WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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Trump’s reckless “second amendment” comment isn’t just a threat to Secretary Clinton

I wrote this yesterday. Since it was published, I’ve read a lot of columns from people who had the same thoughts I did, more or less, with one significant difference: a consensus has emerged that Trump knew exactly what he was doing, exactly what he was saying, and that this wasn’t just what he thought was a joke. Trump has a documented history of inciting violence at his rallies, and everyone who is in Trump’s base (and adjacent to it, in the larger Conservative movement) knows precisely what someone means when they say wink wink second amendment wink. Look no further than the attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords by a lunatic with a gun who bought into the paranoid Right Wing fantasy, peddled by the NRA, that aggrieved citizens can take up arms against their government if they believe the government is “tyrannical” (which is entirely subjective, of course). So with that context:

I don’t think Donald Trump sincerely believes that anyone will actually go shoot Hillary Clinton. I don’t think he was explicitly saying Hey someone go shoot her. I think he was trying to make what he thought was a joke, but because he’s such a complete asshole, it wasn’t funny.

But that doesn’t matter, because the threat that he made today isn’t limited to Secretary Clinton. When someone in the position he is in — a celebrity entertainer who is the Republican nominee for president — suggests that not only would it be acceptable for the Second Amendment Crowd to go take care of her, but laughs about it, he is normalizing violent behavior, on a national stage.

Someone who wants to go shoot Secretary Clinton doesn’t need Donald Trump to tell him (because it’s almost always a man who does this sort of thing) to go do it. But what about the angry alt-right guy who wants to go use his Second Amendment Remedy to take care of another high-profile woman who bothers him? What about the unhinged guy who hates me, or John Scalzi, or Jessica Valenti, or Anita Sarkeesian? What about that guy, who is waiting to hear someone say what the voices in his head are saying? How much did the danger to us and people like us go up today, because Donald Trump normalized and amplified his thinking?

We never know what it’s going to be that sets a dangerous and mentally ill person off. Charles Manson heard The White Album, and in his disturbed mind, that was the call he needed to hear to set his murderous rage into action. John Hinckley was inspired by a movie. David Berkowitz was moved to kill by a barking dog.

My point is that there are mentally unstable people out there who don’t need a lot of encouragement to turn their fantasies into real life tragedies,and Donald Trump may have spoken loudly and clearly to them today. That is truly dangerous, and — like so many things he’s said and done — it further disqualifies him from holding elected office.

10 August, 2016 Wil 72 Comments
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soothes the soul and calms the pain

I have a private journal that I use to track stuff in my life. It really helps me maintain perspective and is super useful for those times my depression is a giant asshole about everything. Looking back over the last week and even a little bit farther, I see this pattern of feeling content, empowered, productive, and just generally happy.

I had a super productive week, and if I were grading myself just like I do at the end of the month, it’s A+ all the way across. I wrote almost 7000 words on a couple of different things, I ran nearly 5K four out of five days (and seem to have not only increased my endurance and improved my conditioning, but also reduced my recovery time!), I went out to a play last night, watched a bunch of Daredevil on Netflix (Anne and I are late to the party, but we’re 8 episodes in and loving it), a few classic (and terrible) movies, and I’m reading Cat’s Cradle every night. I’m finding inspiration all over the place, and I feel like I have found my way back to The Art, which is what I desperately needed to do. It’s been almost a year to the day that I realized exactly how distracted I was, and how far away I was from what I need to do, creatively, as an artist and as a person, to be happy and fulfilled. It’s taken a long time to get back here, and while I don’t regret any of the cool stuff I’ve been part of for the last couple years, I didn’t realize how much I missed being here until this week.

Yeah, I wrote a couple days ago about feeling frustrated in my on-camera acting career, (a big shoutout to everyone who minimized my feelings as ‘whining’! You’re neat!) but that’s one of those natural human emotions that people feel. The Internet can make me feel like I’m not allowed to feel frustrated or unhappy, because I have a really great life, but I remember talking to Chris Hardwick about how I was feeling really, really lousy about a whole bunch of things near the beginning of July, and he said to me, “You know, it’s okay to feel sad and frustrated from time to time, even when you’re generally happy and successful. That’s what being a person is about.”

My name is Wil, and I’m a person.

 

 

6 August, 2016 Wil 59 Comments
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here I dreamt I was an architect

that's what acting isI was talking with a friend last night, who is a fantastically talented and successful actor. We are both in our 40s, and we can’t seem to get our careers — which were once exploding with work — back where we want them. We’re both having the same frustrations and hitting the same closed doors, even though he is way way way more successful than I am. During our conversation, I said, “I’ve been doing all this stuff for the last few years that is mostly transactional, or informational, instead of creative and artistic. I’ve had some great acting jobs, but none of them have translated into other acting opportunities.

“I love the stuff I’ve done online, and I’m super proud of Tabletop, but it isn’t artistically fulfilling. It isn’t creative like acting and writing is.”

He mentioned some big pictures that he had auditions for recently, and asked me if I’d read for them.

“Nope,” I said. “I couldn’t even get an audition. It’s really frustrating, and if I’m being honest, it’s depressing as fuck.”

We talked about creating projects that we can act in, and I had this epiphany. “I love acting, and I want to continue to be an on-camera actor, even if it’s just one last great job … but my heart is in writing, because I don’t have to ask anyone for permission to be a writer.”

I go back and forth between giving up entirely on having on-camera work, and focusing on writing and voice acting, and working as hard as I can to get back in front of the camera. or just isn’t interested in me, but I keep looking at people who did good work, seemed to disappear for awhile, and then came back to do even more good work. Somehow, I just have to convince the people who can give me permission to work in their movies to give me a chance.

But until that happens, I can keep writing, because nobody can tell me that I can’t do it.

I’m writing every day. I’ve pulled about 4000 words out of my brains this week, split between two different stories. They’ll both go into the short story collection that I’m writing, to be published later this year, and I don’t have to struggle to get permission to do that.

…I really want to do more on-camera acting work, though. I miss it. I wish there was some way to convince Hollywood to give me a chance, because everything I’ve been doing the last several years just isn’t working.

 

 

3 August, 2016 Wil 67 Comments
Photo Credit Tony Case on Flickr
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It’s my 44th Birthday. Time for a check-in.

Wil and WilToday, I complete my 44th trip around the Sun. It’s only taken me a little over 16,000 days, so my pace is pretty solid.

Most birthdays since I turned 30 have just been another X in the box, more or less, but this one is the first since I made a deliberate choice to reboot my life, so now I can clearly and honestly assess how that’s been going (which I guess is what I’ve done every month since I started, but whatever. It sounds profound so there.)

One year ago today, I was at GenCon, having the worst birthday and worst GenCon of my life. I should have been having fun, playing games, and celebrating Tabletop, but I spent the entire convention meeting with game publishers who had been lied to by the same person (who I thought was a trusted friend) who had been lying to me for three years, using me and his position as a trusted part of Tabletop to advance his own goals. While I was trying to deal with the emotional effects of being so totally and utterly betrayed, I also had to try my best to set it aside and save not just my show, but dozens of relationships that I didn’t even know had been severely damaged. I sat down with people who didn’t know me, who I didn’t know, and had to listen to them tell me about all the lies they’d been told about me, about my show, and about my personal values. It was horrible. I had a terrible time, and by the time the day was over, I just wanted to drink beer until I couldn’t feel feelings.

What a difference a year makes. Instead of trying not to cry all day, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet of my home. Instead of struggling to find some enthusiasm to make more Tabletop, I’m creating and writing the stories I’ve been wanting to tell for months. Instead of cleaning up someone else’s mess, I’m spending the day with the people I love.

Being betrayed by someone I loved like family was one of the most painful and devastating things I’ve ever experienced. But I can take something good out of it: it forced me to look at what I was doing with my life, how I was coping with the way I was feeling, and why I had allowed all of it to happen in the first place.

It forced me to get serious about dealing with all that unhappiness, and ask myself what is important to me? What do I want to do with my life? What can I do to take control of my life? How can I be responsible for my happiness?

It’s an ongoing process. Some days are harder than others. I make mistakes, but I learn from them. Months later, I still have profound realizations about my life, my art, and where they intersect all the time, thanks to the clarity and focus my life reboot has given me.

I never would have expected my 44th birthday to be a Big One™, but here we are. Let’s check-in and see how my seven things are working out.

Continue reading… →

29 July, 2016 Wil 115 Comments
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a truck paper rhino

This thing I’m working on has lived in my head for about a year, so it’s kind of stale and not as interesting to me as it was when I had the idea. But I decided that writing and finishing what I start is really important, just like knowing the difference between “I’m bored with this” and “this is genuinely not good” when assessing whether or not to keep on going.

There’s a point in my creative writing process where I always decide that the whole thing is shit, I am shit, the world is shit, and I should set the whole thing on fire. It took me years to realize that it’s just a normal part of my process, and it’s more the frustration of wanting the thing to be finished, than it is any of the other things. I used to worry that this thing sucked, and therefore I sucked, and Carrie’s mom was right: they’re all gonna laugh at me.

But this is the hard part of the work (and it’s still better work than real work) and everything is worth doing is hard. Getting past this, I think, is what separates professionals from everyone else. I’ve committed to finishing a book of short fiction by the end of this year, and the only way that happens is when I do the work.

So I’m doing the work.

The big challenge today, so I could get past this step where I hate it and hate myself and hate the whole idea, was forcing the main character to tell me what his primary conflict was, and why he cared about The Thing He Cares About (and, consequently, why we are supposed to care about it). So I had him ask a character who wants something from him, literally, “Why me?” And we found out, together, what was missing, and what was making me hate this thing. Now that the question is answered, I can finish the draft I didn’t write very long today. It was only a few hours of work, and I only got 470 words down when I clicked save for the day, but that’s more than I had before I started. And, to be honest, once I got into this scene that is forced me to define exactly what was missing from my protagonist, it was really fun to do the work.

At the moment, this draft is mostly crap. But it’s crap I can fix and turn into something I’m proud of, instead of a series of blank pages.

So.

I screencapped the title image from MetroLyrics, because I thought it looked cool.

27 July, 2016 Wil 33 Comments

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It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton


Every Wednesday, Wil narrates a new short fiction story. Available right here, or wherever you get your podcasts. Also available at Patreon.

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Visit Wil Wheaton Books dot Com for free stories, eBooks, and lots of other stuff I’ve created, including The Day After and Other Stories, and Hunter: A short, pay-what-you-want sci-fi story.

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