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good news, everyone!

Posted on By Wil

Whoops. I misread my calendar, and this week’s It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton is not the final episode. And it is not the episode I teased in the blog post I sent out to the equivalent of a sold-out hockey arena in 1997, on purpose. Excellent! Print it and we are moving on!

So. There are more episodes left than I thought, which is awesome, and I am kind of embarrassed about making such a silly mistake in public, which is not awesome. I guess, though, if you have to do something cringey in public, there are, like … so many worse ways to do that. So, on balance: neutral awesome, can not use edged weapons for d6 rounds, save ends.

ANYWAY. Please allow me to tease this week’s actual story:

Get ready to meet three women who have come together with everything at stake, to literally drive toward a shared goal, without losing sight of their individual goals — or themselves — along the way.

I know I say this every time, but it’s so good. You’re going to love it.

Oh guess what? I just made my save because I realized that … from a certain point of view … my formerly-embarrassing error resulted in a double preview, a super sneak peak, a preteaser. I’m going to tell myself that’s clever marketing and take half damage.

Okay, real quick before I go back to watching the playoffs: since I’m hitting your inbox twice in one day, I may as well point you to this lovely video that Star Trek made when a bunch of us from the Star Trek universe went to Star Trek: Red Alert together at Universal Studios’ Fan Fest Nights1 last week. Watch it all the way to the end, if you want to feel some feelings.

Thank you for your patience with Old Man Wheaton when he is having A Day. I appreciate you.

  1. It’s such a cool event! The immersion across the board exceeded my expectations, and I can see this taking off the way Horror Nights has. ↩︎
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see into the trees

Posted on By Wil

I get these e-mail updates when someone registers here as a new user. For months, I see one or two every couple of days, and e-mail subscribers are holding steady just under 14,000. I feel like I’m in a bit of a growth plateau, which is a thing that happens.

Weirdly, yesterday morning, new user registration emails started pouring in, and didn’t stop all day. It looks like roughly 250 new accounts were created, which is a m a z i n g … if they are real people and not weird bots. So… are you a newly registered reader? If yes, would you Introduce yourself? Don’t be alarmed when the system tell you that I need to approve your comment; that’s by design. Thank you.

And now, on to the post.

I am profoundly scattered and distracted, on the verge of total overwhelm, because I’ve been working my face off on an audiobook that’s been as much fun as I expected, but is leaving me exhausted at the end of every session. It’s been interesting to note how my vocal fatigue starts to creep in right around 4 hours, about half an hour after my mental fatigue begins to do its thing. Somewhere in the world, there are a lot of recordings of me just hilariously messing up words because my brain can’t keep up.

It can sound ludicrous to anyone who works a 9-5 when I say that after 4 hours of work I’m damn close to both physical and mental exhaustion. It sounds ludicrous to me! But that’s a long time to be performing without a break, and I honestly can’t even imagine what going to six hours or more would feel like. I know people do it, and I tip my hat to them.

The work has been satisfying. The story and the characters are such a fun sandbox to play in, and it feels good to walk out of the studio every day feeling happily exhausted, and creatively fulfilled. I presume that most of you reading this know my whole story, so you know how hard it is for me to feel like I’m worst at what I do best, and it isn’t even something I ever wanted to do in the first place. Narrating audiobooks has opened up this whole amazing world to me where I’m pretty good at what I do best, and I love every second of it. I am so grateful that I have been able to take something that was imposed on me (being an actor), and pull something out of that that truly belongs to me (my narrative voice and skill set).

I feel like this is a good moment to pause and promote a little bit of that. I have been told that I have to promote my work so much I feel like it’s the only thing I do, that it’s way too much, that everyone is sick to death of hearing it … and then do a little more. Good lord. I remember when I thought that making the thing was the hard part; turns out that just letting people know the thing exists is so much harder than I remembered or anticipated.

So.

Here’s Still Just A Geek — currently on sale at Audible for $7.99 — which is roughly 24 hours of you and me sitting together on a long car trip while I tell you my life story to this point. My publisher tells me that it continues to outsell the print version, which is nearly sold out all over the place and is apparently becoming something people are collecting.

Uhhhh… okay? That’s not what I expected but thank you? That’s amazing.

Here are two stories I recently did for John Scalzi that I can confidently recommend to literally anyone whether they already like his work or don’t even know about it: Starter Villain and When The Moon Hits Your Eye. Both are a whole lot of fun, a little silly, light and easy without being empty calories, featuring characters who were deeply satisfying to discover and voice. (I mean, the dolphins. IYKYK).

Right now, Cory Doctorow is touring Picks & Shovels, the second novel in what I hope is an ongoing series that never ends, featuring a character named Martin Hench. I did this, and Bill Gates’ memoir, Source Code, and When The Moon Hits Your Eye, while I was doing the first season of It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton and —

Dang. When I put it that way, I sound much more employed and accomplished than I feel. That’s probably a good thing for me to be aware of, so I can recalibrate my internal sensors to be more reliable.

Anyway, this work of the last four or five months is significant to me, and significant in my career. It’s a moment when I massively leveled up without even noticing that it was happening. It’s kind of like in Fallout 76, when I’ll be out in Wes Tek farming Super Mutants with my fun new “make everything explode” perk, and not even realize I’ve leveled up to a new perk pack. I wasn’t paying attention to the XP, because I was having so much fun doing the things that generated it, and now I have all this fun XP, new perks, and a better build than I did before. I can do things now that I didn’t know I would ever be able to do before. (That’s just for whoever is in the me and Fallout 76 Venn Diagram. The rest of you can safely move on, or ask someone who knows).

It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton news and updates.

This week’s episode ends the first season, which is a major bummer because I feel like we’re just getting started, still introducing the show to the audience, still reaching for that tipping point. I originally planned to do ten, but we could only get seven, and I had no idea that three would be such a big and meaningful number. Let this be a lesson: listen to De La Soul, people. They know what they’re talking about.

Here is an obligatory link to the podcast homepage.

Here is a link to the podcast Patreon.

Here is where I tell you that I’m doing an AMA about these stories and everything that we did to bring them to you, a week from tomorrow (that would be Tuesday, May 6) for everyone who is in the Book Hound tier. I’m trying something I’ve heard on other podcasts: you can ask me questions in the voice mail format, that I can listen to and answer. I expect it will be fun to interact this way, and if it goes well, and I do more episodes, I’ll make it a monthly thing, maybe even weekly. The link for that will be posted to the show’s Patreon by the time this post goes live.

Finally, a teaser for this upcoming episode:

“It’s a ghost story, it’s a love story, it’s a gorgeous monologue that cries out to be staged in the real life theatre where the titular play is set … so I invite you to take your seat, because the house lights are coming down and I’m about to begin.”

Thanks for reading, and thanks for listening. I’m glad you’re here.

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It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton episode 5 – can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time by iori kusano

Posted on By Wil

It is Wednesday, my dudes, and that means we have a brand new podcast for you.

This week, it’s can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time, originally published in Uncanny Magazine. It’s an absolutely beautiful story that hit me with some unexpected twists in the very best way. Here’s how I introduced it in the show:

I remember being a kid in the late seventies, looking through this book I had called The Catalog of the Future1. It was filled with imaginary vacation destinations, floating cities (in the air and in the sea), rockets, wireless phones, all beautifully illustrated. With a little assistance from my young imagination, I could pretend this catalog had been plucked from the future, that everything inside it was real, and one day, I would live there.

I was a weird, lonely, scared kid. I treasured the escape and the sanctuary I found inside the covers of this book.

Today, in a story that landed on me like an uppercut, I’m going to take you to a Waffle House, somewhere in North America, where we will meet a guy who had his own version of that catalog, his own glimpse of a world where the things that made him weird in our reality made him special and gave his life purpose2. And we’re going to find out how it feels for him to know that he can never go back.

This is Can I Offer You An Egg In This Trying Time?

I can’t believe I’ve already released five episodes. It feels like I’m still waiting for this to begin, in the weirdest way.

I want to remind y’all that I have a Patreon for the show with an ad-free feed, some looks behind the curtain, and my personal reflections on each story. I’m about to do an AMA about the podcast for subscribers using a thing my producer showed me, which lets people leave a voicemail that I can listen to and then answer. I think it’s going to be fun. So look for the official announcement in the coming days.

I’m tired, y’all. I’ve been doing a LOT of writing and there’s been a lot going out, without very much coming in. I’m working on a new audiobook all this week and next week, and my Creative Self is very busy with that. So I don’t have more for you today other than these links to my show in some of the more popular places:

And I think that everyone who is going to subscribe to blog posts has already done that, so this is likely the last time I put this thingy into a post:

Thanks so much for all your support, and for trusting me with your time and attention. I can not overstate how much it means to me.

  1. I misspoke here and regret not fact-checking myself. The book is actually called The Kid’s Whole Future Catalog and you can read it at the Internet Archive. ↩︎
  2. This is my favorite trope in speculative fiction, the one that lands on me the hardest. Oh, to live in a world where the things that made me a weird target for bullies actually made me special (like we all were, but didn’t know when we were kids). ↩︎

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in which a memory is created with my son

Posted on By Wil

I went to my first Los Angeles Kings game around 1986, when they still played at the Forum, wore the original uniforms, and weren’t a playoff team.

By the end of the first period, my fandom was cemented. I loved how fast the game moved. I loved how weird it was to play ice hockey in Southern California. I loved that nobody I knew was into hockey, so this was something that belonged to me. In the 80s, being a hockey fan in LA was to be part of a subculture that took a little bit of work. Like, it was easy to be a Lakers fan during Showtime. The Dodgers weren’t that great in the mid-80s, but by 1988 they were in the World Series again, while the Kings were pretty mid, if my memory is correct.

Years and years ago, I wrote something about how much I loved getting off of work at Paramount, driving down La Cienega through the oil fields, and sneaking into Inglewood around the traffic on the 405 and 110. I would have been 16 or so, maybe just barely 17, when Gretzky came to the Kings, and my subculture exploded into very mainstream Los Angeles sports culture. I took an extended break from the NHL — and all sports, really — when my kids were little. We couldn’t justify the expense for tickets, and when I had a choice between going out for something or staying home and enjoying my family’s company, I always stayed home.

But in … I think it was 2010? 2011? … the Kings were in the playoffs against St. Louis, a couple seasons before they won their first Stanley Cup. I knew from experience that there is nothing in the world like playoff hockey, and that I had my best chance to introduce Anne to the sport, the team, and that part of me. So we went to game 3 of the series (I’m going from memory. I could look all this up and be sure about the dates, but I’m going to write this parenthetical, instead.) We sat behind the goal, about 7 rows up, not the best place to get a full view of the game and watch plays develop, but really great for dropping you right into the middle of the whole thing.

Anne was completely on board by like the third or fourth whistle. She was hollering with me, stomping her feet, the whole thing. It was great. We got season tickets the following season, and we have had them ever since.

Last night, she had an art class she’s been looking forward to for weeks, that she joind before the playoff schedule was set, so I took our son, Nolan, with me. He’s been so busy with so many things, we haven’t had many opportunities lately to just go out and hang, so I was looking forward to that even more than the game, itself.

Holy shit the game, itself. I’ve been feeling like this team is the first team the Kings have put out in years that has a real chance to get past Edmonton. Fucking FINALLY. As I wrote only semi-jokingly in yesterday’s post, Edmonton has one line and a bunch of guys. Their goalie is very beatable, and if the Kings can shut down McDavid (who, we all have to admit is the greatest player in the world right now), they should advance.

The vibe inside Staples Center was immaculate. Fans chanting in the streets, in the concourse ahead of the game, in our seats before they introduced the players. For the first time since opening night, the place looked to be nearly sold out. It was the playoffs, man, and it nourished my soul to be there.

The game was exciting and nerve wracking. The Kings took their foot off the gas at the beginning of the third, as is traditional, and let the Oilers back in. McDavid did his thing (I hope Edmonton nerds know how lucky they are to watch him year after year) and I felt roughly 17000 people go “oh fuck my life not this again”.

And then.

And then, Phillip Danault and Warren Foegele did this, with 7 seconds left.

Phillip Danault (off camera right) snaps a shot on Jeff Skinner that flutters in for a goal, while Warren Foegele leaps out of the way. (via reddit)

Nolan and I jumped up out of our seats so fast and so hard, we practically hit our heads on the roof.

The Kings held on for seven intense seconds, and after blowing a huge lead, managed to win it 6-5 in regulation. It’s the first time they’ve won a playoff game in regulation in three years. I screamed so much, my throat hurts today and my voice is hoarse. Not the best thing before I start an audiobook tomorrow. Good thing I heal like Wolverine.

On the drive home, I looked over at Nolan and said, “Look, it’s the playoffs, and I would never admit to this in public or on my blog, but it’s after 10 already and I did not want to be leaving here after 11, so I feel like not only did the Kings win, we also won.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but … yeah.”

We laughed about that a little bit.

I said, “I guess I know that I’m old and tired because I’m not completely sure I wouldn’t have suggested we race home during the intermission so I could watch OT on TV and then roll right into bed. I don’t even know who I am.”

He started to reply, then said, “Look out!” because a stupid fucking dipshit idiot driver whipped across three lanes without signaling to gain a car length while I was — with my turn indicator on because oh my fucking god why is that so hard for you people to do — safely changing lanes like an adult.

I yanked my wheel back to my left, was grateful I drive a Mini with a low center of gravity, and dad mode automatically engaged. “You fucking idiot fuck,” I spat at that guy. “My fucking kid is right here! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You okay? Sorry about that.”

“Yeah, that was intense.”

My parental anger faded as quickly as it flared. “I’m really glad you saw that. I would have missed it entirely.” In my dad brain, a vivid series of violent car crashes played in high speed.

“I barely did.”

“Yikes. That’s scary. We were so close to being in a serious crash because of that guy, and he probably has no idea.” I wondered how many more near collisions this dude would cause on his way to wherever he was going.

“Yep.”

We drove in silence for a little bit. And then, after we’d merged onto the 134, I said the thing that had been on my mind since we’d left the house hours earlier.

“I’m so grateful you chose to come to the game tonight. Thank you for making a special memory with me. I cherish this time together, and I want you to know that.”

“I do know that, but I’m still glad you said it. I didn’t expect to have as much fun as I did. It reminded me of the times we went before.”

“That was so much fun. I’m so happy that you remember it the way I do.”

When Nolan was in high school, the Kings had ticket packs for super cheap (they were NOT a good team, then) so I got him like 6 games for Christmas, mostly so we had an excuse to go do something together. At one of the games, we were screaming and cheering for the boys and they put us on the Jumbotron. Someone in the organization grabbed it, and made that video snip part of the opening montage for the rest of that year. Every game I went to, with Nolan and without, I got to see it and remember how fun it was when it happened. It was so long ago, the memories have faded to a point where they are unreliable. Last night was an echo of those memories, and it refreshed them enough to restore their clarity.

Anne’s got tickets to a show tomorrow, and Nolan is my first choice, if he’s feeling it, to be my +1. So maybe we’ll get to make another memory together tomorrow night that involves the Kings going to Edmonton up 2 games to none.

If you’d like to get these updates in your inbox, here’s the thingy:

Also, before I go, I am on Michael Rosenbaum’s podcast, Inside of You, this week. I’m working on a post about it, just struggling to get WordPress to play nice with a bit of embedded video. Until then, here are some quick links:

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it’s the most wonderful time of the year

Posted on By Wil

It’s that time again! Here’s my 2025 Stanley Cup Playoffs bracket, something that is always fun for me to write for the eleven people in the world who care about it. (Hi! I’m glad you’re all here!)

Round One

Campbell Western Conference

Vegas vs. Minnesota

As much as I very intensely dislike VGK, they aren’t pulling that IR bullshit from years past, so I grudgingly set that moniker aside this year. Minnesota is in the playoffs because of the ridiculous start to their season. The Wild (I almost typed North Stars, sigh) are hurt, and the last six weeks of the regular season were brutal for them. If the team that we saw at the beginning of the season shows up, they will give Vegas a serious run. They looked pretty great yesterday, and boy did they make Vegas work for the win at Medieval Times Arena. I still favor Vegas, though. They have most of a team has been here before, and they know how to win in the playoffs. I expect Minnesota to take at least one of their home games, and I think this one goes to 6 before Vegas advances.

Winnipeg vs St. Louis

The Jets have the best record in hockey for a reason that goes beyond Connor Hellebuyck. In the old 1 plays 8 days, I’d give The Blues a stronger upset chance, but I think they’re just outmatched here. This is the only sweep in the first round. Winnipeg in 4.

Dallas vs. Colorado

My heart wants to cheer for Dallas, because my dear friend Stepto (may his memory be a blessing) loved them the way I love my Kings. Colorado isn’t going to make it easy. Blackwood will steal a game for the Avs, and yesterday was not that game; the Stars lost that one all on their own. This series will go 6, maybe even 7, but the Stars are moving on to face the ‘Peg.

Los Angeles vs. Connor McDavid

This is our year. Fucking finally. The Kings have a team that can neutralize Edmonton’s line. The Kings are hot as hell right now, and have home ice advantage, where they had the best home record in the league (like, it wasn’t even close). Kuemper is locked in and Skinner has looked shaky. Edmonton has the best player in the world, another generational talent, and 24 other guys. For the first time in four seasons, the Kings have 4 lines who can score and a goalie who can keep them in it. Kings in 6.

Wales Eastern Conference Round One

Toronto vs. Ottawa

Brady, I’m real happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Toronto actually looks like a hockey team this year, and the Senators are just beginning to draw back the curtains, and open their Cup window. This isn’t Ottawa’s year, which is fucking crazy because it’s NEVER Toronto’s year. They have an incredibly rich history of finding truly creative ways to lose, but I’m picking Toronto because it serves a greater narrative. Leafs in 5.

Tampa Bay vs. Florida

Ah, the battle of America’s Wang. A playoff series for the ages that will live in the pages of hist– yawn I’m sorry I drifted off there thinking about this. These teams are basically even for me, but I freely admit I don’t pay much attention to them during the regular season, so I am absolutely missing a lot of nuance. But given the Panthers’ win last year by a team that they largely kept together, and the absolutely insane leveling up in Matthew Tkachuk’s play during Four Nations, I’m picking the Panthers in 5.

Washington vs. Montreal

Remember when the Habs were this unstoppable force? Remember when the Habs could score one and shut the door? This is not them. This team is mid af, just good enough to make it into the post season, but missing a lot of the parts it needs to go deep. I despise Ovechkin’s Team Putin bullshit, and for that reason alone I want them to get swept. But let’s be honest: the caps are a fucking incredible team who are going to be an autoaxe with legendary mods against Montreal’s weak feral ghouls. Anything can happen in this league on any night (the reason the NHL is the best league) so don’t count them out entirely, but I wouldn’t worry about having to change tee times with those guys in the beginning of April. Washington in 5.

Carolina vs. New Jersey

Hey, did you know the Devils are in the playoffs? Can you name one of their players? I just realized I can’t, and that means I haven’t paid attention to them at all this year. Meanwhile, after I retired Blaine Gretzky because the guy I named him after turned out to be garbage, I started a new create a pro game. My player wears #13, and his name is Johnny Marlowe. He plays for Carolina, and I have developed the same emotional connection to the real team that I had for the Kraken during Blaine’s career. I could come up with stats and reasons to support my choice, but where’s the fun in that? I’m picking Carolina for a silly reason, but it’s still a reason. Hurricanes in 7 because I presume New Jersey has some Dark Horse thing I don’t know about and that makes for good drama.

Round 2

Jets vs. Stars

This one goes 7 and Winnipeg wins in OT. Sorry, Stepto.

Kings vs Vegas

The Kings teams that won the Stanley Cup were built to grind down opponents over a 7 game series. Even when San Jose went up 3-0, the Kings were able to just check them into submission and come all the way back. This Kings team does not play that way, and the longer the series goes, the more it favors the other team. Sure, I could write a script where they do it again against all the odds and blah blah blah, but everything is terrible and I just want some excitement, so I’m giving this to the Kings in 4. Yeah, you read that correctly. Kings sweep Vegas in round two. Book it.

Toronto vs. Florida

In the second game of the second round, something happens in the second intermission. Down a game and trailing, a Toronto team that’s been struggling to keep up with the defending champions breaks through in that third period and never looks back. GG, Florida. Leafs in 7.

Washington vs. Carolina

Some of you may notice that I stealth edited this in, after weirdly forgetting to include it originally. This series is back and forth the entire time. Nobody has a clear advantage, beyond Washington’s power play which is really just Ovechkin on the left side. It’s not enough, and Carolina squeaks past in a series that goes 7 games.

Conference Final

Kings vs. Jets

In reality, this is where the Kings go home.

Yeah screw that. In my story, this is a seven game series. The Kings steal a game in OT, we see at least one goalie battle, but the difference comes from Los Angeles’ young players. Byfield, Fiala, Laferriere and Turcotte surprise everyone with their maturity and composure in big situations. Kopitar and Doughty have been here before, and their experience both leads the other players and neutralizes the half a step or so they’re behind due to age and injury. Kuepmer doesn’t quite give us vintage Quick, but what he does give us rhymes with vintage quick. Winnipeg fully expects to win this at home, not unreasonably. But they didn’t count on this guy over here being the writer, and the Kings win it at home in game 7, right in front of me.

Toronto vs Carolina

It’s a classic Leafs vs Whalers matchup, just like the old days of 2002! Eddie Shore! Old Time Hockey! This is the series where Auston Matthews finally gets the national and casual fan attention he has deserved his entire career. Attention that has eluded him, because, come on, it’s Toronto. The Whale does not make it easy for the Leafs to win the series in 6 games.

Stanley Cup Final

It is the match-up we have all needed since 1993: a replay of the last time the Kings and the Leafs went deep in the playoffs, only this time it’s for the Big One. Leafs Nation wants revenge for the high stick that was not called, while Los Angeles desperately needs a series win that encourages our toxic trait of pretending that never happened. The drama is off the charts for this final. It’s Canada vs. USA. It’s East vs. West. It’s The Past vs. The Future. It’s so much better than whatever is really going to happen (which to be clear will still be cool) because there is no other potential Final match-up that carries this weight. It’s a series for the ages. No game is decided by more than one goal, at least two games to to OT, including game 7. The game and series and Stanley Cup winner comes from a Kopitar snipe at the top of the left circle, short-handed.

Okay, that’s the way I want this to go. And, if we accept that there are an infinite number of potential realities, all of them just beyond our perception, this is the way it will go, in at least one of them. So maybe it’ll be this one.

What do you think? I can talk about hockey the way I can talk about Star Trek. Let’s talk about it! Who are you cheering for? Who do you want to win? Who do you think will win?

And am I the only one who feels like the Stanley Cup Playoffs are always cool, but absolutely taking a back seat to the Four Nations Tournament this year?

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