Grey Matter

Yesterday my little brother got married, and I was the best man in the ceremony.
It was wonderful.
I’m going to keep the details private, because sharing with the entire internet the particulars of a very special family event is just weird.
However, I will say: I have always felt that weddings should reflect the personalities of the bride and groom. Weddings shouldn’t be about forcing the couple into anyone’s particular mold or any one person’s *cough*grandma*cough*’s idea of what a wedding should be. I just hate it that people feel like they must conform to certain ideals, and I was thrilled that Jeremy and Jenn did their wedding their way. It was very unconventional, fun, touching, and memorable.
One really cool thing they did was to welcome to the ceremony people who couldn’t be there, whether they were living or dead, by ringing a bell. Jeremy rang the bell, and welcomed, among other people, my Aunt Val. It breaks my heart that Aunt Val didn’t get to be there in person to see Jeremy and Jenn get married; she always called him “my little boy,” and I know that they each kept large areas of their hearts reserved for each other. I was really glad that she was able to attend in spirit, and I thought that the ringing of the bell was beautiful.
The next time we have an important family gathering, I’m going to ring a bell, and invite Aunt Val to join us.
At the reception I saw lots of people who I don’t see very often, and many of them told me that they’ve been reading my website…which immediately made me feel weird. It’s easier to write what’s on my mind when I don’t think about the people reading it, especially people I know. When I wrote the story about 4th of July recently, my dad told me that he sent it to everyone in the family who was there, and how they remembered it and all that…it’s just strange. Even writing this paragraph now I have had to resist the urge to delete it.
Strange.
Well, tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 30. Then Wednesday is Ryan’s birthday. He turns 13. Holy. Crap.
I have already gotten some AMAZINGLY COOL Birthday presents, but they get their own entry in a few days.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Now go outside!

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84 thoughts on “Grey Matter”

  1. happy birthday, wil! and congrats and the best wishes for the future for your little bro and the misses. and surprisingly enough… i did go outside today.

  3. Well, it’s 12:33am Monday morning here, which means on the East coast at least, it is officially your birthday. Wow, what a week you’ve had! Surprise b-day party, surprise gifts, your brother’s wedding, can it get any better????
    Yes. It can. Stay young in your heart and you’ll never notice the years passing by. Of course you’ll notice Ryan’s getting older ’cause he’ll be able to wup you at any sport you challenge him in. :-). But, there’s always Advil and Icy Hot.
    Heh.
    Ahud.

  4. OMG i love that Joy of Tech comic!!!!!!!!!!!
    Wil, you look great in a Sandman costume!

  5. Happy Birthday, Wil. I remember my 30th. My family decorated with black balloons. Six years later, I discovered that I saved a few and they were kind of wilted, but they were still there.
    Great idea that Jeremy and Jenn had about ringing a bell. I’m sure that made your Aunt Val very happy. I hope that they don’t mind if someone uses their idea. I’d like to ring a bell for my dad and brothers, especially.

  6. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIL!!! ok ha ha im early, but hey…i wanted to say that for months..now thats strange. i hope you have a VERY happy birthday! YEAH! THE BIG 3-0 🙂

  7. Happy Birthday Wil! Maybe I’m the first to actually wish you a HB on your HB!
    Hey, I thought you were great in STNG. Thanks for all the great years. I also watch you on Arena. You have serious talent and I enjoy your sense of humor. Keep up the awesome work and hope to see you online!
    EnStyle

  8. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIL!
    I still have 9 months to go before I get to 30 and I can’t wait!!! take it all in….
    SAMMY
    xx

  10. Right now, where you are, you’re still 29.
    But here and now, on the East Coast, you’d be 30 already… You old fart… =o)
    Happy Birthday, Wil!
    Welcome to the Over-The-Hill Gang…

  11. Happy Birthday Wil.
    Remember, you’re not getting older, your getting better. Or so I’m told.

  12. Happy Birthday Wil! I will be joining the ranks of the 30 somethings in 13 days. My own 30th Birthday is August 11th. So from one Leo to another here’s hoping that the next decade is GREAT! May success and happiness be one and the same.

  13. Hey Wil. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday from myself and my girlfriend Megan, who both read your web log often, and think your cool.

  14. wil…
    congrats to your brother..
    his wedding sounds like the the episode were
    ms troy was getting married.. 1/2 the guests
    dressed, the other 1/2 nude…
    my aunt whore a red dress to hers..
    (boy did people talk)
    but red was the origial dress most women
    got married in in the “old days”
    before Queen Victoria. she’s the one who
    started the “must were white dress look”
    later wil…

  15. Hey, I can’t help but wonder: was Aunt Val the same Aunt who told you that being born around 12:30 was a good thing, and that escaped your pyrotechnics on the 4th? Sounds like you have a cool family, dude.
    Tell grandma she can get married any way she wants too. Tel her I said so.
    Later.

  16. Happy birthdays to you and Ryan. And congrats to your brother and his bride.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts about what weddings should be – I’m going to make sure my SO reads that, as she is in full wedding-planning mode right now.
    The part about ringing the bell really got to me. That is such an incredible idea. When I was a boy, we lived in an old farmhouse that was eventually surrounded by city. In the backyard was a steel post, and on that post was a bell. I remember my father would ring that bell on all the major holidays: Christmas, New Year’s, Independence Day. He passed away when I was seven, and we moved out of that house shortly after that. The bell stayed. I have always wondered whatever happened to that bell. Is it still in the backyard, ringing out on special occasions?
    I can think of no better tribute to the loved ones who cannot be there than to ring a bell in their name.

  18. Happy Birthday Dude!
    34 here. It’s a strange age. There used to be an easy distinction between girls/women. Now I may meet a smart, beautiful woman, but she can actually be too young for me. Very strange indeed. Of course some guys don’t concern themselves with such things. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about that, eh? Lucky bastard.
    Enjoy!

  19. I hadn’t been here in a about a week, so I thought I’d come back to see what’s been going on, (Been doing my book)We’ll I won’t go with the flock on this one saying happy birthday to you again, (Since I already did in another post) But congrats to the brother! May they live long and prosper..tee hee (Oh man did I spell that one right? oh well the jokes still funny! at least to me it was, but hey I find humor in toilet products! JK) Sorry to hear about your aunt, I know the feeling and I can agree with what you wrote on the matter that’s for sure. I bet she was a doll, she sure sounded like she was.
    Okay, Like I said I haven’t been here for a while, who’s Ryan? Is that your step son? If it is don’t sweat it, I have an 18 year old that just joined the navy…the NAVY, mind you…she’s 18…man I feel old, hey at least I don’t look it, thank god for small favors. I also have a 16 year old son that stands a whooping 6’1″..man oh man, and then my mutt,(Her nick name) she’s my baby and she’s 11. See they grow up way to fast to keep up…Don’t blink Wil, he’ll be driving if you do…They grow up that fast…(we’ll maybe not that fast, but you get the point.) Anyway I’ve got some critter buzzing around my head and it’s driving me nutts. I keep swatting but the little shit keeps dodging out of the way…why is that?? can you explain this to me? why do they buzz around your head? Is it some kind of mental thing, You know you think ‘don’t buzz me man’, and they come right at you??? Oh sorry my bad My train of thought just de-railed, chuckle. Well gotta bolt…Later Wil
    Give the wife and kids a big hug for me! Tell them there great and that I’ll see them next week…LOL
    Ok bye now, Chill I was just kidding, They’ed have to come way over here to Germany if they wanted to see me.
    Okay okay I’m really going now…GOT THAT CRITTER! serves him right for sucking on me…Just to quick for him…>>>>victory Dance

  20. It sounds to me as though you’ve got everything going your way! Happy Birthdays and congrats to all! (:

  21. holy crap.
    I’m a day late on the birthday wishes. I want whoever did those soapbox awards to reconsider me for “the last one to comment to anything”.
    Happy Birthday!!

  25. First, Happy (belated) Birthday!
    You are an incredibly likable guy. I really enjoyed reading about your brother’s wedding and this site in general is great!

  26. Wil, if I were a really ugly gay horse, and you were a really hot gay horse, and you wanted to hump me, I’d probably let you. But dude, you’re no gay horse and we ain’t in no pasture, so don’t get any ideas, pal!
    *NE-EE-II-IGHHH*
    (Sorry for the off-topic post)

  27. Wil first let me say happy birthday! I recently stumbled across your website by accident. You dont need to know how it wasn’t pretty. Anyway I have been a fan of yours for along time and it was great to finally find out what you’ve been doing. AS to thoughts on getting older, I think as we age we tend to appreciate life a little more especially the little things like sunsets, and dewdrops. We realize that it is the little things that make life special. Now on to loss I know how it feel to lose someone your very very close to. I lost my husband to colon cancer on December 19, 1998. He was 34. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. To watch him die a little bit everyday. Somehow God gave me the strength to get through it and he will do the same for you and your family. My birthday wish for you is to be happy and have all that you ever dreamed of . Again best wishes for your birthday. Donna

  28. Hi Wil (I’ve been thinking about dropping my 2nd “L”, too)! I just want to say that I’ve been a true fan since you were just an ensign. All my freinds said that you were a bad actor and didn’t deserve to get as much attention on the show as you did, but I stuck behind you through thick and thin. I hope you get some work really soon.
    I want to wish you a happy belated birthday. I wish I could have been there. Gosh, I can’t believe you’re 30! I always thought you were younger than me! You must have that Ralph Macchio sexy youthfulness gene. (I’m an eensy bit under 29, if you MUST know).
    I would really appreciate a personal note from you, since I’m your “biggest fan” (in more ways than one… but I’ll tell you about that later). Would you write to me at [email protected]? It would mean the world to me.
    Yours faithfully,
    Will Tisdale

  29. happy belated birthday! i just turned 29. are you feeling that…”oh my god, i’m 30″ vibe? my friends keep asking me if i’m gonna go through some kind of 30 year old depression next year. *shrugs* it’s just a number. however, when you say that you’re three decades old, somehow that just sounds worse. lol i really hope you had a fantastic time with your family. ^_^

  30. wil,
    i just started reading your website today and it’s now bookmarked.
    first, happy birthday to you and your son.
    30! that’s so cool.
    second, when i read about your brother ringing a bell to welcome the people who couldn’t attend his wedding, i got goosebumps and almost started to get teary.
    what a beautiful symbolic ritual.
    anyway, i’ve taken up enough time here.
    your website rawks and rules.
    take care!

  32. Wil,
    A belated happy birthday, and to Ryan, too. I found when I made 30 (lo, those many years ago) that I could quit thinking I was a @!#%^ teeny-bopper . . . Welcome to adulthood, brother. Writing that’s wierd, since I just watched a rerun of the acting ensign getting warm for that cute shape-shifter on the big ship.
    BTW, did the crystal turn red yet?
    Happy Tuesday,
    Chuck

  34. What can I say that everyone hasnt said already. You were hot to watch when I was growing up and u are still hot. Keep up the good work.

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