Comments From The Wife

I’m going to start by saying that I am so lame when it comes to computers. I don’t even know how to turn one on. In fact, I’m pretty bad with any electronics. When the daylight savings time happens, the clock in my car is off by an hour for six months. Before meeting Wil, my VCR was always flashing 12:00. Pretty lame huh?
My friends tease me for having a husband who can build his own website, yet I have to ask what a BLOG is. You get the picture. So when Wil told me that he put on his website (he has to read me his entries and prints out responses for me to look at) that he wanted to do something cool for me for putting up with all the time and energy (and MANY profane words) he has put into building and maintaining his site, by doing sort of a “donation box” for a gift for me, I was so touched by this. So touched, in fact, that I had Wil set up this whole little deal here so all I had to do was type what I want to say. And boy, do I have a lot to say. I’m so excited. I feel like I finally have communication with this whole world that I only hear about! I know, you’re probably thinking, “what the hell is wrong with this girl? Does she live in some sort of cave?! Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I live in an Atari 2600 world. Simple, yes. Advanced? No. But that’s ok. I have a husband who can look things up for me if I really need to. But it is pretty cool to finally have a chance to have my thoughts about all this heard. So first things first. (Oh and by the way, I still play my Atari. what the hell is this Playstation thing anyway?)
First of all, I was totally surprised when I came home from work today and Wil told me about his “donation box” story. Surprised mostly because I have friends who read his entries everyday, and didn’t tell me he was doing this. But also that there were enough donations that he was able to get me a gift certificate for a yummy day at a spa. Mmm… massage…. oh sorry, where was I? Anyway, these past few months have been very difficult, but at the same time very rewarding for Wil, as he was able to get his site going. You know, I think it has been for me too. Wil would stay up FOREVER working on this, which meant me going to sleep by myself, and work on it every free moment he had. So it’s nice to see Wil so happy with all his hard work paying off for him. He feels like people get to see what he’s really like, instead of what some “I hate Wesley” fan guy has to say. And just in case you were wondering, I had never seen Star Trek until they started running that marathon on TNN or TNT whichever one it is. Wil watched that thing practically the whole time it was on. He kept saying, ” Oh, this is my FAVORITE episode.” ok seriously, he said that like 20 times. But it was kinda funny that he really likes that stuff. Even when he’s in it. So once in a while he’d say, “look honey! There I am! Man does that suit look stupid. Oh man, look at my lame hair!” But he’s all into science fiction stuff, so that must have been pretty cool to be part of something you like so much.
Anyway, his website means so much to him and I think that it’s so awesome that people have responded so well to it. Of course, he tells me about the occasional lame ass that has to throw in his negative two cents now and then. But I guess that’s the beauty of this on-line world. You don’t have to say your shit directly to the person’s face. But I guess you do what makes you happy. I think that Wil tries to not take that crap seriously. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. I never thought that all his time spent on this entitled me to any sort of gift. I have the gift of a happy husband. (I know… gag) Nevertheless, I am extremely touched by your generosity, and I’ll be thinking of you all while I’m having my spa day. Thanks!
On to the next subject. The most recent entry of Wil’s (at least the one he read to me yesterday, and printed out all the responses for me to read) The 7 things you are thankful for today. My list is for today and everyday since I am a dork with this computer and probably won’t get a chance to do this for another six months
1. My husband- his unconditional love for me and for Ryan and Nolan (my men)
– his little love notes in my lunch I take to work or my suitcase when I go out of town
– the way he rubs my ear at night to help me fall asleep
– when he thanks me every time I do his laundry
2. My aforementioned men (Ryan and Nolan)-the way Ryan laughs so hard he can’t sit up (just like I do)
-when Nolan tells me he loves me and gives me a kiss in front of his class (because he doesn’t care what his friends think yet)
-that they both still make me Mother’s Day cards out of construction paper
– they have Wil’s sense of humor, even though they aren’t biologically his
3. My friends- the handful of close ones I have had for years
– the same ones that have to hear the same stories about the bullshit my ex husband is doing now
– the same ones that we take turns taking each other to the airport
– the same ones that go do stuff with me while my husband works on his website
4. My job- that I’m actually doing something I enjoy-something I chose for a career
-that I can make my own schedule so I can be here for the kids or take a day off to hang out with Wil
5. My health and my family’s health- I know that that seems like a typical one, but we have had a lot of death around us recently, so I am truly thankful that we are all well.
6. Chocolate- need I say more?
7. The Simpson’s- now you’re probably thinking “what? does she mean OJ?” No. Definitely no. As in Homer. You see, that show is probably the one thing that makes Wil laugh harder than anything. It’s funny. He laughs so hard he puts his hand in front of his face, but you can still see that the tip of his tongue curls up. Isn’t that weird? I wonder why that happens. Probably the same explanation as me not being able to sit up straight when I laugh really hard. Just one of those things. Anyway, hours of entertainment, that’s all. And the happiness it brings my husband.
I just loved reading all the responses and lists of everyone’s 7 things. Wil is pretty cool that way. I guess that’s why I married him. He’s a smart guy. An honest, funny, loving, caring, wanting to make the world a better place kind of guy.
I think this whole computer thing isn’t so bad after all! Of course, it’s taken me an hour to type all this. No seriously, it has. I think my 10 year old could type faster than I could. I guess I should finish now. I think I’ll go kick Wil’s ass in some Air-Sea Battle- guided missiles of course. He hates that he can never beat me. Then again, I am 3 years older than him. That gives me 3 more years practice. Whatever the case, he’s still getting his ass kicked by a GIRL!
Thanks again for the awesome gift! And please, tell Wil to wear his glasses (they totally look like the ones Corey Feldman wore in Stand By Me… I think he jacked them) while he’s on the computer. He looks cross-eyed when he’s on this thing for too long (which is everyday)
See ya!
Anne
P.S. Did Wil ever finish telling you about the Vegas trip back in September? I think that was how all this got started and he mentioned a while ago that he hadn’t finished it yet. So let me sum it up for you…. his sketch comedy show was awesome, William fucking Shatner still doesn’t speak to Wil (but I guess he has since then…Weakest Link thing)….we… I should say I, lost my ass at roulette(is that how you spell that?) and our second-hand smoke filled 5 day extravaganza was finished off by my laryngitis, and upper respiratory infection due to all the damn smoke -illness. God I hate Vegas. I can’t wait to go back. Later!

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255 thoughts on “Comments From The Wife”

  1. Whew! I’m saving the Lermontov et al posts! It’s like reading Waiting For Godot! Brilliant, but scary. Scary like watching a car wreck….
    (Anne, see how it degenerates into complete silliness? Addictive!)
    Thanks, Lermontov and friends, for waking me up with a smile. Best part of my day is coffee and WWDN & Friends.
    Corky

  5. Oh.
    And TV’s Wil Wheaton?
    Shut your hole, gateau-boy.
    This site is now officially the domain of the Boneless Bolsheviks of Belarus (BBB).
    No more of your whiny, bourgeois showbiz crap.
    Now, all of your posts will be edited by the Democratic People’s Council on Matters Pertinent (DPCMP) prior to publication.

  6. Reminds me of my government class in high school.
    We were in the most radical group politically, and we named our group the People’s Choice Party.
    PCP.
    We did it for shits and giggles, and we got a decent grade.

  11. Mrs W,
    To quote an honest, funny, loving, caring, wanting to make the world a better place kind of guy…
    If I wasn’t such a badass, it (Your post) may have brought tears to my eyes.
    Mr W,
    thank you for this wonderful cyber-haven.

  15. Geez-how would you like to be Mrs. Wil on this one? Her first post and Spudnuts (er…Lermontov…er Javert…) comes back with a vengeance!
    I’d be in a fetal position on the floor myself. 🙂
    Rob-I think this one’s gonna be a challenge!

  16. Hey Anne,
    I don’t post very often, and didn’t see the famous “donate here” button – but it sure as heck narked me that people gave Wil so much grief for doing something cool for his special lady. And having read your message, you are certainly that.
    I think it must be one of the best things that I have read on the net for months, ‘cos it’s about unconditional love. WWDN keeps Wil away from you for long periods, but you don’t ride his ass about it – you support him, and that’s pretty awesome.
    Gods, listen to me, a limey using words like “awesome”. Hehe.
    Anyway, to coina phrase, Wil Wheaton kicks ass, and so do you.
    Cheers, and take care.
    CM

  18. Spudnuts is kind of like Billy Van on that old “Hilarious House of Frightenstein Show”.
    Rob M I’m sure we’d all love a rendition of “The Return of Spudnuts and Friends” (or is that Fiends?), but we know how difficult it would be so just give us the WWDN drinking game for now. 🙂

  19. Hooray for the return of Spudnuts. And Mrs. Spudnuts. And Lermontov. And Javert, Fantine, Cosette, M. et Mdme. Thenardier.
    I rarely laugh almost to tears within half an hour of getting out of bed – morning just aren’t that joyous an occasion.
    This one was. I’m saving that.
    For posterity.
    Whoever posterity is.

  23. Will,
    You really do need to wear your glasses. They, I assume, are just normal every day glasses with clear glass.
    I am 21 and have to wear glasses and they are orange, this is because I’m dyslexic and I have to wear them to read black print of white paper and let me tell you I have had some rotten stick and horrid taunts about wearing these glasses and a friend of mines brother is dyslexic, 14 years old and his glasses are pink!!!!!
    Be thankful for having just common a garden glasses because I would swap with you any day!
    Spike
    4.12pm GMT
    21 February 2002

  24. OMG – I have read for a 2 weeks now about the infamous Spudnuts. And, finally, he arrives. Thank you, dear Spudnuts, Lermontov and the entire cast of Les Miz (and sadly, I knew from the 24601 where you were going with it!). You missed Marius though. Thanks for the bought of laughter this early in the morning. Got my work day started off well!
    Spudnuts, I wanna party with you.
    Vickie

  26. I’ll never look at Les Mis the same way again. Another of my cultural favorites perverted by the genius of Spudnuts.
    Ian: Congrats on being like the third person to view my website. Glad you enjoyed it. I’m afraid I am already married though. : )
    You know my whole family used to get up at 6am at our cottage to watch ‘Frightenstein’. How dorky is that? Ah well I am Canadian, I’m supposed be dorky. I think it comes from our winters being so cold, we all end up wearing such, um, interesting clothes, especially hats, to keep warm. Don’t believe me, come to Ottawa in January sometime. I swear I saw a lady the other day wearing her ferret as a hat.
    Eh?

  28. Hey, Rob.
    You said you needed more actors.
    Let me know, man. I’m up for it.
    Granted, Spudnuts was the genius behind that thread, but if there’s room for a small little lameass like me, I’ll take it.
    Besides, that bastard still owes me 50 francs.
    Wait…
    50 Euros.
    So yeah, Rob, can I play too?

  32. Anne,
    Thanks for taking the time to write to us. It was really cool hearing from you personally after hearing so much about you from Wil. Nice to know that he has such a special lady in his life.

  33. Gaea:
    I know. I’m in Hamilton, where Frightenstein was originally filmed. Our winters aren’t as bad as Ottawa’s, but I do know what you’re talking about. 😉
    Go Canada! Can’t you have several husbands? That was custom, here in Canada, last I heard… 😉
    From a MUSH…
    Tom says, “You barmy Canadians. :)”
    Ian eats a blubber-filled donut with some backbacon while fishing through the ice in his igloo, eh?

  34. I’m so on, Rob.
    SO on.
    Give me a jingle, baybeee.
    (crap, my paper’s due soon and I’m not done and I’m typing here. What’s up with that?)
    Right then.
    mp3s, here I come.
    Fear me.

  35. I have to mention this…
    I’ve posted several times here, (I especially enjoyed the step-parent one – it got me right here *points to his heart*) and noticed the relationship you two have – feels good to see that there are other people that still believe in the basics of love. My fiancee and I have been through some serious sh1t the past few months, and are working on counseling together to get through it. One thing (yes, the original reason for this post – forgive me for rambling) you guys might want to do – just for the halibut – get a copy of Kenny and Julia Loggins’ book, “The Unimaginable Life”. Just read it. For sh1ts and giggles if nothing else. Even if you dont get the book – go to Kenny’s site and browse the stories and pictures (Especially the Atlantic City 2000 picture with the two corny people in the pic on either side of Kenny in the top-left side of the page *shameless plug*). His songs and the book have opened several views that I never would have even imagined existed, let alone realized were prevalent in our relationship. Also, *applauds* bravo for the way you are supporting Wil and his enthusiasm for his site and all this geek stuff. It took my fiancee a long time to understand, and I still think she’s only touched on the reasons I enjoy the web so much. I _will_ be printing your post out for her though – it may give her the proverbial kick in the butt she needs to get herself more involved in what I enjoy… *grin*
    Welp, Mrs. Wheaton, kudos to you and your family.
    /mushy-blahblah stuff
    y0 wil… any info on the auditions? *crosses fingers*

  36. Hey Anne,
    I really hope you enjoyed relaxing on behalf of WWDN – you deserve it 🙂 Thanks for your comments – we all love hanging out over here, and it’s nice to know that Wil’s lovely lady is ever witter than he is 🙂
    Better tell him to watch up – he’s got competition!
    Elle

  37. This is an embarrassing admission, being the theatre guy, but…
    …I’ve never seen “Les Miz.”
    I had to look up 24601, and I’m still not sure I get it.
    Man, the mp3 may be three or four years in the making.
    But I’m willing to make this a group effort (I’m talking to you, KJB!).
    Anyone who wants a voice in it (and if you have a microphone on your computer), let me know which part you want (except, of course, Lermontov, the Man What Has No Bones–as I claim it like the fascist I am), and email me. I’ll edit a whole thing together in acid, and we’ll bask in the mp3 glory.
    Lord almighty, this could get wierd.

  40. ODB as Valjean.
    William-Fucking-Shatner-Upon-Avon as Javert.
    Shawn Kemp as Gavroche.
    Wesley Crusher, Borg Queen as Cosette.
    Vanna White with a hook as Marius.
    Soundtrack by Chuck D and Tenacious D and Schooly D and Umberto D and Sandra D.
    I saw the Indigo Girls do “Jesus Christ Superstar” in Seattle and it kicked ass.
    Lermontov loves me some lesbians!
    You all think I’m kidding.
    “That’s clever,” you say.
    “Tee hee hee,” you giggle discreetly into your kerchief, well…
    FUCK YOU!
    I mean FUCK YOU/FUCK YOU!
    This fucking musical/film would fucking rake in scads of cash, but Jack Black is doing “Shallow Hal” and Wil Wheaton is doing… something else.
    Corporate entertainment can suck my adamantium-laced endoskeletal cyber-COCK!
    You can’t keep me out.
    forever

  42. shawn kemp is the worst basketball player on the whole fqin planet
    (“Think they stand a chance?” “It would take a miracle.”)

  43. Okay, I finally caught up with all these freakin’ comments! You sure are a prolific bunch! Anyhoo………………
    Mr. Matsushita (see, I even know how to spell it );
    1) Did I mention something about being a whore for finding myself on the Internet to you? I must have, I seem to have found myself on your blog TWICE (kind of) in as many days — yippee — makes a girl happy!
    2) I believe I already told you earlier today that the newest spudnuts really SHOULD be an mp3 — and of course, you know I’m willing to help with the “maybe three other actors” stuff if you need me!
    Oh, and…
    3) you are still… evil and must be destroyed
    — for creating my WWDN addiction!
    Thanks, buddy!
    jill
    reading further down still — ROBBBBB!!! — you’ve never seen Les Mis? It was just here! Even I(!!!) caught on with the 24601 bit!

  44. OK Rob you’ve got to do two things as I see it:
    1. At least mp3 that last Lermontov rant.
    2. Go see Les Miz or at least rent in on video or something.
    And remember boys and girls Lermontov says “Listen to showtunes you stupid f*cks!”

  45. Rob –
    Just in case – 24601 was Jean Valjean’s prisoner number. There’s a big song at the beginning of the show and it ends with Valjean singing “2-4-6-0-1!”

  47. Sheeez! Wouldn’t Mr Wheaton (Sir) be pissed off if his computer illiterate wife scored more comments on his site than he ever has !??
    Nice post Anne, up till 3 in the morning spouting profanities ? – dunno what you’re on about (hehe).
    Hey – give Wil a quick sniff – if he smells unusual check that he hasn’t been crawling round the dining table – he’s got previous you know.
    Don’t leave it 6 months for the next one tho’, the thought of Wil squirming in embarrassment is just – delish.

  48. Senor Lermentov said, “adamantium-laced endoskeletal cyber-COCK!”
    That’s a powerful cock.
    COCK!
    I was playing Hearts on yahoo! with some friends, and someone had set the language filter to “high”. The only word that got through was “cock”.
    We giggled. LOTS.
    So, yeah, Rob, what do I have to do? How much of it? I’m so horribly confused.
    And I’d send you the mp3s of the songs, but I’ve only got them on tape.
    The international cast recording, with the Japanese Eponine, it’s the best. Seriously.
    Ok, yeah.

  49. Mrs.wil you rock!! I think you should have a weekly column on Uncle willy’s site. That would be cool.keep on truckin’. later, jeff.

  50. Wil and Mrs. Wil:
    First, Mrs. Wil… thank you for allowing us to take up so much of Wil’s undivided attention. I enjoy coming to Wil’s site, reading his journal, and sharing it with my husband.
    Wil… what can I say… you rock… nah, that’s kinda lame. How about THANK YOU! For making me laugh, for making me think, for giving me something “online” to share with my husband!
    Okay… yeah, that too was lame, but hey… it’s truth!
    C Ya!

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