Category Archives: WWdN in Exile

A few pictures from Emerald City Comicon.

I had a fantastic time at Emerald City Comicon. Until I have time to get my thoughts together and share some of the more awesome things that happened, I want to share the following pictures that I took while I was there:

Keep Calm and Don't Be A Dick

A girl made me this T-shirt. I'm so geeked out about it, I'm going to make some of my own.

Soft Kitty

These girls were totes adorbs in their Bazinga T-shirts. This Soft Kitty sings the song when you squeeze its little paw!
Sparks McGee Cosplay at Emerald City Comicon

This is the first Sparks McGee Cosplay I've ever seen. I love it. She made the entire thing herself!
Shut up, Picard

…and this is the tattoo Sparks McGee has.

Gameboy Cosplay

This girl was cosplaying as a classic Gameboy! She made it herself. It is awesome.

Super Nails!

The world doesn't have nearly enough superhero-themed nail art.

Nyan Cat Cosplay

Probably my favorite cosplay, ever: a couple who cosplayed as Nyan Cat!

I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted, because my line was pretty long the whole weekend. I figured that if I was stopping to take lots of pictures, it would probably result in at least a few people not being able to make it through the line (which some people told me took three hours, in spite of my efforts to move it along as quickly as I could. Holy crap, that's a long line. I would never wait three hours to meet me. Hell, I wouldn't even wait one hour.)

I used the Vignette app on my Android (HTC Inc. CM7) to take these pictures. I think you can clicky-click them if you want to see them in all their epic huge glory.

ECCC Programming Question: What do you want to hear at the Awesome Hour?

I've been working on Big Bang Theory for the last week. We tape tonight, and tomorrow I immediately start work on an audiobook*. The upshot of this is that I won't have a lot of time to build a setlist for my Awesome Hour at Emerald City Comicon this weekend.

So this is where you come in. I need your help, whether you're going to be there or not. What do you want to hear me perform? I haven't been able to write very much new material since the last ECCC, to I'm leaning toward some stories about gaming, and maybe something from the deep archives, like something out of Dancing Barefoot or Just A Geek.

Please, please, please leave me a comment here so I have some ideas about what you'd like to see me perform if I was on a stage in front of you. If there's a particular post from my blog (especially if it's one of the older ones) leave me a link. I think it would be really cool to build an entire "fan created" setlist.


*It's the first nonfiction book I've done that I didn't write; I'm not sure I can say what it is, but it's going to be a lot of fun to read it.

On the set of Stand By Me

This picture was originally posted on Tumblr by thefactory-:

image from

You know that montage when we’re walking back home, near the end of the movie, and we go by in silhouette during sunset? It’s what they used as inspiration for the poster.

This picture was taken when we filmed that little bit. That thing we’re sitting on is called a Chapman Crane, and it’s a really neat piece of film equipment that allows for those big, beautiful, dramatic, sweeping panoramic shots you see in movies.

It’s a little dangerous, though, because there are weights and things on the end of that arm to perfectly counterbalance the weight of the camera and whoever is sitting next to it. More than once in film history, someone has stepped off the crane before it’s been rebalanced, and, finding itself a hundred or more pounds heavier at one end than the other, the crane has turned into a very dangerous catapult. 

The way I remember it, we kept asking Rob Reiner if we could sit on it when the shot was over, because the idea of sitting up in the sky next to the camera was so awesome, and he eventually said yes, because he was like that.

We were so excited to sit on this thing, and so excited to ride it up as high as it would go — it seemed like a hundred feet, but I’m sure it was more like thirty — but we had to wear seatbelts, promise to sit still and not step off the thing until it was balanced. I don't remember what everyting looked like from up there, but I do remember someone deciding to give the slate to River (who, of course, has his serious face on, like he always did) because it was a fantastic publicity photo opportunity.

I’m glad someone took this picture, because it reminded me of a joyful moment that I haven’t thought of in over a quarter century.

The Force Will Be With Him…

My nephew will be joining Team Humans sometime in July, so today we're having a baby shower for my little sister (who, at 33, isn't little, bit if you're a big brother or sister, you know what I mean.)

My brother in law is awesome, even though he's Dallas Cowboys SuperFan Number One Top Guy Forever™. I know that my nephew (who I suggested should be named Batman, but will probably end up with a muggle name that's more socially appropriate) will get plenty of sportsball in his life, so it has fallen to me, his favorite uncle Wil, to share with him The Way of the Geek.

I'm starting him off early (and right) by giving the following gifts* at the shower today:

Bazinga Batman

I'm pretty sure he'll be on Team Sheldon, even though his favorite uncle is on Team Evil Wil Wheaton.

Geek In Training

By the time he's ready to use a computer, it'll probably be controlled with his mind… but this way he can confuse the 2 year-olds of the future, or at least holler at them to get off his lawn.

Starfleet Academy Cadet

I'm pretty sure they'd kick me out of the Star Trek family if I didn't get this for him.

I had this amazing fantastic idea to get him a Twilight Zone pinball machine that could live at our house, so he had something awesome to play with whenever he came over to visit, but Anne shot that down for some stupid reason that doesn't make any sense at all.

*I went nuts at ThinkGeek, for those of you who are wondering.

In which my wife is a super villain

Yesterday, I told Twitter: If Anne was a super villain, she'd be The Earworm, and she would terrorize the citizens by putting horrible songs into their head.

Twitter worked its magic, and a short time later, this appeared:


Thank you, @jadegordon, for making something awesome.

I spent way too much time on this.

So this incredibly entertaining bit of spam arrived in my inbox last night:

Hilarious Spam

I just want to thank Nash Morton (who I'm sure owns a yacht, wears the finest silk shirts and only the fanciest of pants) for giving my e-mail address to his friend, who is so concerned about how many wild runnings I miss out on because I have no erection.

Some of you are too young to recall a time when you could run wild just because you felt the need to run wild (it's true, they were days long ago), but in our modern times, if you don't have an erection, you simply aren't allowed to run wild. I vividly recall the following scene:

Me: Is this the place you come to when you want to run wild?

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: It is indeed! Aloha-hail, fellow!))

Me: Oh, thank the gods! I've felt a need to run wild — a compulsion whose origination I know not — and I've finally found the place to do it!

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: That's fine news, friend; fine news indeed! Just show me your erection, and I'll grant you entrance to a place where men run wild.

Me: Oh, nuts. Well, the thing is… I don't have an erection at the moment.

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: WHAT?!

Me: I'm ever so sorry, sir. If you could find it in yourself to allow an erectionless man to run–

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: CERTAINLY NOT! WE HERE AT A PLACE WHERE MEN RUN WILD STAND FOR CERTAIN THINGS!

Me: But–

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: CHIEF AMONG THOSE THINGS IS AN ERECTION! (Calls off, behind an opulent curtain) Jenkins! Jenkins! Come out here a moment!

Jenkins, who has an obvious and enormous erection: Yes, sire?

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: This … man … here, wishes admittance to A Place Where Men Run Wild!

Jenkins: Bully! (to me) Show us your erection, and be ready for the time of your life!

Me: About that…

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: He has no erection!

Jenkins: Oh, that's a jolly good joke, sire! (to me) So, present your erection and I'll personally guide you through the curtain into a place where men run wild!

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: Jenkins, do you have an erection in your ears? I said that this "man" here has no erection.

Jenkins: Forsooth?! (Jenkins faints)

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: Well, I hope you're happy. You've given Jenkins cause to faint.

Me: I'm ever so sorry. I merely wanted to run wild!

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: Please leave.

Me: May I just–

Burly Man With A Wilford Brimley Moustache At The Entrance To A Place Where Men Run Wild: No. No, you most certanly may not! I bid you good day, sir. Come back when you have an erection. Perhaps you could talk to Nash Morton.

Me (fighting back tears): Yes, yes, I'll do just that.

So, thank you, Nash Morton. I look forward to taking my future erection to a place where men run wild. I am forever in your debt, sir.

Things every person should have

Things every person should have:

  • A nemesis.
  • An evil twin.
  • A secret headquarters.
  • An escape hatch.
  • A partner in crime.
  • A secret identity.

What else?

I can’t be at Wondercon on Friday, so my panel is cancelled.

I could make up a story about dying or dead mee maws, but the truth is: I have to work on Friday. It can't be rescheduled, and since it's my job and everything, I had to cancel my panel on Friday at Wondercon. 

We tried to move things around, but it just wasn't possible. I'm really sorry, especially because I know a non-zero number of people will be disappointed by this.

HOWEVER! I will come down on Saturday for the Geek and Sundry panel with Felicia Day, because [REDACTED AND VERY SECRET BUT I BET YOU CAN DO THE MATH IF YOU'RE CLEVER].

Red Robot with Pirate Sock Puppet, Moustache, and Fez

Red Robot with Pirate Puppet and Fez


Dear 12 year-old Wil:

Some day, you're going to have this in your office where you get paid to make up and write stories.


Adult Wil (Who still can't believe it.)

She rolled a sixteen. Good for her!

When Ryan was a Junior in college, he moved to a place where he couldn't have cats. Anne and I agreed to foster them until he took them back.

That was nearly three years ago.

When he moved across the country for his job, we officially adopted the cats we'd been fostering for years. Ryan misses them as much as we miss him, but it's worked out well for everyone. Anne and I grew to love his cats, and if you follow me on Twitter*, you know that I find the cats to be endlessly entertaining.

One of the cats, Luna, can be rather insistent about us paying attention to her. One of the ways she lets us know that we're not doing her bidding** in a way that pleases her involves pulling all of the tissues out of the tissue box when we're gone for a day, completely shredding a roll of paper towels while we're at the store, and unrolling an entire roll of toiler paper over night for some reason.

All of these things are intended to capture attention from both of us. When Luna really wants to get my attention, though, she goes after my gaming dice.

Seriously. One day, I found two full sets of dice underneath the couch in my office. The thing is, those sets were on a shelf in my closet, in a bag. I don't know how she did it, but I'm convinced that whatever skillset she used could just as easily be applied to the task of murdering me in my sleep, so I just laughed it off and told her that it was a real good thing that she did that. Real good, Luna! REAL REAL GOOD! It's a real good thing that you did that! HAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Um. Anyway.

A couple of days ago, I took my wallet, keys, and the d20 I carry with me just about everywhere (unless it's a d12 for some reason)*** and set them on our kitchen counter. About twenty minutes later, while I sat in my office, I heard a clang! sound, followed by Anne laughing. I walked out to see what was up, and Anne showed me the picture she had taken, shortly after the clang!:


In case you can't tell, Luna knocked my d20 off the counter and into our dogs' water dish. That's her little head reflected in the silver dish, which actually makes this picture kind of cute.

"She rolled a sixteen," Anne said, a touch of admiration in her voice that I've never heard whenever I've rolled a sixteen.

"Of course she did. It's not like it was a difficult to-hit roll."

Anne looked at me.

"I mean, she has terrain advantage, her target is prone, and…" I trailed off.

"You know what? Forget it. I'm just going to pick up my d20 and be on my way."

Anne and Luna gave me disapproving looks as I walked back to my office. I wiped my die off on my pants and gave it right back to them.

*I'm sorry, really, I am, but I told you that you shouldn't. You have nobody to blame but yourself.

**Dogs have masters; cats have staff.

***Like the one I gave Hardwick when I was on his show.