167 thoughts on “Longview”

1. Some of my friends are stupid!

2. *BANG* *BANG*
   Not anymore. 🙂

3. From what I heard, the cat peeing problem has to do with marking their territory. The larger the house, the bigger the problem.
   The solution was to take a damp cloth, pet the cat thoroughly with it and then using the same cloth wipe all around the house. And repeat.
   The same cat who never peed in my 2-room apartment, always peed everywhere in my mom’s 2-story house.

4. btw, RE: can’t imagine anything worse…
   I can. I’d tell you, but I’d prolly put you guys off of food. (I’ve lost more friends that way…)

5. fuck ya’ll, none of you know me. and the reason i didn’t want to put my email originally is because i didn’t want all you Wil ballsuckers to send me hate mail, Wil should know about that. anyways, first of all im not a political correct nut, jerk. are you telling me you wouldn’t get offended if he said “nigger shirt”, “kike shirt”, or “cracker shirt” when describing the “type” of people who would wear it? especially if your friends were of the ethnicity he’s speaking of? don’t ever talk to me “kamikaze” about political correctness because your just some stranger with free time who feels he needs to say shit. if instead of acting like a condescending fool mr. wheaton just simply said “i apologize, i didn’t mean for it to come out that way” everything would be straight (no pun intended) but his sarcastic ass feels he has an obligation to be rude and make the situation worse. i am in no way a wil-basher cuz before this i was really diggin this website and the guy, but i was incredibly insulted by that comment and his ignorant response so if you’d like to continue this conversation wil you can address it to me personally at my email. fuck anyone else who has a problem, its none of your concern.
   -Cardonia Natal-Pretorian
   Johannesburg

6. That’s pathetic. Anyone with half of a brain should know that the term “gay” is also used by people who grew up in the 80’s to indicate something that is not “cool.” I’m not saying it’s not offensive. Just that it’s not meant to be offensive. Which makes a BIG difference, I would think. You don’t like it? Come up with something better. Otherwise, people will continue to use it. (See Welsh, on a bet, etc.)

7. Yes those other terms would be offensive, because they are not terms which are in general use. I don’t even consider the ‘gay shirt’ use to have any relation to homosexual people. Maybe it does, but in my mind they are two words with different meanings, ‘gay’ already had at least two unrelated meanings ‘homosexual’ and ‘happy’
   Oh and Wil how about A, B and C? So I am going to stop now.

8. Had a miniature schnauzer who liked to jump into one particular chair and snooze the day away, while selecting another to pee on. Despite his doing this periodically his entire life, my mom one day had enough, and without further ado, drove away and had him put asleep.
   Fortunately, the vet was responsible and cremated his remains with the daily put-down. Had learned about that time the local humane society sent animal remains (from weekly euthansias) to a dog food company someplace upstate. (The thought that my neighbor’s pooch would be dining on ours the following week was rather sickening.)
   Oh, well…

9. Do you use scented litter? My friend’s cat always went in the bathtub, she was a stray, they figured that was her way… but they switched to unscented and the cat loves the box now.

10. long time reader – first time contributor
    wil and all,
    one of the coolest things about having had my preteen star crush on wil wheaton is that years later I discovered this website and that wil grew into a great guy, someone i would have a for real crush on if i knew him in person and um yeah he wasn’t married. not my point.
    i have been reading this site everyday for about seven months now. i *know* wil is a very caring and thoughtful person.
    however, regardless of whether or not he intended to use the word in a derogatory way, it still sends a message. He clearly didn’t mean the “gay” as in looking homosexual, he meant gay as not cool. granted that is the slang we hear a lot these days, but once “japs” was used as regular slang as were other words referring to african americans. despite their frequent use which may have diluted their meaning in some people’s eyes, they originate from cruel notions.
    furthermore, just because those of you in the gay community aren’t particularly offended by wil because you know he meant no harm doesn’t mean use of the word gay in that sense should be encouraged.
    I’m sorry Cardonia was such a bastard. hopefully I have constructively helped y’all to reconsider his/her basic reason for blasting wil.
    words carry power with them. For example, when a coach or instructor yells to a bunch of men in sports or running excercises, “c’mon ladies”, it’s meant as an insult.
    i know this was a rant and a half, not quite the way i meant to enter the wwdn world, but there you have it. if any of you would like to futher discuss this please feel free to email me.
    brie

11. Dammit, Wheaton.
    You gay cat hater.
    So, anyway, back to the story about how you were fighting traffic…

12. Cats are so gay.

13. Like your mother Lermontov.

14. i’ve had cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters, birds and fish. (maybe my name should be noah)
    none of them ever went potty anywhere other than where they should…without reason.
    cats didn’t like a litterbox that hadn’t been changed often enough.
    but ew…i’d have done the show sans shirt…cat pee stinks.

15. Cardonia –
    I know it’s been mentioned, but I feel it needs to be reiterated.
    “nigger shirt”, “kike shirt”, or “cracker shirt”
    All of these are derogatory terms. Gay is not. It is used to describe a lifestyle. I don’t think that most homosexuals are offended if they are called gay. Most of them (the ones that I know) will call themselves GAY. And, AGAIN, “gay” was a term used to describe something that was not cool.
    You need to take a chill pill and chill the f*** out. Get off your high pedastal that you seem to have put yourself on before you fall and break your neck. If you don’t like what you read, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Self-righteous mofos like you really irritate the snot out of me.
    And who was it that said how funny it was that it’s the PC bastards that get pissed, not the ones that are supposed to be offended? AMEN to that one. (rant over)
    On a lighter note – Jason Bickings/Future Wonder – that is one of my dads favorite jokes. He will just, from out of nowhere, sing “The Cat Peed on the Matches!” LOL
    Another fun cat thing – CAT PUKE. It don’t stink like the pee, but there ain’t nothing like opening a bedroom door or stepping out your door, still half asleep into a pile of cold goo. YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

16. Christ.
    The point has been made. Uncle Willy won’t make any more derogatory comments.
    He won’t talk about political issues.
    He won’t talk about the silly guy at the cash register at Ralph’s.
    He won’t say a word.
    In the words of Mike from Frumpy the Clown:
    YOU MUST CHILL
    Okay.
    Oh, and “Cardonia”‘s a purdy name. 🙂

17. When I read something like the first line in this entry, I remember one of the many compelling reasons why I hate cats. Disgusting animals. Blech.
    At least you have the good sense to own a DOG. Now there’s an animal I can love. But a cat? Forget it.

18. I’m just glad to read that my cat isn’t the only cat who pees on things. I thought he was just strange, since all the other cat’s I’ve ever had know where they should pee. This cat is a litter box retard. He just doesn’t get it.
    LK

19. I love both dogs and cats… however, when cats are having nerves, or feeling insecure, I’d rather have a dog… all they’ll do is piss on the floor (it’s all they can reach), whereas a cat will piss and crap where ever they can, which is pretty much everywhere… example: not long after we got married, my wife’s cat crapped on my clothes… I made him stay outside for a while after that.

20. will-
    i had a cat once.the damn thing would piss on anything in site if you didn’t clean her box every 2 seconds.it got to the point where my bedroom door had to be shut at all times.now everytime i see history of the world pt1 i see the invention of the catapult and laugh my ass off.love the site!

21. Thank you KJB, its the name of a type of flower in old South Africa. Americans always say it sounds like a name of a drink…I think its special. 🙂
    -Cardonia

22. AT LAST!
    A problem I know something about.
    To remove the smell of cat pee, you will need to use an enzyme on it to actually neutralize it, not just mask it over.
    CORE products makes a product called Plus II that will help a bunch.
    Disclaimer; Although I do sell janitorial products for a living, this is not to drum up business. Please buy from your local janitorial supply company. (And for those of you who happen to live in NorthWestern Montana, email me)

23. I have a co-worker named Gaye who constantly puts up with ridicule. She thinks it’s funny, though… “WTF were my parents thinking?”
    Anyhoo.
    Back to cat piss.

24. hiya, first time poster (pretty new reader too, actually). love the site, love the comments. wil, you’re a swell guy. that being said, i have two things to add to the already-bursting thread:
    1) i haven’t seen this mentioned yet re: cat pee, but i’ve heard that if you put a few drops of vinegar (of all things) in their water, it somehow helps neutralize the icky odor in their pee. i have 2 cats, but i’m apparently too lazy to keep up the vinegar dosage regularly to notice whether it works or not, but it may be worth a try. the comments that people had about urinary tract infections are also very true. take your kitty to the vet, just in case!
    2) re the whole “gay shirt” comment: being gay myself, i can say that i always cringe when people (gay, straight, or whatever) use the word ‘gay’ in that way. i have only heard it used that way in a *negative* context, whether or not the person who says it is anti-gay or not. this, to me, justifies NOT using it that way, because it just reinforces a negativity and (in a sense) is really just verbal bashing. **please don’t get me wrong!** i know that wil isn’t anti-gay, and neither are any posters i’ve seen here, and he wasn’t ‘verbally bashing’ anyone when he said that. i’m just saying this from the perspective of someone who’s had to come out and lives with the reminder daily that society at large considers me “not normal” (whatever THAT means). i also know that the word ‘gay’ in the context wil used it is now an increasingly common slang term, and that people don’t mean anything anti-gay by it. but the inference remains the same: gay = bad. perhaps it’s a generational thing for me to get over, too, since i’m 34 and i have friends who are younger who use it this way. in the same vein, i know lots of people who use the term “indian giver” without a second thought, but its roots are in a bad stereotype as well. i just hate to see it come to a point where ‘gay = bad’ is an accepted thing in the language. sorry to be so controversial in my first post. please don’t come down on me like ya’ll did on cardonia. it’s just my perspective and my 2 cents on the subject… peace, -f.

25. Space Cadet said “And Wil, as a wife of a fellow ‘computer geek’ I so appreciate my own computer, networked to my hubby’s.”
    My fianc

26. Ive been lurking here for a while but the cat stories made me laugh so much I just had to say that wil you really have your finger on the pulse. and I include the following list of cat sayings that only cover the basic of what having your sisters cats come to live with you cover:
    “Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer.” –Bruce Graham
    “There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” –Unknown
    “Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” –Anonymous
    “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” –Jeff Valdez
    “In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.” –English proverb
    “As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” –Ellen Perry Berkeley
    “One cat just leads to another.” –Ernest Hemingway
    “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” –Mary Bly
    “Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.”
    –Joseph Wood Krutch
    “People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.” –Faith Resnick
    “There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” –Anonymous
    “I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.”
    –Hippolyte Taine
    “No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.” –Unknown
    “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” –Albert Schweitzer
    “The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.” –Ernest Menaul
    “Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.” –Unknown
    “Time spent with cats is never wasted.” –Colette
    “Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.”
    –Missy Dizick
    “You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.” –Colonial American proverb
    “Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.”
    –Joseph Wood Krutch
    “I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.” –Unknown
    “My husband said it was him or the cat … I miss him sometimes.” –Unknown
    “Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit –Unknown
    Oh and by the way Cardonia relax a bit and dont take everything too seriously

27. Who said cats were disgusting?
    Have you ever witnessed your dog eat his shite? I’ve seen mine, hell, he’d even eat the cat’s shite out of the kitty litter, or eat the shite on a forest path left by another dog. It’s bloody revolting. Then he looks at you all sad, and tries to lick your face. Christ! What is it with dogs and eating shit?
    Though, one of my friends had a cat that had a tendency to piss in people’s shoes that were left at the front door. Damned thing.
    Ah. All animals are disgusting in one way or another, I guess. Even humans. ESPECIALLY humans.

28. Frank, no one here is going to jump all over you. You didn’t attack us. I think that the use of the word “gay” in that context must be a generational thing, because it’s generally people my own age or about 4-5 years older who do so. I don’t use it that way myself, but that’s because I self-regulate my vocabulary, because of where I grew up. (small town- need I say more?) I also have friends who are gay and wouldn’t want to denigrate them, however unintentionally. (Though I am prolly sensitive to denigration, being a Teacher’s Kid.)

29. “one of my friends had a cat that had a tendency to piss in people’s shoes that were left at the front door.”
    Ive got friends who have pissed in their Mothers underwear drawer (under the affluence of incohol) and tried to blame it on the cat?!?

30. * dake ROFLMAOPMS

31. I have worked for a vet for almost 8 years now (seriously). The reason a cat urinates outside of its litter box is either physical or psychological. If it were an isolated incident I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If it continues, the first step is to take Felix to the vet for a urinalysis test to check for infections. Urinary infections a very common in cats and can usually be cured by a round or two of antibiotics. Psychological problems are a little more difficult to deal with. Cats are very picky animals and can be very strange about things. They might not like the type of litter, the litter box, the location of the litter box, the day of the week, what’s on TV. Some cats are crazy! The trick is in finding what your cat does like. Remember- You don’t train a cat, it trains you. As for urine odor, There is a spray called FON the kills the smell. You have to get it from a vet, but it works very well.
    As for the “gay” thing, I am gay and wasn’t offend by it. People are so sensitive about things. I’m not for hate groups of any kind, but what will happen if we feel like we have to watch everything we say for fear we will hurt someone’s feelings? Comedy will die. We will be a bunch of mindless PC automatons.

32. Its official, Wil is a bad ass, a cat-peed on bad ass. Way to suck it up Wil. Good show.

33. http://www.unrealisticexpectations.com/logimages/kittieporn.jpg
    Gay cats.
    “kitty porn”
    You’ve been warned. 20%.

34. look closely Roughy No way are those cats “flying united”

35. Wil (and Anne, too)
    We have four cats. I love cats, but they can be ornery cusses. I have a suggestion. Go to the pet supply store. Buy a large wire crate, the kind that are typically used for large dogs. The one I have is about 2 x 2 x 4 feet. It cost about $60.00. Find a quiet place for it, preferrably close to the place you want his litter box to end up. Put a litter box in the back of the crate, and food / water in the front. (Hopefully, the water should be in something that can’t spill.) Put in something soft to nap on, like an old towel. Put Ferris in the crate whenever you aren’t home to keep an eye on him, or when you are sleeping. I’ll bet that within just a few days, that litter box will be part of the normal routine for your cat. You have to keep it clean, though. Use the scoop kind of litter, and scoop it every morning and every evening. Ferris won’t want to poop or pee where he has to spend a lot of time, I guarantee! After a while, try leaving the door to the crate open during the day, but keep the litter box and food in the crate. See if he uses the litter box when it’s his choice. Then, move the food and water out, and just keep the litter box in the crate. Eventually, you should be able to eliminate the crate and move the litter box to a permanent home, but be aware -cats don’t like it when their litter is moved around a lot. Gradually shift the location to the place it will end up. And remember, you must keep it clean. Cats have sensitive noses. (Wonder how come they don’t get grossed out by the smell of their own pee?)
    It’s worth the investment in the crate, even if it saves only one favorite shirt or hat. Cat pee is noxious! Hope this helps.
    Corky

36. Just weighing in on this gay issue: While it’s true that the way we speak informs what we think to a certain extent, and to be certain, at some point in his life, Wil must have “learned” even if only on a subconscious level that gay = uncool, to expect people to so censor their vocabulary as to eliminate all words of potentially prejudicial coloring is silly. It is to rob all speakers of their individuality to some – even if only minute degree in the beginning – it is the first link that binds us all. Get offended at content, not slang; it’s what preserves a part of our cultural history.
    /is flicked by a rubber band from the crowd and stumbles half-blindly from the soapbox…

37. BTW Roughy: You are a sick cat-pimp. And you smell like limburger. 😉

38. Wimpy cat link, Roughy. And no, mine isn’t porn. It’s B Kliban.
    http://www.eatmousies.com/

39. Brie and Frank: Thanks for the comments. My issue with Cardonia was not so much the message as the way it was presented and she seems to have settled down. I have no problem with arguing different points of view, just with it getting personnal and nasty. I know this issue has been hashed to death, but I would be curious to find out if anyone knows how that slang word came into existence. I am facinated with the evolution of words *boy that sounds lame*
    I now return you to your regularly scheduled cat pee.
    p.s. Canadian women win gold in hockey YAH!

40. As a gay man, I felt no offense from Wil’s use of the “gay” word…As Frank or noworriesmon mentioned (can’t remember which one), while it can be seen in a negative light, I feel that I can confidently say that Wil’s intent was not meant to be negative in any way.
    My curiosity (which would have definitely killed any cat that peed on any furniture I had!) has arisen though, as to just WHERE Wil bought the afore-mentioned “polyester-blend” type shirt?? And, are there any more like it??? 😮 )
    I’m a dog lover myself…don’t hate cats, just prefer dog slobber to cat pee.
    Take care,

41. ATTENTION PLEASE
    We no longer refer to it as “Hell’s Kitchen”, it is now known as “Clinton” (and was known by that name before the president of similar nomenclature came around)
    You may now return to your posting mayhem.

42. I like the idea of putting Ferris in the crate with the kitty litter box and water in order to teach the cat to use the litter box. The question is, does the cat go into the crate with the dog, or is it just the dog and then the cat gets to go without a litter box for long periods of time to teach it a lesson?
    Okay okay, I know it was a mistake. But, it made me laugh to consider it.

43. Roughy Said:
    “Gay cats.
    “kitty porn”
    You’ve been warned. 20%.”
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahaa.. you kill me! I seriously choked on my coke when I read that.
    Thanks for the icky monitor…

44. Roughy – you crack my shit up.
    Too f’in funny. Of course, I’m off to bed and that will be the last image I see before heading off to bed. So help me, if I dream about cats getting it on, I’m hoppin the next plane to Chi-town and hunting you down……

45. look closely Roughy No way are those cats “flying united”
    Posted by: Noir on February 21, 2002 06:45 PM
    I just looked closely a few minutes ago, when, yet again, the brothers…well, let’s just say that someone was sledding and someone was the sled.
    And maybe they weren’t entirely sledding, but I can assure you that only one of them was “along for the ride.”
    Eh, admit it, you’re just jealous that this is the thread and I’ve got more truly funny cat pictures than anyone else…
    As my with-bones idol, Fred Durst would say, “There’s a lot of Hatorade out there…”
    But, it’s okay. I don’t mind leading the pack. There’ll be another piss-ridden thread that I *won’t* have pictures for, I promise.
    Although that damn Fowler shows up everywhere with his camera…damn him.

46. Wil,
    As usual, i read all of this after 100+ posts…
    Anyway… Aint cats funky like that. Take my furball… The only time she EVER… underline, exclamation… EVER pisses on something other than her litter box is when the door to the closet its in is closed. Then, she’ll pee on the news papers on the floor next to the door, or the wad of dirty clothes on the floor in my room, etc. etc. But the only time her pee ever gets on the floor is when it runs off or seeps through what ever she peed on. Never on the carpet itself.
    Now, her hair balls are another story. When you hear that sickly hacking, with light girgle, man, take cover. Those things bounce off walls and land in the flower pots. (she’s long haired)
    But, i cant complain much. Shes really good about it all. Specally considering she turns 20 in April.

47. WIL!!!!!!!!
    Take your cat to a vet if he keeps peeing! Last year my cat, Mojo, started peeing all over the house. At first I got mad, but it turned out he had a kitty disorder (Idiopathic Lower Urinary Tract Disease)and would have died within hours if we hadn’t rushed him to the vet. A thousand dollars and 3 vets later, we finally got him cured by a cool cat hospital. Go figure.

48. Now that we’re all sharing cat stories, I used to have this really good cat named Tabby. She never pissed on anything, but got creative when I left her alone one weekend.
    I came home to find a pile of barf on the middle of the stove with a curly little turd right on top.

49. wil said:Boy, that description really makes it sound gay, doesn’t it? Trust me, it was fairly cool
    noworriesmon sed: If you don’t like what you read, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
    Hmmm, I disagree, one of the things that seems to make this site work is freedom of speech. & If everyone agreed about everthing here, how boring would that be?
    Cardonia said he/she was offended and upset and typed out what was on his/her mind; probably could have been less “Fuck You in the Ass”(not that theres anything wrong with fucking in the ass) about it.

50. I don’t really have any pet bathroom stories. My pets are boring. Except the cats leave little “balls” around now and then (like my cat will be sitting in a chair, then much later I’ll find this stupid little ball of poop right where she was sitting.) Oh, and my dog goes to the bathroom out of spite. I’ll put her in a room for two seconds by herself, i.e. when someone comes over, and when I let her out … without fail … there’s always either “#1” or “#2” on the rug.
    The gay clothes uproar? uhhh, I think it’s a bit silly. Reminds me of Daniel Drennan’s “90210” wrapups, which make no sense if you don’t watch that show but are totally hilarious if you do. He is very openly gay, yet always wrote stuff like: “Steve enters, wearing a queenie blue turtleneck” or “Brandon, wearing a gayla brown shirt…”
    I guess it just depends on the person, but I doubt Wil expected THAT to be the second-main focus of these comments!

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