As I write this, Anne is behind me, doing some workout video tape, and I can just hear the breathless voice of the girl who is leading the workout saying, “Oh yeah, oh yeah, doesn’t that feel good? Don’t stop, you’re almost there *pant* *pant*”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was watching “Debbie Does 7 Minute Abs” or something…but anyway…
A few weeks ago, I did an interview for the 4th season DVD release of Star Trek: TNG. While I was at Paramount doing my interview, a friend of mine who writes for Star Trek: The Magazine asked me if she could talk to me about a special issue they were doing, focusing on the second season. I told her that I’d be glad to do the interview, if they’d put me on a mailing list, and send me issues of the magazine.
Hey, daddy needs to get nice things, you know?
So she said that’d be no problem, and we did the interview. It was really cool, and I won’t spoil it for you by talking about it here. It should be on the stands in a month or so.
On Friday, my first issue of the magazine showed up, and the whole thing is devoted to the first season of TNG. It focuses mostly on the behind the scenes aspects, with all these cool production drawings, interviews with the producers (Bob Justman says that “Wil Wheaton was always going to be our Wesley”), and a brief history of that first season.
Reading it really made me feel nostalgic, and I was flooded with wonderful memories from those years.
As I read it, I got to thinking…I have some unfinished business here…so, today, my dear Sunday reader, I am proud to give to you:
SPONGEBOB VEGA$ PANTS: SCREAM SPONGEBOB, SCREAM!
When we last left our intrepid hero, he had finished performing the highly anticipated “Mind Meld presents: Assimilate This!”.
With minimal rehearsal, with less than ideal performing conditions, and needing to pee for the last 30 minutes of the show, we had managed to pull it off. The crowd loved us, and would have made me cry, if I was not, as I have pointed out many times before, such a complete badass.
So, to pick things up…
The house empties out, and I run at mach 4 to the bathroom. When I get back into the ballroom, I get the most important review, of all. My wife comes up to me, puts her arms around me, and says, “Honey, you were great. I’ve never laughed so hard in my whole life.”
We stand in the ballroom for a few minutes, and I feel the familiar rush of left over adrenaline that I get at the end of every show. Even though it’s been a hellishly long day, and I’ve performed twice (once on stage with the sketch group, and once during my talk) I’ve got this massive surge of energy, and I must use it.
So we pack up the show, say goodnight to my parents, and head out into Vega$ for some drinks, some slots, some craps, and some fun. We can’t decide where we are going to go, because it’s a weekend, and most of the casinos have insanely high table minimums, and somehow we all end up at The Rio. Now, I’m not too crazy about The Rio, since they kicked out De La Guarda, which is, I think, one of the coolest and most unique shows I’ve ever seen. But we ended up there, anyway.
Travis and I were really hungry, and just wanted to get something to eat, and the rest of the gang just wanted to get a few drinks in them and throw some money away — er, I mean, gamble. So Travis and I head off to some 24 hour restaurant in the hotel (walking, of course, through the casino, then through more of the casino, and, finally, past some slot machines). The rest of the crew heads up to some club at the top of the hotel, which they later tell us is filled with poseurs, and I try to act surprised.
Travis and I talk about the show, and how it went. It’s funny when you get two actor/writers together. We did a really good show, and we were, and are, very proud of it…but we can only talk about the things that we didn’t like. We talk about the fact that I should have picked up a mic at the end of the show to say my thank yous and introduce the group. I was unhappy that I flubbed some lines, and could have had a funnier ad-lib here or there…but that’s the nature of being a perfectionist, I guess. It’s also the reason most of my shows are so good. I won’t allow myself to do anything less than my absolute best, and I am always pushing myself to be better.
So Travis and I deconstruct the show, talk about the possibility of taking it on the road, talk about how much fun we had, complain about how horrible the farking food is, and we head back to meet the rest of the gang, in the casino.
So, by now, it’s got to be close to 2AM, and that adrenaline buzz is wearing off. Remember when you were a teenager, and you’d just started hanging out all night? That first or second time you stayed up all night with your friends, watching the sun rise, thinking to yourself how cool it was that you were awake this late, never wanting the night to end? That’s how we all felt…but we’re all exhausted, and some of us have to fly home early the next morning. So we gamble a bit, I collect on a bet from Tracy Burns (she had to buy me a scotch. I forget why, now), and we say a teary farewell.
We all go our Separate Ways, seeking out our own Frontiers, filled with Lights, knowing that we’ll never Stop Believin’.
What happened there? Sorry.
Anne and I return to our we-would-never-get-this-if-we-were-paying-for-it suite at Bellagio, and fall asleep before our heads even hit the pillows.
The next morning, we get up, eat breakfast, and pack our bags. We’re going to stay the rest of the weekend, so we can attend the party at The Star Trek Experience on Sunday night, but we’re not staying at Bellagio any more. We’re moving to Monte Carlo.
I’ve decided to spend the day sitting in the Autograph room at the convention, so people who missed me the first two days can get their picture or autograph, and so I can hawk my friend’s CD. (if any of you were RFB listeners, before it went off the air, you may have heard me play them from time to time)
The thing is, it kind of sucks. I realize that I’m spending the entire day there, really to sign what amounts to less than 10 pictures, and I only convince 3 people that Warp 11 is really funny. I also know that 2 of our friends (Stephanie, who introduced me to Anne, and BURNS! who is one of our best friends) are on their way to meet us, so I decide that I’m done. I pack up, and screw up the courage to introduce myself to Alan Ruck, who played Cameron in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and was in some Trek movie, I guess. He is really cool, and as excited to meet me as I am to meet him, which always surprises me and makes me feel good.
I meet Anne, Steph, and BURNS! at the Monte Carlo, where I am discover what will be the theme for the remainder of our trip. That theme is “Who can be the most rude to Wil and his friends?”
Now, here is the thing. I am an extremely patient, understanding, forgiving person, when I am in a restaurant, or at the front desk of a hotel, or dealing with any person who works in the “service industry.” I figure that most people treat them badly, talking down to them, and stuff, and I really go out of my way to be extra nice, and patient with them. I also know that they may appreciate this, and hook a brother up with a free desert or something, so it’s not completely altruistic. Hey, at least I’m honest about it, preachy.
When we’re checking in, the girl who is checking us in is really cool. She’s sweet, friendly, helpful, and all the things you’d hope for. She tells us that we’re in some sort of suite, and I tell her that we were just at the Bellagio, and while we were staying in that suite they gave us some sort of VIP pass, for some lounge or something, and a buffet line pass.
Tangent: let me tell you, when you’re in Vega$ during a busy weekend, having that buffet or cafe line pass is GOLD. The last two times I’ve been in Vega$, which I hate, by the way, the lines for restaurants have been insane, and I would have sold my soul for a line pass. (Don’t get too excited. My picture’s been taken so many times, I don’t have any soul left)
End of Tangent.
So the girl tells me that she isn’t sure, but I can go and ask Casino Services if the suites at Monte Carlo come with the same pass as the suites at Bellagio. I cross the large lobby, and enter through some french doors to the Casino Services area. It’s a small room, with a lovingly handcrafted particle board desk, and two armed chairs. A pinched woman is sitting behind the desk, and she makes no effort to mask her obvious contempt for me as I approach her.
“Can I help you?” she sneers.
“Yeah,” I tell her, and proceed to explain the situation at Bellagio, and I ask her if Monte Carlo has a similar policy.
Although I am taller than her, and she is sitting at a desk, she somehow manages to look down her nose at me. She tells me, with complete disdain, “No, sir. Our Casino Premiums [you can hear in her voice that she capitalizes those words in her mind] are reserved for a certain caliber of guest.”
A certain caliber of guest?! Did she just say that?!
I take a second to imagine how hollow her life must be when she’s not sitting behind that desk, and I thank her for her time. Remember, I’m patient, forgiving and understanding.
I cross back to the check-in desk, and the girl asks me if the woman was able to help me. I tell her that she was not able to help me, and, in fact, insulted me. I tell her that when that woman told me that they “are reserved for a certain caliber of guest”, what she clearly communicated to me was that I was not of a certain caliber, and therefore not worthy of her time.
I was upset. Not because I didn’t get that magic card, I mean, that’s their policy, so that’s fine with me. I don’t expect preferential treatment, ever (well, unless I’m at Jumbo’s Clown Room, but that’s more like frequent flier miles, if you get my drift). What upset me was the way she talked to me. The way she treated me as if I was beneath her from the moment I walked in.
A manager has heard me relaying my story to the check-in girl, and she has joined the conversation. She apologizes many times, and asks me to wait a minute. She crosses to the Casino Services room, and I see her have a heated exchange with the woman behind the desk of power. She then returns, and gives me, Anne, Steph and BURNS! these cool VIP passes, which are good for lines, shows, and get us into some sort of lounge on an upper floor of the hotel. She apologizes many times, and implores us to enjoy our stay. I am impressed with her kindness, and for a brief second I bask in the customer service.
We head up to our room, Steph and BURNS! head off to meet one of our other friends, Jen, and Anne and I unpack, and take a nap.
Isn’t the weird? We take lots of naps in Vega$. I think it’s because we really like to stay out all night, or as close to all night, as we can. I think that staying out all night is part of the mystique of Vega$.
I wanna digress for a minute, and talk about the mystique of Vega$. See, I think that we all want to buy into the “romance” of Vega$. That thing that the city has, as portrayed in “Viva Las Vegas!” and “Swingers” and anything concerning the Rat Pack. We want to believe that it is the land of all-you-can-eat $2.00 buffets, where we are always one pull of the slot machine away from the Rainman suite. But the truth is, Vega$ is a sad, hollow, tragic monument to greed and excess, where parents dump their kids at the edge of the casino with some fast food while they get drunk and gamble. It’s a place where you’ll find more unemployed locals than tourists at a five dollar buffet, and it’s more like “Taxicab Confessions” than anything else. I can only take it for 48 hours at a time…and this time, I was there for 5 freakin’ days. However, it does have Nomi Malone, and Nomi’s got heat, so it’s not all bad.
So we take our nap, and we get ready for our big night out. We’ve got reservations at this restaurant that is supposed to be really cool, and I’ve even put on a clean shirt to go out.
NEXT TIME:
Dinner at Chez Midlife Crisis!
The Roulette that ate my wallet!
And
The Star Trek Experience
When WWDN presents, Spongebob Vega$Pants: The Final Chapter!
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
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heh…don’t worry Wil…I’ve worked in casinos…that attitude is usually with the hosts/hostesses….the folks that have to earn tips for a living know better then to condescend to the guests…can’t pay bills that way…
speaking of tips…off to work…late…
I never had a teacher who was a major influence in my life. I had a couple of real jerks. But, at least they I learned something from them. Other than be nice to everyone. They really do deserve earn to make alot of money.
I loved that story!! 😮 ) And, realizing it’s not over (yet), I must peruse through the archives of this site to find out more. As in the beginning and the middle…
I had a grin on the old face about the “wonderful” customer service lady…lol…the words “pinched” and “particle board” just really jumped out at me, for some strange reason. Very well told, Wil…thanks! 😮 )
So, that’s what everyone else, who have been at this site since it’s inception, have been asking for…cool.
Looking forward to more,
It seems I can’t make any sense today. I think I’ll just shut up.
Did anyone here make it up to the show this past Friday? How was it? How hard was it to get tickets last minute? I wanted to make it but realized I was too damn tired to drive up from O.C. to make it to a show that might have been sold out.
(A-ha…the power of calling ahead, hey?)
Alexa:
You’d be surprised how many other teachers have second jobs to help pay their bills. Usually because they have families. My dad had to work as a phlebotomist at our local hospital to help pay the bills. I don’t think he realized how low his salary would be, over the years. Which means I must be really stupid for knowing it and still planning to become a high school teacher. Still, I’ll probably have more fun than most people. I mean, how many jobs can you retire from knowing that what you did mattered, that you made a difference in people’s lives?
To keep things entirely in perspective re: teachers, keep in mind that although the pay is usually only 30-50k a year (50k only with a lot of seniority) for a teacher who only has a bachelor’s degree, that is paid for 9 months of work (unless the teacher *chooses* to teach summer school) and is physically teaching for about 6 hours a day (yes, I’m including prep hours and grading). Additionally, most school districts have an insanely good health/dental/etc. plan for the teachers, which (given the high cost of any sort of insurance nowadays) does a lot to help balance things out.
Then again, this isn’t a political thread…. So I’ll stfu… 😉
With a master’s or a PhD, it’s not unusual for a teacher to be making between 50 and 70k, not including the
People with Master’s or PH.D.’s aren’t usually teaching in elementary/high school… and 6 hours a day MIGHT be the hours a teacher spends in front of students teaching, but it DOES NOT include hours spent grading, correcting, making tests, developing lesson plans (they don’t just make up classes off the cuff you know), and totaling up grades for report cards. And it’s actually more like 10 months. Teachers spend an extra approx 2 weeks after the school year finishing up their grading, ordering textbooks, cleaning their classrooms; and then they start preparing for the new school year about approx 2 weeks before school actually starts. None of this is hearsay, like I said, my dad’s a teacher, I KNOW all of this is fact.
And I don’t mean to imply that you don’t know what you’re talking about JSc, its just that people use those arguments to say that teachers should make less money, and that just tends to frost me. If you pay less money, do you think you’re going to attract the most qualified, intelligent, hard-working, or dedicated teachers?
Just a thought…
Don’t you hate when you intend to cut a post short, but forget to delete all the stuff at the end?
S’ok, we still luv ya
Must… resist… urge… to… argue…….
Lost Wages rules. Pay my income tax. 😀
I like it here, actually. Except for the drivers. And the cabbies. And the commercialism. And the congested strip. And trying to cross that strip on a Friday night. And the buffets. Last place I was near the strip was the star trek experience (for the 203948203480329 time). But that’s because I know people that work there. 🙂
Reno Mike: I’m from Gardnerville originally. I’m sure by now I’ve been totally and completely brainwashed and forgotten that there’s another side of the state…hahah…no wonder mom gets mad because I forget to call.
Wil: Nice site…stumbled by it via fark.com.
Wow..i’ll quit…too much to comment on. I’m on the path to an epic diatribe.
Will, you should have pulled a full-tilt, off-the-hook, prima-donna “Don’t you know who I AM???!!!” type scene on the gal who said the “certain caliber of guest” stuff…dude, you gotta learn to work that Star Trek angle.
Hell, god forbid I was ever on Star Trek – I’d be all: “My Big Mac…has pickles..PICKLES! I specifically said NO PICKLES, don’t you know who I AM???? I am goddamn Wesley CRUSHER and if you don’t get this pickle off my sandwich NOW you’re going to have about a million guys dressed in Klingon suits, along with a half a million weblog readers tearing this BK apart, baby – pronto! Okay…so maybe I wouldn’t, gotta admit, though, it’d make a great scene in a Wil Wheaton documentary 🙂
Wil and everyone else, Not sure if you know this already but I just did a search on google for Star Trek Geek and the first result for WWDN! lol.
~slugfro
Jumping in late in THIS discussion. I would want
to think that we all have had a teacher that did
influence us in one way or the other..(mine was not English)HA!..and that is really the point is it not? To make a difference…and NO they do NOT
get paid fairly in ANY state in the U.S.. A very
sad state of affairs.
can’t wait for the conclusion of SpongeBob Vega$ pants. yeah ok i’ll avoid saying something lame and just say see ya
~pyro
Slugfro, LOL. Funniest thing I heard all day.
I wonder what happened to the other comments.
There was some really nice ones there.
Did anyone watch The Screen Actors Guild Awards last night on TNT? Stand by me was mentioned for the best young actors of all time. Stand by me’s on now on the Cinemax channel.
There was some other post’s for today but I kinda
think Wil pulled them so we would THINK instead of
babbling on like I am now.
I think it’s going to take s’more alcohol to keep me from joining the “non-political” thread….
Hey kids, I saw that River’s biography is on tomorrow. I remember reading that Mr Wheaton was going to have something to do with that. Is the biography that he’s in??? 😀
Great story Wil. Can’t wait to hear the end!
Hey Wil,
uh sir, let’s be real you know I think the reason why you napped so much other then for the night life is because the heat alone would wipe you out right? Hell I would sleep during the hot points and get up intime for the fun hours-
However I have to comment about people who look down upon others-
-For one they suck!
2nd- Karma does kick you in the ass
3rd- it’s never fun being on the recieving end…
4th – If I have to be on the sending end,, i make sure to get my point across of why I am rude back but I have never done that in a customer service type of thing, the custromer is always right, and if he’s happy he comes back for more
*Cha- Ching$$$$****
Someday I hope to get to Vegas- I wanna see the Star Trek expereince.
OMG- I almost forgot!!
my Star Trek experince the closest I ever got to was on a flight home to El Paso From Cali. one year they were actually having a con here and I met on the flight the stopped in Arizonia was John DeLance- he was really cool with me and gave me his autograph 3 times so I could give copies to my sister and Dad. However my stupid Ex- was jelouse and he threw it away! 🙁
I could tell he was so tired and just wanted to rest so I tried not to bug him to the flight was alomost over- what can I say – I am curtious- 🙂
I don’t know about you guys but I think it’s time we get to see what Wil’s wife looks like.
Guy; Wil has posted pictures of his lovely wife on this site before. But right now no pictures. Can’t wait until the gallery comes back!
I was getting down to the bottom of the comments thinking I was gonna be the only one to get the sly Showgirls reference.
clickie
alright now – what’s the secret to a link? damn I was just trying to make you smile.
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=21986490
what happening to comments???
that sucks. a lot. why do some assholes have to ruin things for the rest of us?
Yeah,
Turning off comments, no farkin’ fair man. Assholes begone already……..
wil doesn’t believe in free speech anymore 🙁
Just relax guys, he said they are only off ’till the new version of MT comes out.
I think he made a good decision turning them off. It lets everyone know who’s site this is and what kind of behavior he expects on it. Wil puts all the work into this thing, we just show up and read it.
Good point, Nurple. It’s Wil’s site; he does what he wants. End of story.
I sure do enjoy seeing what he has to say. I usually don’t even read the comments anyway.
what is WT anyway?
Isn’t this OUR site? 🙂
Hops:
In the sense that its OUR community here because we’re all a part of it, yes.
In the sense that we maintain the site and pay for its up-keep and so-forth, no. Uncle Willy does that all himself.
hops… you bug.
Although you of course have the right to say anything you want, there is nothing that says Mr. Wheaton (SIR!) either has to listen to it, or allow you to say it here.
(That of course is the “you” in the greater sense, and I’m not attempting to single anyone out here….)
This is wils realm, here he is omnipotent, if he tells you to wipe your ass, you better well do it or he will shut this bitch down
pavegirl I’m trying to get some conversation going. I wasn’t trying to bug anyone.
🙁
The last time I was in Vega$ was for a meeting. I flew in, stayed at the Polo Club (executive timeshare) and went to my meeting the next day. Pretty boring stuff. I flew out that afternoon. During the cab ride back to the airport the driver asked me why I was in town. I couldn’t manage to convince him that it was only for a meeting and not other stuff.
Maybe you were on taxi cab confessions?
Nomi is gone Wil. She’s gone. Never to return.
Please Nomi, I beg of you. DON’T RETURN.
i’ve been to vegas twice for a fast 3 day weekend… both were for weddings… and both stays were completely fast paced and awesome. i’m not a gambler by trade, so giving myself a budget of $40 to gamble seemed perfect. went and saw the foos one time and o…. what beats that? i loooove, love, love vegas. what’s wrong w/the rest of you?
last time i went to vegas.. the britney spears concert was happening.. tons of teeny boppers around..
our cab driver tried to convince me that the cabbies were run by the mafia. He wanted to bring us to hookers and we were like uh no thanks.
anyone count cards playing blackjack? its the only way to go.. the last two times i have gone ive won 400$.. thats with 5 bux as my minimum and with 40$ being my maximum when the count is good.
I LOVE VEGAS WHO WANTS TO GO
Wil could we have some data as to WHEN the new
“posty thingy” will be availiable? PLEASE. I am
sure you know some of us are in WITHDRAWAL here!
The soapbox is OK but not as good in my humble
opinion..grumble grumble.
I’ll have to agree with Bluecat, this can become on some level a source of daily outlet. I enjoy the ‘conversations’ over the various topics. I hope that there’s a new “posty thingy” coming soon!
Cam
Figures,I go away for a week and everything goes to hell in hand basket. I hope that comments are back up soon.
I have this voodoo doll I brought back from New Orleans that I can use on the people who caused this mess if anyone wants me to. On the plus side it did mean hours less of reading in order to catch up here.
How does one explain WWWDN withdrawl to one’s spousal unit?
Seven things for today.
1. WWDN is still here even though comments are not
2. Chocolate.
3. Vacations.
4. My godson Xander.
5. Being back home.
6. My loving husband.
7. Cats.
that was really bad