Wil. Thanks.
1. My husband/kitties.
2. My friend Lauren coming up to visit next month.
3. Anticipating my husband’s reaction when he sees what I bought him for Christmas.
1. I have an insane amount of friends and family who I recently found out I can call on for just about anything.
2. The holidays are coming, and for once I am not sick/ungodly busy/away from home.
3. I am about to go out to eat with a HUGE group of family and friends. And that is fun. YAY BIRTHDAYS!
1. New apartment: Imminent
2. Fat black cat wearing new pink skull collar
3. Going home for the holidays, and will likely return with OODLES of blogging fodder …
🙂
1. I’ll have my MA on Saturday. 2. I get to see my friends from high school & college over the next 2 weeks. 3. Matt loaned me enough Buffy dvds to get through the rest of my paper writing
If only I had a post-grad job I’d be the happiest person on earth
Can you keep Stormpocalypse up there with you? Or did you leave us with this snow in return…
😉
“…freaking out about it won’t accomplish anything.”
I seriously wish certain people I know would take a page or three from that philosophy. Life would be much less stressful. Especially mine.
Okay, so my three things…
…
1)Work has gotten a lot better in the past week or so.
2)I got something to work that hasnt been (well, anyway)
3)My Muse made an appearance…sort of.
I actually had to think to find them. 🙁
1. Grammy Museum (sooo interactively awesome)
2. Teenager is a good kid
3. My roof is LEAKING TOO, but not pouring down the wall
hey wil-
happy holidays to you and your family.
1) my partner of 9 years, Paula and our 4 feline fur children
2)my health – i am a 5 year esophageal cancer survivor – who is fed by tube and hasn’t eaten real food in 4 years – life over taco ANYDAY! LIFE ROCKS!
3)being a wil wheaton fan , reading your blog and BEING A GEEK!!!!
stay well wil and family
1. Wife and I are expecting our firstborn in April
2. I got to feel the baby kick for the first time last night (awesomefuckingawesome)
3. the first two are plenty enough for me right now 🙂
1. That I have a partner whom I love and who loves me dearly and cats that appreciate my loyalty and servitude.
2. That I have a roof over my head and will for the forseeable future. (And that if it leaks I have a leasing office to take care of it.)
3. That at the moment I have health insurance.
Thank you
1) I am regaining my health after a long, trying process, which means I can do things I couldn’t do for more than two years- like playing my viola
2) I am surrounded by amazing people that not only don’t hesitate to help me out, and don’t hesitate to let me help them.
3) A new and exciting crush, that I totally intend on pursuing!
Our roof has been leaking off and on for almost a year now. After many a roofer left, completely flummoxed by the problem, we finally had someone point out that our gutters had some leaves in them, and this was causing water to back up ever-so-slightly. But it was just enough to make the entire back side of the house leak. We just had Leaf Guard gutters installed, and we’re surviving the rain quite nicely now, thank you.
1. I did something new with the medical students today and they learned AND had fun. The best part was the lessons they learned were non-medical.
2. I have the awesomest of friends at work.
3. I haven’t finished my Christmas shopping and I couldn’t care less, even though I’m working all this week and next. Normally I stress about this but I don’t really care. It’ll get done.
I keep what I call a Gratitude Journal, and before I go to sleep, I write down 5 things I’m thankful for. I try hard to do it every day, but I always do it at least a few times a week.
Some days those things are as inane as … well, as remembering to write down what I’m thankful for. Other days they’re more profound, like realizations born of crystallized moments with my teenage sons that give me insight into who they’re becoming.
It’s been a very difficult year for me for a host of reasons, and I’ve found that when I make the effort to refocus on the positive, it really DOES affect the outcome I’m anticipating.
The universe listens; we just have to make sure we’re telling it the right things. ;-}
“Project Procrastinate Under Deadline”
I love it! I thought I was the only one who was managing this project. 🙂
3 things that I am grateful for:
1. My family, and how we’ve grown closer together as we’ve gone through various life stresses
2. My health, and the associated awareness, so I can more easily stay as healthy as I chose
3. My life and work, and how they’ve continued to align and reinforce each other over the past 12 months, and how that continues each day
Good luck w/the roof!
1.My Hubby,Kids
2.My hubby’s job,so I can stay home with kids and attend thier school events and not worry about if bills are paid
3.My brand new three hour old nephew…God is GREAT! He came after 14 years of infertility for my sister and B-IL!
This was very timely, here’s my 3:
1. I’m grateful for my loving and supportive family. Sheryl, Lisa and Moneka each in their own unique ways add to my happiness and being close to the rest of my family offers me an easy, unspoken comfort that only closeness can bring.
2. I’m happy that I have a challenging and enjoyable job with wonderful colleagues, many of whom I’ve known for over 20 years.
3. I’m grateful for my friends, here and there, real and virtual. Without you, life would be a dull tapestry indeed.
Complete with comments on my site, All the Pages (are my days)
1. My husband, Brian
2. My dog, Robin
3. People who strive for positivity in the face of adversity
jkm
You could probably add a number 4, with it being you ten years from now saying “Do you remember when….” It’s funny how we think we’ll never make it through a problem, until you look back at it a number of years down the road.
1)my daughter & grandchildren
2)my companion animals
3)crossstitch or knitting (an hour with colors & steady rhythm does wonders)
You need to get Mike Holmes down there!
Things I’m grateful for…
My kid
My job
My stunning good looks
OK, that last one’s a work in progress. 😉 But I do have a very charming smile and I’m not afraid to use it! And I’m happy for that. 🙂
1 – Happy healthy children
2 – a casual friend (& really good mechanic) has offered to fix the car for less than 1/2 of what the garage would have charged, but didn’t think it was worth it to do, so now we don’t need a new car.
3 – niche markets that make both mine and my husband’s jobs secure from the tanking economy
1. Wonderful family and friends
2. My pets
3. I’m pregnant, which will bring people joy this season!
1- I’m able to make a living following my passion and being a creative person. That people like my art, design, and writing enough to pay me for my work is humbling.
2-My chosen family, consisting of friends and Internet Acquaintances, are all brilliant, loving, supportive people. I adore them all.
3-Having the skills and talents to be of service to others is something I’m very grateful for.
Hey, it worked! Thanks for that!
1. I didn’t get the job after my interview, but I got great positive feedback.
2. My Dad got in touch of his own accord.
3. My Mum is getting promoted and will finally have a salary she can live on.
Stormpocalypse leads to life-altering optimism? Only in this universe.
What am I happy for…?
*I am so ready for my Algebra final tomorrow.
*Even though I have to run a mile for my Gym final, I think I’ll survive. 😉
*It just started snowing outside, and it’s awfully gosh-darned beautiful.
1. I have found lots of wonderful friends here in Tucson/Yavapai.
2. I got an A in writing systems of the world.
3. I am going to eat italian food tonight with my boyfriend.
My brother, a smoker of over twenty years, is smoke-free for six weeks.
I just got home safe from two plane rides.
My husband is making me dinner.
Echoing Amy’s comment about keeping a Gratitude Journal, I thought I’d take a moment to plug a friend’s iPhone app, called “Gratitude“.
I hope I’m not being too spammy, but I thought it was appropriate. Please let me know if you think otherwise.
This is such a hard thing to remember sometimes, especially when the stresses of life tend to overshadow what’s really there. Thanks for the reminder, as usual.
1. My husband, who always gives me more than I deserve. Or rather less, depending on your perspective.
2. My health. While I just went deaf in my right ear, I have great hearing in my left ear. I could be completely deaf, and I don’t have any life-threatening illnesses.
3. My surroundings. I love this new condo we’re in: it’s the best place we’ve ever lived, we have a working roof over our heads, a warm interior, and a lovely kitchen. We’re really lucky.
Way late to the party, Wil, but your post reminded me of a new thought Mrs. KMFPL and I have been trying to live by: “Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.” We spend too much time thinking that everything will be OK once I get A, B, and C done.
So three things?
1. My wife and I are completely solid in our marriage. After 15 years of ups and downs, I know we’ll be together until death do us part.
2. We are finally getting our financial act together. It’s not perfect, and there are still Big Scary Obstacles, but we’re aligned to do something about them now.
3. I work for a great, financially solid company, and am not at all scared of layoffs/downsizing. My wife works for a less great company (the government), but is still in a very secure position.