for all you last-minute shoppers out there…

While you're out doing your last minute holiday shopping, you may happen upon a little device known as The Slap Chop. You may have seen it on TV, and you may have heard that it purports to: "Chop up vegetables, nuts, & fruits, quickly and easily" with just a few simple slaps. And who doesn't like slapping their food around into ever-smaller pieces?

Now, some of you may wonder if this gizmo actually fulfills all of the nearly-unbelievable claims it makes, thereby making it a worthwhile gift for that lucky person on your list who you've put off shopping for, and who already has as many Chia Pets as any single person could be expected to care for.

Well, Popular Mechanics says maybe not so much:

The Slap Chop produces inconsistent, indiscriminate chunks, foodstuffs wedge in its numerous nooks and crannies, and it consumes as much kitchen real estate as a coffee grinder. 

On the other hand…

Happy shopping, everyone.

No endorsement of the product mentioned should be assumed or implied. Use of Slap Chop does not automatically guarantee funky hip hop singing and dancing ability. In fact, you're probably better off spending your money on something else, and just watching the video over and over again, until you feel the tingling warmth of insanity spreading across your delicious brain.

66 thoughts on “for all you last-minute shoppers out there…”

  1. I certainly appreciate the post! I walk by this thing every time I walk into Walgreens and I’m tempted to get one. Since the Slap Chop guy was arrested for getting into a fight with a prostitute, that kinda dampened my enthusiasm. No connection I realize, but none the less it did. I consider this stellar technical advice from Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher – and – chef impresario Wil, so that is good enough for me!

  2. Ha. I’d missed this in the great wide world of the intarwebz. Thanks for posting, had me laughing in a season when I can use all the laughs I can get.

  3. Well I hadn’t seen this (and oddly enough, nothing was missing from my life). But that’s why I come here – you introduce me to a much more sophisticated world… uhhh… Anyway, the world of the infomercial… Somehow they look silly during the daylight hours. Like vampires they just don’t belong here, but in the wee hours of the morning when people are up late trying to identify that hunger in their soul and will believe anything can fill it – even “Slap Chop”. Anyway I thought the video was going to be of you giving us a demo Wil – THAT would have been funny. How come you never give us home movies??? Is it some SAG rule?
    All these kitchen gadgets. I just have a big knife I call The Salad Maker (actually it’s the The Salad Maker II now). Kind of like the widow-maker, but I’m vegan so it has never tasted blood. Closest to that was pomegranate juice that runs in the little blood-collection tray of my cutting board and grosses me out.
    Anyway, Happy Holidays, Mr. Wil!

  4. Yes, it’s 6 months old. And yes, it’s still funny. I love it! My company just had our Christmas party, complete with the white elephant gift exchange. Guess what gift I submitted? Of course, I just had to attach a card that said “You’re gonna love my gift.”

  5. I actually got a knock-off slap-chop last xmas. I’m not too ashamed to say it’s actually handy when prepping a bunch of veggies (carrots, celery, onions, garlic) for chilies and soups. Not so good with tomatoes and fresh herbs but everyone says they love my nuts! :)

  6. Oh for the love of all things sacred. I just got myself yelled at…because I was laughing so loud at this that my mom woke up and discovered I was still awake. I was supposed to be in bed an hour or so ago. And now I’m not sure that I’ll be able to go to sleep with that firmly implanted in my brain.
    Side Note: I can’t see the Slap-Chop or its commercials without remembering what happened when I told my mom and little sister that the guy got arrested. My little sister had the car mirror on the passenger side flipped down, and she looked at me in the mirror and went “Guess she didn’t love his nuts.” There is hope for her yet. 😀

  7. Seriously… “crimes against Scientology”?!
    Man, where do I sign up for those?
    I took as asprin today, does that count as a crime?
    Ya know, that’s why I always worried about being a Paladin – if you found yourself in a world where something moronic like Scientology was the law – you’d have to abide by it – even uphold it, and I can’t abide by stupid shite like that.
    Go Vince go!

  8. I first saw this version ON MY TELEVISION, not on the internets. It was insanely surreal. They ran this one (but didn’t have the Electric Boogaloo or whatever that was bit in the middle) and then ran the “normal” version right after it.
    Strangest. Commercial. Break. Ever.

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