I am delivering the inaugural keynote at PAX East

I just realized that I mentioned this on Twitter over a week ago, and it's been on a lot of the gaming sites, but I never actually carved out a little hunk of blog-o-state to mention…

I am giving the inaugural keynote address to PAX East in Boston on March 26th. 

I've been working on my keynote, which involves throwing away about five words for every one I keep, every day for a couple weeks. I know I'm getting close to having a zero draft to start rewriting and perfecting, because my brain's been waking me up several times a night for the last five or six days to give me a great idea that can go into one section or another.

When Robert Khoo offered me the keynote, my first thought was, "No fucking way. The 2007 PAX Prime keynote was the best speech I've ever given in my life. There is no way I can top that, or even equal it."

"I need to think about it for a couple of days," is what I said, though. I mean, it would have been silly to just pass on it without even trying to come up with something, right?

So the first thing I did was accept that the 2007 Prime address was a perfect storm of timing and delivery and hard work. I was never going to top that, so I wasn't even going to try. If I did this keynote – the inaugural keynote for PAX East, no less – I would just have to give it permission to be its own thing, and accept that the 2007 keynote is something awesome that's in the background.

That simple acceptance took a lot of weight off of my shoulders, and an idea began to come together. I remember walking out into the back yard that afternoon, where Anne was playing with our dog. "I can totally do this," I said.

"Well, thanks, but I think I have it covered," she said, tossing this thing that started life as a knotted rope toward the back wall for our dog to chase.

"Oh. Right. I forgot that you weren't part of the conversation I was having in my head. I mean, I can totally do this keynote. I have an idea."

In my head, I heard Captain Sternn say, "Take it easy, Charlie. I've got an angle…" and hoped that the ultimate conclusion of my plans would be a little less … explosive.

I told her what I wanted to do with my keynote, then I got on the phone with my friend and editor Andrew and told him. Andrew is a geek like me, and Anne is a geek-adjacent normal person. They both give me honest feedback about my crazy ideas, so when they both thought it was a solid plan from their different perspectives, I decided to accept the invitation.

I called Robert and told him my idea. He thought it was a good idea, and we ended the conversation sort of like this:

Me: Yeah, so I totally want to do this. I think it will be awesome.

Robert: I'll see you in Boston, then.

Me: Awesome.

Robert: Awesome.

Incidentally, I appear to have a class feature which gives all members of my party +5 to saying awesome.

I hung up the phone, and about five seconds elapsed before the panic set in. "What have I done? What have I gotten myself into? I can't do this! I suck! They're all going to laugh at me!"

Ah, the panic. Years ago, it would have paralyzed me, but I've done this long enough to recognize that it's just part of my creative process. Now I can actually use it to get me to the next step, which is I suck, followed by this is stupid, before eventually arriving at hey, this is actually pretty cool.

As I said, I've been working on this night and day, pretty much exclusively, for about three weeks. I'm trying to take breaks to write other things, record RFB, and maintain progress on Memories of the Future Volume 2, but it's incredibly difficult to take my brain off the task at hand. Part of my brain obviously needs to vent pressure, though, because every day I'm adding something new to my little book of story ideas. When this is all over, I may even be able to turn some of them into actual stories.

I'm not looking forward to I suck and this is stupid, but I know that hey, this is actually pretty cool, is on the horizon, and I'm not going to lie to you, Marge: I'm very excited to finish writing my keynote, and even more excited to deliver it.

See you in Boston. 

Awesome. 

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57 thoughts on “I am delivering the inaugural keynote at PAX East”

  3. Wil, my crew and I cannot wait to see you at PAX East! We are very excited that you will be giving the keynote, especially since we were unsure of your general attendance until this came to light.
    Awesome!!!

  5. I talked about a similar phenomenon the other day. You have to work through the hard, the pain, and the yuck to get to the good stuff. Now that you know that about yourself, that the good stuff does in fact lie on the other side of all the I sucks and this is stupids there’s nothing you can’t do. Have fun, man. Enjoy the ride!

  6. I’m extremely excited because this means I’m not scheduled opposite you, which of course means I can both see the keynote *and* people will actually be in the audience for mine. 😀
    S.

  9. See YOU in Boston.
    Actually, I kinda hope I don’t, since my wife put me on notice that she’s ditching me for you if she gets even half a chance.
    …Awesome. *sigh*

  12. “Geek-adjacent normal person” may just be THE most awesome description of a non-geek person. I can’t wait to hear your keynote. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome!

  13. You finally come to an east coast convention, and it’s in Boston. In march. Stupid education that actually requires me to go to class. *impotent nerd rage*

  14. If PAX East gets annihilated by a janitor freaking out and turning into the Incredible Hulk while holding a small green globule he calls the Loc-Nar and howling that Wil Wheaton is a scumbag blankety-blank, I just want to say it right now: I called it!

  16. I started kicking myself for not buying a PAX badge the minute you announced that you were giving the keynote, and I haven’t stopped since. See, my logic went kind of like this:
    Me: You could go to PAX East. Use the trip as the ultimate date by which you must conquer your paralyzing fear of flying.
    Me: But if I’m going to fly, I might as well fly to Seattle for summer PAX. Visit my brother. All that jazz.
    Me: But Seattle PAX is the same weekend as Dragon*Con.
    Me: Well, crap. Too much nerd. Not enough time or transporters.
    Me: You could go to PAX East. Use the trip as the ultimate date by which you must conquer your paralyzing fear of flying …
    Around and around, until 3-day badges were sold out. And then the keynote announcement. And then sorrow.
    That said, thank you for reminding all of us creative people that “I suck! They’re all going to laugh at me!” is a normal part of the creative process.

  17. Wil and all,
    PSA: weekend passes look like they’re sold out, as are Saturday passes.
    If your talk is on Friday, you might tell people to get their Friday passes ASAP.

  20. Awesome.
    I’m very excited for this, Wil. I’ve never been to a con, with the fact that most of the best ones are on the West Coast, and I live in Rhode Island. (I tried to see you while you were in Quahog, but it didn’t work out! 😉 )
    When PAX east was announced, I was pretty sure I wanted to go. I put off getting a badge, and kept looking to see if you were gonna be there.
    The second you announced you were doing the keynote, I bought a badge! I’m just bummed the weekend pass was sold out, but at least I’ll be there Friday for your speech.
    Look forward to meeting you at a signing!

  21. finally found your site yesterday. saw you were going to be the keynote at pax east. called wife to buy our tix STAT (my first con-squee!). cried myself to sleep when i learned everything good has been sold out and i can only go on sunday. will you be there (oh please, oh please)?

  24. I need to retire from the Air Force already so I can start going to some of these events.
    Sometimes being stuck in Oklahoma sucks…as if any of these events would ever be held in this bastion of geekdom. *rolls eyes*
    I look forward to reports of your rousing success with the speech, nonetheless.

  25. There's a fantastic Trek convention in Tulsa every year, called the Tulsa Trek Expo. I don't know if I'll be attending this year, but when I went there in 2002, I had a wonderful time.

  26. Don’t tease me, damn you. 🙂
    June 25th-27th 2010 in Tulsa… I’ll be damned.
    So, what’s it going to take to see your name on the guest star list, mister?
    Ooh! Sheba from the original BSG! RAWWWR 😉

  27. Whenever I’m having the “oh my god, this is horrible and I suck” moment on a project, I force myself to stop and think, “But if I don’t make this, who the hell else is ever going to?” The answer is usually: no one.
    You’re a fabulous storyteller. Back in the day you totally could have been a bard. No matter what you end up saying, it’ll probably come out awesome.

  28. Looking forward to PAX East even more than I already was now. Going to make the trip from Scotland all the more worthwhile.
    Will you have any books for sale this time around like you did at PAX Prime last year?

  29. Yeah. I'll have copies of Memories of the Future and Sunken Treasure. I'm working on getting copies of my other books, but they seem to keep going through the print runs before I can get them from the publisher.

  31. Congrats times a 100 to you!!! You can do it Wil! Man, I wish I could be there. I’ll be cheering you on from my boring neck of the woods none the less. The best to you. =]

  32. Yay! I’ll try to remember to bring my copy of Memories of the Future, Volume 1 for signing, then.
    I’m looking forward to the speech. This shall be my first PAX (being a Mass native and not endowed with vast sums of shiny gold rocks, I have not been able to afford the Prime shows), and I thought it was awesome when I heard you’d be giving the keynote.
    Awesome.

  33. Wil,
    The website I write for is covering PAX as a member of the press. I asked the PAX media rep about scheduling an interview with you while we’re there, and they said to contact you directly. Is there a publicist or someone we can e-mail to arrange it? 🙂
    (We just interviewed Felicia Day at Farpoint, and we’d love to chat with you as well!)
    – Kelly/alltern8.com

  35. Can you tell me where I can read your 2007 PAX prime keynote? Or listen to it? I’ve followed a few links but can’t seem to find it. I know it’s been a while.

  37. I had never seen your 2007 PAX keynote, Wil, so I just watched all of it on Google Video. Goddamn fantastic.
    Last year was my first PAX in Seattle, and I did get to see your Awesome Hour, which lived up to its billing. Since Boston is a lot closer to me than Seattle (Pittsburgh, here), I’ll also be coming to that. I’ll really be looking forward to hearing whatever you decide you have to say.
    Awesome. 😀

  38. Still kicking myself about not getting a ticket, but since I work Saturdays anyway, it would have been tough…sigh…
    I’ll live, though.
    Any word on Sunday events?
    Oh, and I believe in you.
    *claps hands really loud*

  39. I loved your 2007 Keynote speech, I identified with it so much. Even now, in my house when we play Mario Bros on Wii, I think “our princess is in another castle”, think of your speech and laugh. My family thinks I am nuts for this, by the way.
    Sadly, I live in Canada, and have a severe fear of heights so making it to see the keynote is impossible:( Good luck with this years keynote, I’m sure it will be fantastic! Even better than 2007! Hopefully I can catch it on utube.

  40. Your 2007 keynote speech marked the point at which I started regularly following your blog and seeing what you were up to, and as such I guess also directly lead to me buying your books too 🙂
    I’d occasionally looked at your blog on and off over the years but never really grokked that you really were “just a geek”. I’ve seen celebrities for years claiming to be geeks, but you were the first one I’ve come across who could walk the walk too. The opening few minutes of your ’07 keynote where you quoted game references was probably the big eye opener, the point at which I said to myself “You know what, this guy is one of us, and you can tell that he used to be really cool once.”

  41. The official PAX shirt should be …..
    “this is actually pretty cool”.
    In fact I think I may make design and get the group of us from NY to wear them to your keynote.

  43. A reading outside PAX would be, wait for it, awesome! I’ve been envious of the west-coasters who get to go to your beer & reading events. Pretty please do one in Boston?

  44. I rabbited over to the PAX site and got a Friday pass to go with my shiny Saturday pass, hooray! I’ll just have to play all my Coulton albums on a loop and keep breathing ’til March… hmmmmmm, I should probably breathe beyond March, too.

  45. So, it’s not just me but others have the same creative process. P.S. It works this way too for getting a job, getting a promotion, starting a new project work, any type of acting, asking a girl out (though you get tons of “you were not cool and I never want to see you again” with them) and many other creative oriented things.
    I feel relieved but here comes “What the Hell Have I Gotten Myself Into!”

  46. Enough teasers. I’ve figured it out.
    You’re finally going to present your PAX speech via interpretive dance and finger puppets.
    That will be cool.
    >I appear to have a class feature which gives all members of my party +5 to saying awesome.
    Being a Java programmer I immediately thought “Wow, he’s referring to an abstract base class that implements the concept of probability to say ‘awesome’.”
    Then the gamer geek in me kicked in and said “No dummy, he means ‘Character Class’ ”

  49. Wil,
    I really liked it when you said “I’ve been doing this long enough to know…” It’s very cool to see your maturation as an artist and evident growing confidence that’s come with experience. It’s been great watching, through your writings and readings of your writings, how you have grown so much more comfortable in your own skin. I can relate in numerous ways.
    I also know the feeling of being aware that the final (written) product will emerge only after inevitable stages of feeling doubtful. It’s a great feeling when one recognizes that the final version is attainable despite those low points. I’m really looking forward to hearing the address in due course… wish I could see it in person. Break a leg!

  50. damn…
    that ‘I’ve got an angle’ line sent me into geek heaven…haven’t watched Heavy Metal in years…but that sequence has always been one of my favs….always cracked me up…
    I’ll keep my eyes open for you dropping in ‘and one moving violation’ on a future blog 😉
    as always wil, reading your blog is usually a daily hilight 🙂
    thanks man
    cheers
    tyson

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