WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Satan is my motor

  • random thoughts

Good morning, everyone.
Boy, I’m still getting used to the new Moveable Type interface. It’s crazy. Cool, but crazy.
I just have a few announcements this morning:
1. Cake is playing a live concert on the internet, today. It starts at 11AM PST, which means I’ll miss most of it, because I’ll be on an audition.
2. I wrote another story for BBSpot a few weeks ago, and completely forgot to post about it here.
3. I saw this really cool story all about the history of video games, from 1889 to the present, at Gamespot.
4. I have some very exciting and fairly major news about some live shows that you can see me in, provided you’re in Los Angeles. I’ll make the announcement in the next few days.
5. Have you checked out the new crap^H^H^H^H cool stuff I added to the stores, just for Valentine’s day? Can you think of a better way to tell your sweetie you love her than with a WFS box of candy? Mmmm…Classy!
Har.
6. I got an email over the weekend, that I am a pre-finalist for several Bloggies

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22 January, 2002 Wil

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Wonky → ← I have a dream.

130 thoughts on “Satan is my motor”

  1. hot soup girl says:
    22 January, 2002 at 6:22 pm

    hey spudnuts, i love your website. the design is sleek, yet impressive; reminiscent of david bowie’s leotard-clad package in labrynth. i’d like to employ you to create a promotional campaign for my new range of egg-lickers.

  2. Robbie says:
    22 January, 2002 at 6:23 pm

    Two Words: “Hollow Pursuits.” Come ON!!! Did you have a lot of fun eating all of that pie with Mr. Barclay in the holosuite on yesterday;s TNG episode? *applauds* very wonderful performance, Wil! ROFTLMAO! 😉

  3. Jacob Metcalf says:
    22 January, 2002 at 6:26 pm

    Ok Let me revise my eariler posting. You should include a can or soup and some bannana chips and some Peanut butter and crackers in a pre-packaged plastic wrap. that would be more hygenic.

  4. JSc says:
    22 January, 2002 at 6:28 pm

    Ladies and Gents,
    Thanks for the preemptive “welcome backs,” though JS and me are not the same person. Thus the “c” after “JS” in my sig. But hey. Who the fark cares.
    More importantly than Roughy or Rob or me or (dare I say it?) Spudnuts, WW.N is back up! Not necessarily as wonderful as back in the day (yes, I realize “the day” was a mere couple months ago–but EVERYTHING by DEFINITION was better “back in the day”), but certainly far better than this pale shadow we’ve seen during the “dark age” of WW.N.
    AND YET MORE IMPORTANTLY!!!! Mr. Wheaton (SIR!) is doing incredibly well for himself! (Well, except for being downgraded to “third” after His stint on The Weakest Link. And except for Corey (F) Feldman making it into the top two–I turned it off at that point to avoid possibly seeing him win.) It sounds like His job prospects are looking up both within and outside the acting business, and His family life and holidays went well….
    Mr. Wheaton (SIR!) is most definitely having a froody good time.
    Now. Before we go back to spamming His message boards with our inanities (and we have plenty of them!), let’s all give a big (SILENT!) “THANK YOU!” to Mr. Wheaton (SIR!) for all the time and effort He has put into getting WW.N back into working order despite his busy real-life schedule!
    JSc
    (not to be confused with that “JS” poser!)

  5. Jennifer In Lubbock says:
    22 January, 2002 at 6:35 pm

    Booyah, check out evil Wil Wheaton. bwahaha. I like the pic with the mullet.
    But’s not news.. it’s..

  6. Rob Matsushita says:
    22 January, 2002 at 7:53 pm

    >Rob Matsusioaghasdhaghsgshita is a friend of the cheese, even though the cheese cannot spell or say his name.
    Ways that my my name has been mis-spelled, mis-pronounced, or simply gotten wrong:
    Robert Mashed Potatoes
    Robert Massachusetts
    Robert Mats-du-shima
    Robert Mats-du-boosh-ee-o
    Robert Mats-du-shima-boosh-ee-o
    Robert Mazzuchelli
    Robert Masturbation
    Robert Manah-Manah-doo-DOO-doo-do-do
    Robert Mats-do-shithead
    Robert Masturbation Shithead
    …and, of course:
    Ralph Haka-saki.
    Just to clear this up, my name is pronounced:
    God.

  7. Rob Matsushita says:
    22 January, 2002 at 7:54 pm

    As a side note, Wil is one of maybe seven people to get my name right on the first try, hence, the whole him-rocking thing.

  8. Liz says:
    22 January, 2002 at 8:12 pm

    I’m so glad I stumbled onto this site! I’ve always been a fan of Star Trek (so is the rest of my family) and it’s great to find something new to feast my brain on. Anyway, It’s was even cooler to find that Mr. Wil Wheaton did this site himself. When I first entered the URL, I half expected to find a fansite that looked like the rest of internet… boy, was I wrong!
    Mr. Wheaton, keep up the excellent work. You’ve obviously put a ton of time and dedication into this, and it’s in no way going unnoticed. :-p

  9. wil wheathins says:
    22 January, 2002 at 8:16 pm

    rob if im not mistaken your last name is the same as Panasonic’s mother company, Matsushita Electronic Industrial Co.?

  10. rianpie says:
    22 January, 2002 at 8:46 pm

    ow.
    Wil, dude, fix the font sizes. Seriously.
    I like reading your site, I check it often, but if you don’t fix this, my eyeballs are going to fall out of my head. People who want to read font this sadistically small on a vast sea of white space a) have problems and 2) can set their own browsers to “cruel”
    Ah. I see it’s a little better in IE. Netscape couldn’t handle the buttons and makes the fonts worse. I suppose dual-browser support is too much to hope for. sigh

  11. Kaylin says:
    22 January, 2002 at 8:57 pm

    Congrats on being pre-finalist for the Web Blog Wil.
    Though, I have reservations about anything ‘Pre-Selected’….
    Like those Pre-approved credit cards they send you in the mail? You apply for them and then find out that you don’t qualify?
    *Blinks*
    In my case, that’s probably a good thing….
    Cheers,
    ~Kaylin

  12. Roughy says:
    22 January, 2002 at 9:08 pm

    The cheese is down with the cause.
    Hey, where’s that damn Mark Hamill guy, anyway? I still never got to the bottom of that whole light sabre dilemma.
    Does Mark ever post here on his message boards or is this just a bunch of Battlestar Gallactica fans hanging out?
    I definitely need to talk to Mark.

  13. Bill Bekkenhuis says:
    23 January, 2002 at 3:14 am

    Wil –
    Great interactive site. Hope you nailed the audition. You have great (and interesting) fans. I especially empathize with Rob Matsushita’s dilemna.
    We Irish can never get our names pronounced right.
    Regards.

  14. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 3:51 am

    >> hey spudnuts, i love your website. the design is sleek, yet impressive; reminiscent of david bowie’s leotard-clad package in labrynth.
    What the hell are you talking about?
    Spudnuts.com has been closed for several months (years?). And the only site I have up now is the sparse Lakerbago, but how the hell could you know that URL since the only place I’ve posted it was on the Lakerboard which is currently NOT residing at Lakerboard.com, but rather at some undisclosed hidden URL known only to a handful of the most trusted Lakerboard regulars.
    What site of mine are you referring to?
    Certainly not the one I get PAID to maintain.
    That ONE is an ugly-ass beetch.
    And I’ll NEVER reveal the URL of THAT monstrosity.

  15. Rob Matsushita says:
    23 January, 2002 at 4:43 am

    Wil Wheathins said: rob if im not mistaken your last name is the same as Panasonic’s mother company, Matsushita Electronic Industrial Co.?
    ‘Tis true. Sadly, Matsushita is like the “Smith” of Japan, so I’m no relation. I get none of Panasonic’s fat scratch.
    Bill Bekkenhuis said: We Irish can never get our names pronounced right.
    That’s why I married an Irish girl.

  16. T. says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:26 am

    Hey! It’s great to see comments back on this site again, even though we all know what’s going to happen next. 100+ comments per blog will have wwdn bloated in no time flat, and wil will have to come up with yet another fun and interesting way to manage the spam. It’s kind of like how Wesley was always having to bust his ass to save the Enterprise when all the adults were too busy getting addicted to video games or something. (That episode always reminded me of the beginning of Red Dwarf [the book that inspired the show], where all of the people were addicted to a game called “Better than Life”.. but I have meandered away from my point…)
    Still it’s good to see posts from Roughy and Spudnuts and JSc (SIR?) and Rob Mashedpotatoes. And others, I suppose. 🙂
    Yuck, author’s email address required to post here. I don’t like that!

  17. T. says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:42 am

    Ok, correcting myself before I get a nasty email from someone nerdy and more pedantic than myself. Red Dwarf was a tv series first (1988)and the book to which I referred Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers was written in 1989. Now, get back to work you slackers!

  18. hot soup girl says:
    23 January, 2002 at 6:26 am

    spudnuts.
    i’m messing with your head.
    i was actually refering to the (presumably bogus) http://www.cracklinoatbran.com URL you attached to you posting earlier today.
    however, believe it or not, i *have* seen your lakerbago site, and it’s precisely as enigmatic as expected. chunks of text and ‘links’ that went no-where except perhaps to another, virtually identical, page with a different date at the top. it felt like a puzzle i had no way of solving, like david lynch’s ‘lost highway’ without the burning log cabin.

  19. Mary says:
    23 January, 2002 at 7:16 am

    Hey Wil Wheaton! Dude, this is way cool, commenting.. now I feel really important, talking on *Wil Wheaton’s* message board! Woo hoo. I was watching the Star Trek TNG marathon the other day too, and I don’t know why everyone hates Wesley?! Does anyone know what’s with all the kill.wesley.crusher.die.die sites? Aaanyway, hi Heidi! Hey, Wil Wheaton, do you know you have a harem? Me and Heidi are your concubines. Just thought you should know. >

  20. Lobos34 says:
    23 January, 2002 at 9:23 am

    Wil,
    I take it since you have not answered my e-mail’s, you have lost interest in the image I was designing for you? Just wanted to say thanks for letting me try. Enjoy.

  21. william f***ing shatner says:
    23 January, 2002 at 9:44 am

    Gee, a harem? I see new T-shirts coming to the stores soon.
    “Wil Wheaton has a Harem”…
    “Who needs a F***king Posse? Wil has a Harem!”…
    “Real Geeks all have Harems!”…
    Well, gotta go. Time to send one of my people on a Starbuck’s run. Great blog, Uncle Willie.
    The Shat

  22. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 10:08 am

    hot soup girl said:
    >> i was actually refering to the (presumably bogus) http://www.cracklinoatbran.com URL you attached to you posting earlier today.
    Yeah.
    Bogus.
    I formally request from the head monkey that we no longer be required to enter a URL and email address for those who find thinking up fake ones tedious work.
    As for Lakerbago… yes. Messy. You no doubt saw it when it was still in development. Now that it’s “done” it still is messy although the links do go places (one links to this site matter of fact), but basically it’s just a back-up board should Mothership Lakerboard find herself spinning lifelessly in space.

  23. forever_the_optmist says:
    23 January, 2002 at 10:14 am

    Wil, you are SOO sweet to put that up on your website!
    Don’t sweat it … you are most assuredly, WORTH THE WAIT, and for sure, I got the autographed lunchbox at a real BARGIN if you ask me!
    ;-D
    I have to say, that you have REAL class, and like I’ve said before, you’re parents did a great job of raising a fine young man like yourself!
    forever_the_optmist

  24. bluesman says:
    23 January, 2002 at 10:18 am

    in a – Robert Matsushita -Da Vida, Hmm, ok I like “Robert Missippi” myself; Sounds more like an authentic Blues Player.

  25. Rob Matsushita says:
    23 January, 2002 at 10:27 am

    I was wondering when you’d come sauntering back, Blue!
    Personally, I like my pool hustler name the best: “Slop” Matsushita.

  26. Jess W. says:
    23 January, 2002 at 11:19 am

    What a wonderful holiday! My good friend from college was just proposed to by her boyfriend who is jokingly nicknamed “The Reverend”. They are the craziest couple in the world, and I wish them the best. I just thought it was nice to see that some people still celebrate MLK’s life. A lot of people seem to brush it off as just another day off of work. It was great to read the speech again, and the engagement put the icing on the cake.

  27. Mandy says:
    23 January, 2002 at 1:05 pm

    Gah? Comments are back? And no one told me? Now I am languishing down in the high-70’s where no one will notice my poor little inane comment. Sigh.
    Great to have everyone back, honoured to see Spudnuts has returned, looking forward to reading everyone’s take on Life, Wil, and Everything Else again, blah, blah… (I hate posting at the end when it’s all been said already). 🙂

  28. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 1:45 pm

    I check the end of old threads…

  29. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 1:48 pm

    But I also fall asleep with a mouthful of See’s cashew brittle and a porn DVD spinning in my iBook, so maybe this ain’t the kind of neighborhood you want to visit without a can of lysol and a pair of brass knuckles.
    Endofthreadsville.
    The loneliest place on the Internet.

  30. Rob Matsushita says:
    23 January, 2002 at 1:56 pm

    The irony is I sometimes do my best work in Endofthreadsville.

  31. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 2:02 pm

    Fuck it, Rob.
    Maybe I’ll just set up shop at this particular junction of Endofthreadsville. This will be my new pad.
    Some call it a crib.
    Spudnuts
    c/o Satan is my motor
    Endofthreadsville, WW
    90210

  32. Cartoon Beagle says:
    23 January, 2002 at 2:42 pm

    Whoo-hoo! Comments are BACK, baby!!! Yeah!!! Spuddy, nice to see YOU back, in a macabre way. Yeah, I missed you all, too.
    I have opened up my OWN product lines on Cafepress.com (THANK you, Wil, for hooking me up on that… you should be getting some extra cash your way, I put your store down as how I was referred to the site.), and what with Valentine’s day coming up, I thought you might all wanna get your moms something cool… Wil, if you need any of it, I can get it to you for base price, if you’d tell me where to mail it to.
    The addy of my Valentine’s day/Mother’s Day line (which my mom and i co-designed!) is http://www.cafepress.com/wgmom

  33. Bronwyn says:
    23 January, 2002 at 3:31 pm

    Ok, so I’ve been visiting the site for a few months and started to feel kinda voyeuristic. You know reading up on Wil’s life day after day and never introducing myself. I was just starting to think about sending my first comment when *WHAP* the moose wouldn’t let me in. And then no comments. . . and NOW THEY’RE BACK!
    So here I am, introducing myself to Spudnuts and Rob Matsushita (I sympathize with the unpronoucable, unspellable name) and most importantly, to Wil.
    Wil, I know you’ve heard it all before, but I always thought the ST:TNG writers were doin’ you dirty. They obviously didn’t write up to your potential often.
    I’m not going to ramble on, I’ll just start commenting more often. Uh oh, right?
    Anyhoo, take care all you hangin’ here at the end of the thread.
    BTW, are there any microbiologists in the bunch? Looking for others of my kind.

  34. JSc says:
    23 January, 2002 at 4:17 pm

    Good. **SOMEONE** realizes that I am not on a par with Rob or Spudnuts.
    It is, of course, utter blasphemy that Bronwyn mentioned even those two in the same breath as Mr. Wheaton (SIR!). Perhaps, in her youthful ignorance, she can be forgiven her transgression?
    Or must the loyal Monkey Armada be called out to exact righteous revenge?

  35. Rob Matsushita says:
    23 January, 2002 at 4:29 pm

    Now all we need is Misty Mills and we’ve got a quarum.
    And I don’t even know what that means.

  36. JSc says:
    23 January, 2002 at 4:35 pm

    Oh. Before I forget….
    For those of you who remember Amanda, I’m sure she’d stop in and say hi if her computer were working. But it’s not, so she won’t–if that makes any sense.
    Then again, how rare is it that anything I say actually makes sense?

  37. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:03 pm

    JSc,
    Wil is the pretty tropical fish and we are the snails that suck his waste and keep the tank clean.

  38. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:05 pm

    This is Wil…
    http://www.kidsource.com/books/images/1558580093.l.gif
    Look at how shiny he is!
    Shiny!
    So shiny.
    Yes.
    Shiny.

  39. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:09 pm

    Or maybe we are MONKEYS that suck his waste. Ah well. No matter what manner of animal we be, there’s still waste to be a-sucked and if we don’t suck the waste on this site then who will suck the waste on this site?
    Who?!
    No.
    BESIDES Corey Feldman…

  40. Bronwyn says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:16 pm

    JSc, sorry ’bout that.
    And although I may be young on the grand scale, I think the quarter-century mark is old enough. As for my time as a poster, I’m quite the youth, so I’ll grant you that much.
    Mr. Wil Wheaton (SIR!) seems to have some seriously lovestruck young fans posting today. Boy I’m glad I’m not famous. Ok, JSc?
    And Rob, it’s funny that you mention a quorum. . . I could tell you lots about how a quorum works. You’d probably be bored though, unless you’re into bacteria.

  41. Bronwyn says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:19 pm

    Ewww! As I typed my last post, I heard a little licking sound at my elbow. (Now, had I turned to find a gorgeous man there, it would have been perfectly nice – weird, but nice) My cat was drinking from my glass! I’ve seen what she does with that mouth of hers – I hope that’s the first time she’s done that this evening.
    *eww*

  42. hot soup girl says:
    23 January, 2002 at 5:55 pm

    well, here i am in endofthreadsville. kinda nice, actually, as long as you don’t mind the constant siren wailing in the background, and having to step over all the dead zombies slumped against the wall. i’m trying not to breathe in any of that gas they emit as they disintegrate. it’s kinda gross, i have to tell you. smells like curdled milk. or durien.
    anyhow.
    spudnuts.
    i’m disappointed to hear that the lakerbago site was unfinished, since i thought it a fine example of conceptual art. almost as good as yoko ono’s apple.

  43. Rob Matsushita says:
    23 January, 2002 at 7:20 pm

    Bronwyn said: And Rob, it’s funny that you mention a quorum. . . I could tell you lots about how a quorum works. You’d probably be bored though, unless you’re into bacteria.
    Quorum was also the name of a cologne I got for my dad back in the 70’s because my mom said she liked how it smelled.
    They’re divorced, and he’s remarried, and “Quorum” was taken off the market for reasons unknown, so my work there is done.

  44. Spudnuts says:
    23 January, 2002 at 7:46 pm

    Listen.
    About the tank cleaning thing…
    Monkeys, snails, whatever.
    I figure as long as each one of us does their fair share of rock sucking, we can keep this tank clean. And a clean tank means the prittiest fish in the ocean REMAINS the prittiest fish in the ocean.
    I’m thinking one handful apiece.
    If each person here sucks ONE handful of rocks each day then this tank will be clean.
    And people like Rob and JSc and myself won’t have to stay late each day and suck EXTRA rocks just to keep things up to date.
    Fulfill your quota!
    I mean…
    Who is the prittiest fish in the ocean?
    Wil Wheaton is the prittiest fish in the ocean.
    And the prittiest fish in the ocean deserves to have his rocks sucked until they sparkle!
    Am I right?!
    Wait.
    That didn’t come out the way I intended…
    Fuck it.
    You KNOW what I’m trying to say.
    Do your part.
    One handful a day is all I ask.

  45. Laurie says:
    23 January, 2002 at 10:00 pm

    haha, you people are funny! And yes, I’m a day behind! I didn’t notice the comment thing yesterday… 😛
    As for Rob & Bill, I feel for you on the name pronunciation thing. Some people just can’t figure out how to pronounce Patalano… I just say “Umm… Americanize it & sound it out, you dork!” PAT-A-LA-NO… if you’re Italian, it’s POT-UH-LAWN-OH! 🙂
    From me… a really odd person, I’m thinking.
    P.S. Hey Wil, I like this comment thing… it’s really nifty cool. Oh, umm… and what does WONKY mean?

  46. bluesman says:
    24 January, 2002 at 12:54 am

    Since shat jr. is such a big star now he should be able to afford a good filter, I bought an Ehiem for my 20 gallon about 10 years ago and it works well.
    EOT (end of thread)
    MOT (middle of thread)
    MOAT (mother of all threads)
    ME (middle Earth) and since were on the subject, I saw LOTR last night, we went to the last showing and the EOM (end of Movie) was after midnight. They had it on three screens and we were the only ones there.
    IF you Want to go to Heaven when you D-I-E
    you gotta put on your collar and your T-I-E
    as far as the thread id rather be at the bottom than the T-O-P

  47. Rob Matsushita says:
    24 January, 2002 at 4:47 am

    I must admit the last name thing does come in handy when a telemarketing call comes through…
    TELEMARKETER: Is this Mr. Ma…Mash…Ma…I’m sorry, I’m going to mispronounce your name…
    Me: No, you’re not.
    CLICK.

  48. Bronwyn says:
    24 January, 2002 at 4:58 am

    Ha! Yes! “Hello, May I speak with Mrs. Brow. . Broo… Bronso…”
    “Who are you?”
    “Are you Mrs. Broow…”
    “Identify yourself so I can tell you to stop calling me.”
    “Well, I need to speak to. . .”
    Continue this in your imagination for about 2 minutes. Then top it off with my indignant, “Don’t you know basic phone courtesy? Identify yourself!” *CLICK*
    *sigh*

  49. Rob Matsushita says:
    24 January, 2002 at 7:32 am

    This one actually happened to me.
    “Could I speak to an Elisabeth McNeely, please?”
    (This is my wife’s maiden name, but I’m not telling THIS guy that.)
    Who is this?
    “Could I speak to Ms. McNeely, please?”
    Who is this?
    “I need to speak to Ms. McNeely.”
    What’s this about?
    “Can you get Ms. McNeely, please?”
    You wanna tell me why you’re calling?
    “…um…This is a private matter that Elizabeth McNeely has with us, and we shouldn’t discuss it with you.”
    Really? Well, this is her husband. I think you can discuss it with me.
    “No, she told us not to tell you.”
    (I hear suppresed giggling.)
    Who IS this?
    “Dick, just get Ms. McNeely.”
    (Long pause.)
    I want you to say that again.
    CLICK.
    So I figure SOMEBODY just quit their job.

  50. Rob Matsushita says:
    24 January, 2002 at 7:37 am

    One Hundredth post!
    I Rule.
    (Future “I’m 100!” posts will be deleted.)

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