Onion head hat

As a step-parent, I have this strange set of ever-changing boundries that I have to respect with my step-kids.
On the one hand, it sort of sucks, because I don’t think I’ll ever be as close to them as I want to, even though they live with Anne and me. On the other hand, I totally respect and understand their limits, and I am not about to force myself on them, or force them to have a relationship with me that they aren’t ready for. For example, I don’t ever want to be called “dad”. I’m really happy just being “Wil”, because they’ve alread got a dad. I’ve made a point of that, over the years, and I think that it has made things easier for the kids, because I’m not putting them in an uncomfortable position of having to choose who they love more, or who they want to be around.
The other side of that is that I sometimes feel like my influence on them is minimized, and that they aren’t “getting” the same things that they’d be “getting” if I was the only father-figure in their lives.
But sometimes, things happen, and I really see myself in them, and it’s just awesome.
Anne and I worked long days today, and we realized that there was no food in the house when it was time to fix dinner, so we decided to go out to eat.
Normally, I’m not a big fan of the dining out experience. Somehow, I’ve managed to avoid the being a waiter part of being an actor, and I think restaurants scare me, because I know I’m “The Curse, Part 4” away from asking if anyone would like to know what the “soup du jour” is, and then sighing sadly when my answer, “that’s the soup of the day”, doesn’t elicit the peals of laughter that I was hoping for.
But when there’s no food in the house, and I don’t want to order pizza, our options are limited.
So we put the kids in the car, and we headed out to a local eating establishment for some grub. While we were there, a couple of things happened, and I totally saw myself in both of the kids, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
But it didn’t, because I’m a bad ass, and I’m cool, and tough, okay? Okay?!
Okay.
So we’re eating underneath this picture of Jack Nicholson, the one where he’s holding a magnifying glass, and his teeth are huge, and his chin is pulling a Leno.
I point at it, and I say, “Hey, guys, do you know who that is?”
Ryan says, “Drew Carey?”
“No,” I reply, “it’s Jack Nicholson.”
“Oh,” says Nolan. “I thought he was dead.”
Then they look at each other for a second, and explode into laughter. Of course they know Jack Nicholson, they tell me. They were totally messing with me.
Which is something that I would do.
Later in our meal, Anne is telling the kids that the exterminator came to our house today, and he left some traps in the attic…she then tells the kids, “So, later tonight, you may hear: scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…” And she SLAMS her hand on the table, and shouts, “BAM!” which she immediately follows with this screaching “EEIPPE!” noise.
Ryan looks at the table across from us, and he says, to the couple who is staring at my wife, “I don’t know this woman. I am so sorry.”
Which is something that I would do.
After dinner, when we’re back in the car, Nolan says, “Wil, can we listen to Jimmy Eat World?” I tell him no, because it’s in the CD player at home.
He follows that up with a request for Tool, and a request for Bad Religion.
I inform him that both of those CDs are also at home, and Ryan says, “How about Cake? Can we listen to Cake, Wil?” He begins to hum “Comfort Eagle” to himself.
J.E.W., Tool, Bad Religion, and Cake. Every last one of them bands that I listen to.
Oh, and a few days ago, Nolan was on the phone telling his friend, “You should never wait to tell your mom that you love her.” He waits, while his friend presumably asks him why, and tells him that you never know what’s going to happen to someone, so they should always know that you love them.
Which is totally something that I do.

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164 thoughts on “Onion head hat”

  1. Okay, I’m a posting-at-WWDN virgin, so don’t trample me with all of your familiarity.
    (Did that make sense?)
    I kinda know what you mean, Wil. I had an aunt back in good ol’ MI who was like a second mother. She and I grew more alike than my own mother appreciated.
    “Public nudity and psychics — don’t kill the vibe.”

  2. Great post, Wil. You’re living proof that there’s more to being a father than just being a sperm donor…and that you don’t have to have contributed to a kid’s DNA in order to contribute to who they are. We are all more than just our DNA, after all.
    Everyone should learn from your example.
    Now, go enjoy your “weekend off!”
    Eric

  3. noworriesmon said: “There’s something incredibly dreary about caucasian people in the Christian Religion”
    Two Stereotypes in one statement, How tolerant is that?
    Not very Rastafarian of you; What if someone came on here and started talking about atheists, agnostics, etc. Would they be Preaching? & what if they made comments about African Americans or Hispanics? What would that be?
    why dont you quit preaching your message and try to pick up on the Positive Vibration thing?

  4. Hee hee, interesting this post is about family. I’m up late and watching “Nick-at-Nite” and you’re on the Family Ties they’re showing right now … *creepy music plays*

  5. Heh, the kids listen to Tool? And so do you? Rock on buddah, nice to run across a family that has taste in music.
    Now preparing to visit my country-music-loving girlfriend… I can forsee our fights over music in the apartment already:)

  6. Hello Wil.
    Welcome to the joy of raising kids. Sometimes they can really push all your buttons. Then you have a day like you had and it all is worth it. The worries, the stress all disappears when they do something like that.
    Keep up the good work on your site Wil, its great to drop in semidaily.

  7. Hey Wil,
    I have a step-dad and I just want to say that your step-kids might one day surprise you on how much they concider you apart of their family. I hate using the word step when refering to my mom’s husband cause he is more of a father to me than my real dad ever was…due to unfortunate events that happened in my life. My second dad was a great male role model. And at my wedding he walked me down the isle …along with my first dad. From what From what you wrote I can see that you are a great second dad to them. The more loving people in a family the better.

  8. I hope you read this. This is really cool that you have your own website now I can write to you and not mail it out. I just wanted to say happy valentines day. I believe the las time I wrote I was against you on something now I see where you are coming from. I think you are a great guy. You seem to be like one of those keepers that are so hard to come by. From what I read you are a great step dad. Those are too hard to come by. So I just wanted to say thank you for all you do. Just incase no one has ever said that cause you deserved to be thanked.

  9. Oh jeezy creezy…
    I didn’t realize I’d started a manoovah!
    (okay, it’s really more of a gesture at this point)
    I was imagining my children at the playground, running around…COVERED IN BEEEEEEESS! Maybe if all of your children were at the playground too, we wouldn’t be looked at askance.
    Yeah, right!
    (by the by, you can get now Definite Article and Unrepeatable on NTSC video from izzardmerchandise.com)
    Je suis le president de Burundi.

  10. Geezy creezy, bluesman! Who got your knickers in a twist?? It was a freaking quote. Eddie Izzard? talked about him all day? ring a bell?

  12. Hee hee, and I just won an auction for Glorious! Thanks, Gesikah, for gettin’ my back – was about to type about the same thing when I saw that you already had.
    You say “erb”, we say “Herb”. Why? Because there’s a f***in ‘H’ there!

  14. Hey all!!
    Sorry.. I got kidnapped by three beautiful girls promoting a band. And we’ve promoted 12 hours in the last 24.. I’m pooped I say!
    And thankfully the cops never caught us…
    (OSU Campus is now a beautiful wonderland of papered polls) So I’m getting into the show free and I will demand free drinks (I usually charge for this shit) as compensation for some hard work and even doing a grocery store. Sad I know.
    So if you’re in the Columbus, OH area and know where the Newport is.. come check out Flickerstick and Abandoned Pools (or something- I need a nap.. chill)
    Don’t touch the drummer for your own safey.
    I miss Spuds
    Glad I still have Rob M.
    Night!

  16. Whoa, Uncle Willy was on “Family Ties”? Sweet.
    Those kids rock, man. They have chosen wisely.
    But why do they rock?
    Simple.
    They’re what, 10ish? ‘Round there, tops?
    So, yeah.
    Any kid that age who can be so like Uncle Willy, and so sweet, is beautiful. In more ways than one.
    And hey, you don’t feel like Charlton Heston, who felt like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
    I have no idea what movie that was.
    So far, it has sucked.
    Then again, there’s a man steering a dsrv type thing, with a larger man on his stomach between the first guy’s legs.
    I’m still lost.
    If you play “Schism” backwards, it says:
    Jack Nicholson is dead.

  17. my dad raised me on the wildest music and a strange childhood.
    and despite how much i try to say i am an individual, i look back and se what i do and what i listen to and who influenced me and i shake me my.
    it’s not because it’s a blood relation, it’s because he was there for me, wil.
    my father only sired three children, but there are people all over the country who come to visit him and call him “dad”. they say he was more of a fathe than their father was.
    i bet your step kids think of you as “dad” but they don’t know how to say it.
    hold them tight.

  18. hey wil,
    i read that letter form jess and i really think you should give her another chance. i mean, shes obviously very sorry. what do you say?

  21. Aw! Tell me that’s not the cutest letter! give her another chance Wil!
    Wil,
    Please answer me back telling me why you won’t unblock me from your site, I told you that I’m soo really really sorry that I did something wrong on your comments page, soapbox, and stuff. I asked this guy that also goes to your site, the one that always used to yell at me, and I asked if he was able to get on your site, and he said yes, and I told him that I couldn’t get on, and he told me that it wasn’t Wil’s style to block people. And I agreed, because your so cool and sweet, especially in Stand By Me. I’m really
    really really sorry! Please, please forgive me, and unblock me from your site because I can’t get back on it anymore because it says forbidden. I won’t be bad anymore I promise, I swear, Please please unblock me so I can get back on your site? please your my favorite actor and i’m soo upset please?..
    love jess
    *Vicky*

  22. You really want me to tell you it’s not the cutest letter? Cuz, I will….
    See, there I go, sticking my nose in when I have no idea of the situation. I just didn’t think the letter was cute. It was annoying, IMHO. How old is this person, 12? She obviously did something that was “bad” or offended either Wil or someone. But, it ain’t my site and Wil is free to do as he chooses.
    And, if I have offended anyone, I am sorry. Other people were expressing their opinions, so I thought I would too.

  25. I don’t know what this Jess person did, but apparently they’ve been blocked from entering the website. Through someone, they have a message posted (twice, I might add) desperately begging Wil to let them back on the site.
    Like sands thought the hourglass…..
    Vickie (wow, there are a lot of us all of a sudden! Kinda like the multiple Jons!)

  26. It’s a pity for this Jess that Wil’s pampering his wife. He won’t be reading this for some time.
    Klug, the guy from the US who did fairly well in the snowboard slalom, proves it once again:
    No matter how good you are as a snowboarder, you will spend most of the time on your ass.
    Anyone got any pie?

  30. The cheese was on TV tonight.
    Hope y’all didn’t miss me behind the hoop at the Bulls game….
    Well, during the first half at least, when we were behind the Nets’ basket and there were fast breaks all the time, that is.

  32. What this Jess person did may have something to do with this message I found in Soapbox:
    sparklineyez12
    Member
    female
    New York, USA
    RE: RE: RE: Things that never should have changed
    Posted: Sunday, January 27 2002 03:19 PM
    ——————————————————————————–
    ok, lonteter guy, you are a gay bitch
    its not my fault your all old and we’re all young and perfect!
    ——————————————————————————–
    _-*JeSs*-_
    I don’t know anything about it, this is just what I was able to find. There may have been more and nastier posts after that which were deleted.

  33. My monitor keeps making a clicking/sort of popping sound and at the same time the picture gets a little bigger then goes back to the right size.
    Does anyone know if this means its done for, I tried adjusting the refresh rate.
    Thanks

  34. Bluesman:
    You can often get this problem in older monitors when the high voltage current from the flyback transformer starts to fluctuate intermitently. While it is fixable I suspect that the cost of repair would be more than the cost to replace, given the low cost of new monitors today.
    John Mcgregor

  35. Wanna know how self-involved I am? When someone said something about Jess, I thought they were talking about me at first. 😉 I couldn’t imagine what I had done though cuz my first post on this thread is my first one ever on here. In fact, the posts on this thread are my only on here, so yeah, I am egotistical.

  36. That’s awesome Wil… Just add to that feeling all of the kids around the world that have seen your work, and laughed, or cried… You have a HUGE influence on everyone in your lives, and it IS important to tell the ones you love that you do acknowledge them… wait…I’m getting something over here… is there a P or Q in the name? Has he crossed? There’s something to do with a beehive and a stopwatch…. Shit! I sound like like the guy on “Crossing Over”!

  38. Aws!!
    Rob.. I soo would of loved it if you and Spud could of sat with us at the concert last night and made fun of Flickerstick. I pratically had to be tied down- I kept trying to walk out and then after the band trashed another on stage.. i wanted to climb up there and smash the pretty guitar over that drama queen’s head.
    But i didn’t because I love the guitars too much.
    Glad I didn’t pay for that trash.
    Abandoned Pools is a godawful opening band.
    Flickerstick… man.. sore winners. Still.
    Love to Wil and his fam!
    I’m going to jam with the Media Whores.
    ^_~

  41. Yes Rob Matsushita it was you that I meant when
    I said “Rob”..was there ever any doubt?
    Now not to change the subject ot anything but
    when the hell does Spudnuts come back?
    PLEASE does anyone have this answer? Yes I ADMIT
    I am desperate..well ok kinda.

  43. He said back in 12…so I’m thinking that may have meant days.
    Of course, last time he said he’d be gone for a year–and that was in October or September.
    I’m willing to bet we’ll all know when he’s back.
    “Merde! Thees ees the fourteenth time zees hour my download of zee JPEG of le package de Bakula she is broken!”

  44. Re: “Yes Rob Matsushita it was you that I meant when I said “Rob”..was there ever any doubt?”
    Well, you could have always been talking to me. “Rob” and “JSc” are so very close in spelling that it’s become a common mistake at times! Thank god “Cheese” and “‘nuts” have more letters….
    Re: Jessica sit’n
    Mature behavior is epxected of everyone here. It’s Mr. Wheaton (SIR!)’s choice how he wants to deal with those lacking the maturity to maintain a certain level of decorum.
    Personally, I’m really looking forward to when he puts the oversized Grimace toy up in the PlayLand over in the soapbox….
    That or one of those “wheel of death” things that were so much fun to spin so fast that everyone went flying off, landing in the wood chips or sand or whathaveyou.
    Re: Stepparents…
    I’ve noticed that a lot of people have great stepparents, or are married to great stepparents (not their own stepparents, hopefully. I mean, I’m “down south” now, and I’m getting more used to all things redneck, but still….)
    Yeah. Where was I?
    Right.
    It’s cool that there are so many cool stepparents out there, but keep in mind that stepparents, like genetic parents, are just people. They can be either great or awful, depending on the individual.
    Etc.

  45. Sorry for the horrible spelling and grammar above. I’ve been reading a lot of scientific articles from people who don’t speak english as their native language. It’s been rubbing off, I fear.
    I’ll have to go review my fourth-grade spelling book.

  46. Roughy, Bulls games are broadcast worthy?
    Jerry Krause is the Executive of the Century, barely edging out Rick Pitino. An absolute genius. A people persons people person. He will swindle the Celtics out of Vitaly Potapenko for the Bulls #1draft choice.

  47. Hey Jsc – thanks for the memories!!
    The spinning wheel of death, hey? LOL
    We just called it the roundabout. I haven’t thought of those things for ages 🙂

  48. heya will…(lol..for some reason..that cracks me up..but then dear sir would be sorta strange too don’t you reckon? ;p)
    hmm..growing up i had two sets of parents..it wasn’t birth parents and step parents but it was adopted parents and birth parents…i had grown up adopted in stripes and stars and was what i truly believed inside, a bloody crazy ass bearing crazy american but yet, i wasn’t at all. i was of a different background and a different color. no siree. i was anything but that. and so i struggled, to conform, to fit in, to find bearings when there were no guides, to understand.
    i understood that they didn’t give me up, that this was indeed a needed arrangement, that i was still their daughter, not the outcast..but i didn’t know them and when the rules changed i was sent back. to relearn my culture, traditions and all that good stuff.
    but basically, what i was really trying to say is that it seemed odd and bloody strange and complicating but really, in the end, no matter all the crap that came with it…it was fucking brilliant. it was perfect in imperfection.
    dad’s are an amazing thing. and it don’t matter if some stupid dna in you doesn’t match theirs, it what i’ve learnt from them, both of them, my conservative chinese dad that is extremely patient in teaching me things and letting me appreciate beauty in everything, pampering me to the spoilt little brat i am…to my american dad, that taught me how to barbeque a mean piece of steak, and takes time in running through everything with me, that listens to me when i’m upset, that hugs me every morning, that tells me i’m his princess. it’s stupid. it’s childish. it’s complicating finding balance but in the end, i really wouldn’t trade it at all. nope, not the laughter, the giggles, the tears, the sarcasm, the bullshit, the way my dads slip and mesh and the way i’m comfortable in us being labeled a dysfunctional family because in the end, i’m happy.
    and if all of that wasn’t relevant or sounded like good ol bs to you…OOOPs.
    ;p
    have a great day!

  49. Wil: I shared much of your angst re: step-parenthood in my thirties and forties. I didn’t screw it up too badly, and neither will you. Relax. Mine opted for calling me “dad”, and I always knew that it was with a little “d”, which was cool with me.
    They grow up in about an hour any way. Relax again.
    I can’t relate to the music, altho I am familiar with the groups. Too much Cake is not good for your waste-line. Me, I opt for Aretha and Etta, but in the end, it all takes you where you need to be.
    Rock on. Hud

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