A Great Disturbance in the Force

So I’m sure that, by now, everyone knows that George Lucas is putting the guys from *Nsync into the next Star Wars movie.
The resounding cry all over the ‘net has been something along the lines of, “Nooooooo! Bring us more Jar Jar! Bring us a whole army of Jar Jars! Put Wesley in it! Just don’t put *Nsync in there!”
Harry Knowles wrote a great piece at AICN (scroll down a few screens to read it), and there’s a discussion at FARK, and here’s my take on the whole thing, for what it’s worth:
I once met some of those ‘Nsync guys…and they were some of the nicest people I’ve ever spoken to.
They were so nice to my step-kids, who are completely nuts about them, and, even though I really don’t like their music, I have wanted them to be successful, because they seemed like nice people.
Now, putting on my cynical, “burned by Lucas in Episode 1” cloak, I will say this: This makes perfect sense to me, and anyone who doubted Lucas’ complete disregard for the long time, older Star Wars fans, in favor of the 13 year olds who loved Jar Jar need look no further.
Also, I’ve been asked countless times by countless people to suggest some books that they can read about acting and writing. Until I make a page here all about that (a fairly major undertaking), I’ve made a list at Amazon, of the books that I always suggest to people.

Workin’ for the weekend

Well, it’s official. I’ll be bringing my unique brand of comedy to the ACME Comedy Theatre this Saturday night, at 8 PM.
I just got the lineup, and I’m in a bunch of REALLY funny sketches, including 2 that I wrote: “Shut Up, Wesley!” and “Cold*eze”. Both sketches were very well reviewed the last time I did them, and the other material in the show is hilarious.
So if you haven’t made plans for Saturday night, yet, why not come see the funny at the ACME theatre? You’ll be glad you did.
Oh, important note: if you’re some freaky weirdo who would have to travel a thousand miles to come here, stay home.
Unless you’re a hot 19 year old cheerleader. That’s female cheerleader, dorkus.

Sugar Free Jazz

On my way home from getting my hair cut this afternoon, I drove right past the Rose Bowl, where a few people are watching this football game, that used to be played between the two teams with the best record…but something’s all farked up this year, I guess.
I’m sitting in some traffic, and I hear this awful, loud, angry, screaming, explosive sound, and I think that a tanker truck has crashed, or something. I start looking around to see what the source of this was, and there is this huge, firey explosion off to my right…and I realize that the noise is yet another squadron of fighter jets doing yet another fly over. The firey explosion was fire works inside the Rose Bowl.
Boy, my heart was pounding. I’m glad I don’t live near an airport.
When I got home, there was a rather strongly worded email from my friend Mark, who directed “Foreign Correspondents“. He was a little cheesed off at me for forgetting to mention that the film is now available, on DVD and VHS.
Sorry, Mark. Blame the holidays, and the F-18’s.
Lots of people have emailed, and asked when they can see ForCor, and Jane White. Well, you can get those DVD’s and VHS’s of ForCor here, and, if you live in Southern California, you can see a screening of Jane White! Information about our screenings is here.
Also, due to the overwhelming demand, I have put up a Toy Soldiers photo and the Star Trek lunch box on eBay. Have fun!

Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago

From the ever-growing list of bands I am so bummed broke up, Soul Coughing, comes today’s title. This is from the great album, “Ruby Vroom”.
I’m starting to realize that mainstream stuff just annoys me, because it all sounds alike…I think that’s why I so love bands like Cake, and Radiohead, and Soul Coughing…the Pixies…I gotta tell you, I am so upset that the most recent releases from Save Ferris and No Doubt are so “ready for radio” and pop-ish…they feel so “produced” rather than “created”, if that makes any sense…and Save Ferris is one of my favorite bands of all time. No Doubt…well, they’ve become sort of disposable to me recently, because you can’t even get within a hundred feet of them at a show for less than a hundred bucks…but you can still see SF at normal venues, and they will actually hang out and meet people after the show..Save Ferris rules. I mean, c’mon. I named my dog after the damn band!
I’m bummed that the new album is more pop-ish than their other stuff, because it feels like it’s not true to what they really are. It feels like some producer or record exec said, “Let’s make them sound more like [currently popular band]”…but if that’s what you gotta do to survive and keep workin’, hey…I am not going to cast stones at that…look no further than “Python” or “Deep Core” to see my acting-world equivalent.
Besides, the new album has “Angry Situation”, which is one of the best Save Ferris songs I’ve ever heard.
I hope they are amazingly successful, and when they get huge again, they pull a Tony Clifton and record an album of just the old stuff. 🙂
But that’s not what I sat down to write about today.
I want to tell you all about this great thing that I got for Christmas…and this is *so* going to sound like a lame commercial…but I just love this thing so much, I wanted to share it with the world: my mom got me the George Foreman Grill, and I’m cooking everything on it, and it rules. If you’re a college student, or you live in a one-room apartment, you gotta get one of these…it makes the most amazing burgers and chicken breasts, and it’s so easy to use, I don’t even burn anything. I made chicken breasts in it a couple of nights ago, and I used it to make sausage this morning…oh man, it rules. My consumption of grilled, marinated meats has increased 5000%. Thanks, George Foreman!

Okay, so now that I’m done with that, I really don’t have anything else to say…I just didn’t like that I hadn’t written anything in a few days, mostly because there was nothing worth writing about, except for the damn B2 bomber that flew over my house on Jan 1 at 7AM, shaking the whole damn thing and scaring the hell out of me, even though I knew it was coming. Stupid Rose Parade.
Anyway, that’s all for right now. I’m going to be updating the site pretty soon, switching to Moveable Type, and really making the concerted effort to get the old GM entries exported. I’ll also talk to Loren and Josh about bringing the Soapbox back up, and it looks like I’m going to have to completely re-install the gallery. Dammit.
OH! I almost forgot: I’m getting lots of emails asking if I’ll do another auction, so I’m going to go ahead and do that. This time I’ll be offering that cool Star Trek lunchbox, and I think I have a Wesley Crusher action figure around here, someplace. I also won another auction…get ready…it’s a VHS of “The Curse”. Yes, that’s right, I have, in my possession, a copy of one of the worst movies ever made, starring yours truly, and featuring my sister.
Pop quiz, A-hole. You’ve gotten a copy of the worst move ever. What do you do? What do you do?
Well, you offer that for an auction, too, of course. Duh.
So, that’s three things for the collectors, which I hope will make some people happy. Those should be ready in a couple of days or so.
Finally, I completely forgot to post this earlier this week: The ACME Comedy Theatre, where I teach and perform, is starting a new session of Winter Classes. This Saturday, we’re holding a sample class, where you can come out and see how we teach, and what we teach, and it’s all for free. Here’s the email that our company’s director sent out:

Subject: ACME WINTER CLASSES
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
last chance for 2002 winter session! (begins Jan. 12)
ACME COMEDY WORKSHOPS
Offering classes in improv and sketch comedy!
Become a member of the
critically-acclaimed ACME Players!
Attend this Saturday’s FREE Sample Class!
Saturday, Jan. 5 — 1 p.m. (lasts approx. 90 min.)
NOW UNDER THE DIRECTION OF M.D. SWEENEY
Study and Perform Comedy on the same stage as WAYNE BRADY, RYAN STILES,
BRAD SHERWOOD, FRED WILLARD, WIL WHEATON, ADAM CAROLLA, ALEX BORSTEIN,
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE and many more.
Company Members who developed their writing skills at ACME include
Emmy-nominated writers of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, writer/producers of FRIENDS,
GROUNDED FOR LIFE, Emmy-winning writer/producers of WARNER BROS. ANIMATION,
THE SIMPSONS, JUST SHOOT ME, VERONICA’S CLOSET, NORM, 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN
and many more.
To Register or for More Info
CALL 323 525-0233
ACME COMEDY THEATRE
135 N. La Brea Av
Hollywood, CA 90036
(1/2 block south of Beverly Bl.)

I think I’m going to be in the show this Saturday night. If I am, I’ll be doing a sketch called “Shut Up, Wesley!”, that always kills. So if you’re in LA on Saturday, come and see us. The show starts at 8.
I hope everyone is enjoying the first week of the new year! I’m going to get my hair cut now.

One more thing

I really thought my last post would be my last post for 2001…but I just got off the phone with my mom, and I’m gonna get on a soapbox for a second.
My dad is a perfusionist. That means that he runs a heart lung machine during open heart surgery. Basically, when someone is having their heart operated on, my dad keeps them alive, running the machine that performs the function of their heart and lungs. My dad also helped pioneer this process called ECMO, which is extended heart bypass for newborn babies who have heart defects. ECMO has saved countlless lives since they invented it, and I’m really proud of my dad, and all that he’s done.
Ever since I can remember, my dad has been on call during the holidays. Before this year, I can’t remember the last time he wasn’t, and he gets called into the hospital every Christmas. This used to bother me, because I wanted to spend the time with my dad, until I thought, when I was about 15 or so, that while I was upset that my dad was not at home, he wasn’t at home because there was some other family who was hoping that their dad, or mom, or whomever was not going to die. Perspective is important, you know.
So here’s what my mom told me: My dad got called into the hospital at 3AM, for an emergency trauma surgery. One more note: my dad is one of the best and most respected perfusionists in the world, especially in California. He’s so respected and so good, that when George Bush the first was having all his heart trouble and came to Los Angeles, my dad was hand-picked to be on standby the whole time Bush was here, just in case. If you’re going to have heart surgery, you want my dad on the open heart team, is what I’m saying.
So he’s called in at 3AM, because there is an emergency.
This man and woman had taken their son and daughter to see a movie. On the way home, they were hit by a drunk driver. Their daughter was instantly killed, and my dad was called in because their son had massive internal injuries, and I guess he needed open heart surgery. I’m not sure what happened to the parents, but I do know that the drunk driver who murdered their daughter survived without a scratch, and was fortunately caught by the police.
I want you all to listen, now, and please think about this: life can change in an instant. One moment, you’re driving along, singing with the radio, or arguing about the movie you just saw, or simply sitting in silence, and the next moment your daughter is dead. Forever. Your son is clinging to life in a hospital, and you and your wife are never giong to be able to have a Christmas or New Year’s with both of them again.
I’m sure this happens all the time, because that’s what happens in life.
But this family has been torn apart because some stupid fucker had to drink and drive.
We all know that people do it. Maybe you’ve done it once or twice, and you’ve gotten away with it.
We’ve all heard the “don’t drink and drive” message so much that it blends into the background noise of our lives…and here is my wish: please listen to it this time. Please, if you or someone you know is planning to go out and party like it’s…well, not 1999…but you get the idea…please think of this family, and think of the loss of their child, and how preventable that loss was. Please don’t drink and drive, and please stop your friends from drinking and driving.
I know this sounds like a silly PSA, but I really do mean it. Thanks for indulging me.
Have a happy new year, everyone!