The call came while I was out, so I didn’t get the message until days later.
“Hi,” the young-sounding secretary said on my machine, “I have Rick Berman calling for Wil. Please return when you get the message.”
I knew.
I knew before she was even done with the message, but I tried to fool myself for a few minutes anyway.
I looked at the clock: 8 PM. They’d most likely be out, so I’d have to call tomorrow.
I told Anne that I had a message to call Rick’s office, and she knew right away also.
We’d thought about it for months, ever since I’d heard the rumors online. Of course, I tend to not put a whole lot of stock in what I read online…if I did I’d be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of hot teen bitches who want to get naked for me right now, and I’d be rolling in Nigerian money.
But it made sense, and I couldn’t fight what I knew in my heart to be true.
I returned the call late the next day from my car on my way home from work. I was driving along a narrow tree-lined street in Pasadena that I sometimes take when the traffic is heavy on the freeway.
Children played on bikes and jumped rope in the growing shadows of the July afternoon. The street was stained a beautiful orange by the setting sun.
“This is Wil Wheaton returning,” I told her.
She tells me to hold on, and then he’s on the phone.
“Hi kiddo. How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. You know I turn 30 on Monday?”
There is a pause.
“I can’t believe we’re all getting so old,” he says.
“I know. I emailed Tommy [his son] awhile ago, and he’s in college now. If that made me feel old, I can’t imagine what my turning 30 is doing to the rest of you guys.”
We chuckle. This is probably just small-talk, so it’s not as severe when he tells me, but it feels good regardless. Familiar, familial.
“Listen, Wil. I have bad news.”
Although I’ve suspected it for months, and I have really known it since I heard the message the night before, my stomach tightens, my arms grow cold.
“We’ve had to cut your scene from the movie.”
He pauses for breath, and that moment is frozen, while I assess my feelings.
I almost laugh out loud at what I discover: I feel puzzled.
I feel puzzled, because the emotions I expected: the sadness, the anger, the indignation…aren’t there.
I realize that he’s waiting for me.
“Why’d you have to cut it?”
This doesn’t make sense. I should be furious. I should be depressed. I shuould be hurt.
But I don’t feel badly, at all.
“Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he begins.
I laugh silently. It never does. When I don’t get a part, or a callback, or get cut from a movie, it never has anything to do with me. Like a sophmore romance. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve met Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin, and things just happened.”
There is an unexpected sincerity to what he tells me: the movie is long. The first cut was almost 3 hours. The scene didn’t contribute to the main story in any way, so it was the first one to go.
He tells me that they’ve cut 48 minutes from the movie.
I tell him that they’ve cut an entire episode out. We laugh.
There is another silence. He’s waiting for me to respond.
I drive past some kids playing in an inflatable pool in their front yard. On the other side of the street, neighbors talk across a chain link fence. An older man sits on his porch reading a paper.
“Well Rick,” I begin, “I completely understand. I’ve thought about this on and off for months, and I knew that if the movie was long, this scene, and maybe even this entire sequence, would have to go. It’s just not germaine to the spine of the story.”
He tells me that they had to consider cutting the entire beginning of the movie. He tells me that he has to call one of the other actors because they’ve suffered rather large cuts as well.
I stop at a 4-way stop sign and let a woman and her little daughter cross the street on their way into a park filled with families, playing baseball and soccer in the waning light.
I look them. The mother’s hand carefully holding her daughter’s.
I realize why I’m not upset, and I tell him.
“Well, Rick, it’s like this: I love Star Trek, and, ultimately, I want what’s best for Star Trek and the Trekkies. If the movie is too long, you’ve got to cut it, and this scene is the first place I’d start if I were you.
“The great thing is, I got to spend two wonderful days being on Star Trek again, working with the people I love, wearing the uniform that I missed, and I got to re-connect with you, the cast, and the fans. Nobody can take that away from me.”
“And, it really means a lot to me that you called me yourself. I can’t tell you how great that makes me feel,”
It’s true. He didn’t need to call me himself. Most producers wouldn’t.
“I’m so glad that you took the time to call me, and that I didn’t have to learn about this at the screening, or by reading it on the internet.”
He tells me again how sorry he is. He asks about my family, and if I’m working on anything. I tell him they’re great, that Ryan’s turning 13, and that I’ve been enjoying steady work as a writer since January.
We’re back to small talk again, bookending the news.
I ask him how the movie looks.
He tells me that they’re very happy with it. He thinks it’s going to be very successful.
I’m feel happy and proud.
I’ve heard stories from people that everyone had lots of trouble with the director. I ask him if that’s true.
He tells me that it was tough, because the director had his own vision. There were struggles, but ultimately they collaborated to make a great film.
I come to a stoplight, a bit out of place in this quiet residential neighborhood. A young married couple walks their golden retriever across the crosswalk.
We say our goodbyes, and he admonishes me to call him if I’m ever on the lot. He tells me that he’ll never forgive me if I don’t stop into his office when I’m there.
I tell him that will, and that I’ll see him at the screening.
He wishes me well, and we hang up the phone.
The light turns green and I sit there for a moment, reflecting on the conversation.
I think back to something I wrote in April while in a pit of despair: “I wonder if The Lesson is that, in order to succeed, I need to rely upon myself, trust myself, love myself, and not put my happiness and sadness into the hands of others.”
I meant everything that I said to him. It really doesn’t matter to me if I’m actually in the movie or not, and not in a bitter way at all.
I could focus on the disappointment, I suppose. I could feel sad.
Getting cut out of the movie certainly fits a pattern that’s emerged in the past two years or so.
But I choose not to. I choose instead to focus on the positives, the things I can control. I did have two wonderful days with people I love, and it was like I’d never left. I did get to reconnect with the fans and the franchise. Rick Berman, a person with whom I’ve not always had the best relationship, called me himself to tell me the news, and I felt like it weighed heavily on him to deliver it.
Nobody can take that away from me, and I’m not going to feel badly, at all.
Because I have a secret.
I have realized what’s important in my life since April, and they are at the end of my drive.
The dog-walking couple smile and wave to me.
The light changes.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.
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Bummer WIl, but at least you know you’ll be in the special edition DVD with Bonus footage!
Bummer WIl, but at least you know you’ll be in the special edition DVD with Bonus footage!
Bummer WIl, but at least you know you’ll be in the special edition DVD with Bonus footage!
Oops. Sorry about the click twitch there. Jeez, just like a f*ckin’ newbie. Still gettin’ used to the non-java browser thingy
Sucks that you got cut, but hey: i’m sure there will be bigger and better things for you to do in the future. i’m looking forward to them.
Your eloquence amazes me. Write a book or something: i’d read it.
Well I guess that your next appearance will be as a captain of some future Enterprise class ship.
Cheers
Cthulhu
Wil,
Sorry to hear the news, but it sounds like you’ve handling it very well… like Wesley has matured from that whiny annoying guy, to someone I wouldn’t want to miss in a film (Harrison Ford, Kevin Spacey, etc.). Someone at SciFi needs to hook you up with your own series 😉
With this news, I’ll be holding off to see the movie ’till it hits a DVD. I’m finding more and more that my old favorites (Star Trek and Star Wars) just don’t have it anymore and don’t appeal much more than a bad episode of SG1 or Farscape. I’ll sit through both, but I won’t pay top dollar for it, ya know? Not a boycott, but just perturbed at them for stringing you (and us!) along.
On the other hand, I can’t wait for LoTR:TT to come out in December. That’s one series that has (so far) delivered, and then some. Go get the LoTR:FoTR DVD and sit back and enjoy, Wil. I’ve watched it half a dozen times since I got the DVD and still lovin’ it.
Wil, you were and are a 100% valid member of the ST:TNG crew. Don’t say “…Wesley Crusher falls silent forever”. If your scenes still don’t make it into the movie on the special edition of the DVD, I will be very disappointed.
Very disappointed to hear the news. Even though your scenes might not have been key to the movie plot, it would still be nice to see one of my favorite STTNG characters on the big screen. If for no other reason than to get reaquainted and updated with Wesley’s life.
As I read your blog, I’m can feel the disappointment that I won’t see Wesley Crusher, and I have to admit that I feel bad for you, as I remember how excited you were when you first started working on Nemesis. But as others have said, hopefully your scene will be reinstated in the DVD.
Wil, what a great piece of writing.
Remember, you will always have Wil Wheaton’s Run! It’s gonna kick butt! 🙂
Wil Wheaton’s Run!
http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/365.html
Great way to handle the whole situation. My question is what is wrong with a 3 hour Star Trek movie????
Hey Wil,
Bad news sucks. I’ve read about this through the point of view from many other artist. No matter what anyone says or does, it does not make it any easier. You are still an artist and that can not be taken away. You still are and always will be one of the luckiest men on this planet in and outside of the business. It was a great two days and we always meet great people.
F.G.
Really really sorry to hear that Will. That really sucks. It kinda reminds me of what happened to Rick Sternbach when they began work on StarTrek: Enterprise. At least you got a call letting you know what the score was. I know, small consolation…
Once again.. my condolences.
kenn brown
vancouver, bc
*Hugs*
I’m glad you’re feeling more centered in your life, Wil. I still wanna see you in a movie, and I’ll miss your part in this one. Hey, with the ‘special edition’ DVD trend that’s emerging, may they’ll add it all it on a second release! :o)
I’m glad that this hasn’t ruined your mood.
🙂 i am glad there are such optimistic people like you around in this world…makes people like we, who get upset and disillusioned easily have someone to look up to…
I’m not some kind of die-hard Trekkie. I do like Star Trek, and I really liked the Wesley Crusher character. I can’t think of anyone else who could have played young Wesley better than you did.
I’ve never been one to be wowed or awed by actors or celebrities in general. However, I’ve been reading your blogs for about a month, and not only am I impressed with your acting, I’m pretty impressed with you as a person. You seem to be more of a real person than your typical detached celebrity who lives a real life… not some fantasy hollywood dream.
I must say I’m disappointed that you will not be in the movie. I do hope to see you in future productions that would display the diversity in character we’ve seen here on your website… hell, I’d even like to see you play a villian! (I’d bet you’d make a GREAT villian!)
Nobody in hollywood has impressed me off screen as much as you have, and I hope to see you on the big screen with Hollywood’s greatest!
-=Jerry=-
What rotten news this is! I always liked your character on TNG, and I know that I was looking forward to seeing Wesley Crusher reappear in Nemesis. I can tell from the previous comments that I’m not alone in this, either. I’m sorry, Wil — what a disappointment this must have been.
Still, you handled the whole thing with exceptional grace and aplomb. Thanks for sharing such a poignant moment with us.
Wil,
I’m sorry. I was really looking forward to seeing Wesley in ST:Nemesis because he was the guy we wanted to be on ST:TNG, the punk kid who became an ensign and the ensign who became a space-time travel visionary. I hope you demand that your scenes be put on the DVD so that I won’t be left wondering “What ever happened to that nice young man?” I admire your stiff upper lip and am glad that you recognized the most important things in life. My Wesley action figure was disappointed but I promised him next week he could visit He-Man and the GI Joes in my Lego Rebel Alliance Base and beat the hell out of Megatron and the Decepticons. >:o)
~E
Man, that stinks. STNG is still the best Star Trek ever, and they should keep every character going in the movies. By now Wesley Crusher should have been commanding his own ship and married to some hot Vulcan.
I write [space opera, mostly], and edit for other folk… and while reading your post, I had an Insight:
All stories are built on the parts that *didn’t* make it into the narrative. Not just background info, but stuff that wound up on the floor. Sortof like the fill dirt used to level a construction site.
I don’t remember where all I was going with this, but you get the idea. So Wesley isn’t involved this time, but we know he’s there, helping hold up the building. 🙂
Wil, i dont know what to say. of course im disappointed but no offense i probably would of waited for the dvd version anyway seeing as i work in a video store and would get it for free when it comes out. i for one loved your wesley character, to be quite honest i had a huge crush on you!!!! obviously these people dont realize how many fans you have otherwise they wouldnt of cut you out of this flick. they are going to loose a lot of money by the looks of other posts on here! i congratulate you though on your maturity and the way you handled yourself! by the way i recently discovered your site and its truly one of a kind. I feel like im getting to know the real you by reading your entries and not just what a magazine editor decided to keep in an interview! keep up the good work
Well, if its as good as LOTR, you might make it onto the DVD.
It’s great that you’re so positive, but it still royally sucks you got cut. I was looking forward to finally seeing you in one of the movies. Maybe someone will be nice to all us fans and put your deleted scenes on the DVD. I’ll still see the movie, but it won’t be the same not seeing Wesley Crusher in it.
4
How is it you remember the people you pass while driving + talking? That’s another talent you got man. I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
5 Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Can I get a “HELL YEAH” from the other ladies in the house who think Wil is hot?!
Sorry you got cut. I hope to see more of your beautiful writings though. They were *really* inspiring. It made me forget all the junk in my life for a while and be thankful that I have something at the end of my drive home to look forward to.
Stay sweet.
If only they’d cut you from Toy Soldiers too. LOL.
Only kidding mate! Tough news, but at least you starred in a succesful series at a young age, not many people can say that.
Have a ganders at my website – full of poems about snot and bogeys to cheer you up.
I’ve never been much of a fan of Star Treck, and I’ve never been much of a fan of the character of Wesley Crusher… but – well, I was going to write that “I’m considering being a fan of yours,” but that seems rather lame when what I’m really thinking is “Hey, he’s a very cool person. I should read his journal more often.”
Instead of being a fan, I will see if I can be a friend.
I’m sorry to hear about having your scene cut. As has been mentioned, odds are good that it’ll show up on the DVD. I’m glad to read that you’re okay, that you know how good your life is. I know the feeling. I love my life, strange as it may be; I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I’m happy.
And I’m 30, too.
So take care, and I’ll see you around online.
Wil, you’re the man. You’ll be at the helm someday looking back gloriously. Peace Out.
I know this is harsh, but it’s probably karma,
and it serves you right for talking on a mobile
phone whilst driving a car.
I’m a bike rider and hate those annoying fuckers
who drive and talk at the same time. Yeah sure
it was probably hands free, but it doesn’t matter,
if you talk and drive then chances are you’re
not paying attention, not indicating, etc etc.
boo hoo!
damn you for being so human.
Move on. Tell us your stories. Go forth and prosper. Know that through your writings, you are in our hearts and thoughts. Your image flashing on a video screen could never bring us as close to you as what you do here; you’re sharing your real life with us. You have many loving supporters who want to see you succeed, and believe that you will. Love ya Wil.
Now get back to work. 🙂
I think I speak for all of us TNG fans, who have watched you from the start. I don’t think it will quite be the same without wesley crusher there for the end. Damn berman….i don’t trust that guy… 😉 joking of course
Whoever decided to cut the movie because it’s “too long” isn’t making this movie for Star Trek fans. You said it yourself: they cut an entire episode! We only get new TNG once every few years– let it be long! Make an intermission if necessary; people will buy more popcorn and squishies.
Add my voice to the long list of people who wanted to see you in the movie!
Angelique
Oh, man! What Angelique said!
But you know, Wil, there are millions of people who support and admire you, and the life you brought to Wesley’s character. I don’t for a minute think that Wesley “fell silent” anywhere — I think he would be too involved in his interesting, rewarding life to let anything but the positives of this stay with him.
Kind of like you… 😉
A small postscript to what I said above…
As long as any station or cable network anywhere continues to rerun the TNG episodes (or at least, the first three seasons, the fourth season up through “Final Mission,” “The Game,” “The First Duty,” “Parallels,” “Journey’s End,” and any I forgot about that Wil was in)…
As long as the videotapes and DVDs of those episodes still sell…
As long as the TNG fans still gather in places like this one to remember…
As long as the pictures, action figures and paraphernalia continue to sell in the stores and on the auction sites…
As long as any of that is still happening…Wesley Crusher can *never* truly fall silent.
Wil may have given him life, but he’s taken on a life of his own by now. Somewhere in somebody’s imagination, (ex-)Ensign Wesley Crusher continues to go forth, exploring strange new worlds, seeking new life forms and new civilizations, and–need I say?–boldly going where no one has gone before.
May Wesley’s road rise up to meet him.
Hey there — I am disappointed Wesley Crusher will not be in Nemesis – I was looking forward to seeing you in there and it would have been nice to have some closure on the character. Your attitude is inspiring – and you spent two days doing something most of us here can only dream about! 🙂
All the best for the future, Kestra.
Wil Wheaton lives? You actually had a role in that new Star Trek movie? If it weren’t for slashdot I would not know these things.
I always disliked the character of Wesley Crusher. I just hate kids in movies, I don’t know why. They’re annoying. Ironically you acted better than the rest of the cast did most of the time, but then the STNG-cast is not known for they’re exceptional acting.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say here. I’m kinda stunned. There’s this guy I didn’t like (the role I mean) who I thought was dead (I thought I read somewhere that you committed suicide – no joke!) and it turns out he is alive and acting and has a webpage where he makes his private life public.
It’s all so…unreal?
Anyway, more luck next time and rock on dude.
D.
Thats a bit of a bugger! But hey if you dont mind then what the hell?? It seems to me that you got what you needed out of the experience and maybe it was good closure??
By the way – you write very eliquently! I dont think i could express my feelings so clearly!
🙂
Syren
P.S. – This is the first time i have posted to your site – Its very impressive BTW!!
As long as all of these edited scenes make it to the eventual DVD release. At the end of the day, you were there, you made the scenes… you got be Wes again. I wonder what your (on-screen) Mom’s gonna say about all this!? Beverly set to kill?
:o)
Chris
You’re cool Wil. Don’t change.
Bad luck 🙁 I’m sorry you got cut.. your inclusion made alot of news on alot of sites.
3 Hours… bejesus. Am I the only person who doesn’t have a problem with a 3 hour long Trek film?
I hope that dodgy sex scene gets cut too.. gah.. Sex in Star Trek? Insinuated, yes… shown, hell no. Urg.
Hi Wil,
first i have a confession to make. I dont really like star trek, sure some episodes are entertaining, i did like the First Contact movie, but the rest of it usually is not very interesting to me and thus i never really became a Trekkie. However, a post on Slashdot brought me here, and i must say that you have a cool attitude regarding this thing, which i know would disappoint me heavily. I really like what you wrote, the way you wrote it, but more importantly the last paragraph in your writing kinda puts some things into perspective and is .. i don’t know.. right.. and inspiring in a non trekkie way. I think you have an interesting and promising career as a writer ahead of you. This weblog post proves it because it moved me, and i am a rather inanimate object heheh 🙂
Nice entry, Wil. Nice to see someone putting words around what it is that becomes important when we get older.
Set phazers to “unemployed”!
The poster above me likes to have sex with children.
THERE IS A HULL BREACH IN WIL WHEATON’S HEAD
All engineers to deck, we need to shoot Tacky-Ion beams at this e/n weenie! SET PHAZERS TO “CHILD ACTOR WILL ACT FOR FOOD”
Wil Wheaton is the voice of our generation. I’m glad to finally have a web site that speaks to our generation. I just wish the film maker’s would have had the intelligence to make a film for our generation. Without Wil it’s not for our generation.
Until then I will make due with this film loop of Princess Lisa bending over R2D2 while I play my audio tape I made of SciFi Space Sounds mixed with lesbian porn.
I’ve always been a little troubled with the length of ST films…especially the newer ones. It just doesn’t seem like there could be a ST film that is too long. If the film is good, length is unimportant. It’s a shame that this new film is being hacked away to nothing…those bastards!