precious and fragile things

I'm sitting in my apartment in Vancouver, finishing my coffee and oatmeal. My iPod is shuffling through a massive 80s alternative playlist I made before I came up here, so I've been accompanied by Elvis Costello, The Smiths, Souxie, Depeche Mode, The Jam, and Bauhaus while I start my day. I'm not going to the set until at least 4:30 today, so I stayed up late last night after work playing Civ V, while Chilean miners were pulled to safety on BBC in the background. Seriously, guys, the engineers who made that possible are some of the most amazing people on planet earth. I hope they get the credit they deserve for saving all those lives and reuniting all those families.

I got tired of Queen Elizabeth fucking with me (I may be militarily inferior now, Mum, but you just wait until my science gets going, and then you'll be sorry! Muwahahaha!!) so I went to bed around 1230, and slept until I woke up 11 hours later — I guess my body was completely wiped out after a loooooong day on the set. I've been in slow motion today, catching up on feeds and trying to motivate myself to write, without a lot of success.

Once, not very long ago, I wrote in my blog every day, no matter what. Since I started working full time on Eureka, though, I haven't had a lot of extra creative energy when I'm done filming. The list of stories I want to write is growing, and my notebook is filling up with one line ideas that I hope to tackle in November and beyond, but my immediate motivation just isn't there; I need time to recharge, I guess.

There's a lot of really cool stuff happening on the set every day, but we can't talk about any of it, because it's all spoilers for episodes that aren't even going to air until something like January at the earliest. Normally, I'd get home from work and fire off a quick 500 words about something awesome that happened on the set that day, but if I did that now, it would look something like this:

Today, I shot a scene in [REDACTED] with [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] where we [REDACTED]! Oh man, [REDACTED] was so awesome because [REDACTED]. Tomorrow, we're going to shoot [REDACTED], so we rehearsed that between [REDACTED] and [REDACTED], and I just can't wait for it.

So, as you can see, it's just not that interesting. I suppose I could write those posts and publish them in a few months, but that doesn't really appeal to me. It feels even more like writing into a black hole than usual.

Hey, speaking of publishing into a black hole, did you know I did a new Radio Free Burrito? Episode 29 features a performance of my story in Clash of the Geeks.

Speaking of Clash of the Geeks, writing that story, even though it was just under 3000 words and is very silly, was a pretty major milestone in my life as a writer. See, I've written lots and lots of fiction, but I haven't felt like a lot of it is worthy of being published. (Note to writers: this fear — because that's what it is — doesn't serve any useful purpose other than pushing you to write better … unless you keep setting the bar higher and higher so you don't risk rejection or embarrassment. I'm Wil, and I'm the Voice of Experience.) I knew that I had to publish The Last Unicorn (Pegasus Kitten) no matter what, so I decided to just write it, have as much fun as I could, and not judge every goddamn word that my brain spit out. I decided that it was okay to be lurid, it was okay to have fun with it, and I only stopped once to think about the reality of my story appearing alongside actual, professional, award-winning authors. The result of that was an experience I enjoyed, start to finish, and a story that I'm actually quite proud of. Those of you who have read it can probably pick out the one line of dialog that made me squee with joy when I saw it coming, a line I would probably not have given myself permission to write under normal circumstances.

So far, the feedback I've gotten from readers and writers has been enthusiastic and positive, so I've been able to stack that on top of the unadulterated joy I felt while writing it to almost get me over the wall of doubt that my internal critic has constructed between me and the next story.

tl;dr: You don't have to be perfect when you write stories. Just have fun and give yourself permission to enjoy the process. Also, release your frakking work, even if you don't think it's the best thing ever. I'm Wil, The Voice of Experience.

Huh. Look at that. I found something to write about today, after all. Not too shabby, since this initially started out as the dreaded blog about not blogging.

 

59 thoughts on “precious and fragile things”

  1. I’ll say it again, that story was all kinds of wonderful. And once again, thank you for your part in raising Lupus awareness.
    Between you, John and Stephen Fry, it has been a really good month for Lupus, especially considering it is World Lupus Awareness Month.
    You’re a good man, Wil.

  2. I’ll finish reading the rest of your blog in a minute. First I have to say: you play Civ too?!! That’s my one and only gaming addiction ever since a fellow student at university introduced me to it in 1992 or ’93. That was Civ I. Oh, what fun we had..!!

  3. The dread blog about not blogging, hope I never feel the pressure to write one. The “must blog daily” edict (who decided that anyway?) limits creativity if you force it. Giving myself permission to enjoy my slackness, blog whenever and whatever I enjoy, thanks.

  4. Speaking of writing, next month (November) is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) where many people will attempt to crank out 50,000 words in one month.

  5. While it *can* limit creativity, it also keeps you in shape, like getting outside and jogging every day, whether you want to or not.

  6. Be it true or false, the one notion about writing I’ve gained over the years is that if you can’t be inspired by what you’re writing, it seems silly to expect others to be inspired by it. I rather think blogging is much the same.
    Of course, I could be wrong. It happens from time to time.
    On that note, I’m going to go back to watching Glee and intermittently working on my newest novel.

  7. NaNoWriMo is simultaneously the best and the most terrifying thing as a writer. Can’t stop to second-guess yourself, just have to write and keep writing. I love it and hope I can turn this year’s effort into a published work.

  8. I cannot blog every day. If I did, it would drain me of whatever “creativity” I think I have. I mean, I guess if my posts were only 100 words I could. But my last one, which was supposed to be “short” ended up taking me two hours, countless drafts and over three thousand words. What is wrong with me Will Wheaton? (And of course I need to say that like Stewie Griffin.)

  10. I've been in most of the episodes in the back 10 of season four, so I've been up here for most of the last two months. I guess I'm officially a recurring regular on Eureka, now.

  11. Sid Meier’s pre-Civ game Colonization is my favorite video game of all time. So glad it was invented before DRM so I can pull the old DOS bastard out and play it every couple of years.
    Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talk on finding your genius was a true breakthrough in my approach to my (not) writing. Now I always look forward to writing, even when that terribly blank screen mocks me. I wrote a post on this (the TED talk is there too). Hope it helps someone. =)

  12. Thank you for properly recognizing the ENGINEERS as the people who saved those miners. And, with the hope of not turning this political, it was also the ENGINEERS who stopped the Gulf oil spill. And, I may add, they did it VERY QUICKLY once the government and management got out of the way and let them do their job. Some day, I pray, engineers (who are some of the biggest geeks around) will finally get recognized for their successes and not just blamed for others mistakes.

  13. Oh man! You’re working with [REDACTED]?! I LOVED him/her in [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] – although I was a little disillusioned with [REDACTED] and didn’t think it deserved all the award buzz.

  14. There’s a well known author. He has written many books, some of which I have enjoyed immensely. He adapted one of his novels to a podcast, and it was *awful*. I couldn’t finish it. So often I was sitting there thinking (once or twice yelling) “You’re the author and chose to read it like THAT?!?” UPK was the complete opposite of that. You played it up so much that any more would have been a farce, and your rhythm/pace was fantastic. I hope you have a chance to rent your voice to some projects down the line. 🙂

  16. I’ve been blogging every day ever since I moved to Cairo to study abroad (www.indie-nile.blogspot.com). It’s been an amazing experience, and I love knowing that what I write is getting put out there, even if only one person ever reads it. I’m getting a little nervous about NaNoWriMo coming up, though, since my days are busy enough already without making time to write 1,667 extra words!
    I’ll make it work though, since both NaNo and blogging are important to me, and I don’t want to give either of them up. And if it gets too tough, I can just remember Wil, the Voice of Experience. :]

  19. I totally understand the fear of “unworthy” writing and the accompanying feelings (real or imagined) of rejection. That’s why I publish on a blog, instead of in print. Thank you, Voice of Experience, for reminding me that I’m not the only one who wonders if my writing is “good enough” and also that what really matters is that *I* enjoy it. 🙂

  20. I love NaNoWriMo – I’m still not done editing 2009’s win, but I wrote a book nonetheless.
    I think that’s the best advice – just write.
    It doesn’t have to perfect.

  21. Now, see, I think a blog post with “REDACTED” all over it might be fun. It’d be “Wil’s Mad Libs! – Eureka Edition”.
    Ok, maybe I’m the only one who thinks that could be funny 😉

  22. Hey, know what you could write? Memories of the Future, vol. 2. I know you’re busy with the TV and the w00tstock and the internets and stuff, but vol. 1 is my very favorite thing you’ve done and I can’t wait* for more.
    *obviously I can wait, having waited this long… but I don’t want to.

  24. I am a huge lurker and I thought I would come out of my creepy lurking closet to tell you how much I really enjoy your blog. It is great to hear that you have found some fulfilling work which I can’t wait to see in January! Take your time, refill those creative juices, and your avid readers will wait for to share your work with you.
    Cheers!

  25. Episodic television to Wil: “Welcome back, young Wheaton. I have been expecting you. I look forward to completing your training. In time, you will call me Master…”

  26. Hey Wil,
    If you’re lurking around and got a spare 10 minutes to spare, have you seen JourneyQuest yet? It’s a relatively new (4 webisodes young and starting to get its feet) webseries set around an adventuring group, from the creators of “The Gamers” and “The Gamers: Dorkness Rising”
    http://www.journey-quest.com/

  28. Wil, I am so happy for you. You really deserve all of this. The world needs to see more of you on tv. …and I love your playlist. Love all those bands…especially The Banshees. Have a safe and wonderful trip. 🙂

  30. “Not too shabby, since this initially started out as the dreaded blog about not blogging”
    Man, I HATE when that happens…whether it’s writer’s stupidity, can’t think of a topic, or whatever causes it, those are the kind of posts that make me feel like an ass the whole time I write one.
    That being said, it does kind of suck that you don’t have the creative juices needed to act full time for Eureka AND write up a blog post every day…but come on! You get to act full time! FOR EUREKA! Can’t wait to see it 🙂
    http://www.livingwithanerd.com

  31. You know, it would be awesome to release some of those Eureka blogs as a fill-in-the-blanks blog post. I’m sure we readers could come up with some wacky hijinks for your days on set 🙂
    G!

  33. Note: I’m trying to give this a serious critique here knowing that the story was just for fun. Hope you take it in the spirit it’s given in.
    I listened to your RFB ‘cast a couple weeks ago. At times I could swear I heard you laughing while you read your story. At other times I felt like it was simply a run of the mill fantasy story that didn’t know it was a cliché. But I knew at the same time it was intentionally a cliché which sort of made it odd. You acted it so seriously that it rather lost some of the humor it had in my own mind while other times, namely every time you mentioned the dreaded UPKs, it was very enjoyable.
    Overall, it was enjoyable and I had fun listening but I felt there was this divide between the seriousness it had and the humorousness it had that kept it from gelling as a whole for me. I guess I just wanted Retief to appear and point up the absurdity of the whole thing a little more pointedly.

  34. Not only the engineers, Whil, but the leader of the group that held them together below. That took some serious skills to maintain morale and concentration the goal of getting home. Had there not been a good leader in the hole with them, chances are it would have been like its own Lord of the Flies.

  35. I’m a newcomer here and I will admit that a lot of stuff goes over my head due to my low geek level, but I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts. And I’ll be honest that I haven’t purchased any of your books yet and probably will never make it to a Con or to see w00tstock, but as someone who only knew about you from your film career it’s been fun and interesting to learn about your writing.
    I dabble in it a bit myself and went so far as to self publish a book of fiction once…which besides my friends and family, I sold a grand total of 1 copy to complete stranger(s). Looking back at it now some years later I get red faced and embarrassed…what was I thinking for not only writing but actually putting such crap into print? But then I say hey, at least I tried and look at the good things I learned such as how to get ISBN blocks and typesetting.
    I have a non fiction title in the works that I’ve spent years doing market research on that I think will be a good seller, but I’m definitely staying far away from fiction (at least for the time being);)

  36. Yay! A new RFB; thank you! I have to let you know, I now sing “Radio Free Burrito” when I play “Radio Free Europe” in Rock Band. I hope this makes you happy.

  37. Wil,
    I will never understand how you get the energy to write while you are shooting. This is a very good entry for your current employment status. When you have more free time, you may write another good book. Keep up the great work.
    FG

  38. Hey Wil, I apologize if I sound like an advertiser but there is a web series called Journey Quest

    that is attempting to raise funds for its second season. I just wanted to pass this series along to you in case you wished to, to quote you, use your very large mouth to spread the word of this series from the creators of The Gamers and Gamers Dorkness Rising.
    Keep being awesome Wil!

  39. Wil, thanks for being so talented and scoring a guest gig on Eureka. I had ignored it for some reason. However, when you announced your guest gig, I started watching on NetFlix. I’m 1/2 way through S2 and can not believe I missed this! Loving it. I can’t wait until your episodes come up later. What a great show!

  43. This post is for you
    1) You made me think about Halloween Haunt at Knott’s Berry Farm. I havent been since 2002 but only missed twice between 1980 and 2001. Are you going this year?
    2) I am hoping you are posting about poker some time this year. Don’t you have friends that play at the WSOP?
    3) Was at the bank today and Rick Astley came on the loud speaker. Told them about Rick Rolling and even made them pull up the topic on Wikipedia.
    That’s three extra credit points for you.

  44. Hi Wil, (it’s kind of weird calling you by your first name after all those years growing up watching Star Trek.)
    I just wanted to say thank you for speaking up for so many different and good things, your help in the fight against Lupus being the most important. My aunt is ill with a severe case of this dreadful disease and I know how much suffering there’s to it and for the families of these women.
    Fabio.
    (My English is not all that great – I’m brazilian -, but I wanted to leave a message anyway.)

  45. Nice to meet you, finally (even if it’s online you geek 🙂 ).
    And check this out:



    Some encouragement in case the wife has a problem with the beard. The best song name too…
    Cheers!

  46. Have also struggled with the blog about not writing in my blog, ended up just saying heck with it and never went back. Kind of wish I had your guts, to keep at it even when your tired and overworked. (course you can’t/won’t stop guesting on The Guild either, right????lol Was addicted to it before your guest spot came on in season 3 wasn’t it? either way was a pleasant surprise 😀 )
    On the sunny side of life, I get a kick out of your videos, your blogs, and frankly a lot of your fans and their comments. totally mmd!

  47. No post for us to lavish praises on for your latest turn as Ted Kord (aka the True Blue Beetle)? Guess I’ll just have to post my joyous comment here then.

  50. I think this quote that one of my followers left on my blog applies well here:
    “Thoughts lack significant value until they are voiced or demonstrated wherein they can be judged and challenged and validated, even if only by the author.”
    Thanks as always for sharing, and just for being so genuine, Wil.

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“The library is a safe place.”

In order to survive, I disassociated for much of my childhood, but I clearly remember the books. That's where I found comfort, companionship, inspiration and validation. It's where the imagination that powers everything I do creatively in my life today was born. And it all started in that library, with that librarian. She was one of the first people I can remember asking me, "What do you like? What's important to you? What do you want to know more about? How can I help you find it?"

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