WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

It’s like there’s a monkey on my back. A gaming monkey, and he’s rattling dice in my ear.

  • From The Vault

One more From The Vault, because I'd completely forgotten about it, and it made me laugh out loud when I read it.

While Anne and I drove down the freeway today, Just Like Heaven came on the radio.

"This was my first CD," I said.

"I know," she said. "You tell me that every time we hear a song from it."

"And one day, you'll hear it, and I won't be here for some reason or another, and you'll wish I was here to tell you."

While we both pondered the macabre nature of that particular thought,
I realized that not only was this album forever linked to my first CD
player, but it also gave me hypernostalgic memories of gaming with my
group of friends in high school.

"I don't know what it is," I said, "but lately, I've wanted to get
together with geeks and do a weekend of serious nonstop gaming."

She glanced over at me. "Oh?"

"Yeah. But this is more than the usual 'I want to play Car Wars'
thing. This is a serious –" I searched for the exact word to describe
the overwhelming longing, approaching psychophysical need to play, and settled on, "Jones. Like an addict, you know?"

I wiggled around in my seat, and faced her, "It's like there's — hey, aren't we taking the 110?"

"Whoops." She said, as she quickly changed lanes.

"It's like there's a monkey on my back. A gaming monkey, and he's rattling dice in my ear."

"Like he's shaking them in a Yahtzee cup?" She said.

"Gamers don't use Yahtzee cups," I said, as patiently as I could.
"It's more like he's holding a bag of dice in his hand." I held my hand
up, and felt the invisible bag in my palm. "And he's rattling the dice
around."

"Is it your bag of dice?" she said.

"Yeah! It's totally my bag of dice!" I paused for a moment, and
added, "but he's not opening it. Because if he opens it, and touches my
dice, I will fucking kill that monkey."

This is totally going into the gaming chapbook for GenCon.

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2 August, 2010 Wil

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Game on: GenCon info, chapbooks, and dice. Lots and lots of dice. → ← From the Vault: there is more than one thing that makes us who we are

32 thoughts on “It’s like there’s a monkey on my back. A gaming monkey, and he’s rattling dice in my ear.”

  1. Scott Lowry says:
    2 August, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Wil,
    How could I get in touch with you to maybe setup an interview? I work with Subspace Radio, an online radio station dedicated to Star Trek Online and we would love to do an interview with you.
    If you can contact me so we might could work something out I would greatly appreciate it.
    Hope to hear back from you.
    Scott Lowry

  2. Wannabeelf says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    OMG! It’s so fucking true! I want to game! But if that monkey touches my dice I will kill him.

  3. Paul Nandzik says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    I know it’s an addiction, but dag nabbit, that monkey loves you! He (she?) just knows that gamers need to game. So hands off the monkey, mister! People are watching!

  4. Vashjinn says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    I was looking through my dice bag the other day. Weirdest place to find money … I had a half dollar in there. I miss my lovely purple/black/gold set … anyone fancy some D & D?!? 🙂
    And I *love* Just Like Heaven 🙂

  5. Halforc80 says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    That feeling is so true! I get that every now again, but this time I’ve given in and found myself a gaming group. Damn you, Gaming Monkey! *Shakes fist* 😀

  6. Justin Glenn says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    And sometimes, you have to make an example out of one die to get the others playing nice, but ya no one touches any of the dice.

  7. Android_Dreaming says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Luckily I’ll get the chance to soothe mine as well at this years Gen Con. Can’t wait!

  8. Danicia says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    I am so excited for GenCon this year. I’m not working and can just spend as much time as I want talking to gamers, playing new games, meeting friends old and new.
    We plan on spending a massive ton of time at Scotty’s Brewhouse due to their awesome menus, scheduled gaming and open gaming tables. PLUS COLLECTIBLE DICE. http://www.scottysbrewhouse.com/brewhouse-xtras/gen-con-2010
    Hey Wil! Did you pick a day/time for a t-shirt meetup/photo op? I want to make sure I don’t miss that, even if I can’t get a seat in your panel. Actually, since I’ve seen you a couple of times, I’d rather have someone new take my spot and share the love. Still, don’t want to miss zee photo op!

  9. JustHeidiLynn says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    “And one day, you’ll hear it, and I won’t be here for some reason or another, and you’ll wish I was here to tell you.”

    Not to be a downer, but I just want to offer the sincere hope that neither of you learn how true this is for a very, very long time.

    I was exactly your age when my lovely geek of a husband was killed in an accident on his way to work, not even a month past his 34th birthday. Nearly six years later I’m still filling in those little bits of conversation, and I think I always will.

  10. Ringsnake says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Come to the Paint and Take booth in the Miniature Events area and we’ll add another monkey to keep the first one company. You get a mini to paint, and it won’t cost you anything, because the first hit is free!

  11. Paigew says:
    2 August, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Since you mentioned Car Wars… Whenever I have a jones for death, speed and molten twisted metal, I fire up Dark Wind.
    http://www.dark-wind.com/
    It’s turn based, pretty easy to pick up and a lot like car wars. Only real dislike is that they send you email that “Your gang is starving…” if you don’t play often, so use a disposable email address.

  12. kaellinn18 says:
    2 August, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    T-shirt idea: “I touched your dice.” Run with it.

  13. Phil73805 says:
    2 August, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    A monkey couldn’t make the dice more unlucky than they already are. In which case they can only get better. Monkey boy, touch away 🙂

  14. GWJRabbit says:
    2 August, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    If you can get the rights back to the Dragon magazine back page you did about the time your son grabbed your dice bag, that would be perfect. It was the first time I’d read anything of yours, and it totally grabbed me.
    Julian

  15. Joe Compton says:
    2 August, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    Any chance you MIGHT make it to DragonCon this year? As a fellow non-repentant geek, I have been hoping to see the guy who inspired me to not give up the geekiness when I became a soldier, but rather temper it with *gasp* real life. Many years and combat tours later, it’s a minor hero-idol story, and I’d like to shake your hand.

  16. justme says:
    2 August, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Is this the origin story for the monkey you take to poker games?

  17. Rayzilla69 says:
    2 August, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Wil, will these be available at PAX? Or are you doing something else? Thanks.

  18. Pkinyon says:
    2 August, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    Where will you be selling the chapbooks at? I want to make sure to grab one before they are all gone. Also, any word on t-shirt meet ups? I am flying out on a red eye tomorrow night and want to make sure I add them in to my schedule. Thanks man! See you at GenCon!

  19. Wil says:
    2 August, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    Chapbooks will be at my table, wherever I'm signing stuff. The T-shirt meetup will happen on Friday, right before or right after my talk.

  20. Danicia says:
    2 August, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    *take notes* Now I know what shirt to wear on Friday. 🙂

  21. Jllaunt says:
    3 August, 2010 at 3:03 am

    My husband will be at GenCon working for the Cheese Weasel “ConQuest”. I know you probably won’t be able to do a convention-wide scavenger hunt, but if you get bored it is a lot of fun, and the prizes are redonkulus. I hope you have fun, and manage to get that gaming monkey off your back without the almost-inevitable death.

  22. Christopher Arthur says:
    3 August, 2010 at 6:04 am

    This was a pretty good post in the beginning, but the final line shot it into the stratosphere of pure win!

  23. Timgray1 says:
    3 August, 2010 at 6:27 am

    I am so with you there… I was digging through the basement and came across my box of “obscure RPG” games and my binder full of Morrow Project resources popped out. I made the mistake of opening it..
    Now I am trying to convince 6 friends to play an evening of Post WW-III wasteland roaming with guns game.. It’s nice to change from swinging a sword at orcs to laying down suppression fire with an M60 from time to time…

  24. Gandhi aus Deutschland says:
    3 August, 2010 at 6:46 am

    My personal Monkey isn’t a Gamer, but a musician..
    It hurts sometimes, to feel my own drumsticks played on my head and not been able to play with the band, cause our guitarrplayer is in jail….
    Oh…. please excuse my broken english, but I’m german …

  25. Chuck Bryant says:
    3 August, 2010 at 7:21 am

    Hey there, Wil – Chuck here from “Stuff You Should Know.” Can you hit us up with an email when you get a chance? We have a fun opportunity for you we’d love to chat about.
    [email protected]
    Thanks, man!

  26. Roy McMillion says:
    3 August, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Just so you know, the “Wil Wheaton” dice we got for playing your delv at ECCC are my Go To d20s.
    When I NEED a good roll, I choose Will Wheaton.
    That doesn’t sound creepy at all….

  27. Chris Cowan says:
    3 August, 2010 at 9:00 am

    I remember laughing out loud the first time I read this post. It happened again this time too.

  28. karohemd says:
    3 August, 2010 at 10:54 am

    Excellent. Have fun at GenCon!
    I just watched the latest episode of The Guild and Fawkes’ “Journaling” bit cracked me up (I won’t mention specifics as there might be people here who haven’t seen it).
    Who came up with the idea of the prop? Felicia?
    Also, I have an admission to make, I do use a leather dice cup. It’s useful, especially in cramped conditions when you have to make sure your dice don’t touch the other players’, which is important.

  29. Nojopar says:
    3 August, 2010 at 11:59 am

    I’d totally buy that shirt – “Gamer Monkey – ‘I’m in your bag, touching your dice!'”

  30. ozrot12 says:
    4 August, 2010 at 2:34 am

    I was very pleased to find this site.I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
    עוזרת בית.

  31. Akemigfc says:
    10 August, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    this is exactly how I was feeling recently, so I decided to run a game since none of my friends were.

  32. Bokrug says:
    17 August, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I haven’t had a steady gaming group for about three years now. And the monkey is not happy. Very, very not happy.
    I fear for my dice.

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