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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

autographed guitar hero controller from PAX

Paxgh
While I was at PAX this year, I signed a sweet Guitar Hero controller for a pretty cool guy who waited in line a for a long time to put the pen in my hand.

Near the end of the convention, I saw him again, and he showed me that he’d gotten it signed by pretty much everyone there, from Gabe and Tycho to Jonathan Coulton to MC Frontalot, to . . . well, check out the whole list at Kotaku. It’s pretty awesome, especially if you’re a gamer.

He has put the autographed guitar hero controller up for auction on eBay, with 100% of the final bid going to the Child’s Play charity.

For the five of you who don’t know about Child’s Play:

With the help of hospital
staff, we’ve set up gift wish lists full of video games, toys, and
movies. You can go to each hospital’s list and buy a toy, and that toy
will be sent to the hospital. Some of these kids are in pretty bad
shape. Imagine being stuck alone in a hospital over the holidays,
getting something from a fellow gamer would really raise their spirits.
Some of the stuff the hospital will give away for kids to keep, while
other gifts (like consoles) will be kept by the hospital for patients
to use throughout the year.

So if you win this auction, not only do you get a guitar controller signed by me with the timeless inscription "FREEBIRD!!!!" you will be adding some awesome to the world.

I submitted this story to Propeller, and it would be awesome if it made the front page, so more people know about it.

(Image ganked from Kotaku)

5 November, 2007 Wil 16 Comments

that’s just how i roll

Last night, while we made dinner, Anne said, "I don’t speak geek, but I wanted to ask you . . . did you have fun at D&D?"

I stopped chopping onions and said, "Oh yeah! It was so awesome. It was a pretty classic hack and slash dungeon crawl that could have been straight out of The Keep on the Borderlands, and –"

She held up her hand. "Wait. Wait. Wait. You’re speaking geek."

"Sorry." I thought for a moment and added, "okay, there was one thing that happened that I think you can appreciate."

"Okay."

"Well, you know how gamers are really weird about our dice?"

She stirred a pot of rice on the stove, and covered it.

"Yes, like when you freaked out at Ryan for touching your ‘forbidden dice.’" She made little air quotes around the appropriate words.

"Exactly," I said. "So I played with some very experienced gamers. There were people in my party who have been playing longer than me, like back when it first came out."

She nodded, and pointed at the cutting board.

"What? Oh. Sorry." I went back to chopping onions.

"So we all brought our own dice, obviously."

"Obviously," she said.

"And at one point in our second encounter –" I finished chopping, and swept the onions into a dish with the knife. "Would you turn on that pan for me? So, an encounter is what we call it when we’re playing an adventure, and we deal with monsters or something like that."

"Mmmm," she said.

"Uh-oh, I’m losing her."
I thought.  "I’d better speed this up and get to the point."

I stabbed the top of a Tofu pouch and drained its water into the sink. I dumped the tofu block out into my hand, and set it on the cutting board. While I sliced it in half, I said, "Anyway, in our second encounter, I had to roll a d20 for something, and while I was shaking it, it hopped out over the top of my hand, rolled across the table to my left, and came to rest against this other guy’s stack of dice."

The pan warmed, and I dumped curry powder into the rapidly heating oil.

"It was like time stopped for a second, and the only thing any of us could see was my d20 resting against his d4 — that’s the one that looks like a pyramid."

"Oh, the one that’s so fun to step on," she said.

"I said I was sorry about that," I said. I stirred the curry around, and put my tofu into the pan. It sizzled, and a delicious cloud of curry-flavored steam billowed into the kitchen.

"So while the other end of the table continued resolving their combat, he looked at me and said, very seriously, ‘Uh, your dice are touching my dice.’"

"Oh no!" She said.

"Yeah, and he was totally serious."

"What did you do?" She started chopping tomatoes.

"I said, ‘Sorry, it hopped out of my hand while I was getting ready to make my listen check.’ I picked it up, careful to not touch his dice with my hand."

"Like Operation!" She said.

I laughed. "Exactly like Operation."

"Was he mad?" She said.

I flipped my tofu over. "I don’t think he was. It was more of a breach of etiquette than anything else. Can I have some of those tomatoes?"

She brought the cutting board over to me, and I pushed a few chunks into the simmering curry. It turned from bright yellow to a deep reddish brown.

"Goddamn, dude," Anne said, "that smells so good!"

I put on my best Teen Girl Squad Voice: "So good!"

"Uh, anyway," I said, "shortly after that happened, it was his turn to roll. He picked up his d20 — which I’m pretty sure was new in 1980 — and when he rolled it, it went right off the table, bounced off my thigh, and landed on the floor between us."

I turned my tofu one last time, and switched off the burner.

"I looked up at him and I said, ‘Dude. Your dice touched me.’" I laughed, "it was pretty funny."

"Why are you people so weird about your dice?" Anne said.

"That’s just how we roll," I said.

She looked at me. "Did you just . . ."

"Yes." I said. "Yes I did."

She suppressed a smile, and shook her head.

"Nolan!" She called over her shoulder," dinner is ready!"

5 November, 2007 Wil 66 Comments

Bad Astronomy reviews Happiest Days

Phil Plait, aka The Bad Astronomer, reviewed The Happiest Days of Our Lives!

This book is really good. Are you a geek? Grew up playing video
games? Go to cons? Watch Trek? Have your own set of d10s, d12, and d20s
(and if you even know what that means, then yes, you count)? Yeah, you
know who you are. You are already one of us, whether you admit it or
not. Come. Join us. Be with Wil and Phil and countless others who enjoy
— nay, revel — in nerddom.

Wil’s writing makes this way of life less of the fringe it was when
I was a kid and more of a real thing, a legitimate lifestyle choice.
Sure, you get razzed by others, but this is really how we are.
You get a taste of it through Wil’s eyes, through his reminiscing.
There’s a nice mix of real-guy-with-a-life-and-family mixed in with
fanboy mixed in with being an actual TV and movie actor. Also, I play
poker, so his story about a Hollywood poker speakeasy made me laugh.

To mark this occasion, I am happy to announce that within the next 24 hours I’ll begin accepting orders from everywhere in the world. In addition to the US, we’ll ship to The Canada, The UK, The The European Union, The Australia, and The Everywhere Else. International customers: please understand that the shipping costs are insane, and because I have to fill out each custom form by hand, shipping times will take at least two weeks, but I’ll do my best to make it shorter.

I’m still working on a solution to sell the hardbacks. I’m getting closer, and I don’t think I’ll be able to use PayPal as a shopping cart and storefront, because the problem I’m currently having, item numbers aren’t showing up in multiorder shiping, has existed and remained untouched by PayPal since April.

We’re currently looking at lots of different cart and backend options, and we may have found something that is going to work for us, and is Open Source as a bonus! We looked at Yahoo shopping, Z Shops at Amazon, and Google Checkout, but they all had various deal-killing issues.

2 November, 2007 Wil 37 Comments

xkcd goes postal

Today’s xkcd is even more relevant to my life than it usually is, since I’ve spent a lot of time at the post office lately.

2 November, 2007 Wil 14 Comments

a different perspective on numb three ers

The art department at Numb3rs created the best fake comic convention I’ve ever seen for last week’s show. The level of detail was phenomenal, including things like a stack of flyers welcoming participants to the con, booths from Wizkids, and WOTC, and appearances by several different real life comic creators.

One of those comic creators, Tony Fleecs (In My Lifetime, POSTCARDS: True Stories that Never Happened) talked to the comic podcast Word Balloon about his experiences on the set. It’s an enjoyable listen for comic readers, and people who just want to know what it’s like to be on the set of a television show from the perspective of someone who doesn’t work in the TV industry every day. He also said some nice things about me, which made my sugar hangover a little more bearable.

(Thanks to reader Ethan J., for the link!)

1 November, 2007 Wil 11 Comments

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It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton


Every Wednesday, Wil narrates a new short fiction story. Available right here, or wherever you get your podcasts. Also available at Patreon.

Wil Wheaton’s Audiobooks

Still Just A Geek is available wherever you get your audiobooks.

My books Dancing Barefoot, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, and Dead Trees Give No Shelter, are all available, performed by me. You can listen to them for free, or download them, at wilwheaton.bandcamp.com.

Wil Wheaton’s Books

My New York Times bestselling memoir, Still Just A Geek is available wherever you get your books.


Visit Wil Wheaton Books dot Com for free stories, eBooks, and lots of other stuff I’ve created, including The Day After and Other Stories, and Hunter: A short, pay-what-you-want sci-fi story.

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