In which Wil discovers that he has Bioshock 2 Elbow.

My arms hurt so much today, I can hardly lift a cup of coffee, and I feel quite silly. This is how it happened…

I played ice hockey all through high school and into my early 20s. I loved being a goalie, and after going to lots of Kings games with Nolan in January, I decided that I was going to put on my pads and play again before the 2009 was over.

Well, due to a series of unexpected events, it didn't happen, so I pushed the goal (ha! ha!) into this year and started going to a gym three or four days a week to get back into shape. I've been doing lots of cardio conditioning for the last 6 weeks, and this last week I finally added some light weight work.

Now, I'm not talking anything serious, just some very light weight work. Like ten pounds in three twenty rep sets. Hey, stop laughing at me. I haven't lifted anything heavier than a pen in at least five years.

I deliberately started out light and easy so I wouldn't hurt myself or overdo it. It felt a little silly to be putting the three machines I used on their lightest settings, but I got over that pretty quickly … especially when doing my third set of incline presses was rather difficult.

This was two days ago, and even though my arms ached a little bit and felt a little heavy all day yesterday, I was glad for it. It made me feel like I was leveling a little bit, and gaining muscle XP (yes, there is nothing in the world that I can't view in gaming terms).

So yesterday, I got Bioshock 2. Anne was out all evening, so I settled in for a return trip to Rapture. Just like the first time I played Bioshock, I didn't open the manual or learn anything about the game; I just started playing and let the world and the story unfold while I was playing. I won't spoil it for anyone, but the first 60 minutes or so of the game was more exciting and compelling than any blockbuster movie I've seen in recent memory.

Here's a quick spoiler-free mini-review of Bioshock 2, based on my 7(ish) hours of gameplay: I really like it. I loved Bioshock because of the story and the world, and Bioshock 2 had some very big (daddy) shoes to fill. The story is still unfolding, but so far, it's very compelling. And Rapture … well, things have really gone downhill since the last time I was in Rapture. So I can't say definitively that it's the best thing ever because I haven't played it all the way through, but it's not every day that I pick up a sequel to a game I loved and play it for seven hours straight without complaint.

I took a brief break to eat dinner and watch the Kings (8-1-1 in their last 10) make the Oilers (3-7-0 in their last 10) look like the 1981 Islanders. It's like the Kings decided that the Oilers, being the worst team in the NHL this year, would be a cakewalk, so they didn't need to, you know, show up to play. I gave up after two incredibly frustrating periods and went back under the sea. (Kings eventually lost in a shootout after coming back to tie it while I was fighting with [SPOILER] in [SPOILER] and holy shit [SPOILER] was [SPOILER]!)

"Man, I could keep playing this all night," I thought. "I could take the day off tomorrow, too. I could totally sleep in tomorrow and nobody would care."

"Are you fucking serious?" My dad voice said. "Anne's off work tomorrow. You're planning to clean the house together, get started on the taxes, and work on your PAX East keynote. How the hell are you going to do that if you sleep all day?"

"But … Rapture!" It was the best I could do, on account of I was trying not to let [SPOILER] kill me at the time.

"Hey! I'm talking to you. Pause the game," My dad voice said.

"Sorry."

"You need to act your age, be responsible, and go to sleep. Bioshock isn't going anywhere."

I mumbled something under my breath.

"Excuse me?"

"I said 'okay,'" I lied.

"That's what I thought you said. Now save the game and go to sleep."

"Oh, I have to, uh, get to a save point," I said.

"Nice try, mister, but I've played this too, remember? You can save and exit whenever you want."

I mumbled something different under my breath. Ten minutes later I was in bed.

When I woke up this morning, I tried to lift myself out of bed with my right arm, like I do every day, and I couldn't do it. I had to roll over to my left, all the way across the bed, and hop out on Anne's side (which, to be honest, was kind of cool and ninja in retrospect).

I initially thought that the pain was due to exercising my arms for the first time in years, but the more I thought about it, the more I noticed that the pain was localized just above my right elbow, while my left arm really didn't hurt that much. I replayed yesterday's marathon Bioshock 2 session in my head, and realized that I'd been so into the game, I was fiercely gripping the controller the entire time I played it, engaging all of those muscles that had, just 24 hours earlier, been subjected to ten pounds of weightlifting horror.

Feeling very stupid, and hoping that my dad voice wouldn't find out, I walked into the kitchen and yelped when I tried to make myself a cup of coffee.

"What's wrong?" Anne asked.

I told her.

This is where, were our lives a movie, we'd just go to stock footage: she looks at me for a second, cocks her head to one side, starts to say something, stops, and just slowly shakes her head.

"I know, I know," I said. "Let's not tell my dad voice though, okay?"

"Your what?"

"Uh, never mind … can you help me with this coffee?"

61 thoughts on “In which Wil discovers that he has Bioshock 2 Elbow.”

  1. I’m about half way through Bioshock 2. My opinion keeps shifting from “meh” to “more time in Rapture! Huzzah!” I’m still not quite sure what I think…on the one hand, it’s been cool to learn more about the Big Daddies and the various backroom deals that went on while Rapture was still a functioning city, but on the other hand the whole thing feels unnecessary and, at times, forced. The new hacking mini-game is far and away the best change to the formula. I’ll reserve final judgement for when I finish the game, as I’ve heard the storyline kicks into overdrive in the final couple of hours, but for now I think I’m on the “why did they even make this?” side. So far, I haven’t found anything in the experience that couldn’t be done just as well in written form…which certainly can’t be said of the first game.
    http://www.livingwithanerd.com

  3. It’s OK Wil, I keep destroying my right arm with marathon sessions on Wii Sports Bowling … at least Bioshock 2 is more “manly” 😀

  4. I ended up playing through the whole game (a good 16 or 17 hours, I think) from Tuesday to Thursday, in sporadic breaks between class and WoW raids, but I got the PC version so I don’t think I can really say I got Bioshock Elbow or anything; just a sore F and QuickSave keys. The game, as pojut just mentioned, jumps through the roof in story quality once you get near the end (the last…three hours or so). I was very, very cautious about Bioshock 2 simply because of the fact that the first has such a dear place in my heart due to the overall intelligence of the story and the underlying philosophy that carried the story.
    Very glad to say that my cautious optimism paid off in the long run: The family motif (and Sophia Lamb as a character) that this game puts at its center is a bit more personal than Andrew Ryan’s objectivist ideals, and really stuck with me more. Superb game, really deserving of the Bioshock title (if you can call it that).
    In closing, Lamb is watching.

  5. Thats funny cause I was right there also with the sore arm. I finished the game this morning and well not going to spoil it for anybody its interesting and I hope you enjoy it cause if you do that all that matters

  7. I am probably halfway to two-thirds of the way through and love it. Some changes I like (remote hacking darts – yay!) others, I don’t (I miss the vending machine sounds – “Welcome to the CIRCUS of VALUUUUUUUESSS!” and I think I was the only one who enjoyed the hacking pipe game). Still, I enjoy the story and exploring new parts of Rapture. If 2K does a third game, I hope it’s set DURING the fall of the city. That would be uber-cool.

  9. I missed the vending machine noises at first, too, but then I figured that because it's ten years later, all the media that played in those machines (probably tape, right?) would have been worn out or something.

  10. Nope – its a bug – going to be fixed at some point in the future – happy to hear you are enjoying the game though 🙂

  11. Maybe gaming related injuries will one day be considered as cool as sports related injuries.
    Young Gamer: Dude, where’d you get the scar?
    Grognard: D4, man. Had a session get really heated, things were said, things were done. I don’t want to talk about it…
    YG: Wow, you are so cool!
    Anyway, Bioshock was one of my favorite games ever. I was worried about BS2, but I picked it up launch day anyway. I’m not disappointed, but I think it is more evolutionary than revolutionary. The new hacking is better, and active plasmids and weapons at the same time is a very welcome change.
    After watching some previews I was worried about the harvesting ADAM events. Protect-the-helpless-person-as-they-do-x scenarios usually suck. Not here, setting traps around your little sister then being rushed by splicers is intense, but not infuriatingly so.

  12. “Oh, I have to, uh, get to a save point,” I said.
    Holy shit — I lauged out loud at that. I can not begin even begin to count how many times I’ve used that.
    I still do.
    /one of us, one of us.

  13. Hi Wil!
    First, I have to second jolietjake75’s reply — I still use the save point excuse myself, and sometimes it’s similarly BS (i.e. a game where you can save at any time).
    Second, I’m pleased that your standard new-game practice is to jump in without the manual. I prefer this too, ever since my favorite video game experience ever: completing NES Metroid with no manual and no help from friends (and didn’t even have internet then).
    I’m not sure if I ever developed an injury from a gaming marathon, but I did manage to time-shift my sleep schedule a full 12 hours when playing NES Dragon Warrior in the dorms over winter break… and the more I read about the long-term effects of sleep deprivation, the more I think that may prove to be the biggest injury of all…
    I might try out BioShock sometime, but I don’t really need MORE time-sucking devices at this time, so right now it’s on the “someday when I’m an invalid and yet still have good vision and manual dexterity and can afford to pay rent and electricity bills even though I don’t go to work anymore” [i.e. Utopia] list, like so many DVD box sets. The universe already did me a solid by making my current PC unworthy of playing Dragon Age: Origins, though it will have to follow that up with a disheartening 2009 tax return to win the war (i.e. to prevent me from buying a new desktop).
    As usual, thanks for the continual glimpses into your life.

  14. …I decided that I was going to put on my pads and play again before the 2009 was over.
    You, sir, aren’t trying hard enough.
    Backwards to the blue line and back! Go!

  15. We used to go around the rink to one blue line, back to the red line, up to the same blue line, back to the other blue line, back to the red line, and then forward. We'd do the same thing around twice at each side, then do it all again, only going side-to-side at the lines.
    Man, I ache just thinking about it, but it sure was awesome to do that without feeling completely winded.

  16. Oh gosh… BS2 showed up at my house today, and I’ve been eying it for a few hours. I’m struggling between really wanting to get things done that I need to today, or starting to play it and ending up in an all day/night marathon play session.
    The ultimate goal is to hold off until Monday (maybe Sunday?), since I’m not sure my guy would appreciate me not even looking away from the screen when he gets home today from being gone on business for the last week. LOL!
    I can resist… I really can… I swear I can… I’m just going to open it to look at how shiny the disk is… that’s all… ah crap.

  18. PAX East keynote?! Sweet! I’ve been waiting for Gabe and Tycho to post more details about the schedule – like who’s giving the keynote(s) – and even though I’d read on the forums that you’d be there, I didn’t know you’d have such a prominent platform for your brand of awesome!
    Definitely go to Bukowski’s while you’re in Boston. It’s right around the corner from the Hynes Convention Center, and it has a sublime beer list and awesome veggie chili dogs.

  20. I always grip the controller to tight and my um mom voice (Does having a dog count??) never wins that battle and I always suffer the gaming hangover the next day… haven’t gotten BS2 yet but I will, oh yes, I will (and fight the husband for the controller too and I’ll win!)

  21. I’m having trouble with the early escort mission. Why, why, *why* in this day and age is that even in there?? I mean, I understand the whole big daddy/little sister relationship is kind of central, but… it just feels artificial (especially when you’ve already died trying a couple times) when you set the little sister down and suddenly here come a pack of splicers that weren’t around a minute ago…

  22. I think I that the splicers show up because they're crazy from the splicing, and attracted to the ADAM that she's pulling out of the corpse. That's what I've decided, anyway.

  23. Yep, I’m right there with ya on the workout boat. Kinda sucks when you look around the gym, and see all these people lifting this and that, and then you have wimpy me. Working on it though. This reminds me of that episode when Sheldon and Leonard try moving that big box of Penny’s up the stairs, and all fails. Just call me Sheldon. =]

  25. I heartily approve of referring to real life in gaming terms. I’m glad you made your wisdom check on the exercise. Sorry that you took some Con damage before rolling a successful Will save vs. Bioshock. (Hell of a DC)

  27. I don’t play Bioshock myself, but adore watching my husband play it. The graphics/storyline are KILLER. He finished BS2 the day after he got it, and is now on round 2, playing as a bad guy this time. He’s curious to see how the game plays out when he’s showing the Little Sisters no mercy.
    If Pixar would turn Bioshock into a full-length feature film, it would make me a very happy girl. Unless, you know, they ruined it.

  28. Dude. I am seriously into it as well. I am trying to figure out a day when I can hole up and play and be free of family concerns.
    I think John Locke is Delta. Oh, was that a spoiler?

  30. Unrelated to your exploits of Bioshock 2 (which I have not yet played due to a morbid addiction to – and a frightening lack of aptitude with – playing Super Mario Bros. Wii), I just wanted to say that I’m a newbie to your blog. I only recently discovered it, quite by accident. It’s genuinely engaging. Thanks for sharing your pain today; having often been unable to lift my arms to shampoo my own hair the day after a workout, I empathized.

  32. Wil,
    It is great to see that you are working out again because the body is a terrible thing to waste. Fat can lead to alot of things that can put you on the road to death. We are all going to catch that train one day but why rush to climb aboard. All that working out and you still had time for your gaming. Keep up the fun.
    FG

  33. THAT MKamper? As in Michael Kamper, audio lead @ 2K Marin? Wil, you get all the cool people on your blog… 😉
    Michael, at the risk of failing my saving throw against nerdsquee, I must tell you that the sound of a Big Daddy running at full speed still evokes terror in me, much as it did the first time I played through Bioshock. I am not ashamed to admit that my reaction when I took on my first Big Daddy, and he came flying across the room at me was some variation of “Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit…”
    Of course, it does help to have a large subwoofer, and to have the game cranked to reference levels while playing – you know, to enhance the realism! 😉

  34. I wish my wife was as understanding. Were this to happen to me, she wouldn’t be able to speak coherently on account of her laughing so hard…

  35. I think perhaps “Get to a save point” has been replaced (at least for me) with “Get somewhere where I won’t be torn to pieces when I start playing again.” A journey which, like the ancient Greek epic journies of days long ago, might take some time. I can’t just quit standing here!
    …I’ll come to bed after I’m somewhere safe, I promise…

  36. PaxEast Keynote? Did you drop this little nugget in there like that on purpose? Sly, very sly Wheaton.
    I was getting worried that PaxEast was going to be the low rent version of Pax, but they’re bringing in the big guns, so it’s definitely looking up.

  37. Eek! When I read that I said, “Zomg I haven’t bought my passes yet!” I hopped on over to the PA site and was so very sad to see that many passes are already sold out. I managed to get Friday passes, which should make for a superfun time (although I suspect I may miss the extra ultrafun going down on Saturday).
    I’m looking forward to the event! This will be my first PAX AND my first Con. I’m glad to have the PAX folks coming to see us in Boston! Woo!

  38. I am unable to play video games (I tend to end up in a corner, looking straight up), but I really like to watch them. I am especially digging Bioshock. I find that I tend to develop Bioshock Ass… where my butt tends to fall asleep while watching my boyfriend fight scary things for hours at a time.

  40. I know what that is like. Pain comes on at times when you least expect it. I could have done that game night at least twenty times in a row, twenty years ago, but now, for some reason my body is just not the same youthful vessel it once was. Welcome to 37 years old, I always say. In about a month it will be 38 years old, so that’s even more special.
    You basically failed your “Save Vs. Xbox Controller” and are now suffering 1d4 days of arm pain. Not a great way to celebrate an awesome game, but it just goes to show you that EVERYTHING in life can be applied in gaming terms…wow that’s super geeky.
    Michael “The Fish” LaMere

  42. I managed to glitch my BS2 where i had been playing for about 40 minutes from an auto save point so rather than go back and re do that all right away I tried the multiplayer and I have to say it was a lot more fun than i expected to be. With achievements tied to getting levels in that way I will probably do quite a bit of it.

  43. I get what I call Nostalgia Thumbs. See, what I did was went and bought myself a Droid Eris (suck it, iSmugs, Droid indeed Does), and loaded it up with all kinds of classic NES games. Now, touchscreen cleaning is a near-hourly ritual, and the gentle tap tap tap of my thumbs is becoming a familiar sound to friends, even over the clamor of L4D2. The best part? I actually remember how to get through the second quest of Zelda.
    Awesome ^,^

  44. Wil, i think I have you beat. I do believe that I’ve cause serious nerve damage to my thumb – it’s been numb since Thurs. How? By cutting paper hearts to decorate my anime-themed door for Valentine’s day…oh the pains we endure for our geekiness. Hope you get your arm in working order soon – lifting a couple pints or good beer should do the trick.

  45. Reminds me of the time I played Guitar Hero so much I ended up with a left hand like ‘the monkey’s paw’ from gripping the neck of the controller.

  47. Hey Wil,
    G4C3 here from The Mad Titans, I wanted to thank you for playing a song of ours on your Podcast a few weeks back, that was completely unexpected! I wasn’t sure of a different way to contact you other than to sign up here…but I wanted to give you our email address.. [email protected] We have our CD release soon and thought you might enjoy a copy on us 🙂
    Waiting for our chance to play BS2,
    The Mad Titans

  48. As a PC gamer mostly, my usual injury is the dreaded “Half-Life Neck” which is caused by leaning forward towards the screen with bad posture for hours on end. Which is often exacerbated, these days, with “F.E.A.R. Whiplash,” caused by screaming and recoiling from my leaning-forward position when something horrible leaps at me from the shadows.

  50. Hey Wil,
    I get DS elbow. After about and hour or so, regardless of what I’m playing, my elbows hurt like mad! It’s from having to hold the thing at a certain distance from my face in order to see the screen clearly. My boyfriend’s elbows only take 45 minutes to seize up. It’s a DS thing, not and eyesight thing.

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