Over on my Tumblr thingy, someone asked me if I have ever met any of the original Star Trek cast. I said
Not only have I met them, I am privileged to call many of them my friends. George has been a mentor to me since 1987, and he only found out (because I told him) last year that I’ve been modeling my choices and interaction with fans after what I saw him do for so many years.
You probably know that my father is an abusive, bullying, piece of shit who terrorized me my entire childhood before going out of his way to be cruel to me when I was really struggling with all the attention I got as a teenager. So it was in that environment that I first met George and Walter and Nichelle, and they all treated me with love and kindness that I had never gotten from any of the adults in my life (save my Aunt Val). They made sure I knew that I was part of a family, now, if I wanted to be, and that they accepted me just the way I was.
I had never experienced that before. Attention, approval, even basic affection were all conditional and never freely given in my home. I lived in a house with four other people, but I didn’t have a family because my father wouldn’t let me into the family he made with my brother and sister; I was a thing my mom used to chase her dreams of fame, and — worst of all — they are emotionally immature narcissists who hated each other so much, I got put on her “team” without my knowledge or consent, and my dad treated me accordingly.
It was just an awful, painful, lonely existence that was only made better at all by my Star Trek family, who made me feel loved and valued for 10 hours a day. And that didn’t just start and end on my set; it was handed down to us from the original series cast (well, most of them, anyway) and I do my best now, as a 51 year-old Legacy Trek Cast Member, to be for the new cast members who George and Frakes were and are for me.
I’ve always known, but didn’t grok until recently, that when we are part of Star Trek, we are given the tremendous privilege to carry something precious that deeply matters to millions of people across generations. What we do with it, and the privilege of carrying it, is up to us; there is no wrong way to do it (some folks just do the job and move on, that’s fine). The way I choose to carry it and share it with all the people I interview on Ready Room is inspired by George and Frakes: Star Trek is bigger than any single one of us, and it has the power to change the world. That is an awesome responsibility and privilege, for those of us who choose to accept it. I still want to make them proud, I probably will for the rest of my life.
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Thank you, Wil. I always love hearing your Star Trek stories and your insights into life in general.
LLAP Wil. And long live your blog.
I know DeForest was in the premier episode of TNG, but did you get to interact with him at all? Did you get to spend time with Leonard at all?
I got to chat with De once or twice, same with Leonard. They were both so kind and generous with their time and attention, but I was just so young and so intimidated by being in their presence, all I remember is the awe.
I absolutely love the family nature that surrounds the majority of the Trek cast!
This may require another blog post to answer but given that the Star Trek set was where you felt respected and loved, why did you leave when you did? I feel like you may have addressed this in Just a Geek or maybe a Dancing Barefoot story, but it’s escaping me.
Obviously, I’m not Wil, but I think he wanted to do some movies and was trying to get some consideration for that, but I think there was some issues with the writers/producers because of it. But I’m probably completely wrong
I talk about this at length in Still Just A Geek, available wherever you get your books.
I have always admired your talent and your humanity. Is there a way I can be notified of new blog posts?
Somewhere around here, there’s a link that lets you get email notifications, but it’s been so long since I installed it, I don’t remember where it is.
Hi! I wondered the same thing. I’ve searched this site looking for the “get email notifications” link, but haven’t found it. I followed the “manage subscriptions” link from a different WordPress site that I follow. Once I got logged into WordPress, I had access to all the WordPress blogs I follow, and was able to find more. That is where I added WilWheatondotNet from. I hope this helps!
I follow Wil on Goodreads and his posts are often on there as well, and I linked to his blog from there.
Well said. Sometimes we have to make a new home and family when our birth one is toxic. 💜🩵 I love how you bravely speak of your troubles and issues to help others see they aren’t alone in their struggles. Thank you. Best wishes for your continued success, Michelle David
I am an only child and grew up loved and cared for by my mom and dad but being the shortest kid in my grade and overweight and having bright red hair and super intelligent, I was bullied and never really had many friends. When my dad and I watched TNG I viewed Wesley as my older cooler brother and it was awesome to feel seen. Thank you for bringing him to life.
Wil, did you hear that the man who saved Star Trek has recently died? I’m friendly with his daughter. Thought you might like to see this.
https://boingboing.net/2024/04/26/the-man-who-saved-star-trek-has-died.html
RIP Mr. Trimble.
Somehow, I had totally missed this. I am just weeping, though I know he had a long and fantastic life. He was such a kind and gracious man. He and Bjo are very much an older version of my husband and I; both times we hung out with them, Bjo and I laughed and told stories and carried on, while they sat there and nodded, having heard them all so many times before. I am just gutted. Poor Bjo.
Cheers,
Storm the Klingon
I have a copy of Bjo Trimble’s Star Trek Encyclopedia somewhere in a box! I wore out my mom’s copy as a kid and was very fortunate to find a copy as an adult that hadn’t been used as a coloring book. I had heard of the Trimbles as a kid but never knew much about them.
She gave me a first printing of the Concordance they made, and signed it. I cherish it and though I barely knew either of them, I am grateful that I did.
Do you know if the sense of family and community that exists among folks who have worked in/on Star Trek exists with other shows/movies/franchises? I’m (thanks largely to being a kid who grew up looking up to Wesley Crusher) pretty deeply immersed in Trek things, so I see it a bunch, but is it something you’ve found in other projects you’ve worked on or crossed paths with?
I have heard that it does, but not very often and rarely (if ever) like the thing we share.
Did you get to interact with DeForest when he guest-starred on “Encounter at Farpoint”?
Just a tiny bit. I didn’t realize who I’d been talking to under all that makeup until much later when I mentioned that the guy who played the Admiral was really nice, and whoever I said that to was like, “oh you don’t know who that was.”
Great read. Thank you. 👍💕
I’ve also been a Trekkie and this post makes me admire the cast even more.
Thank you for sharing on Facebook that you have a blog. I’ve followed you on there for a couple of years and I’m looking forward to catching up with you on your blog. I’m particularly interested in your mental health journey as I suffer as well from my childhood.
always been a Trekkie! I am glad you found a family.
Wil,
I hopped over here to read this post after seeing the link on FB (amazingly enough, right?) One of the folks above was asking about notifications, so I hopped back to your home page to see what I could see… and was floored by the Trans Rights Banner. I know I’ve thanked you before for your support.
I gotta thank you again.
I don’t have the platform or reach that you do; but I do what I can as an Elder Trans Wizard. 🙂
Bonus thought: my childhood has some similarity to yours, and we’re the same age. (I’ve got a few months on you.) Both of my parents are narcissistic, but I was an only – so I got to play all of the child roles based on their moods (Golden, Scapegoat, etc.), My therapist suggested a few years back that being trans was likely a blessing. God knows I had NEVER once considered that, but she posited that with everything that I had to figure out for myself to be the man I am, that kept me from being driven mad by my parents.
Thank you again, Wil. LLAP.
That is how I feel about trek. I feel like I was raised by the original cast of male role models that I never had. All of the male crew members were wonderful with vastly different personalities and they (in reruns) kept me company for an hour after school when I came home to an empty house. The women were all so strong, smart , confident and had leadership roles so they gave me something to aspire to.
If our government worked line Star Fleet the world would be the better for it.
I’m still hoping for a bbt reboot so I get to see you on a regular basis there too.
Thank you for what YOU bring to the world!
I am thankful for you and your posts. I have always loved your character (fictional) and character as in upstanding and thoughtful and gracious as a human.
Wonderful post Will. I’m so glad you found your Star Trek family and absolutely LOVE it when you welcome new cast members to the family. And I’m sure you sharing your story helps other victims of abuse. I myself wasn’t abused so much as ignored, neglected and not nurtured by narcissistic parents I know you had it worse than me, but reading your accounts helped me feel less alone.
You are what makes Ready Room special. May it and you Live Long and Prosper
Wil,
This made me teary in the best way. I’m so glad that your willingness to be public about difficult things gives hope to so many folks I know. Every time I meet a new friend who had a difficult family I send them to your work. It’s delightful to find out that Nichelle, George and Walter and the people they seem to be.
Dear Wil,
Thank you. Star Trek has been with me since my mom introduced me to the original series when I was 7 or 8 – (I’m level 54 so about 46 years). You have so perfectly worded what so many feel. You are an inspiration and I am so glad that you found safety in the arms of SUCH a tremendous family that continues to change the world. Thank you!!
I came from a really terrible home life, too, and it’s been a source of joy to watch your path of healing while walking my own. I, too, have finally found love and acceptance and feel safe in my own home (which might sound silly to those who haven’t lived through something similar). I’ve also found reassurance in the way you talk honestly about the things that happened to you. Religion and forced forgiveness played a part in my teens and 20s and I carried the burden of forgiving an adult over and over again while trying to build an impossible relationship with them. I’ve long since learned to live differently, to weed my life’s garden, to accept that the things that happened to me and my brother were terrible. Your honesty over the years has encouraged my own, and I’m no longer afraid to speak my truth about those things that happened, and in doing so it feels like they no longer define me. Maybe they never really did.
I’m so thankful for the people who showed you kindness. That kindness has rippled out through you to so many, many people. I’m grateful to be one.
Live long. And prosper. I’m tired and don’t have many other words yet today, but that’ll do, because I mean it. 🙂
Oh, and we actually watched The One with the Whales just last night, since we recently took a trip to San Francisco and it came to mind. When we were done, we remarked on who we still have with us, and the great fortune we’ve had to share this grand adventure with all of you through the years. I’m glad you have that family, Wil. Truly.
I’m glad you were able to find a family that loved and nurtured you. A lot of blood familes suck.
Thank you, Wil. You’ll never know how much you’ve meant to so many of our generation. LLAP
I just wanted to say that’s such a nice picture and it makes me happy every time I see it. I remember reading something you’d written about how great it was to feel included that night. Basically this picture is everything. When you’re the elder, you’ll have this warm fuzzy to look back on fondly and remember.
<33333333
I’m finally listening to Just A Geek. Got addicted to Wil’s voice listening to audiobooks afterI found John Scalzi and have been binging all of his amazing stories. Listened to a few non Wil non Scalzi books and needed another hit. His narration talent is beyond compare. Like so many in our age group, I crushed on Wesley as a kid and I adore and goals his relationship to his wife, though it’s too late for me. From the early days of the blog, Wil has felt like that friend who you don’t talk to every day but you are excited every time you see them, and look forward to the next.
I have been sitting with this anger while listening, though the book isn’t really on the topic, and now this post, that so many child actors have abusive and narcissistic parents – but the part pissing me off is that the public adds to and magnifies the abuse. How cruel people were and are to the amazing humans like Wil. With so much talent, charisma, heart, intelligence that at a young age it was apparent enough they were cast in roles like Wesley, but bullied by their families and society. Children being ganged up on by adults. It’s sick.
I want to send the biggest hug to the past young Wil, and today’s Wil. I hope you know how much you are adored and loved by so many. Your trauma is valid, but you deserve every ounce of love and care that the world sends to you, and more.