Boot to the Head

Wow. Can you believe that there’s just 3 days until Christmas? Anne and I are going absolutely crazy, trying to get all the holiday baking and shopping finished, wrapping all the presents, and stuff. It totally sucks, but we have so much stuff to do, we can’t go to any of this weekend’s holiday parties.
I was up until 3 this morning, painting ornaments, and cleaning up the kitchen, and I came across one of the greatest comedy albums of all time: The Frantics’ Boot to the Head. I had this album when I was in 9th grade, and my friend Ryan and I would listen to it constantly. We were always quoting “Boot to the Head” and “Driving Chicks Mad” and “I Shit a Piece of Pie”…you know how annoying 14 year old boys are? So we were like that, but multiplied times being dorks, and comedy album weenies. We were such complete dorks, that, get this…Ryan’s mom had a drill team, and we never scored. I mean, we were constantly surrounded by athletic girls in spandex, who were doing the splits, and we never even got to first base. It’s amazing that we ever talked to any girls, at all. Even more amazing that we now have beautiful wives and families.
So when I finally went to bed this morning, I’d left a plate out with some paint on it, that’d I’d been using to mix colors for some ornaments. When I came out to the living room this morning, there were all these little red kitty prints all over my dining room table (where I’ll be signing those eBay pictures…), and all over my kitchen floor and counters. Okay, Felix? Bad kitty. My house looks like an Urban Legend…”The Ghostly Cat” or something.
Oh, speaking of auctions, there are two ending in about 2 hours (here and here), and I won’t be home to send the immediate “congratulations” email, because I am going out to visit my gandma for a few hours. So if you’re the winner, don’t worry. I’ll get in touch with you tonight. 🙂
So that’s it, for now. I really have to get back to painting, baking, doing the laundry, and mailing out the Christmas cards. I am, without a doubt, the world’s biggest procrastinator.
There is a very good chance that I won’t have much time to update until after Tuesday(unless I find some time to do an RFB Holiday show), so, I would like to wish all of the readers of WWDN a very, very, Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, or a Happy Yule, or Solstice.
I wish you all the most wonderful New Year, and thank you all for your support since I launched this lame website back in Summer, and I hope that you’ll continue to stop by and see what’s up.
Be nice to someone, and call your mom. She’s worried about you.

Stormy Weather

Wow. We are in the midst of a HUGE thunderstorm tonight. Massive thunder and lightning, rain pouring down so hard the gutters are overflowing…(I really need to clean those out…my friend Darin saw grass growing out of one of them a few days ago)
So it’s been a busy night…I made 6 dozen cookies, and painted a ton of Christmas ornaments, because every year, Anne and I paint an ornament, date it, and give it to our friends and family. We’ve done wooden snowmen, trains, jack-n-the-boxes, and stuff. I won’t say what we’re doing this year, because my friends and family come and read this website. (My friend Seth, who directed the recently-selected-for-a-pretty-big-deal-film-festival-in-France “The Good Things” said to me yesterday, “I don’t need to ever talk to you anymore. I just read about your life on your website.” Well, Seth, just so you know, I don’t talk about everything here, so you should still call, and occasionally take me out for a Guinness.)
While waiting for things to bake and whatnot, I also managed to move the RFB, mess up the stream, fix the stream, and I think I’ve messed it up again. Fear not, however! I have the help of the intrepid guys (well, one of them who doesn’t mind my lameness) at Shoutcast, who’s offered to help me out.
I’ve also written another story for BBSpot, and made one last eBay auction. I got TONS of emails asking for more Star Trek stuff, so I put up one more picture. This auctioning thing is working out really well…I’ll be sure to put more stuff up as I find it, when I’m cleaning out my garage next week.
I think that’s all for tonight. I’m going to go finish painting, and hit the sack. Have a great night, everybody.

Movin’ The Burrito

Extra special thanks to the cool cats at Shoutcast!!
Live365 was skipping, and sucking, and all that junk, so I’ve moved the RFB.
The new HI-FI stream is here.
The new LO-Fi stream is here.
The RFB page hasn’t been updated, yet, so use these links right now, if ya don’t mind. Also, you can search for “Burrito” at Shoutcast, and see what song is currently playing…very, very cool, indeed.

One down, two to go…

The first auction has ended! I’ll write all about my experiences with it just as soon as the transaction is completed.
I hope everyone is having a great night!

I am Jack’s Holiday Program

I just got back from watching Nolan’s holiday program at his school.
Nolan is in 5th grade this year, so it’s the last elementary school holiday program I’ll see for quite some time.
Well, I guess I could just go hang out there, like that guy who graduated in 1995, but still hangs out on the football field at the high school…c’mon, you know him…but that’d just be lame.
Anne and I were actually very excited to see the program this year, and I felt badly for all the years I sat there for an hour, enjoying it when it was one of my step-kids up there, but really just wanting it to be over…so let this be a lesson to all of you who are the parents of a 3rd grader: You only get 2 more of these, and you’ll miss them when they’re gone…so enjoy it.
So I’m watching today’s show with a certain sadness, but excitement, because I love to watch my boys do things like this, so I’m even more hyper-aware than I usually am about the awful behavior of the people around me. (Oh, yeah. You don’t want to see a movie, play, or performance with me. I’m that guy who gets super pissed at the people who talk, or leave their cell phones on, or eat that popcorn with their mouths wide open…I have actually gotten so pissed in theatres, that I’ve left the movie, gotten my money back, and waited for the damn thing to come out on DVD, so I can watch it alone. Dammit.)
The cafetorium at the school is filled to overflowing, and it’s 50 degrees today in LA, so everyone is bundled up in their finest parkas, taking up twice as much area as they normally would, and the place is just, well, stinky. Imagine a subway in winter, during evening rush, and add to that the smell that is unique to an elementary school…and you’ve got it. Anne got there before me, and staked out a good seat, because every year, we end up getting there right as it starts, and standing in the back, with all of the other parents who overslept, or took too long for breakfast, or who had to grab a quickie once the kids were at school.
Anne got really good seats, as far as being able to see the stage goes…but as far as people you’re sitting by? Not so good. In the running for most annoying audience member are the woman sitting next to me, who kept loudly farting (really awful, stinky ones, that just linger…but they sounded good, reverberating off the metal cafeteria chairs), the two little kids sitting behind us, to the right, who did not stop talking the entire time, except when their mother told them that a good way to stay occupied would be to stand on the floor and bang on their chairs in time to the music, and the kid immediately behind me, who had one of those little kid colds, and coughed and sneezed throughout the whole performance. I especially loved it when he sneezed all over the back of my neck, and his mother didn’t even make a showing of apologizing, or offering something to wipe it off…so I used my sleeve. Nice.
All of the classes were great, and the kids were just adorable. The theme this year was Peace and Diversity, which is very funny, considering that I live in the most reactionary, demagogic Republican area in the freakin’ world. (All of my neighbors had those offensive “Protect Marriage” signs last year, when the homophobes were trying to make it certain that marriage should only be between men and women. Because those marriages always succeed. And we have to keep the gays from soiling that sacred, unspoiled institution, right?) Sorry. mini-rant. I’m back now.
My absolute favorite moment was when these kids were reading poems about winter. I think they were 4th graders, maybe 3rd graders. Anyway, there are 4 kids up there, all in their holiday finest, reading poems, like “The Snowman” by Shel Silverstein. The last kid, who looks a lot like Dewey from “Malcolm in the Middle”, and is wearing a checkered shirt and non-matching clip-on tie (it was so damn cute, I couldn’t stand it), and he recites, from memory, a poem by elementary school staple Jack Prelutsky. No small feat for a 3rd of 4th grader, okay? This kid does a great job. I mean, it’s really, really good, and he is doing it from memory. When he’s done, he looks towards where I guess his family is sitting, and he shrugs, like, “Well, that’s about as good as it gets”, and picks his nose and eats it.
It was awesome. I realized this morning how much I’m going to miss these things, and I got to enjoy farts, sneezes, metal-chair-drums, and the nose-picking kid.
All is right with the world.

RFB

I’m warming up for a supercool Radio Free Burrito Xmas show, so the RFB is streamin’ today. Check out the mix, and let me know what you think: [email protected]