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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

the twelve days of pirate christmas

Posted on 23 December, 2009 By Wil

Reader Brian B. sent me this yesterday, and it made me smile so much, I secured permission to share it.

"The Twelve Days of Pirate Christmas"

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me … 

12 ships to plunder, 

11 cannons firing, 

10 crewmen leaping, 

9 sharks a' swimming, 

8 rum-filled bottles, 

7 lusty wenches, 

6 jolly rogers, 

5 gold doubloons, 

4 eyepatches, 

3 earrings, 

2 wooden legs, 

and a parrot for my shoulder – Arrr!

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Comments (19)

  1. LinksMonkey says:
    23 December, 2009 at 6:31 am

    Whil,
    Thanx for sharing w/your readers.
    FedEx-ing my first born as promised.
    – Brian B.

  2. John Compton says:
    23 December, 2009 at 6:44 am

    Nice.
    And in keeping with the theme, I humbly present to the masses my favorite pirate joke:
    A pirate walks into a bar, and he’s got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, “Hey, what’s that steering wheel doing there?” The pirate says, “Aaarrrr, it’s driving me nuts.”
    Badump-bump.
    Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitresses.

  3. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=827112854 says:
    23 December, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Awesome! Right up there with ‘How the Illithid Stole Lolthmas’

  4. GumbyTTL says:
    23 December, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Outstanding. Thanks for keeping all your fans in mind during this festive and hectic time of year. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Wil.

  5. Wil's#1FAN!!! says:
    23 December, 2009 at 10:59 am

    That is just great.

  6. Wil's#1FAN!!! says:
    23 December, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Merry Christmas to all.

  7. Wil's#1FAN!!! says:
    23 December, 2009 at 11:05 am

    ha ha I get it.

  8. WolfeShade says:
    23 December, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    I ordered Memories of the Future for me and as a Christmas present for a friend. I’ve had such a horrible week at work, but the book arrived today, and already I’m feeling better knowing what’s in store for my reading pleasure. Thank you for all your wonderful words, and you and yours have a Very Merry Christmas!!

  9. Emily Belsey says:
    23 December, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Thanks for sharing, Wil! It was so great to be at the BBT taping the night you were there. I feel like a total nerd though right now – I’m reading your blog while watching Star Trek: TGN. 🙂 My dad trained me well, right?

  10. boggsie says:
    23 December, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    What ?! No YouTube music video ?
    Blessings,
    -boggsie

  11. JCB1978 says:
    23 December, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Hahaha….so great! I think we can all use some humor right now. Thank you for sharing this. Thanks to BrianB too:)

  12. xThanatoSx says:
    24 December, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Heh – that’s win of the epic variety 🙂

  13. DarkSir says:
    24 December, 2009 at 5:35 am

    Wil,
    I got Sunken Treasure for Christmas yesterday. Really loving it. Can’t wait to work my way back through the rest of your works. 🙂 I still can’t decide if I want the dead tree or dead electron version of Just a Geek, though. Does anyone have a recommendation for me?
    Radio Free Burrito and the Acquisitions Inc. podcasts will be accompanying us on our 5 hour drive to and from my fiance’s family today and Sunday. Thanks for everything 🙂

  14. treksnoopy says:
    24 December, 2009 at 8:50 am

    These really made my morning:-) Thanks everyone. Please be safe in your travels and have a great weekend with your family and friends.

  15. MaK says:
    24 December, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Merry Christmas, Wil:


    Merry Christmas, Wesley:


    Or should that be the other way round…?

  16. John Luiza says:
    24 December, 2009 at 9:19 am

    @wilw:
    Grr. Not sure if my direct tweet went through. Just a fan saying thanks. You are a great roll model (ha! my puncreas!) on how to embrace everything in life: the good, the bad, the ugly. You bring me entertainment and geekery at its finest. You also show how great it is to embrace your loves. If I weren’t a poor med student, I’d buy all your audiobooks.
    Maybe one day in the future I’ll see you at PAX or something cool like that and buy you a beer. A Leffe Blond. MMMM. Then we can talk about how we both managed to get women more awesome than we deserve.
    Oh and my Dog says thank you for teaching me to have deep conversations with her.
    Happy Holidays!

  17. MythicFox says:
    24 December, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Is it wrong that my first thought at that was “Hey, it’s a Pastafarian Holiday Hymn”?

  18. Freeman says:
    25 December, 2009 at 7:55 am

    The 12 days of Christmas are traditionally Dec. 25 – Jan. 5. On Jan. 6 the three Wise Men arrive in Bethlehem to do homage to the newborn King of Israel, Jesus. (Matthew 2:1-12)

  19. DarkSir says:
    27 December, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    My decision was made for me. I also got Just A Geek for Christmas. I finished it at about 8pm :). It answered a lot of questions I had, having really only seen you from 2006 forward. A wonderful book. While RFB and Acq Inc took us on a 5 hour drive here, my two new books will accompany us back. I don’t perform your stuff as well as you do, but I’ll do my best.

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