WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

…clawing at the ceiling of his grave…

  • Television

All this week, I'm recording the audio version of John Scalzi's The Android's Dream. It's a delightful book, with wonderful characters, smart dialog, and some of the most enjoyable side trips into world building I've ever read in a SF novel. Also, it's really, really funny.

Tomorrow, I'm going in later than usual, because I have an audition in the morning for a show that I'm really, really excited to possibly be on. I can't say what it is (whether I book the job or not, when it's all resolved I will reveal at least the title of the show), but it's something I've wanted to work on for years, with some creative people I really respect. So, yanno, fingers crossed and all that.

The sides I got for the audition are just wonderful (an incredible rarity these days, sadly) and the character is one of the best-drawn and most clearly-defined characters I've read in years. I'm really looking forward to trying on his skin for a little bit, and seeing how it fits. And then making a lampshade and some luggage out of it, so I can carry him with me wherever I go forever and ever and ever.

I'm really looking forward to this audition, and no matter what happens, I'm grateful to the writers and to casting for giving me something I can really work with, instead of something I have to overcome, which seems to happen more frequently than not, (and which I will blame on Reality TV, because … why not? Fuck Reality TV, man. Fuck it right in its empty soul and black withered industry-destroying heart.) This character is a thinker, reclusive, intense, and broken. The sides just hint at it, but there is something seriously wrong with this guy, and the scenes are so well-written, I can set my twisted imagination free to run around in the field of dark and fucked up things, and use whatever it digs up to inform the character choices I make. This sort of thing hardly ever happens (the material we typically get for television just isn't this solid), so I'm making the most of it; it's pretty fun, and tremendously satisfying.

This afternoon, I told my manager, "even though this guy is nothing like me, he's right in my wheelhouse as an actor, and I'm really looking forward to this, and I feel like I'm less likely to suck than a year or two ago, because I've been lucky enough to work a lot recently, and I don't feel like I'm all rusty and weird." He pointed out that I've been getting cast in a lot of roles like this, lately, too, so something is working when I play these guys … though both of us decided it was probably a good idea not to dig too deeply into the roots of this particular mystery. Besides, my imagination is doing a pretty disturbing job all on its own, and I don't want to mess with its mojo, lest it decide to turn me into a lampshade or something.

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1 November, 2010 Wil

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Hank Scorpio would really appreciate it if you’d read this post → ← The Circle is Complete

65 thoughts on “…clawing at the ceiling of his grave…”

  1. Tertiary says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    Speaking of lampshades…
    http://nymag.com/news/features/67963/

  2. CM_George says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    So… is it safe to assume that the show in question is not, in fact, Glee? 😉
    Sending good vibes your way, whatever the show might be. Best of luck at the audition!

  3. Bridget Hefner says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    So would this be a steady role, and not just a guest appearance?

  4. Jules says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    OOOO! More evil evil characters. Most wonderful. Now I’m going to spend too much of my time wondering what show it is you are auditioning for.
    Break a leg and all that!

  5. DaughterofEru says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    It doesn’t have to be a lampshade, it could be a skin throw pillow.

  6. Wesley Nixon says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    My guess… Walking Dead.

  7. Love_Musik says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Break a leg at the audition, Wil! You’ll do brilliantly, I’m sure!

  8. Klandwehr says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Wish you the best of luck, sounds like a great opportunity, the mind spins with possibilities

  9. Davidmackenz says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    I hope the title is a Decemberists reference.
    Good luck! I enjoy seeing you in pretty much anything, especially when it’s somewhat dark.

  10. Ragsynz says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    my moneys on warehouse 13 or SGU. Or it could be something completely different like vampire diaries, oh wait you said “with some creative people”…. either way, break a leg, and hurry up and tell us.

  11. Ian A. A. Watson says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    please be Castle please be Castle please be Castle

  12. Sunidesus says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Break a leg and all that.
    As for Android’s Dream… I usually don’t get into audio books, but I’m quite sure I’ll be making an exception for this one when it comes out. Totally awesome book and listening to you perform it will, I’m sure, also be awesome. Because really, how can a book with a chapter long fart joke not be awesome?

  13. AtheneNumphe says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    So, Wil Wheaton, you’re meemaw hasn’t died. You’re skipping Texas w00tstocks to record and audition. You lied to us, Wheaton. We may never be able to forgive you.

  14. Hdibner says:
    1 November, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    You do make a particularly prime twisted evil dude, so break a leg in your audition. Also, maybe someone else’s leg to really show how warped in the brain pan your character could be. In all practical honesty though, you might not be able to get a decent sized luggage set AND a lampshade out of his skin.

  15. Theonar says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Please be Fringe, that would be AWESOME. With the sauce and everything.
    Good luck, either way.

  16. GuanoLad says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    It’s the new season of, now based in America, “Torchwood” isn’t it? Right? Am I right? Am I right am I right am I right? Bing!

  17. Melindra says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Good luck, Wil! Go be a dick! =D

  18. Sihaya says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    “This sort of thing hardly ever happens (the material we typically get for television just isn’t this solid), so I’m making the most of it; it’s pretty fun, and tremendously satisfying.”
    Oh lord, don’t write things like that. You always get replies like, “So, did show XX really write a weak character outline??” And you have to write something evasive and polite, or something that defends the work that writers have to do under their grueling schedule, or whatever, for every show you’ve ever been on. I will assume that every audition for everything you starred in involved well-fleshed material from a team of crack writers and an ace director who, you hope, will hire you again. I mean, clearly they had the discernment and depth to choose you. Some of those *other* auditions featured badly drawn, undefined characters. But you won’t name names. 🙂
    Break a leg.

  19. Yumemisama says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Break a leg. Or, if it’s that kind of role, try breaking someone else’s leg. It might help more.

  20. Rockdawg1965 says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    So… You are going to be an evil helpdesk guy on Outsourced?

  21. Sifichick says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    Congratulations on getting an audition for Family Guy. At least that’s my guess. I know you’ve wanted to be on it for a long time.

  22. RobinInSeoul says:
    1 November, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    The new Big Bad on CSI!!!!

  23. edr777 says:
    1 November, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    Good hunting! 🙂

  24. C.V. Wilson says:
    1 November, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    I was going to say Torchwood but it doesn’t really strike me as something you’ve wanted to be on for years, for as you’ve mentioned Doctor Who before, you haven’t really mentioned Torchwood. Though, I suppose that , a lot of the people involved in Torchwood are also involved in Doctor Who. And I heard rumors of some seriously fucked up characters showing up on the new American season. I’m over thinking and am intrigued, to say the least.

  25. Foxie299 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Just wanted to add my voice to all the others wishing you luck (hey, no matter how much skill you bring, there’s always a good helping of luck involved!)
    I don’t watch US TV, but I love reading about your auditions and work because you love doing it so much. You have such a passion for it that it’s a little ray of hope and inspiration in the world.
    So, good luck! Roll well, Wil–hell, you can even use my ‘special’ dice if you like.

  26. Alex Pope says:
    2 November, 2010 at 1:08 am

    May your talent be ripe at the time of picking.
    Hmm. Personally, I’d say were it Breaking Bad that would be awesomesause. And there’s plenty of room there for broken characters (pun intended). I suppose it depends on what he means by “it’s something I’ve wanted to work on for years,” since BB hasn’t been around for all that long.
    Although, it films close enough to Wil’s abode (closer than say Vancouver, or even Oregon), that he could get home to his family on weekends.

  27. karohemd says:
    2 November, 2010 at 4:29 am

    I bet you’re going to do it anyway but please let us know when the audio book is available. Would be great to listen to on my way to and from work.
    *fingers crossed* for that big audition. Slay them!
    Your idea of making a lampshade out of that character is weirding me out slightly, though. ;o)

  28. Pugrin says:
    2 November, 2010 at 5:03 am

    “I’m really looking forward to trying on his skin for a little bit, and seeing how it fits. And then making a lampshade and some luggage out of it, so I can carry him with me wherever I go forever and ever and ever.” Was there a religion change? Did you become and Aztec priest? On a side note I recently started playing Pokémon red (never really caught them all sigh….) If you watch the TV in the main characters’ house it says 4 kids walking on a train track. Is this a reference to ‘Stand by me’ or is this known?
    Man I need a life!
    Pugrin

  29. gmknobl says:
    2 November, 2010 at 5:14 am

    Oh. Another serial killer type.
    It’s giving you roles to play and that’s good but do you worry you’ll get type cast as the bad and/or disturbed guy? Frankly, I think that’s not the case, yet but there’s a definite theme going here.

  30. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1307950723 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 5:19 am

    This character is a thinker, reclusive, intense, and broken. The sides just hint at it, but there is something seriously wrong with this guy…
    So, you’re auditioning to replace Charlie Sheen, then?

  31. Mary Nir says:
    2 November, 2010 at 6:00 am

    Sending you audition mojo, and soap for your scary, scary imagination.

  32. Noah Jones says:
    2 November, 2010 at 6:18 am

    Appendages crossed for you. Eat ’em up!

  33. Nick says:
    2 November, 2010 at 6:48 am

    I really hope that audiobook gets released in a format I’m willing to purchase (i.e. not DRM-infested Audible). I really enjoyed your audiobooks and “The Android’s Dream” is my favorite book by Scalzi, so I’d really love to hear it. (I know, of course, that you don’t have any say in how it’s released; I’m just wishing out loud here.)

  34. haliphax says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Knock ’em dead, Wil!

  35. Isisgate1 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:23 am

    I never heard of this before. Kinda wish I hadn’t still. This is going to fester in my head for a while. Thanks.

  36. Isisgate1 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:24 am

    I am surprised he hasn’t been on castle yet. It would be a perfect fit. Funny Evil Wil to the tenth power sure would clinch a 4th season.

  37. Isisgate1 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:25 am

    But Neil Gaiman is going in his stead so its all good.

  38. Dangerousleanings.blogspot.com says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:29 am

    May there be much breaking of leg in the audition! I love meaty roles like that…cavorting in the mental playground of a villain can be an absolute blast.

  39. Isisgate1 says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:31 am

    I am so happy that you are doing the kinds of things that make you happy, even though that means the posts are fewer and further between.
    Castle hasn’t been around for years, but it would be fun to see you there. But rather than a bad guy I think that you could be one of the false leads that helps Castle bug the snot out of Becket.
    I’m keeping everything crossed that won’t stay that way if I get smacked inthe back of the head for you.

  40. John Powell says:
    2 November, 2010 at 7:58 am

    The Stars are Right! Evil Wil Wheaton is Rising!

  41. Joe says:
    2 November, 2010 at 8:23 am

    it’s the beard, obviously

  42. Joffonon says:
    2 November, 2010 at 9:03 am

    Would love it to be Doctor Who (since they’re filming some episodes in the US for next year’s season). Failing that, Torchwood wouldn’t be bad. 🙂

  43. Nikki Ackerman says:
    2 November, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Break a leg!
    You’ll be awesome 🙂 I must agree an episode or two of Doctor Who would be outstanding and Torchwood would be equally outstanding. Whatever it is I’d probably watch it. 🙂

  44. Wayne Zachary says:
    2 November, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Good luck on the audition Wil , knock em’ dead! I think someone needs to make a clown sweater patterned lampshade,in the style of R. Stevens portrait of you. Make it happen interwebs!

  45. Mr-maigo says:
    2 November, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Plenty of good ideas so far but I’m putting my chips on Dexter.

  46. Paleotectonics says:
    3 November, 2010 at 5:09 am

    Cougartown?

  47. Ninshubur says:
    3 November, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Fingers crossed for you.
    Actually I can imagine you in almost any of the shows I like (yes, even in true blood!), but since it’s thanks to you that I now follow the BBT and Eureka I hope it’s another of those amazing show that I, for some reason, still ignore >:D.

  48. Videogamedoc87 says:
    3 November, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Since no one else has mentioned my idea, I think it could be House There isn’t a lot of room for not very nice characters on that show but I think you would make a great patient of the week and an even better Doctor at PPTH. Break a Leg and can’t wait to hear what happens! *sends you good vibes*

  49. Midnitexpress says:
    3 November, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    it’s seasame street, Wil is the Grouchs grouchier cousin. I hope you’re all happy, you made me spoil it for everyone! lol good luck Wil

  50. Micha says:
    3 November, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Sending you good mojo!

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