I am so damn handy. Today, I replaced a messed up sensor light which hangs on my garage. Turned the power off and everything. Then I replaced a fixture in the kitchen, and turned my sights on this area under the kitchen window where nothing will grow.
I “planted” 30 pounds of black river stones over the dirt, until I can think of something better to put there.
I was so damn handy around the house, I told my wife to turn on the porno music, because I was comin’ inside, “to get a drink”.
Well, it’s all true except that last part. I wasn’t coming in for a drink! Oh yeah! Yeah baby! Woo!!
Wait. Wait.
That’s not true, either. I came in for a sandwich, and then we went back to Home Despot for more hardware and stuff.
See, the thing is, we’ve lived in our house for 2 years, and we haven’t taken care of any of the things we said we’d take care of when we moved in: the lawn still looks like shit, the ugly wood paneling is still on the walls in the living room and family room, and the ugly brass lamp hangs over the dining room table.
But all of that is about to change. Thanks to the sense of empowerment we got today when I hung that damn light fixture, all by my self, in my big-boy pants, Anne and I have made…A List(tm).
That’s right, folks, A List(tm). On this list is everything we want to do to our house, how much it will cost, and when we’re going to work it out.
Next on the list? Rent a roto-tiller, tear up the ugly-ass lawn, rake out the lumps, dig trenches, install sprinklers, and lay down sod.
Sounds expensive, doesn’t it? It’s not. We can do the whole thing for about 50 cents a square foot, total. Because we’re doing it ourselves, we’ll be saving literally thousands of dollars (which we don’t have, anyway…but I’m hiring Arthur Andersen as my new accountant…I’m an overnight millionaire!)
Once that is done, we will focus our attention on the ugly 1970s-homemade-porn-backdrop-style wood paneling which is currently offending all standards of good taste by hanging in not 1, but 3 rooms in our house.
There’s a rumor that I’m going to have Gallery up and running very, very soon, as well…so that means lots of before and after pictures of our rooms…and pictures of my handyman butt crack.
VOTE!
This is a public service announcement…with guitar!
Tomorrow is our primary election in California. This is just a reminder to all registered California voters to get out there, and make your voice heard!
Personally, I think the only thing worse than not voting at all, is voting without being well-informed, and if you’d like to get some non-partisan info on the various candidates and ballot measures, I’d suggest looking here, and here.
Ass means donkey
I spent the evening watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, on DVD.
Kevin Smith is so awesome. He’s living the dream for all of us who want to be successful in the entertainment industry, while kicking it in the nuts for how lame it can be. I met him a Comic Con two years ago, and (surprise) geeked out at him, and he was really cool to me. I’d really like to work with him, someday.
I’m going to bet that most of the WWDN readers have already seen this, but if you haven’t seen the DVD, yet, you must get your hands on one, by hook or by crook, so you can watch all the deleted scenes (there’s something like 90 minutes, or so of deleted stuff), and see all the spiffy extras on disc 2. There’s this thing called “The Genius of Will Farrell”, that made me feel totally bush league as an improviser, and there’s many precious minutes of all the girls running around in their undies. Always a bonus.
I blame this DVD, and Day of Defeat for keeping me up until almost 2 AM, and I haven’t even watched the movie with the commentary, yet. I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do with my wife tomorrow, when I can’t keep my eyes open when we take Ferris to class!
Turtle Boy
Seven things I am happy about today:
- When I woke up this morning, my wife was spooning me.
- I refilled my birdfeeder, which hangs just outside my window, and my backyard is filled with birds.
- One of the birds, a cute little finch, has been hopping from the birdfeeder to the window ledge, and looking in at me all day long.
- My cat, Biko, keeps hopping up on the couch, and staring at the bird, who doesn’t fly away!
- I installed a new microphone, and recorded some cool dialogue for the newest installment of Farkman!
- I’m this close to finishing up the last installment of SpongeBob Vega$ Pants.
- When I came home from work late Thursday night, Nolan was obviously happy to see me, and he kept climbing up onto my back, following me around the house, talking to me about all the things he did during the day, and telling me that he loves me.
And, a Thought for Today:
“Peace starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us.”