On Friday, I posted this picture, which I thought was just crying out for a caption:
Holy crap, did you guys come through with replies. I think this post is the most-heavily commented post in the history of my blog, going back almost a decade.
So, I said that I'd pick a winner, which was incredibly difficult, because there were so many hilarious and clever and just plain weird contributions. Before I get to the winning one, I have an extensive list of Honorable Mentions, which come to you in no particular order; this is just how I copy and pasted them from my comment notifications:
Stthetwit: They used to call him Wesley 'The Smurf' Crusher, but he's really Wil 'The Smurf Crusher' Wheaton.
Pathunt: Wil joyously exclaimed "SMURFS, I AM IN YOU."
Nat_A_Lie: What Wesley Crusher really used the holodeck for: pretending he was Commander Riker and hanging out with The Smurfs
Mike Maloney: Mr. Wheaton, I'm TV's Chris Hansen. If you'll just have a seat over there…
Celia Spruyt: (loudspeaker crackles) "Security to aisle two, please… Security to aisle two."
critter42: Take your Smurfy paws off us, you damn Smurfy ape!
Sjpoynter: Snow Wheat 'n the Seven Smurfs
tbuser: If you thought the Star Wars Holiday Special was bad, wait until you see Wil Wheaton in this Avatar Holiday Special.
Antilix: "I do this silly thing on Twitter where I pretend that smurfs love me."
tikilovegod: "It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much smurfing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our g–d— smurfs."
Geebeechan: "…and I'll form the head."
Raidir : His heart grew three sizes that day. Oh god, please be his heart.
Halley: Introducing Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf, Christmas Smurf and Geeky Smurf.
Tricia: Wil was really starting to enjoy his new job with the TSA…
patrickcentral: Vote "Yes" on Prop 4.
DoctorAvenue: "Tangled Up In Blue"
Coreywwilliams.: I call the big one Bitey.
Paul Schreivogl: And what happened then? Well, in Wilville they say that the Wheaton's small heart grew three sizes that day.
Akulawolf: Area man sets Guinness world record for smurf gropings, gets arrested. Film at 11. Actually, you know what, just words. Just words at 11.
Elfhybrid: "Fawkes tries everything at least once"
dkplewis: In this still from never-before-seen footage shot for "Hide and Q", we finally learn that Riker's tempting offer to Wesley went far, far beyond just making him an adult.
Echoshindig: There were no survivors.
SendrilesWench: A horde of Smurfs appear! Wil Wheaton uses hug. It's super effective!
Rachel Bowen: "Sorry, Vern. I guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven Smurfs."
Norgavue: "Hi I'm Wil Wheaton. I am required by law to tell you that I am moving into the neighborhood."
Dan Brottman: "I never smurfed any smurfs later on like the smurfs I smurfed when I was thirty-eight. Jesus, does anysmurf?"
John: Wil debuts his "Lady GAGAmel" costume.
Before I get to the winner, which you've probably already skipped ahead and read, I wanted to add one that would have won if I had seen it here, instead of Twitter. If you don't know what this means, do yourself a favor and don't go searching to figure it out. It's just one word: Bluekakke.
I know. I know. It's so smurfin' wrong … but so smurfin' right.
Okay, here is your winner, because I keep coming back to this and laughing my head off:
Greg Hatcher: Sure, sometimes, I feel a little stupid. But then I remember… AN ACTOR PREPARES.
Prepares for what, exactly, I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know, but Greg hit me in that weak spot I have where funny, weird, and clever overlap, so congratulations, Greg. I'll be in touch to get you your neat prize.
I got +5 to LOLs this weekend from everyone who took a moment to contribute; we'll have to do this again sometime, when an appropriate picture presents itself.
(See comments for a couple that were too long to qualify as captions, but were impressive and worthy of mention, regardless.)