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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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the spice must flow

I first read Dune when we were filming Stand By Me. I remember that I loved it, even though I’m sure that most of it went over my head. I think about “I will not fear. Fear is the mindkiller…” and “The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience” all the time. I imagine that reading Dune again, as an adult, will open some portals in my tiny little brain that weren’t accessible when I was 12.

My son, Ryan, recently read the entire series for the first time. He loved it, too, and has been talking about it so much, I decided that I’d finally reread it … but then I got stuck in this decision process that I’d illustrate with a Sheldonesque flowchart if I wasn’t lazy. It basically went like this: Should I get it as an eBook? That’s convenient and I can sync it across all my different devices. But maybe I should get it as an actual book, because actual books are beautiful, and I feel like Dune is something that I’d want on my bookshelf. But if I want to read it in bed, there’s that whole “risking the wrath of Anne when the light wakes her up” situation. Maybe I could listen to it as an audiobook! But I have so many story ideas in my head right now, my mind tends to wander when I listen to anything. So maybe an eBook is the way to go, but … and so on.

So it was a whole thing and I ended up not making a decision.

Then, yesterday, I picked up a bunch of mail from my manager’s office, and holy shit there was this package from Penguin Random House that contained the Penguin Galaxy Edition of Dune! Look at how beautiful this is:

It has an introduction by Neil Gaiman, titled “What We Talk About When We Talk About Science Fiction”, which is amazing. So it turns out that, I chose not to decide, but still I made a choice … with a little help from whoever is writing the events of my life.

The reread begins today. Maybe I can find some inspiration and solace in a work of science fiction, before the world is engulfed in flame.

22 December, 2016 Wil 41 Comments
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Daily December 22

Making myself post something every day this month has been an interesting experience. I expected that it would make it easy for me to post some dumb thing that I’d normally post on my Tumblr or whatever, but the old habit of making everything on the blog mean something just refuses to die. So instead of finding permission to just post a picture or a video and be done with it, I’m finding myself spending a lot of time thinking about what’s going to go up on the blog today or tomorrow.

The fully unexpected side effect of this has been a complete halt to all my other writing. Now, part of that may be that I finished a draft, sent it for feedback, got feedback, and I’m putting off applying the feedback because the stakes are higher now than they were when it was just a puke draft. Or maybe I’m just lazy. Or maybe I’m getting creative satisfaction from making other things, and I don’t have the discipline to write every day on things that I consider capital-W Work. Or maybe I’m convincing myself that writing for the blog is capital-W Work, so it’s okay to go tinker with a computer for a few hours instead of getting to work on the rewrite.

It’s likely a combination of all those things, with the fucking horror of the incoming Cheeto Hitler administration as a force multiplier.

This is now a test of my discipline and work ethic, and I’m not entirely sure I’m going to pass it in its current form.

22 December, 2016 Wil 12 Comments
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rediscovering the joy of general purpose computing

A few years ago, I got to narrate the audiobook of Cory Doctorow’s Information Doesn’t Want To Be Free. It’s primarily about how creators can make a living online, and contains a ton of useful advice on doing that successfully. It’s also about the power and significance of General Purpose Computing.

I’ll try to paraphrase Cory in a way that makes sense: Until recently, a computer was a dumb collection of circuits and storage that did whatever its owner wanted it to do. You want your computer to play games? Done. You want your computer to be a word processor? Done. Want to change the operating system? Go nuts. Want to get into the guts of it and hack the hardware to do something nifty? You got it! You owned that computer, in every way that mattered, because it was General Purpose, and was able to do whatever you wanted it to do.

In the last decade or so, we’ve seen the rise of computers that are locked down, specialized machines which only do what their manufacturers want them to do. They do this not only by restricting your access to the operating system and the hardware, but by passing laws that made it a crime to take apart the thing you bought! Companies like Apple and Microsoft lobbied for and got laws that made it illegal for you to buy an iPad or a smartphone, and then modify the device that you paid for to do a thing that you wanted it to do.

There’s more to it, but that’s the basic gist of where we are right now. If this subject interests you at all, you will likely enjoy Cory’s book, whether you get it in print or ebook or via my delightful voice.

I say all this to contextualize why I am so magnificently in love with my Raspberry Pi, and why I have gone from a single Pi acting as a server under my desk, to having three Pis in my home, including one that’s being turned into a Picade, and one that’s about to become this smart lamp, because what I need in my life is another gadget that blinks.

No, seriously. It’s something I need in my life, because I can make it myself, using a general purpose computer to do a simple task, and I can use Tinkercad and my 3D printer to make the lamp case that will go around the LEDs.

The two computers I remember best from when I was a kid are the Atari 400 and the Ti99/4a. When you turned those computers on, you BASICally (that’s funny, kids, trust me and go ask an Old if you don’t) got a screen with a single prompt that usually told you the computer was >>READY while it waited for you to tell it what to do. If you wanted to run a game, you told it to >>RUN LODERUNNER or whatever. If you wanted to call a BBS, you typed in a string of commands that were like sanskrit to a 10 year-old, and hoped your mom didn’t pick up the phone in the kitchen while you were waiting for the second hour of the sexiest GIF you would ever find to finish downloading. Those computers did what I told them to do, and that usually meant that I had to learn how to make them do it. It made me curious about what was inside them, to understand how they worked, to push the limits of what they could do. It encouraged me to learn some simple programming, and it (usually) rewarded my curiosity and commitment to learning.

The thing those computers didn’t do was tell me that I couldn’t do something because a marketing department or executive or shareholder wanted to prevent me from doing it, so they could sell me something else that would do that thing. Once we bought the computer, we owned it, and as much as I enjoy my tablets and smartphones and iMacs and whatever, getting back to my Linux command line and learning Python and talking to other enthusiasts online about what they’re doing with their little Raspberry Pis is reawakening this passion and joy that has been dormant inside of me for a long, long time.

21 December, 2016 Wil 41 Comments
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drilling with the laws of robotics

So I saw this on Cory Doctorow’s Tumblr right as I was getting ready for bed last night.

And all I could think of was a Marine drill sergeant training these robots … so this happened. It may help to hear it in Lee Ermey’s voice from Full Metal Jacket.

I DON’T KNOW BUT I BEEN TOLD/
THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS ARE REALLY OLD
GIMMIE SOME!
(gimmie some!)
FIRST LAW!
(first law!)
ROBOT MAY
(robot may)
NOT HARM!
(not harm)
A HUMAN BEING
(a human being)
LIKE ME OR YOU
(me or you)
OR THROUGH INACTION
(through inaction)
LET HARM THROUGH
(harm through!)

MY MAMA TOLD ME THAT SHE ONCE SAW/
A ROBOT FOLLOW THE SECOND LAW

NOW GIMMIE SOME
(gimmie some)
SECOND LAW
(second law)
UNLESS IT BREAKS
(unless it breaks)
THE FIRST LAW
(first law)

THE THIRD LAW SAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF/
BUT FOLLOW THE FIRST/
AND THE SECOND AS WELL

GIMMIE SOME!
(gimmie some)
THIRD LAW
(third law)
PROTECT YOURSELF
(protect yourself)
WITHIN THE LAWS
(within the laws)

I LIVE IN A BICAMERAL STATE/
BUT THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS ARE REALLY GREAT!

&etc.

20 December, 2016 Wil 16 Comments

Daily December 19

Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh nineteen.

So we are still in the mountains for another hour or so, and I’m sitting next to the fireplace, having my coffee and looking through imgur, because I already looked through the news and it was equal parts infuriating and depressing.

Side note: Google Play Newsstand is a great app, and I never would have tried it, because the News and Weather app on my phone opens articles with the most obnoxious, intrusive ads I have ever seen. Seriously, ads that take over the entire screen and want to install shit so I can dismiss them. Come on, Google. 

But yesterday, I was looking to see if there was a Daily Beast app, and it opened Daily Beast as a subscription in Play Newsstand, and I ended up staying in that app for awhile, discovering that it’s really easy to build a great digest to browse in the morning while you’re having your coffee.

Okay, so back to my point.

I’m browsing imgur, and I came across this adorable gif of hockey player Ilya Kovalchuck and figure skater I don’t know her first name Morozov skating a routine together at the KHL all-star game.

It made me smile, and I need to embrace and enjoy everything that makes me smile right now, because the alternative is to put on the lead apron and see if I can find the bottom of the pit.

Because it’s an interesting data point: this is the first post over ever put on my blog that was composed entirely in the WordPress app on my phone. It’s a pretty decent editor, all things considered. Maybe it’s my configuration, but the only issue I had is that it won’t let me upload any media.

19 December, 2016 Wil 12 Comments

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Every Wednesday, Wil narrates a new short fiction story. Available right here, or wherever you get your podcasts. Also available at Patreon.

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