This is all about dogs taking shits. If that sort of thing grosses you out, don’t read it.

This is all about dogs taking shits. If that sort of thing grosses you out, don’t read it.

I walked out into the backyard, and got the dog-shit-picker-upper-thing out of the place where it lives. I carried it to the lawn, and began using it for its prescribed purpose.

After a couple of scoops, Marlowe joined me on the lawn. “You guys sure do poop a lot,” I said. She looked at me with sweet eyes and a pibble smile.

I continued to pick up their dirty, sinful business, and Riley arrived. She surveyed the situation, and decided to take a huge shit in the middle of the yard. “Thanks for not waiting until I put this away, Piles,” I said.

I turned my back to her and worked my way toward the back of the lawn. The sun was warm on my back, a very light breeze rustling the leaves on the camphor trees.

I turned around just in time to see Marlowe eating Riley’s poop.

“Goddammit, Marlowe! Stop eating shit!” I said.

She took a few steps away from me, looking guiltily back over her shoulder. “That is so gross, dude. Don’t do that!”

She looked at me, hunched her back, and pooped. I’m pretty sure she was thinking, “I’m sorry. Here, let me put it back.”



35 thoughts on “This is all about dogs taking shits. If that sort of thing grosses you out, don’t read it.”

  1. lol…I never get that. Ours like to raid the litter box. They’ve been good of late but for a while, I’d find these concentrations of litter and bits of desiccated…uh…bits…

    I used to be jealous of how much they licked my wife…on the face…not so much after that. :)

  2. when my dog was a puppy, he ate his own poop during a christmas road trip pit stop. ten miles later, he was vomiting in the car.

    on the highway.

    in the middle of a snowstorm.

    dogs rule.

  3. Yes, dogs are pleasers for sure. They also, all too often, suffer from Coprophagia.
    Which is a direct opposite condition most commonly suffered by politicians.

  4. At my house I have the cat litter box blocked off so the dog cannot get to it. So he goes and stands by it saying, “I am hungry; I am hungry.” Then I go and scoop up the cat poop and throw it out into the yard. The dog runs out and gobbles it up. He has me well trained.

  5. THANKS Wil.

    It is -26C, windy, and we just had enough snow to freeze and bury a year’s supply of dog doo doooo…….

    I was very depressed. But, I am now laughing like a mad man. You have a gift for words, even in your disclaimer….

    Gayzeus but I needed that. Worse, I could see you (in my mind) out there…. When I see you, you mutate back and forth, between yound welsery, and “Good Old Wil”. … And that was funny, too!

    Mr Crusher? Where did you say you were?
    I’m BUSY Captain, I’m in the future~!
    HA HA HA !
    Oh, I hope Sir Pat does not read this!

  6. If you want to stop your dog from eating poop, sprinkle cayenne pepper on it. It will break the habit fairly quickly. If you have to, pre-walk your route to booby trap all turds you can find before bringing your dog out on a walk.

  7. My friends rottie was eating his poop pretty regularly. This distressed my friend, so she did some research and determined that he had watched her cleaning up the poops and was trying to help. She started making sure she only scooped the lawn when the dogs were out of sight, and he stopped (mostly).

  8. LOL! Dogs rule! I’m often amazed by how we can live so closely, comfortably and intimately with beings who are so different to us. 30 000 years and more of evolution together, I guess. :)

  9. We sell a product at my natural pet store called Stop Eating Poop, or SEP. It’s powder you put on all the dog’s food. I guess it makes the poop taste bad. I wouldn’t think it was taste good to start with, but alas. People report good results with it!

  10. How come in star trek you never see what toilets are like in the future? I mean i’ve never seen a 24th century toilet. You never get any of the crew saying “i need to take a shit” I mean do they beam the shit out of you?’

  11. My 2 year old lab will literally go outside, poop, trot around in a nice little circle…. And eat her own poop.Funny thing we have discovered is that she only likes the fresh stuff. She prefers her snacks warm!

  12. Surprised this wasn’t mentioned earlier, as late to the party as I am: Wil, it seems you scared the poop out of her.
    Fantastic story.

  13. One of my sister’s friends wrote a novel about his year as an intern at a New York City hospital. In the novel, there is a scene where a dog shits out a condom. This leads to a very interesting discussion between the lead character and the girl he’s dating. I won’t say anything more, other than the name of the novel is THE SATURDAY NIGHT KNIFE AND GUN CLUB.

  14. Ours eat it ‘hot out the butt’. I’d seen gorillas at the zoo do this before, but it was far more traumatizing to watch a family member do it. Behind those sweet pug smiles lurks a craving for chocolate soft serve of the worst kind. I always let new business pick them up and hold them at face level, being for kisses, before I divulge their nasty secret.

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