When I started to write this, there were almost 450 comments, and 20 trackbacks to my last entry. I also saw that some Trek news places picked up O’Reilly’s press release.
I’m really overwhelmed with the outpouring of joy and congratulations that are on this site, and in my Inbox. All I can really do is say thank you. I am incredibly touched and incredibly lucky to be the focus of so much positive energy and happiness.
I haven’t even had time to sit back and absorb the impact, though, because Anne and I had our house appraised today, and we spent about 12 hours a day for 6 days getting out shit together. All that landscaping we’d been putting off got done, and all the piles and piles of junk that had accumulated around my office finally got cleaned up. I hear that it’s easier to write in a clean and uncluttered space . . . but I’ve done it in chaos for so long, I wonder if this serenity will have any noticeable effect.
Heh. Serenity. There’s a pornstar joke there, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’ll just use it as an excuse to link Jenna Jameson’s website. Maybe she’ll see the fives of hits she gets, and then we can trade action figures!
Okay, I don’t know how I ended up on some pornstar rant there . . . must be the exhaustion and relief I feel now that the appraisal is over. And, to be honest, I feel a little lost in this insanely clean house we now have. I realized this morning that I’ve lived here for five years, and today was the second time I’d actually taken the screens off and done hardcore cleaning on the windows. Turns out the sky out my office window isn’t always as grey as I thought it was.
So what happens next?
I get to spend much more time working on the Just A Geek rewrites, because O’Reilly wants the book out in Spring of 2004. I’ll also do some media junk for the national release of Dancing Barefoot, probably in January.
A lot of people wanted to know what animal will be on my Website book. The answer is, I don’t know. I hear that rookie ORA authors (like me) don’t get to choose their own animal . . . but wouldn’t a monkey at a typewriter just be the coolest?
Some VH-1 news, too! The network is still committed to the show, and I think we found a guy to interview. I probably shouldn’t say exactly what it is, but it’s fucking hilarious. I have to go out the the East coast to film it, probably in January, and I’ll see if I can get some sort of book signing while I’m up there. As always, I’ll blather on about it right here if / when it happens.
I’m going to go fall onto the couch for about an hour now.

Yesterday, (well, today, actually. I’m composing this at 8:16pm on Monday, while Anne and Ryan assemble a desk, because I won’t have time tomorrow to write this up) while I was digging a hole in my yard, I thought to myself, Man, there’s been a big build up to this. People are expecting a major announcement, and there’s no way it will live up to expectations.
One of these years, I’ll find some way to not be so goddamn insecure. It’s in my nature. Just part of being a nerd, I guess.
So, without (much) further ado . . .

There’s been a lot of speculation about the epic announcement. Ideas have included:

• Anne and I are hatching a kidlet of our own.
• Several different variations on the “Wil’s gonna be back on Star Trek” theme.
• I’m doing a voice over for a television show, like The Simpsons.
• I’m doing a voice over for a Pixar Movie
• I discovered a bunker in my backyard, and it’s filled with a thousand cases of Guinness.

There were some who thought it was acting related, and a few who thought it was literary related.

If you were one of the very few in that last group, you totally win a pizza and a trophy, because . . .
I have totally signed a three book deal with a major publisher. O’Reilly & Associates, to be precise.
Okay, I’m totally trying to play it all cool, but . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP!! WOOOO!!!!!! ROCK!
YEAH!!! KICK ASS BABY!!! UNGH!!! UNGH!!!
*pant*
*pant*
Sorry. I’ve been getting those massive rushes of excitement with alarming frequency. I hope you all understand.
This is a very exciting relationship for me, for several reasons. First, I am a huge geek, and without O’Reilly, I wouldn’t know HTML from LMNOP. I never would have been able to get Linux running, and Perl would be one of the not-quite-as-good-as-Mrs.-Garrett replacements on Diff’rent Strokes.
This means I will be able to get my books into more stores than I ever was with Monolith Press. It means I’ll be sent out on a real book signing tour. It means I’ll be on national television and radio to promote my work, and maybe even get a review in major newspapers or magazines.
Dancing Barefoot sold 3,000 copies in less than five months, without any of that, and I can’t wait to see how it does when it’s got the power and budget of a major publisher behind it.
It also means that I will never royally screw up days worth of orders again, and I will be free to work like crazy on Just A Geek because I won’t be running the business any more.
I spoke with my editor at O’Reilly this morning (” . . . my editor at O’Reilly!” that sounds so cool!), and he told me that O’Reilly is so excited to carry Dancing Barefoot, they’re going to have a printing available in time for the holidays. They are currently working on a plan with Powells to get it out there right away, and I understand that they are in talks with Amazon as well. If you’ve been kicking yourself in the pants, or punching yourself in the back of the head because you wanted Dancing Barefoot for a holiday gift and missed out, you can stop the madness right now!
It should be in most major book stores very soon and y — Oh my god! I’m going to walk into Vroman’s and see my book on the shelf!!! AHHH!!! That RULES!
RAWK! \m/
Oops. There it goes again. 🙂
O’Reilly will also publish Just A Geek in Spring of next year, and I’m going to write a currently untitled technical book on personal website design that I think will come out in Summer.
So, you see, when I made my audioblog post back in July, I had just gotten off the phone with Brett from O’Reilly, who had called to tell me that none other than Tim O’Reilly himself had come back from OSCon talking about “the Wil Wheaton phenomenon” and instructed Brett to tell me that he wanted to be my publisher. Since that day, we’ve been working out the details. They were actually finalized a few weeks ago, but we all decided to wait until today to release this epic news, because I guess December 2 is a good day to release news, and there’s a good chance some mainstream media outlets will pick this up.
I want all of you who read WWdN to know that none of this would ever have happened without you. Many of you have been here since the early days of Where’s My Burrito?. In this strange, impersonal-but-personal way, you’ve gone with me through the ups and downs (mostly downs) of my Sisyphean struggles in the acting world. You were excited with me when I was added to Nemesis and cried with me when I was cut. You have been there when I’ve loved, and when I’ve lost. I’ve introduced you to Ryan and Nolan, Ferris, and Anne, who is more than my world . . . she’s my entire universe.
You’ve supported me so much . . . I can’t tell you all how wonderful it feels to share my tremendous joy with all of you now. Everyone who has read Dancing Barefoot, or come to see me at a show, or left a comment on this site, Soapboxers, Farkers, Slashdotters . . . I’m sure I’m forgetting people . . . but every single one of you owns a piece of this amazing new chapter in my life.

Tomorrow, I will make an epic announcement, following up on this audioblog post I made all the way back in July. In the post, I think I said something like, “I’ll update this in a week or so,” or something like that . . . well, that week or so ends tomorrow.
Happy December, everyone.
(heh. When I typed that, I hit the “3” so it looked like “Happy Decemb3r” — I am so 31337, i wil pwN j00, 5uXX0r!)

Anne and I are having our house appraised later this week, so we’re working to clean things up, and plant areas of the yard that we’ve left alone for almost a year . . . I remember how great I felt when we finished our lawn almost a year ago, and the picking out and planting all sorts of plants today was just as good.
I love it that Anne and I do these things together, for each other. It’s corny, but I love being married to her more and more each day. I really believe that there’s nothing we can’t face together . . . and kick squarely in the nuts!
Thanks to her, we had an insanely productive holiday weekend, even though I was at LosCon on Friday and Saturday. The house looks incredible, and the yard is beautiful. I can’t wait to clean out and reorganize our garage!
Here’s a brief LosCon recap. It’s not the best written thing in the world, but I want to put the information down while it’s fresh in my mind. I’ll make this better some other time.
Overall, I had a very good time. The LosCon is not like the shows I’m used to attending. There isn’t much in the way of organized “entertainment” (like my sketch shows) or “actor talks” (like you see at a Creation show, for example.) This con is more oriented to Science Fiction in its purest and oldest form: books. The people who come to LosCon (even the *shudder* furries) are there to celebrate people like Niven, Pournelle, Heinlein, Ellison, and Herbert. The con features several panels, most of which are incredibly informative and worthwhile. I was on three of them.
Let’s break it down into Friday and Saturday, mmmkay?

Friday:
First Panel – eBooks.
This panel was quite fun. I was about to be elected “moderator,” until I told them all that if I was moderating, we were just going to play cards. It was an informative and entertaining 75 minutes, where we talked about eBooks and Print on Demand as publishing alternatives for hopeful writers. I talked a lot about MonolithPress, and shared my reasons for not choosing eBooks or POD. I was surprised at the turnout, too. There were about 11 people in the very small room, which was set up for about 20.
Event – Reading from Dancing Barefoot and Just A Geek.
This was the single greatest dissapointment of the entire show, and probably one of the greatest dissappointments of the entire year for me, because only 15 people turned out to hear me . . . and 7 of them were my family. I felt rejected, humiliated, and embarrassed.
I asked Anne to bring the kids out to watch me, and it was just awful to stand in a room built for over 100, and face them with no crowd.
“Where is everybody?” Nolan asked.
Out of the mouths of babes.
“Somewhere else,” I said.
“Why?” he said.
“I don’t know, kiddo,” I said, with a brave smile.
“Break a leg,” he said, as I walked up to the stage.
I struggled to put aside my personal feelings of rejection and give a good reading for the people who did show up, but my first three selections just sucked. All I wanted to do was cry. I was so let down, it was a real challenge to keep my focus. I just felt stupid standing on a huge stage, in a cavernous room, listening to my voice echo off the walls.
By the end, though, I read the WFS story, and I felt good about it.
When I finished, I bid my family farewell (hard though it was to face them) and headed to my next panel, which was about Linux. I wandered all over the convention center, until I betrayed all men in the world and asked for directions to the room. Turns out the room was in another building.
Panel 2 – Something about Linux
I was 10 minutes late when I walked into a room that was packed with about 75 people. It was hot, and smelled like a room packed with about 75 people. Many of them were shouting at each other.
I’m going to write a whole article about what a fiasco this panel was, so I’ll just give this summary: it was a live version of a totally unmoderated UseNet flamewar, complete with trolls. My hope was that the non-Linux users (about 20% of the audience) would leave excited and curious about Linux. I told them in my introductory remarks that they’d want to race home and grab Knoppix right away. Instead, they (and I) left that room just wanting to get the hell out of there, and away from the zealots. If it had been my first exposure to the Linux Community, I would never have left Microsoft. It was the most frustrating panel I’ve ever been on in my life.
Evening Event: Hour 25 Talk Show
By 9pm, I was exhausted, but I was excited to be a guest on the Hour 25 talk show. I did Hour 25 way back in the late 80s when it was on KPFK and hosted by Joe Stracyzinski.
The same ballroom that was empty for my reading earlier in the day was packed to the walls. There was an excitement in the air, and it really felt like we were about to participate in something special.
Armin Shimmerman was interviewed before me, and held the stage in the palm of his hand. He was funny, insightful, and informative. His /. karma would have been excellent!
When Armin was done, it was my turn. I walked up on the stage, and stood behind the mic.
“Well, Wil,” the host began, “looking at you right now, I just have to ask . . .”
He paused and looked at me.
“Have you saved any ships this week?”
Oh. This is just fucking perfect. was my first thought.
I’m so glad things have changed since I was last here, on the “Solving the Wesley Problem” panel 15 years ago. was my second.
Dude, you don’t need this shit. Just walk away. was the third.
I hope the anger in my veins didn’t make it into my voice. I don’t think the host intended to embarrass me or make fun of me, but that’s how I felt.
I tried to laugh it off, but I spent the next ten minutes trying not to be defensive. You can listen here for yourself and make up your own minds. I come on around the 19 minute mark, I think.
When I finally got home, it was after midnight, and it took me until well after two to fall asleep.
Saturday
Saturday was much, much better than Friday. I got there at 10 for an autograph session, and over the next couple of hours, I completely sold out the remaining copies of Dancing Barefoot. I did set aside a couple, and I’ll eBay them next week, for anyone who wants to get one for Xmas.)
Panel 1 – Breaking Into Print
My only panel of the day was a total blast. I thought I would talk about how a hopeful author can self-publish their book, but I was with three insanely talented and experienced authors, so I just ended up asking them all sorts of questions about how I can be a better fiction writer. I learned so much, I don’t even know where to begin. When I get some time, I will take my notes and turn them into a column here. I’ll do my best to share what I learned with WWdN readers.
When that panel ended, so did the Con for me. I made it home in record time, and went out to dinner with my wife.

If you’re a fan of SF and Fantasy, and not a collector, I highly recommend LosCon. The people who organize it want you to have a good time, meet people of a like mind, and have fun for a weekend. The panels are simply amazing, and the guests are all fans too, so they hang out in the lobbies and hallways, so it’s really easy to get some one on one time with an author you have admired for years.
For example, it would have been very easy for me to stop Larry Niven and drive him crazy with Ringworld and N*Space questions, if I hadn’t chickened out.
I will certainly go back again, but instead of attending as That Guy From Star Trek, I think I’ll attend next year as just a geek.

Drew from Fark and I are doing this thing for Tech TV on December 9 (more details when the date gets closer) and TTV called today for a pre-interview.
All talk shows have a pre-interview. It’s where a producer asks a future guest lots of questions, to detemine what the host will ask the guest when the guest is actually on the show. That’s what’s on those blue cards that Letterman is always smacking around, and it lets the host “control” the interview better.
(Big industry secret: on most of the late night talk shows, if a guest strays too far from the questions on that card, that guest will never be invited back to the show. I know people who have been shown the cards and told, “[Host] will ask you this, and you’ll say this. Then [Host] will ask this, and you will say this, then [band leader] will say this, then [wacky character] will run in and say this . . .” it’s almost as scripted as Average Joe.)
Well, here’s how lame I am: the pre-interview used up all my creative energy for the day, and I just wasn’t able to make any progress on my rewrite. Which is a bummer for me, because it’s sort of like waiting for the next chapter in a serialized book to come out.
Well, I guess that’s exactly what it is, isn’t it?
I was determined to make some progress, but it was like standing at an old TV with one hand on the rabbit ears, and another on the fine tuning, trying to get enough of the static out of the way to see the show . . . but there was just no way to get a clear picture today.
Eventually, I gave up, and spent the afternoon playing with the server on my desk, breaking and fixing code and junk. I also wasted tons of time at TotalFark. Dudes, if you don’t have a TotalFark membership, you missed out on one of the funniest threads in history today.
When I was done not making any progress installing qmail or understanding DNS, I thought I’d make myself a mix CD on my iBook, with some music to listen to while I did cooking and cleaning later on.
I started out with stuff like Flogging Molly, Radiohead, Get Up Kids, Tenacious D, Chixdiggit, The Cure, Underworld, Pixies, I was even going to put some Iron Maiden on it . . . oh yeah, it was gonna be an alternative rockathon.
But when I sat down to make the playlist, Anne called.
With Anne on my mind, here’s the playlist that I ended up burning:

Pictures Of You — The Cure
Fragile — Sting
A Summer Song — Chad and Jeremy
Jump — Aztec Camera
See A Little Light — Bob Mould
Under The Milky Way — The Church
Going To California — Led Zeppelin
Nothing In This World Can Stop Me Worryin’ Bout That Girl — The Kinks
Whenever You’re On My Mind — Marshall Crenshaw
I’m A Loner Dottie, A Rebel… — The Get Up Kids
Texarkana — R.E.M.
More Than This — Roxy Music
Gold — Spandau Ballet
I’d Rather Go Blind — Etta James
Bad — U2

Yeah. I am such a sissy. But don’t let it get around, okay?