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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Fark Strikes Back

Posted on 15 May, 2002 By Wil

Well, I just found out that FHM named me one of their sexiest cover girls.
Not too bad, considering that I haven’t worked out in over a year, wouldn’t you say?
FARK is totally responsible for making this happen. You can read about it here.
Seriously, I love it that I can be part of something so silly and fun, without having to wear a bear suit and sing patriotic songs.
The family and I successfully found our first geocache yesterday, which I will write about at length later today.

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  1. Toonces says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:30 am

    Yay!!! You’re back!!! Well, I knew you were back the other day, but I’ve missed ya. Those FHM pics are priceless… I wonder how much an autographed copy of *those* would go for on Ebay? ;P 🙂
    Welcome back, Head Monkey!

  2. cookiegirl says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:30 am

    Yes and you’re still lovely.
    And now, you’re legal!!

  3. wil says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:33 am

    You know, I honestly never understood why so many people thought I was gay.
    Then I saw these pictures, and it suddenly makes sense.
    FWIW, those pictures are all from when I was about 15. I think one of them may be from Toy Soldiers, when I was about 18.
    Sad thing is, I still have the hairless, hollow chest…not so much the mostly-flat stomach. Damn you, Guiness!
    FHM fucking ROCKS that they did this. I mean, this never would have happened without FARK and the FARKers.
    Behold, the power of FARK.

  4. Nancy says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:38 am

    Congrats, Wil! I must have missed that episode of ST:TNG. 😉

  5. Janis Cortese says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:43 am

    Honey, men always peg young guys that women dig as gay. They just do. There is this weird and deeply contradictory notion that a guy must be gay if he appeals to women and doesn’t want to spend time with his male buddies. The depths of irony in this belief are beyond the ability of modern science to plumb …

  6. Nyarl says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:44 am

    Damn, I wet myself looking at some of those! And I’m at work. I blamed the stain on the water fountain. I don’t know if the boss believes me. Now, I need to find stitches for my gut.

  7. EofS says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:46 am

    *Giggles* I was waiting for this to turn up (I followed the link from Fark hours ago ;0)
    Did anyone else click the ‘larger picture’ thingy every time, just in case :0D
    Hmm, might steal Toy Soldiers back from my brother and watch it tonight, see if I can track down any of those. I can think of at least one occasion when Wil isnt’ wearing his ‘Burgler Bill’ t-shirt or that funky blue one (I want that t-shirt :0)

  8. Toonces says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:49 am

    I guess we now know the answer to the question, “Boxers or briefs?” 🙂

  9. underdog says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:02 pm

    The FHM thing was too funny. Congrats Wil on being one of the sexiest cover girls.

  10. MrHate says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:02 pm

    Holy Hard-On Batman. That was awesome. Tell the truth Wil; you played that whole people thinking you were gay thing to your full trim-getting advantage eh? You know when your in your late teens and early twenties chicks trust guys that they think are gay. I’d love to know how many notches you’ve got on your bedpost after ‘full disclosure of the sexual truth was made’. *LOL*

  11. wil says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:02 pm

    “Burglar Bill”
    LMAO.

  12. Delphine says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:09 pm

    That is scary.
    It’s great that you’re amused and flattered by it. It could boost your popularity. 🙂
    Fark is fun. FHM/FHMUS- both the website and the magazine- isn’t terribly torturous to look at either.
    (looking at that site from work makes me feel like I’m doing something baaaad. Yummy chicks + Wil = an unproductive me.)

  13. mygrljes says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:18 pm

    That was just TFF!!
    Thanks for sharing!

  14. EofS says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:20 pm

    ‘”Burglar Bill”
    LMAO.’
    It’s true!!! Especially when spelt right!! *Trouts self* That t-shirt you wear fairly near the start (when you go down to share out the ‘mouthwash’ iirc – it’s a while since I’ve seen it) is SO Burglar Bill.
    That’s a nice picture of Wil Wheaton, I think I’ll ‘ave that!

  15. Potch says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:24 pm

    I discovered this yesterday when I went searching after checking our FARK’s Jennifer Love Hewitt pics on FHM… I was gonna write, but I thought you knew about this already…
    I recognized the quotes they listed from WWDN… I thought it was from a while ago, not new!
    It is great that you are cool about this. Most guys I know would have gone postal about this. Ehh, simple neanderthals… You treat it as what it is, a joke. Very cool on your part.

  16. RavenBlue says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:24 pm

    That was one of the first things I looked at this morning. Absolutely hilarious..!

  17. tj says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:43 pm

    hee hee, that’s funny.
    wil, i was reading your “wish list” … time to scratch a couple things off: talk soup is being cancelled and so is PI. wasn’t sure if you knew.

  18. Ben says:
    15 May, 2002 at 12:59 pm

    Heh that so rocks!
    Then again, it is kind of unsettling to read the list of ‘sexiest cover girls’ and all of a sudden ‘wil wheaton’ .. for one second I had this real weird brainwarp that I won’t go into (but it’s obvious for those with halfway sick minds :P).
    (first post here too – yay.. now hand over all your Guinness so I may get pleasantly buzzed and make more sense)

  19. jadis says:
    15 May, 2002 at 1:17 pm

    be proud.. just glad that fark is blocked at my school otherwise the kids might have gotten an eyefull of wil!

  20. SpaceCadet says:
    15 May, 2002 at 1:22 pm

    I noticed an earing in Wil’s left ear on one of these… Never knew Wil was pierced.
    Also, any chance these pictures would be up for grabs on ebay (with a dedication “Dear Bubba, I loved being your bitch.”) …?

  21. angry penguin says:
    15 May, 2002 at 1:32 pm

    Fark, gotta love em.

  22. Boepeep says:
    15 May, 2002 at 1:33 pm

    Willy thats HISTERICAL! but you did they ask if you were gay?

  23. NephraTari says:
    15 May, 2002 at 2:07 pm

    Ok, your first comment made me laugh more than the original post! There is nothing wrong with a hairless chest, honestly hairy guys are OUT!
    Oh, and don’t blame the flat tommy all on guiness, it happens with age. 😉 :p
    I’m a brat I know.

  24. Atreyah says:
    15 May, 2002 at 2:07 pm

    But dude, you ARE sexy…. Holy crap, I can’t believe I said that. Worse, it’s actually true…oy vey. 😀

  25. Dani says:
    15 May, 2002 at 2:24 pm

    WWDN has rubber duckies??? Cool! How do I get one?

  26. ked says:
    15 May, 2002 at 3:10 pm

    wil, did you really write a comment to yourself?

  27. Stargazer says:
    15 May, 2002 at 4:08 pm

    Wil Wil Wil.
    The sad thing is that I saw it this morning and didn’t even think anything was out of place.
    I need more sleep. Of course you shouldn’t be with a group of super models. Wait that’s not what I meant. I mean you shouldn’t be with half naked women. No No No!!! What I mean is…Oh hell what do I mean? You are too cool Wil. I’m glad that stuff amuses you.
    “Why are you looking at a picture of me without my shirt on?”
    TFF!!!

  28. Mark says:
    15 May, 2002 at 4:17 pm

    Wil,
    Hmmm… the first thing I got when I jumped to this link was a pop up on #%&

  29. Keith in Montana says:
    15 May, 2002 at 4:34 pm

    Don’t blame me! I voted for Roxann Dawson!
    +++++++++++++

  30. John McGregor says:
    15 May, 2002 at 4:53 pm

    Since a pint of Guinness has less calories (198) than a pint of skim milk, I suspect that Mrs.Wheaton and / or Mrs.Wheaton sr. have more to do with the onset of middle age spread than anything else. And I know you claim to do most of the cooking on your George Foreman Grill ™, but if that were true,I’d expect to be at least the size of the inventor by now!
    John McGregor

  31. John says:
    15 May, 2002 at 4:57 pm

    geocaching! I really thought this was hunting for rocks, you know geo’s, the roung rocks that you crack in half and they are cool inside. I never knew that people cached nice things for others to find and trade. How surprising!
    P.S. Nice pictures, fark is funny.

  32. KJB says:
    15 May, 2002 at 5:18 pm

    Those are some sexy shots of you, Uncle Willy.
    You may be the butt of everyone’s jokes but goddammit, it’s so much fun. Rawk.

  33. jodilyn says:
    15 May, 2002 at 5:56 pm

    Oh man that is great!!

  34. synchronicity says:
    15 May, 2002 at 6:31 pm

    What’s that about catching rocks? Now that’s just dumb. Someone could get hurt.

  35. RedwoodRed says:
    15 May, 2002 at 6:49 pm

    Welcome to Geocaching, Wil! It is great to know that one of my favorite ST:TNG stars is into a hobby that I find totally absorbing.
    Be careful, though. It is addictive. Pretty soon you’ll be digging through your junk drawers for cache-trinkets and shopping at the Dollar Store!
    I hope that in your travels you decide to do some geocaching in the REAL Northen California. Hunt for treasure in the Redwoods!
    You should have bought a Magellan, though…
    Cache On Wil!

  36. Gary says:
    15 May, 2002 at 7:10 pm

    I agree with Dani…
    Rubber duckies? Where do I get one? Holy cripes Unca Willy you’re holding out on us!!

  37. admiraljustin says:
    15 May, 2002 at 7:26 pm

    Geez, I only voted for you about 8000 times…. It is just right that FHM does this…

  38. scraping fetus says:
    15 May, 2002 at 8:31 pm

    Glad you had a sense of humor about this, I was afraid you might start to cry again.
    Why WAS LeVar Burton always wearing that red scarf in reading rainbow?

  39. Andie-Gypsy_girl says:
    15 May, 2002 at 9:15 pm

    Dude- i always thought you were hot, now that your married and off limits (of course so am I) the gut comes with age for men as sagging bottoms are for women.and other things-

  40. Draxenn says:
    15 May, 2002 at 11:18 pm

    I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.
    smashing good wil.

  41. Fred Fowler says:
    16 May, 2002 at 12:13 am

    Nice beefcake photos. But you’re no Rowan Atkinson.

  42. Dude says:
    16 May, 2002 at 12:15 am

    Okay, the gauntlet has been thrown down. I live in Seattle and so am unable to participate, but I will be checking http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.asp?ID=11843 to see which wwdn reader gets there first and picks up some of the cool stuff Wil left.
    Dude

  43. wade says:
    16 May, 2002 at 12:36 am

    Wil,
    remember the big hulky guy “#1” turned wesley into? when Riker became “Q”….what happened?!
    now that guy was gay…(just kidding)
    I think it was the first episode with #1 having a beard…
    I’m looking into the gps megelan gold or platnium.. with computer program and map…

  44. Nickdeal says:
    16 May, 2002 at 1:24 am

    Well, the opportunity came my way. I was off work, I have a GPS the cache was 5 mins away… So off I went.
    Took the duckee and gave it to a friend.. she was soooo chuffed. Finding the box is exciting. Left some other stuff too.
    I’m actually new to the site (duck owner introduced me). Always been a fan of yours Wil.
    Thanks for the Ducky. Nearly crowned myself coming down the hill.. but it was all great fun!!! Highly Recommended

  45. Butterknees says:
    16 May, 2002 at 2:25 am

    I’m disappointed in it. You’d think that FHM could come up with some of you with pink hair and Hawaiian shirts from “Python”. Now THAT is the definition of sexy.

  46. Nyarl says:
    16 May, 2002 at 6:05 am

    DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT WIL IS GAY!!
    From Webster’s.
    gay: 1)joyous and lively; merry
    2)bright; brilliant
    3)[slang] homosexual
    Wil fits 66.7% of the above definition. Therefore, Wil is gay!
    Go Wil Go!

  47. Anneke says:
    16 May, 2002 at 6:38 am

    I was just disappointed that I couldn’t tell what movie those shots were from… how odd!

  48. Justin says:
    16 May, 2002 at 7:58 am

    You inspired a Photoshop fark as well.
    http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=183128
    Scroll to the bottom. Look for the big red one.

  49. Internal Audience says:
    16 May, 2002 at 8:33 am

    HAHAHA! The link following that fourth picture almost made me wet myself. And the answer to the question Uncle Willy, is to peruse the sunken chest! Call it cyber-geeko-caching!

  50. Spudnuts says:
    16 May, 2002 at 9:15 am

    The Internet seems a little slower today as it strains to contain the sexiness of those photos.

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