Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Eight

Futurecast700px-B Holy crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Three important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.
  3. Did I mention that you can get your very own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One, right now, for $19.87, or as a $10 DRM-free PDF? Okay, just checking.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • This week's theme music is Down on the River By The Sugarplant, from Mike Doughty.
  • Mike Doughty is on Twitter, you know, and if you want to get his new record Sad Man Happy Man(OMG GET IT FERREALZ) you can find it at Amazon, among other places.
  • This week, I dish out some JUSTICE, y'all. Don't listen to this one around the kids, unless you're ready to have The Talk with them, ifyaknowhatimean.
  • Why, yes, I did toss up some new artwork this week. Thanks for noticing.
  • As promised, here's a link that will direct you to a full, live performance.
  • I don't think I said thank you enough in the podcast, so, just to be sure I was clear: Seriously, guys, thank you for your support with Memories of the Future.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wants the Three Worf Moon Shirt.
  • Memories of the Futurecast snores when it sleeps in the sun by the couch.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wants you to add your own pictures to Wheaton's Books In The Wild at Flickr.
  • Memories of the Futurecast puts the lotion on its skin.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is 28.8 MB.
  • Memories of the Futurecast starts on page 74. But, seriously, good luck following along.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is 30 minutes long.

Ready?! Okay, then! Set your phasers to: Download Memories of the Futurecast episode eight

Buy your own copy of Memories of the Future, Volume One. It's just $19.87 for a print version, or $10 for the DRM-free PDF.

45 thoughts on “Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Eight”

  2. Yes! I’ve been anticipating this all day! Oh, and I have a bone to pick with you, Wil. I finally got my copy of MotF today and stupidly took a sip of coffee just as something totally irreverently funny you had written had just registered in my brain. The result? Coffee all over my computer desk and my optical mouse became a casualty. I had to dig around in old boxes in my closet to find a standard mouse just so I could correspond with others until I get a new optical mouse.
    In other words: Wheaton, you’re fucking funny and that’s all there is to it!

  3. I bought the book. I own the book. The book has arrived. I am reading the book. I should finish reading the book tonight.
    The book is good. Very good. The book says everyone should by the book. The book will take care of you. Buy the book. Read the book. Let the book consume you. You will be one with the book.
    Question #1: Any place we can post reviews of the book (Lulu, here, maybe a reviews thread???)
    Question #2. How many of these are you planning? At nearly $20 a book (and I am not complaining because the book promised not to burn my comic collection if I bought all of them) I may be personally financing your kids higher education.

  4. Answer 1: I believe you *can* post reviews at Lulu, and I’m certainly happy to hear from anyone who wants to share their thoughts on the book, just put them into an on-topic post.
    Answer 2: At least one more volume, but I hope that they’re successful enough to justify doing them all the way until my last episode as a regular, which would probably end up being 8 volumes, with some sort of chapbook or something for the few episodes I did as a recurring character.

  5. I think Google analytics is lying to you.
    And hey man, I love all the strange fuckups in the podcast. Your phone makes the same noises mine does and that makes me feel less like a weirdo.

  6. SQUEE! (Told you there was an echo in here!)
    I totally can’t upload to Flickr from here, but feel free to add my pic. Or I’ll try to do it when I get home. I only have my phone here in merry olde England. But I have free wifi, so I’m off to DL now! Whee!

  9. Just catching up, I noticed that the iTunes podcast has only episodes 7 and 8. Any particular reason it’s limited to the latest shows? Would be nice to get all the shows in one single podcast. You know, for us organizationally-challenged types.

  10. Holy carp! My sides actually feel as if they’re going to split open, that’s how hard I’m laughing! ::Dorky snort-laughing uncontrollably:: Just a couple of quick questions, if you don’t mind me asking:
    Have you been in touch with anyone from Next Gen since the release, and if so, what were their reactions?

  11. Aw, looks like I can’t DL from here. Not showing up on iTunes yet for me and that’s the only way it works on iPhone, I think. No biggie. Will get it later. Night, world!

  12. While I waited for the podcast to download I went ahead and uploaded a photo of my copy of MotF. I think the whole group thing is a great idea, and I’m sure that’ll not be the only photo I upload (though I may have overdone the links in the descrption…)! Now for some podcast delight.

  13. I have no idea how to “claim” my feed in iTunes, or get it to set things up correctly. If anyone wants to point me to a FM that I can RT, I’d be happy to do whatever I can to make the feed in iTunes suck less than it currently does.

  14. As one commenter posted, Google Analytics is indeed lying to you. I had no idea who far off Google Analytics was until I started to keep track of my stats with my actual host. Google Analytics shows less than 10% of my traffic. And that is one to grow on.
    Am I the only one who keeps hoping that instead of saying “giant erector set” a slip of the tongue would occur and “giant erection set” would be said instead? It is like grade 8 all over again when during science class when it was my turn to read aloud from the text book I said “orgasm” instead of “organism” repeatedly. This was even after I told myself over and over again “do not say orgasm, do not say orgasm” as I saw the dreaded word approach.
    Did you know that if you have not received your copy of MotF yet, you can read along with Justice in the book preview on Lulu?
    Did you know that Wil Wheaton is so cool, Sunken Treasure is being used by Lulu as their image for Publish > Ebooks and one other place that I cannot recall off the top of my head?
    I had a few other points but I cannot remember them at the moment.
    These have been one to grow on.

  15. Right, seeing as I missed a couple of things last time I commented this late at night, I’m going to be organised.
    1. I’m going to be a terrible show-off and let people know I’ve added a shiny, public Wave for reviewing MotFI. If you’ve got access, stop by and add your thoughts. Not that it’s lonely on there, no, that’s not it at all…
    2. Make sure to grab the Phoenix Cactus Comicon audio. It’s AAAA++++ would listen again.
    3. Darn, I’m forgetting stuff already.
    3. Where was I?
    4. Wil, could you confirm if I’m going mad or if there really is a super-secret hidden message in MotFI? It can’t be a coincidence that the first grey block of numbers says “Wesley”…
    5. I think I commented before that it’d be a shame to have your very entertaining views… OK, snarks… on ST:TNG finish where Wes’s storyline finished. I’d love to hear behind the scenes memories from the rest of the cast for the episodes after your departure. Is part of it because it’s more difficult to snark at the later seasons of TNG?

  16. 1. My copy of The Book arrived today! Yay! To tell you how excited about that I am, I actually stopped reading Boneshaker, at, like, page 363 in which Things Really Start Heating Up, in order to start reading it. Just a sneak peek, though. Must finish Boneshaker first.
    2. The book is visually appealing, well designed, taller than I thought it would be, though not as thick as I hoped it would be. I hear the little bit I’ve read so far in your voice, thanks to these podcasts. Which is making it even funnier.
    3. It’s clean. ::PING!:: It’s beautiful. ::PING!:: Yes, that was a great idea.
    4. Which is why, dude, the “strange sort of fuck-ups” are exactly what make these so much fun to listen to!
    5. Oh, yes, I remember how preachy things were on that season of Next Gen. Wesley: Why do people take drugs? Tasha: Blah blah blah Just Say No. Did Nancy Reagan write that script or what? PING!

  17. Sadly, I am forced to point out that your adjustments to the episode 7 post have not solved the iTunes issue. Perhaps because the iTunes thingamabobber is not refreshing now that it has it on its server or whatever (can you tell I am highly technically savvy in the ways of podcasts? Heh). In any case, the version of Episode 7 up on iTunes remains 6:50 seconds of MC Frontalot.

  18. 1. My copy of The Book arrived today! Yay! To show you how stoked I was about that, I stopped reading Boneshaker at like page 393 wherein Things Really Start Heatng Up, so I could start reading it. Just for a sneak peek, though.
    2. It’s visually appealing, well designed, taller than I thought it would be, slimmer than I hoped it would be. The bit I’ve read so far, I hear in your voice. Which makes it even funnier.
    3. It’s clean. ::PING!:: It’s beautiful. ::PING!:: Hee. Yes, that was a good idea.
    4. These “strange f-ups” ::PING!:: and asides and pauses and silly sound effects and non-professional cell phone interruptions are exactly what make these podcasts so fun to listen to!
    5. Oh yeah, I remember how preachy the first season of Next Gen was. Wesley: Why are drugs bad? Tasha: Blah blah blah Just Say No. Did Nancy Reagan write that episode, or what? ::PING!::

  19. Hmm, I’ve tried to post a comment here three times and nothin’ is showing up. So, sorry if it does end up here three times after all, and if it doesn’t, the gist of my comment was: My copy of the book showed up today. Yay!

  20. Ok, that comment showed up. Hmm. Maybe the other was too long. Anyway–the book is visually appealing, well designed, taller than I thought it would be, slimmer than I hoped it would be. The bit I’ve read so far, I hear in your voice. Which makes it even funnier.
    It’s clean. ::PING!:: It’s beautiful. ::PING!:: Hee. Yes, that was a good idea.

  21. Your strange f-ups ::PING!:: and asides and pauses and silly sound effects and non-professional cell phone interruptions are exactly what make these podcasts so fun to listen to!

  22. And finally, (I will stop commenting now!), oh yeah, I remember how preachy the first season of Next Gen was. Wesley: Why are druuugz bad? Tasha: Blah blah blah Just Say No. Did Nancy Reagan write that episode, or what? ::PING!::

  23. Just a nearly 50 suburban dad here – totally enjoying the podcast (and a downloaded MotF, too). My whole family has seen ALL of the TNG seasons on DVD, and it brought back lots of fond memories for my wife and I – we were newlyweds when the show originally aired and watched them all then. So the first season memories are very cool. And my dog loves the podcast, too! Well, he doesn’t actually know why he gets such a good long walk on Monday nights now, but he’s totally into it. I passed along the link to the Futurecasts to my college student son and now he’s sharing it with his friends. Keep it up!
    No, that wasn’t a “Justice” joke.

  24. Just heard your live performance and nearly pee’d myself! I laughed so much at your Kmart toy department story! I’m just a little older but just as much a geek (at least back in the late 70’s and early 80’s – I like to think that I’ve grown out of it but since I bought the latest Hallmark Star Trek ornament {the ships only} this morning perhaps not just yet). I re-lived so many moments in that reading – thank goodness I can laugh at myself! Lovin the MotF podcasts and just got my copy of the book, I’ll upload a photo soon. Taking a few minutes for pure nostalgia has helped deliver me from all the crap happening at work. Thanks!

  25. Please Wil help me! First block – intro, says “Wesley.” Can’t figure the rest. Can’t sleep. What is the key? Or is there one????? Hint please!!!!

  28. Thanks for turning me on to Mike Doughty’s work. I used to love the Soul Coughing tracks that got some airplay, but I didn’t know who the voice was behind the music. This guy is great.

  29. Hey Wil,
    I noticed the mention of a possible Halloween Radio Free Burrito. First. Awesome. Second, I humbly submit a cover of the main theme of a somewhat obscure Korean horror/suspense movie called A Tale of Two Sisters. Awesome prOn title, I know, but it’s actually one of the best low-key horror movies I’ve seen, and I’ve seen a few. Anyway…here’s the cover from my band The Surfactants:
    http://www.xeromusic.com/ataleoftwosisters.mp3
    Free for you and everyone else.
    Happy Halloween!

  30. Thanks Wil – that totally didn’t suck. But since I’ve been listening to these podcasts, I don’t really need to buy the book, right? I mean same stuff, no? (Just teasing!)
    “Justice” always weirds me out… too much middle-aged skin for outer space. But now I have to go watch it again in light of this new intelligence on the subject.
    And I totally vote YES for a Halloween episode of RFB – last year’s was most excellent and Halloween clearly brings out the 80s in you.
    On that note, Happy Halloween! y’all. I just saw Paranormal Activity and it was scary – kind of 80s American Werewolf in London in a 00s kind of way. (We’re almost into the 2000-teens – holy s!)

  31. Oh and thanks for offering the DRM-free PDF – you’re strange but also good! I just Lulued it and it be here already.

  33. William
    Ive been listening to these since you started because I do indeed remember all these with equal parts nostalgia and facepalm, but I wanted to let you know that your ‘what Wesley Crusher was thinking’ bit made me spray coffee over my work desk nearly ruining the animation cel I was working on
    you bloody champion, keep up the good work, that was awesome

  34. Loved the Futurecast, as usual, it made me laugh until I almost peed myself, but I *do* have one gripe for you, Wil. So you’re a man without a team this year for the World Series, huh? Are you completely sure about that? Because you never know if some Annoying Chick from Philly would take something like that personally. Just sayin’.

  35. I love the podcast and bought a copy of the book for my wife who is a hude trekkie for xmas. The book is printed and headed my way but not in my hands yet. Question: is there any way to get the book dedicated and autographed once I *do* get it? I figured I’d post here since I have no other way of getting hold of you.

  38. Woo! That’s great to hear! I sincerely hope you feel they are worth the investment of your time and money. Thanks for your support!

  39. Just went to feed the outdoor cats (my neighbor’s) and saw that the postman left my copy of MoTF on the porch, instead of at the side door where the easy to read sign directs them to leave packages. Almost a near disaster – we are just starting a predicted 36 hours of constant rain and this book was almost a casualty. Can’t wait to get started reading it.

  40. My wife really wants an audio book. Maybe you could do is an “almost an audio book” by doing it the podcast style without edits and random thoughts added in.
    From her facebook: “found podcasts by Wil Wheaton on Podling that B must have uploaded.”
    “Damn you, Wheaton! Damn you for being funny and engaging and making the rest of my work day tolerable! I thought i was over you. Sigh. I guess the first crush never really dies.”

  41. Bought the book and read it cover to cover. The number of pop-culture references you make that I identify from my past was astonishing. I’ll buy each volume that comes along. And incidentally, I never hated Wesley.

  42. I just want to tell you how much I enjoy your podcasts. I am really looking forward to reading the book! :)I’m listening to my audio version of Just a Geek though, so it will have to wait ’til I am done with that. You are a wonderful writer!

  43. …just now listening to the recording of the live Phoenix show…you do tend to have a gift for knocking over water bottles…was second in line at PAX this year awaiting a signed book and you decided to dump a full one also…I detect a theme/trend…

  44. Been reading MOTF and am enjoying it immensely.
    By the way, I don’t know if I ever thanked you for stopping yourself from using the word “retard” at your talk some months back. My son, who has Down syndrome, is a fan of yours, and it meant a lot to him.
    Carolyn Campbell

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“The library is a safe place.”

In order to survive, I disassociated for much of my childhood, but I clearly remember the books. That's where I found comfort, companionship, inspiration and validation. It's where the imagination that powers everything I do creatively in my life today was born. And it all started in that library, with that librarian. She was one of the first people I can remember asking me, "What do you like? What's important to you? What do you want to know more about? How can I help you find it?"

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