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I spent way too much time on this.

I. Freaking. LOVE. Dad jokes, and every single Rick Grimes Dad Joke meme I’ve seen has made me laugh harder than I thought it would. So I thought about this dumb dad joke tonight, and decided that I’d make a Rick Grimes Dad Joke of my own.

I suck at Photoshop (or, in my case, GIMP), so the font isn’t as clear as I wanted it to be, but this still makes me laugh:

Rick Grimes Dad Joke

It’s good to be easily amused, kids.

texts from wife

  • Anne: The weather guy just said there’s a 70% chance of rain tomorrow.
  • Me: I just checked Weather Underground, Weather.com, and the Weather Channel. They all say 79° and sunny.
  • Anne: Yeah, I just checked that too. I think he made a mistake.
  • Me: I think he’s the worst weather guy ever.
  • Anne: I think he’s confused.
  • Me: Yell at the TV that he’s a stupid dummy.
  • Anne:
  • Me: He won’t hear you, but he’ll know.

I will rejoice as the madness consumes him.

Tonight, Anne and I took some friends who are visiting from out of town to ride the Ghost Train in Griffith Park. Unlike the Haunted Hayride, it’s not designed to be scary, just to be fun. We had a great time, and it was delightful. HOWEVER  …

…while we waited in the line, we were subjected to a nightmarish collection of Kidz Bop Halloween songs. This unspeakably horrible experience lead me to resolve that, when I am King Of The Universe, the asshole who made Kidz Bop a thing will be forced to live the rest of his life in a dark, damp, inescapable pit of misery where the Kidz Bop music he vomited upon an innocent and undeserving world plays on infinite repeat.

I will rejoice as the madness consumes him.