In which I finally finish writing my PAX East keynote

The last two months have featured sleepless nights, 10-hour work days, and constant battles with the voices of Self Doubt, You Suck, Why Did You Agree To Do This, You're Boring me Zoidberg, and They're All Going To Laugh At You.

But a little earlier, when I finally got to turn this:

PAX_East__first_draft
 

into this:

PAX_East_final_draft
 

I could tell all those voices to shut the hell up.

I know that this speech is going to be compared to the one I gave in 2007, and quite frankly, that scares the hell out of me. My 2007 keynote was probably the best speech I've ever written or delivered, and I don't think it can be equalled, much less topped, by anything I'm capable of writing at this moment in time. But things are different in 2010 than they were in 2007, so this is a different speech with different goals. I'm way too close to it right now to be objective, but given a chance to stand on its own, I think it's got some entertaining and inspiring stuff in it. I'm really excited to deliver it on Friday.

…

*blink*

*blink*

Holy fuck. I'm delivering this speech on Friday. Well, shit, now I'm terrified again.

(I'm sure people will ask, so: the "WW_AH_WW…" on the title is how Andrew and I track our revisions on each draft. As you can see, we spent a lot of time perfecting the first draft of this one.)

69 thoughts on “In which I finally finish writing my PAX East keynote”

  1. Is there plans on recording this on something better than someone’s shaky iPhone? Maybe making it available on PA’s site with a spiffy link from here?
    Oh, and when you decide to do the Florida PAX-SUN, I’d shoot it in HD for free. 😀

  4. Congrats Wil! I really wish I’d found out you were going to be giving the keynote before I decided that I couldn’t afford the trip to Boston. I still wouldn’t have been able to afford it but who needs new shoes?

  5. Ahhh I’m so excited! In all my years I’ve never been to a con of any kind… Mainly due to my living in New England and the best ones being on the west coast.
    What better way to start it off than with Wil freakin Wheaton doing the keynote?

  6. And we don’t even get to read it?! =P
    Wouldn’t “filename_WW-x_AH-y_Rev-z”, where x is the number of Wil revisions, y is the number of Andrew revisions, and z=x+y keep the filename smaller and more legible? 🙂

  7. Yes!!!! Please!!
    So good to hear that you’ve got that beast finished. I’m sure, being you, you’ll still be ‘tweaking’ it until you actually give it, but it’s done 😀 Even though it’s a speech, you’ll turn it into a performance I’m sure and I’m sad I’ll miss it. A purely audio version won’t be nearly as good, but better than nothing.

  9. Ok, Evil Wil, You’re awesome, and geeky and all, but why on Earth are you still e-mailing documents? Just use google docs, man. You will love me for saying this, but maybe not right away. USE GOOGLE DOCS!

    If you refuse, you will suffer a -20 modifier to your geekness rating. The only way you could recover is by rolling a natural 20, and I scratched it off all your dice.

  11. Funny enough, the last PAX I was at was 2007. Yes, you were amazing during your keynote, but I have no doubt that you will be equally amazing this year. I can’t wait 🙂 <3

  12. Every day I was in chemo, I swore I would some day make it to PAX. I made it one of my goals, to keep moving forward from day to day. When they announced that there was going to be an East coast version of PAX this year, I was thrilled! (I live in Pennsylvania) When it was further revealed that you would be delivering the keynote address, it was like a perfect storm of awesomeness. 🙂 I can’t wait for Thursday (like a lot of folks, I’m getting there a day early) and I’m looking forward to your keynote and hopefully getting to meet you!

  15. Congratulations! What a relief it must have been to finish the writing…short lived relief, but relief nonetheless. I’m assuming that PATV will be there in strength and that they’ll record the whole of your keynote for us noobs who can’t come to PAX. I look forward to seeing it.
    Any chance of putting it up on this very blog to be read after PAX?
    As far as not being able to top the 2007 speech, well, I wonder about that. Not only is this a different world but you’re a different, more experienced writer.Combine that with a good editor and I can’t imagine that it won’t be better, in fact, I’m fairly certain that it will be thought of as the best yet…until your next one. Let us know.

  16. Wil, I wish you the best of luck in the world. You will do great…..as always. I really wish I could be there, but I’ll be cheering you on none the less. Have a great time. =]

  18. Sure, just randomly trust your work content to “do no evil” Google? Given a geeks tendancy towards paranoia, particularly where corporations and government are concerned, NOT hosting your docs with Google is surely a +20 modifier for geekness rating.
    Each time you surrender control to third parties you lose just that tiny bit more direct control, and security.

  21. I am beyond excited about this! I am trying not to go crazy waiting for the day to come, but that is hard. As this being my second ever gaming convention (Strategicon/Orccon being my first one) and my first time ever at PAX, I will do everything in my power to see your keynote.
    If you get a chance (and it might be possible) stop by Paul and Storms booth. I’ll be helping them out all weekend. Another thing I jumped at the chance to do was help staff their booth.
    I will be bringing my ‘Think Geek’ this time to hopefully get signed. I have a great but sad story on why I didn’t have it at w00tstock v. 1.1 at the Largo. So my hope is to get it signed and a not so ‘look I’m not noticing that we’re taking a picture right now’ photo.
    Again I can’t wait to hear/see your keynote. You will do an amazing job, just as you always do.

  22. From the PAX website:
    “Best known for his role as Wesley Crusher on Star Trek The Next Generation and Gordie in Stand by Me, Wil Wheaton has since become one of the most prominent and vocal bloggers of our culture with topics ranging from his personal growth as a geek, to Star Trek, to naturally gaming. We are super excited to have Wil present the very first PAX East keynote. It’s going to be awesome.”
    No pressure!

  23. Hooray! I’m happy for you and for me ’cause I’m going to be at PAX East to hear it! Can’t wait.

  24. Well the most important thing is that you’re done writing it, right? Just tell the voices of Self Doubt that if they don’t stop fucking with you, you’re going to kick them in the nads. And with all of my bitching and moaning about how you never come to the East Coast, I’m like literally pissed off that I’m not going to be able to attend due to monetary reasons/lack of transportation & a shitload of other reasons. Annoying Chick from Phillyâ„¢ literally harassed the everloving shit out of you for how long to come over to the Dark Side and then the bitch doesn’t even have the decency to show up! See, there’s an upside to this for you, already! Glad to help you out in any way that I can, man, even if that means I won‘t get to be there =[
    You’ll do FINE. Chill out, drink a couple of beers and drown the shit out of the voices of Self Doubt. Next thing you know, the Liquid Courage Brigade will show up, and they’ll be singing quite a different tune. They’ll turn you into “Wil Wheaton: Golden God of All Geeks of the Universe!” instead of just the Secretary of Geek Affairs. And since you’re always talking about getting excited and doing things, how about trying it in the reverse? You did something – finished your Keynote. Now it’s time to get EXCITED! See how easy that was? Get ready to throw a Sexy Party, Wil, you’ve earned it!

  26. So, uhm. I’ve been unemployed, living from pitifully paid freelance job to freelance job for the last couple years. I’m going to PAX because the Compleat Strategist people needed someone to demonstrate Looney Labs Games, and I did publicity for the Looneys a few years ago and have done a few trade shows *including* ones where I demoed games, so I know what they need done.
    But it means that I’m going to be on the trade show floor during all the interesting things you’re doing.
    But if you check out the dealers, and you go by the Compleat Strategist, I’d totally love to play Fluxx with you. Or some Icehouse stuff. Or you know, just say hi. You absolutely don’t need to hunt me down, but if you’re passing that booth, I’m the tabby haired fat girl doing demos (and tell JoCo that Stephanie who organized his concert at Pandemonium is working the Strategist and would love to say hi).
    (so weird to be doing a trade show for them. Hadn’t heard of them in YEARS but I remember them from cheap 1/8th page ads set in courier font in the back of Dragon Magazine in 1983.)

  27. Wil, you are an amazing writer and public speaker. With regards to the “comparison” concern, I think you just need to remember that this is a completely different beast. You are opening up a brand new convention and expo, not just another year of the same. Trust in your skill and remember, one bad speech is not going to ruin your life. Your fans are not fairweather, nor will they say “Oh he sucked at this one speech, let’s all hate him now.”
    You have our support in spirit and in person, and we believe in you.

  30. You’ve made me very happy for the little bit I contributed to the keynote, and that you’ll be there to hear it. Thanks for sharing; it really means a lot.

  32. Wil, I think you need a new voice on your staff. I suggest a large, muscular, Italian-American named “I’m Wil-FRAKKIN-Wheaton and DON’T you forget it!” to act as a bouncer and through out that punk ass bitch Voice of Self Doubt and all his douchebag friends.
    Congrats on finishing, wish I could be there to watch you perform it.

  33. so, just so I’m clear, will you be reading this tome at PAX or will it be memorized? I don’t know how these things work and want to be as supportive as possible for something.

  35. I say get the whole audience puking like Gordy did in the pie story – that would be memorable! I’ll be watching the rebroadcast on Youtube. 🙂
    Break a leg!

  40. I’m so glad to see you taking such care and thought into this…I am attending a conference today (#TxDLA), and the opening keynote, Stephen Covey (http://tinyurl.com/yhznaoe) was horrible. Not just boring horrible…but reallllllly bad. He clearly did not put much forethought or practice into his keynote. I hope that you do an awesome job, you’ve definitely put in the effort!!!

  43. Well, I will be performing in the local production of The Mikado during the PAX East weekend. But, I have friends who are going. I’m sure you will be awesome! Maybe sometime soon there will be a w00tstock! in/near Pittsburgh.

  45. Congrats, I wish I had a prayer of making it to PAX (or any geek-related event for that matter)… alas, i’ll wait for the video.
    But to the meat of my post:
    Bean ? You use *Bean* to write with? SO DO I! OMG! 😉
    Awesome open-source software – just one more sign we’re living In The Future.

  48. I’m really sad that I’m not going to make it to PAX. We’ve planned it for months but just last week my fiance canceled our trip… If I had my way, we’d still be going, but, we already sold our passes and have been removed from the Enforcer’s list. *goes to cry & hopes for a video, a good one, of the keynote*

  49. Ha. I’ve been refering to you as Minister of Geek Affairs to my non-geek friends all this time. My bad. Have a good keynote Mr. Secretary.

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