New York Times Number One Best Selling Audiobook Narrator Releases Free Audiobooks During Stay At Home

It occurs to me that, if I were better at marketing myself, I’d be writing and sending out press releases titled, “New York Times Number One Best Selling Audiobook Narrator Releases Free Audiobooks During Stay At Home” because I’m having so much fun reading and recording these things (today, the dogs really joined in), and I want them to find as wide an audience as possible. I don’t know anyone else in my line of work who is doing this sort of thing, and I think that it’s kind of a cool thing to do. I suppose I should have a conversation with my team.

Today’s story is from 1956, and it feels like one of those 90s anthology shows, like Outer Limits or Perversions of Science. It’s a whole lot of fun.

If I may: are you listening to these things? I’m unclear on the size and enthusiasm of the audience, and I’m curious.

Radio Free Burrito Presents: Return to Pleasure Island by Cory Doctorow

I was talking to my friend, Cory, over the weekend, and we decided that we would each read and release something the other had written, because why not?

I’m a huge fan and admirer of Cory both as a human and as a creative person. He’s been my primary mentor since I started writing professionally, and I owe him more than I’ll ever be able to properly repay. It’s not unreasonable to say that, without Cory’s guidance and kindness, I wouldn’t be a published author.

So it’s with excitement (and a little trepidation, because I don’t want to disappoint my friend) that I chose one of Cory’s fantastic short stories from way back in 1999, which he describes this way:

This is the story of the ogres who run the concession stands on Pleasure Island, where Pinocchio’s friend Lampwick turned into a donkey. Like much of my stuff, this has a tie-in with Walt Disney World; the idea came to me on the Pinocchio ride in the Magic Kingdom, in 1993.

You can grab my narration at my Soundcloud. I hope you enjoy it.

When we were talking, Cory asked me if I he could read something of mine on his podcast, so I sent him a diary I wrote about my son and Cory’s book, Little Brother. He read it on his podcast, making this an official Podcast Swap, which I did not know was a thing.

Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Middle Toe of the Right Foot by Ambrose Bierce

I’m feeling creative, and a little antsy, so I made you a thing!

Today’s free audiobook is The Middle Toe of the Right Foot, by Ambrose Bierce. I explain all about how I found it and why I’m so freaking excited to do this particular story, in the intro.

So instead of repeating all of that here, I’ll just give you a download link and an embed, and strongly encourage you, if you like my audiobook narration, but haven’t spent some time with any of these recent releases, to give this one a listen.

I am, if you can not tell by now, obnoxiously proud of myself.

Stay home! Stay healthy!

Radio Free Burrito Presents: Thoughts on the Worldstate by Henry Kuttner

I wasn’t planning on recording today, but while I was looking for something to record tomorrow, I found a thing that I loved so much, I couldn’t wait.

The story I chose is titled “Thoughts on the Worldstate”, and it was written by Henry Kuttner. It is from the Spring, 1940, issue of Futuria Fantastia, which was edited by Ray Bradbury. (Side note: if you’re looking for something to read, and you enjoy speculative fiction, I think you may like this issue of the magazine as much as I do. It’s a whole lot of fun to read, and the illustrations are pretty great.)

Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Ghost of Harrowby Hall

While I listen to medical professionals and practice self-quarantine at home, I’m making an effort to create and release free audio book shorts every few days. It’s a good way for me to stay connected to my creative self, when my everything else self is so anxious and scared, all it wants to do is hide under the blankets and play video games.

I’m doing what I can, to do use the skills I have during this pandemic in a way that is helpful. At first blush, creating entertainment seems kind of silly and pointless right now. People are dying, people are unemployed, and we’re all doing our best to not freak out, right? We need masks and PPE and ventilators, and a president who isn’t a fucking incompetent liar, who puts his personal accumulation of wealth and power ahead of the lives of the people he is supposed to lead.

Everyone does what they can in times of crisis. For someone who is a first responder, they know exactly what to do right now. It’s what they’ve dedicated their lives to. Same for medical professionals. Then we have the heroic efforts of the supermarket employees, package delivery employees, and local restaurants, who all know precisely what their call to public service is going to be during this crisis.

But what about entertainers? I mean, can you think of anything more useless? People are dying and you’re going to read me a story? Really?

…well, yeah. Because that’s all I can do. My skill set is limited to performing and entertaining. It’s not the path I would have chosen for myself, but it’s what I know how to do, and it’s something that I’m not terrible at. In fact, I’m pretty good at it (he says, knowing he would make different performance choices if he did this one again), and it seems like a waste to just crawl into a blanket fort right now, while everyone else is doing what they can to help.

So I’m going to entertain, the best that I can, because that’s what I know how to do. I mean, I still want to be entertained and distracted right now, maybe more than ever. There is nothing I look forward to these days as much as I look forward to Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night, because for an hour I get to forget that the world is on fire.

What if I could be to someone else what Jeopardy is to me? What if I used these skills I have to make some entertainment for anyone who wants it? It’s not the worst idea! I am by far not the worst!

I’m having fun doing this, and I’ll keep doing it as long as people are listening and want me to continue.

Today’s reading is The Ghost of Harrowby Hall. It’s a 19th century satirical ghost story with some great dialog.