Still Cool

Imagine if you can that it’s the summer of 1988. Not too hard, what with the terrible economy, deficit spending and incompetent president.
Still with me?
So it’s 1988, and a little show called Star Trek: The Next Generation is in it’s second season. It’s struggling a little bit, experiencing the typical sophomore slump of any new series, and a writer’s strike is not helping very much.
In the summer of 1988, I turned 16 years old, and, just like the Corey’s, I got a License to Drive!
It’s well documented within the Star Trek community that Patrick Stewart and I bought almost the same car, a 1989 Honda Prelude…the, uh, only problem is, I bought a model that was just slightly cooler than his. (He got the si, and I got the si4WS, baby.) Patrick has really had fun over the years, teasing me about how, since then, he’s always had cooler cars than I do, to which I reply something about his driver.
What’s not well documented, however, is this thing that happened, in the summer of 1988, in the parking garage at Paramount, where we all parked our cars.
We were all working late one night, probably shooting blue screen on the bridge, so we were all wrapped at the same time (a rarity). I excitedly walked to the parking garage with Jonathan Frakes, who I was already looking up to.
So we’re walking back to our cars, and we’re talking about something, I can’t quite remember what, and I really feel like Jonathan is treating me like an equal. He’s not treating me like I’m a kid. It really makes me feel good, and I say to him, “You know, Jonathan, I can tell, just from talking to you, that when you were younger? You used to be cool.”
He laughs, and I think to myself that I’ve cemented my position with him as cool contemporary, rather than lame ass kid.
Then he says, “What do you mean, used to be?!”
I realized what I’d said, and how it didn’t match up with what was in my head, which was, “Gee, man. You are so cool now, as an adult, I bet that you were a really cool guy, who I’d like to hang out with, when you were my age.”
He knew what I meant, I could tell, and he really tortured me about that, for years. Every time I see him nowadays, he turns to a person nearby, and he says, “You know, Wheaton here told me that I used to be cool.” We laugh about it, and I make the appropriate apologies, and explanations, while Jonathan makes faces and gestures indicating that I am full of shit.
Now, when I was working on Trek, I always wanted to be:

  • As good an actor as Patrick,
  • As funny as Brent,
  • And as cool as Jonathan.

I’m still working on those things, and Jonathan just recently showed me how cool he still is.
Jonathan directed this new movie, called “Clockstoppers“. It’s a movie geared towards kids, but it seems smart enough for their parents to sit through it without dreaming up ways of eviscerating the writer responsible for robbing them of 90 minutes of their weekend, which sets it well apart from most “family” films.
Ryan and Nolan have been talking about how they can’t wait to see this movie, and I mentioned to them last week that I was friends with the director, and I had heard that it was going to be really cool, and I was pretty sure that I could get us into a screening.
So I called up Jonathan’s office, and asked if I could get some tickets to a screening, so I could take the kids, and be a hero to them. Jonathan’s assistant said that it would be no problem, and I’d hear from someone at Nickelodeon about the screening.
The next day, the phone rings, and it’s totally Jonathan himself, calling me back, telling me how happy he is that I want to take my step-kids to see his movie, and that he’s really happy to get me into the screening on Saturday.
See, the thing is, Jonathan is what we in Hollywood call A Big Deal(tm), and usually people who become A Big Deal(tm) don’t usually talk to people who aren’t also A Big Deal(tm).
But Jonathan is not only A Big Deal(tm), he’s also A Really Great Guy(tm), and he didn’t need to call me back, personally. Actually, I really didn’t expect him to.
But he did, and that proves that he is now, and always has been, cool. Despite my fumbled proclamations as a 16 year old dorkus.

Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

167 thoughts on “Still Cool”

  3. Hey Wil
    How how starting a photo gallery of your possie, we could all send photos in. I have mental pictures of what I think people look like but it would be nice to see what people do look like.
    What you think, or is it a complete lame brain idea.
    Spike
    9.50PM GMT
    22nd Feb 2002

  5. That was a true story.
    Happened last Thursday, the 14th.
    Sadly, I left my video camera in the car.
    When Television’s Wil Wheaton and I iron out the details of our new motorcoach venture, we’ll be sure to add a live action dramatic reenactment of the Pooh incident into the tour.

  10. Oh, and I just listened to the Spudnuts mp3s.
    Good GOD.
    I’m still writhing in mental ecstacy.
    Sorta.
    What the fuck was that accent in Wrath of Spudnuts, anyway? That’s almost more demented than Ricardo himself.
    You should read http://www.wigu.com and http://www.whenigrowup.com . Seriously. They pulled a similar joke as that dish of revenge gag. Only different.
    tee hee, Bakula’s Package.
    It’s so…
    wrong.

  11. 3 things:
    1. I will agree that he is way cool(tm) if I find out he runs his own website, and not just a little input to a fansite.
    2.If you don’t know Brent Spiner is hilarious, you aren’t a true ST:TNG fan. His stint on Night Court:genius. His comedy as Data:Even so.
    “I just LOVE scanning for life forms!(sing along)
    Data?Lore are just brimming with subtle humor…
    3. I absolutely REFUSE to shamelessly plug my website/products in this forum. At least until I have a hat of my own to peddle.

  13. Okay my next question is how can I post a photo of me, cos each time I try I fail misserably because I’m crap like that.
    Spike

  14. I thought of one more:
    4. I refuse to read any post in this forum that is over a paragraph long unless it’s REALLY interesting/relevant/funny, or any post that rambles on using one word per line and/or wastes space with little dots
    …
    …
    …
    …
    …
    …
    …
    …
    addition to 3. I refuse to visit shamelessly plugged websites posted in this forum. If there is a link provided on this site, then I will trust Wil that it is worth visiting.
    There, I feel better. Far cheaper than conventional therapy.

  15. Good for you, Silvain.
    Don’t let me keep you from missing tasty webcomics and amusing sound files.
    This
    …
    was
    …
    a
    …
    joke
    …
    ok, done with that

  16. You know what’s really scary? I already knew about this. It was in one of those scary trek magazines that my best friend would borrow from the Star Trek magazine library at the Trek Club we both went to. I thought it was so freakin’ funny at the time, I never thought badly of Wil for it. Then again I wanted to do all manner of inappropriate things to Wil and I was only young myself, so what the hell did I know. I hung around a lot of older folks as a kid (since I never got along well with children because I was socially stunted) and I think I’ve made the same goof a thousand times.

  17. Sylvian’s boycott of links helps save bandwidth for the rest of us… I think.
    Meh, I was just trying to shed some light on the post… ^_^;;

  18. Well, hey, if you say “this is funny/interestin” and is not a shameless website plug, I might visit it. If I find out it’s just to get more hits at your own site, I will go to great efforts to rip it apart on my own site. No, you can’t have the URL. That would be hypocritical. While I’m still here though:
    5. I refuse to use expletives when other descriptive words will do. I will not use swear words just for the sake of swearing.
    6. I will not attempt to post a picture of myself on someone else’s website unless they specifically ask for such a thing, or if it’s the theme of the site, such as HorN.
    Wil, you can blame Fark for my pessimistic barbs,
    for it was you who turned me on to that site.
    Now, I just can’t seem to break the habit of being argumentative in any given forum.

  19. ..then I read Courtney’s posts about the picture gallery at Soapbox and the scathing retort regarding bandwidth….now I feel silly.
    I really should proofread my posts AND finish reading the other posts before making comments…
    Courtney delivers a body blow! No sarcasm intended…

  20. Awww, Sylvain, we still love you. 🙂
    In my own defense, those links aren’t mine, merely online comics from a pal who is most amusing.
    I don’t even know why I’m saying anything.
    I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve listened to the Wrath of Spudnuts.
    French rap is amusing.

  21. jonathan frakes went to high school with my father’s girlfriend. apparently he was quite the heartthrob (and also a very good student),and he was “out of her league.” He was so hot in high school that my father’s girlfriend remembers him today, despite not caring an ounce about star trek.

  22. OMG – I just listened to the Wrath of Spudnuts! I almost fell off my chair at work I was laughing so hard. Good thing the boss is gone…..

  23. The “Wrath of Spudnuts” is o-kay.
    It’s not one of my favorite posts.
    It was an idea I fleshed out say… about 35%. Kind of half-assed.
    Well.
    ALL of my posts are half-assed, but some are half-assed half-assed and some are full-assed half-assed.
    Not that I have any issues with the way Rob worked it up. He squeezed as much juice as could be had from it.
    The problem was in the source material.
    Rob’s take on all three posts were dead-on.
    Flawless interpretation.

  25. don’t forget to watch the UFP four man bobsled team at the Olympics TONIGHT!
    Ooh, I’m so excited!
    God, I’m such a dork.

  26. Help! I can’t get the spudnuts mp3’s to work!!! What am I doing wrong?
    Did someone mention something about holding Jonathan Frakes? I’d like to hold Jonathan Frakes! >:) But I’m only 4’8″ and with Jonathan being SOOOOO TALL I might only come up to his, ummm…never mind…forget I mentioned it…
    Did I ever mention that my computer is in the “Trek Room”? I’m surrounded by Trek stuff. If I had my vid cam on, you’d laugh cuz it looks like an “alien” sword is hanging over my head, but it’s really hanging on the Klingon side of the room…(yes, we have the room divided by Klingon and Feddies)
    As nearly everyone else has said, that was a great post Wil. It was nice getting some insight. I always thought JF would be a cool kind of guy.
    Wil? Are you wearing your glasses????? 🙂

  31. What in the name of Bea Arthur is THIS?? I can scarcely believe my eyes! In all these months I NEVER noticed you could leave comments about Wil’s blog!! I can’t believe I have been missing out this whole time. I heard Wil mention all the “comments” and printing out “comments” but I thought he was talking about emails. Oh my gawd, where are my vapors?!?!
    Anyway, hello people of the weird, new world!
    I suppose you’ll see me in here from now on.
    -Bombay (Cristina)

  32. Lermentov, he makes no bones about it!
    And, did you never hear of the infamous “Semi-bone of Monte Cristo”?
    Next week, on Mp3
    Spudnuts, I listened…
    bwaha-haha

  33. I just clocked on the Clockstoppers link to imdb, and at the bottom of that page it says “If you like this title, we also recommend…. Simon & Simon: In Trouble Again”.
    um…..yeah.

  34. I have my doubts on the Pooh story. Now if you had said Pooh was being massacred by a troop of flying, wire fu Chinese schoolgirls, but was saved by Sonny Chiba (dressed as Snow White) and Ratnose (dressed as
    Grumpy) then, OK. I’d believe that.

  35. Great story Wil. I’m just a little younger then you, I’m 26 and I remember ‘License to Drive’ back in 1988. Damn that was a tight film. I was 12, 13 years old and that movie and the Coreys were one the coolest and most popular things of the mid and late ’80s. And skateboarding ofcourse. 🙂
    Ahh the memories….

  36. I actually worked on Clockstoppers. Yeah, ok, I worked background, but still. I was working the rave scene, right? And I’m sitting on the edge of the stage, minding my own bidness, when Jonathan Frakes comes and sits down next to me.
    Dude.
    Commander Riker touched me! His thigh touched mine when he sat next to me. We chatted for a sec. (“Hi.” “Hi.” “Having fun?” “Yep”) And then he was gone.
    I’ll tell you one thing, tho. I never thought I’d hear a grown man say PLUR and be dead serious about it. PLUR. What the fuck is that? PLUR. Peace Love Unity Respect. PLUR.
    Commander Riker is down with the PLUR. Sounds like a bad away mission.

  38. The girl in the movie is in this months Maxim magazine. makes me feel like going to the movies…

  39. Damn you Spuds my russian vhatever!
    I’d damn you with both hands.. but I had a freak door accident at work.
    Carnage.
    Fingers.
    Youch.
    Send Jim Beam.
    It’s my prefered medication for long bitter cold Ohio nights.
    well almost always…
    Also.. is my pic of you and Bun Bun not nifty?
    -K
    owwweeeeeeee

  41. I’d like to take this moment to DENY.
    Flat out deny.
    That there was ever a Corey Haim picture in my grade school lockers.
    It didn’t happen.
    Damn right implausible.
    And at this point I’ll go ahead and deny that anyone else including the owner of this site ever made it into the locker either.
    Oh and there was never a full glossy poster of Seaquest (or you know who) on my closet door when I was 14.
    Nope. Notta. Didn’t happen… had to be swamp gas and Venus’ shadow.
    Alas…
    I’d try and deny the Hugh the Borg Fiasco at my first convention…
    but…
    well it’s my friend the NBC Weatherman’s favorite story to tell.
    Damn him to hell in a wicker handbasket that tornado obsessed fiend.
    -K
    jim, jack, and jagger- a girl bassist’s best friends

  43. Is The Kitty The Spud’s alter ego?
    I think so.
    What about you?
    Who knows.
    Not me.
    I do, however, know I approve of the Bun Bun pic.
    Mmmm, homicidal lop.
    Ooo, Patrick Stewart!

  44. Hahaa.. I’m honored.
    No I’m not Spuds.
    I’m all women.
    Trying to be all bassist…
    But not Soulcracker’s bassist.
    Or at least I don’t want to be AP.
    Could replace him though..
    well monkeys could replace him..
    So I have a chance.
    don’t know why I love that band soo much…
    watch out with that show.. the mikes go to loud about 3 songs into the set and the music is too soft leaving really wretched vocals by Suttie and the Beast.
    At least we can’t hear Bob the drummer off key.
    That’s almost as bad as a Flickerstick concert.
    mhahaa… typing away the pain… well that and the burbon.
    yum.
    -K
    welcoming home the astroturf

  45. Man i was all about the funny until I read that Chuck Jones died.
    thud. sigh.
    what a huge inspiration to me as a kid, and now as an adult.
    Alittle more of the brillance of the Universe has left the building known as earth and went back to the grand cosmos.
    I’m prolly late to this party… but damn I’m bummed.
    okay last post of the night.. I promise.

  46. Just so long as you’re not every woman like Whitney Houston.
    That’d be scary.
    For one, I’ve never been stopped for pot possession in Hawaii.
    I’d hate to be in her body.
    Eeeeew.
    I’m never going to be able to hear that damn song again without thinking nasty things.
    Dammit.

  47. Stumbled upon your link on another site a couple of weeks ago, and have been randomly popping in now and again to have a look see, I must say that it’s a great read! You are certainly not what I expected you to be. Very funny, witty, and a hell of a writer. You express yourself really well! Have you done much writing for other things? Well as for the whole cool thing…….I think we can safely say that you’re pretty cool yourself! Keep bloggin!

  48. Oh man…. Chuck Jones has passed away… big hug to you MissKitty!
    As I sit here surrounded by my animation toys… my main man was always Marvin the Martian….*snif*
    Mr. Jones’ work is eternal….
    ***THE BEEJ***
    Gonna go get my Golden Age of Looney Tunes out to watch…. adios!

  49. I’ve always liked Riker the best out of all the Star Trek characters, and kinda kept up with what Jonathan Frakes was doing outside of that character. I thought it was cool when he went into directing. I plan on seeing his new movie, too. Thanks for sharing a cool story about the guy!
    I think he even has his own website. Maybe you can plug it here?
    Joe

Comments are closed.

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading