54 thoughts on “I spent way too much time on this.”

1. Oh my…. I fear I am entirely too amused by this in my sad state of being awake for a lovely 48hrs.
   I find myself cracking madly at the word erection as though I were a gradeschooler again. I thank thee kind sir!

2. This made me laugh a lot more than I really think it should have. And it made me look forward to my next bit of spam.

3. i was worried about running wild so today i purchased a mountain bike…

4. My cats are looking at me like I’m insane. Thanks. ;p

5. Sparks McGee has no need for such things. His erection runs wild all on it’s own.

6. Wil, If you spent way too much time making it, I spent WAY WAY to much time trying to laugh quietly so my co-workers wouldn’t hear as I read it! Thanks!

7. Don’t forget that having an erection also cures Diabeetus. 🙂

8. Thank you for spending too much time on this, you have amused me greatly.

9. in a voiceover
   “Eventually Wil was allowed into a Place Where Men Run Wild, and all have erections.
   …that was the longest night of his life.”

10. I for one, would like to thank Wilford Brimley for his Moustache. Without which, this tale would not have existed in all the glory that it is. And I hope HIS erection, does not hinder his diabetes…

11. A place where you can run around with an erection and be wild? Sounds like the Edo planet to me.

12. I, too, have a compulsory and detailed sequence of hypothetical situations occur to me throughout the day from the most mundane of things. They amuse me to no end and I hold them as proof of my creative and eclectic nature. I have, however, come to understand most others are not quite so amused or appreciative when I share my little Imagine Land vignettes, so I generally keep them to my self, nowadays.
    I am glad you chose to share, though.
    Cheers!

13. Hehehe, he said “forsooth” …
    What we need here, is an Erector Set.

14. And sadly if you’ve seen the Movie Kate and Leopold, you realize all along that Wilford Brimley moustache and Wil were talking about bridges all along… perverts! lol

15. Am I the only one who read this in the voices of the Monty Python cast?

16. No, no you are not.

17. Aloha Hail-fellow! I have heard about your troubles of not being able to enter the Land of Where The Men Run Wild, and I have the solution to your problem. I have heard that you would like more information on obtaining an erection so that you can run wild with the Men who Run Wild. Just send a self-addressed stamped envelope on the back of a limited edition Wesley Crusher with the Kung-Fu Grip signed by Wil Wheaton to : Enterprise PC, 518 Linden Ave., Buffalo, NY 14216. We will send free information back to you regarding how you can obtain your very own willy, johnson or schwartz to run wild with.
    d(^_^)b

18. Nope.. totally heard Graham Chapman and Terry Jones talking there.

19. So this begs the question, did you contact Nash Morton about this issue and having resolved it, returned to the Place Where Men Run Wild? An episode II is order I believe.

20. Holy shit, I’m at work, sitting at my desk, eating lunch and laughing like a god damn mad man. This may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.

21. Dear Mr. Wheaton,
    Well Played.
    Thank You,
    My inner 7 year old.

22. Chai tea latte now coming out of my nose – laughing too hard…

23. I have an email address that is strictly for personal stuff so I don’t put it out on the internet. Unfortunately, it’s something that a lot of other people apparently wanted as their email address. Let’s say it’s [email protected]. Because I had already taken it, those people had to append it in some way, most commonly by adding a number which they then seem to forget. I am now inundated with spam because those same people can’t seem to remember that their email address is blah8 or 25 or whatever. I also get personal emails for at least three different people, invites to lunch, pictures, etc. Recently, I got all of a woman’s private information because she was filling out a JOB APPLICATION online and used the wrong email address. Since I had her phone number, I called and let her know but what if I’d been an asshole? I could have totally screwed her over. The point of this rant…I HATE SPAM!!!!

24. And here, all this time, I thought was runing wild. I thought I was having the time of my life. But now I find that it’s all been a ruse, a farce, a pale imitation because I lack the erection necessary to truly be running wild! The horror!

25. Be honest Wil, this is actually a scene from the TNG episode Justice that wound up on the cutting room floor, and is the *real* reason why Wesley was sentenced to death. It makes so much more sense than the lame flower bed reason. 😉

26. Um, what is this, I don’t even…
    Does Anne know about this? Only two possible answers, a. never. b. Like us, she’ll think it’s HIGHLARIOUS. (Yes, I know it says High larious.) : P
    One time I got spam that said “more power your elbow.”
    I kept it.
    Though I didn’t write a short story about it.

27. hmm… a place where men run wild… a man named Jenkins…all I can picture is…
    LEEEROY JENKINS!!!

28. HA!
    Don’t run with an erection… you could fall and put your eye out, fellas.

29. I believe the most appropriate thanks to Nash Morton would be to return a photo of The Bloggess holding twine or Wil Wheaton collating papers.

30. And I spent way too much time laughing at this. At work. While imagining my Wilford Brimley-mustachioed boss in the role of “Burly Man”.
    Damn you Wheaton, you win at life again!

31. That totally gave me a lady-boner.

32. Not the only one at all.
    *Off to re-calculate the air speed velocity of an African sparrow laden with a Man Who Would Run Wild*

33. I… actually periodically trawl my spam folder for really good, surreal sentences in spam mail and add them to my ‘story fodder’ folder. *hangs head*

34. I see you your running wild and raise you a picture of Wil Wheaton collating papers!

35. Well done, my friend!! That is epic!

36. While reading this Wilford Brimley’s Diabetes commercial was on, it was kinda freaky.

37. I know have desire to be the creator of a refuge park where men can run wild with out fear of being persecuted for not having an erection.

38. Wil Wheaton… Playwright!

39. I was about to type the same thing.

40. I’d say you spent exactly the right amount of time on this! Thank you so much for the laugh; these days, we can always use one. 🙂

41. Stephen Leacock, SJ Perelman, James Thurbur…and Wil Wheaton. I shall say no more. ( Nudge, nudge, wink wink etc).

42. Penis.
    Penis?
    Penis.

43. Hey Wil,
    You really should record your lines and post them so we can mix our own dramatic telling. I’m in a pro-tools class right now and would love the chance to mix this into a nice radio spot.

44. Need to stop reading so fast. Saw “Aloha, Fail Fellow!”
    So. I’m going to be saying this ALL NIGHT.

45. Wow, english is a funny language (and my first language although I still don’t fully understand it…). I read that email to mean that you were running wild because you have no erection and that Nash could help you correct that, and you would be running wild no longer.
    Which really makes no sense at all. Which I generally expect from those types of emails…

46. This kind of reminds me of the horror of 7 year old me watching Cocoon and hearing Wilford Brimley make jokes about his penis. That was a simpler time when I knew him as grumpy old grandpa on Our House and didn’t know Shannon Doherty was such a diva.

47. First thing I thought of was the planet Risa lol

48. In case of an erection lasting more than four hours, call me.
    I mean, not me, her.
    Really it isn’t any of my business. Just leave me out of the whole thing. I don’t want to know.
    *looks frantically for exit*

49. I’ve seen cartoons inspired by spam before but this is a whole new genre.

50. At least you have potential. I get that type of spam and it doesn’t even come with details of where to obtain the necessary penis.

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