Spare us the cutter

The call came while I was out, so I didn’t get the message until days later.
“Hi,” the young-sounding secretary said on my machine, “I have Rick Berman calling for Wil. Please return when you get the message.”
I knew.
I knew before she was even done with the message, but I tried to fool myself for a few minutes anyway.
I looked at the clock: 8 PM. They’d most likely be out, so I’d have to call tomorrow.
I told Anne that I had a message to call Rick’s office, and she knew right away also.
We’d thought about it for months, ever since I’d heard the rumors online. Of course, I tend to not put a whole lot of stock in what I read online…if I did I’d be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of hot teen bitches who want to get naked for me right now, and I’d be rolling in Nigerian money.
But it made sense, and I couldn’t fight what I knew in my heart to be true.
I returned the call late the next day from my car on my way home from work. I was driving along a narrow tree-lined street in Pasadena that I sometimes take when the traffic is heavy on the freeway.
Children played on bikes and jumped rope in the growing shadows of the July afternoon. The street was stained a beautiful orange by the setting sun.
“This is Wil Wheaton returning,” I told her.
She tells me to hold on, and then he’s on the phone.
“Hi kiddo. How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. You know I turn 30 on Monday?”
There is a pause.
“I can’t believe we’re all getting so old,” he says.
“I know. I emailed Tommy [his son] awhile ago, and he’s in college now. If that made me feel old, I can’t imagine what my turning 30 is doing to the rest of you guys.”
We chuckle. This is probably just small-talk, so it’s not as severe when he tells me, but it feels good regardless. Familiar, familial.
“Listen, Wil. I have bad news.”
Although I’ve suspected it for months, and I have really known it since I heard the message the night before, my stomach tightens, my arms grow cold.
“We’ve had to cut your scene from the movie.”
He pauses for breath, and that moment is frozen, while I assess my feelings.
I almost laugh out loud at what I discover: I feel puzzled.
I feel puzzled, because the emotions I expected: the sadness, the anger, the indignation…aren’t there.
I realize that he’s waiting for me.
“Why’d you have to cut it?”
This doesn’t make sense. I should be furious. I should be depressed. I shuould be hurt.
But I don’t feel badly, at all.
“Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he begins.
I laugh silently. It never does. When I don’t get a part, or a callback, or get cut from a movie, it never has anything to do with me. Like a sophmore romance. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’ve met Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin, and things just happened.”
There is an unexpected sincerity to what he tells me: the movie is long. The first cut was almost 3 hours. The scene didn’t contribute to the main story in any way, so it was the first one to go.
He tells me that they’ve cut 48 minutes from the movie.
I tell him that they’ve cut an entire episode out. We laugh.
There is another silence. He’s waiting for me to respond.
I drive past some kids playing in an inflatable pool in their front yard. On the other side of the street, neighbors talk across a chain link fence. An older man sits on his porch reading a paper.
“Well Rick,” I begin, “I completely understand. I’ve thought about this on and off for months, and I knew that if the movie was long, this scene, and maybe even this entire sequence, would have to go. It’s just not germaine to the spine of the story.”
He tells me that they had to consider cutting the entire beginning of the movie. He tells me that he has to call one of the other actors because they’ve suffered rather large cuts as well.
I stop at a 4-way stop sign and let a woman and her little daughter cross the street on their way into a park filled with families, playing baseball and soccer in the waning light.
I look them. The mother’s hand carefully holding her daughter’s.
I realize why I’m not upset, and I tell him.
“Well, Rick, it’s like this: I love Star Trek, and, ultimately, I want what’s best for Star Trek and the Trekkies. If the movie is too long, you’ve got to cut it, and this scene is the first place I’d start if I were you.
“The great thing is, I got to spend two wonderful days being on Star Trek again, working with the people I love, wearing the uniform that I missed, and I got to re-connect with you, the cast, and the fans. Nobody can take that away from me.”
“And, it really means a lot to me that you called me yourself. I can’t tell you how great that makes me feel,”
It’s true. He didn’t need to call me himself. Most producers wouldn’t.
“I’m so glad that you took the time to call me, and that I didn’t have to learn about this at the screening, or by reading it on the internet.”
He tells me again how sorry he is. He asks about my family, and if I’m working on anything. I tell him they’re great, that Ryan’s turning 13, and that I’ve been enjoying steady work as a writer since January.
We’re back to small talk again, bookending the news.
I ask him how the movie looks.
He tells me that they’re very happy with it. He thinks it’s going to be very successful.
I’m feel happy and proud.
I’ve heard stories from people that everyone had lots of trouble with the director. I ask him if that’s true.
He tells me that it was tough, because the director had his own vision. There were struggles, but ultimately they collaborated to make a great film.
I come to a stoplight, a bit out of place in this quiet residential neighborhood. A young married couple walks their golden retriever across the crosswalk.
We say our goodbyes, and he admonishes me to call him if I’m ever on the lot. He tells me that he’ll never forgive me if I don’t stop into his office when I’m there.
I tell him that will, and that I’ll see him at the screening.
He wishes me well, and we hang up the phone.
The light turns green and I sit there for a moment, reflecting on the conversation.
I think back to something I wrote in April while in a pit of despair: “I wonder if The Lesson is that, in order to succeed, I need to rely upon myself, trust myself, love myself, and not put my happiness and sadness into the hands of others.”
I meant everything that I said to him. It really doesn’t matter to me if I’m actually in the movie or not, and not in a bitter way at all.
I could focus on the disappointment, I suppose. I could feel sad.
Getting cut out of the movie certainly fits a pattern that’s emerged in the past two years or so.
But I choose not to. I choose instead to focus on the positives, the things I can control. I did have two wonderful days with people I love, and it was like I’d never left. I did get to reconnect with the fans and the franchise. Rick Berman, a person with whom I’ve not always had the best relationship, called me himself to tell me the news, and I felt like it weighed heavily on him to deliver it.
Nobody can take that away from me, and I’m not going to feel badly, at all.
Because I have a secret.
I have realized what’s important in my life since April, and they are at the end of my drive.
The dog-walking couple smile and wave to me.
The light changes.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever.

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584 thoughts on “Spare us the cutter”

  1. It really is a shame to hear you were cut, I was really looking forward to seeing your character again. I am glad to hear that you enjoyed the experience with old friends, though. I’m not sure I could’ve seen the positives as well as you did if I were in your place.
    More power to you, Wil.

  2. Wil – I envy you your ability to put your hard-earned pearl of wisdom into action, with such positive and tangible results. You are correct, of course, that the secret to happiness is to realize it doesn’t need to come from others. Your reaction is proof. The hardest part is turning “knowing” that truth into real action in one’s life. I doubt I would have handled your situation as well as you did.
    PS: Sarcastic wise-ass remarks next time, this was my first reply because only this log entry inspired me adequately to write one.
    Peace
    /d

  3. Wow, sorry Wil. Love your attitude kiddo. Nice words thanks I needed them too. My kids and family are all I have and all I need.

  6. I’ll probably start off like you’ve heard so many, many people start off with you. Sorry ’bout that.
    I loved your work in “Stand By Me.” Your part in that movie, and your character’s motivation, very, very accurately reflected an incident in my life. I still can’t get through your scene with Phoenix where you say, “Why did he have to die, Chris? It should have been me.” because I’d said nearly those exact words.
    I was so-so about Wesley Crusher. I thought it was a very difficult part to write for, and it was impossible to please the fans with. That said, I thought you did well with what you were given.
    I saw this entry after someone referred it to me. I’ve stopped on your site from time to time because I find we’re very close politically in our views.
    But, man, you can WRITE! Perhaps you should see what you can do with that. You write a book with the same introspective style that you wrote this entry with and, hell, I’d buy it!
    Peace, Wil. You’re on a good road…

  7. I just read that your scene was cut from the movie on ign.com. Although I don’t think I’m a trekie, I did like your character on the show and I’m not entirely sure where he went. I will be quite dissapointed to not see him in the movie. But hopefully they will piece it back together for the DVD and you won’t JUST be in the cut scenes section. I would hope Paramount (?) would do that for the fans.

  8. Aint that about a bitch!?
    One of the things I like about Star Trek is the long history I feel I have with the characters. I feel like I have known them far many years, and I thought the whole idea of bringing back Wesley was great. Will, if you speak to Rick Bermann please tell him to push for a special edition DVD wich features both a theatrical version and an uncut version of the film!

  9. I couldn’t bear to see “404” next to comments, so I had to make it 405.
    Thanks for The Lesson quote. I needed that right about now. I will carry that with me for some time.

  10. wil: if the execs at paramount could read all these comments…could they consider this a petition…filled with more than just names…filled also with the heartfelt sentiment…that the kid stays in the picture!

  11. OK. WE NEED A GRASSROOTS “SAVE WESLEY” CAMPAIGN. WHEATON AND HIS INTERNET HORDE ARE THE BEST THING STAR TREK HAS GOING FOR IT. WE WANT A WESLEY/WHEATON CAMEO!!!

  14. Wil,
    you know the more I think about you getting cut from Nemesis, and I am thinking about it.
    Also from the way people on here are talking about your scenes being on DVD,and they are talking about it..
    I am getting more upset.
    When is the last time a Star Trek movie got any directors cuts? except for the new releas of Star Trek II The Wrath Of Khan, and it’s what 20 yrs old? I don’t know about you but I don’t want to wait 20 yrs to see your scenes.
    Here is another thing. Everyone is saying Wil write a book, well here are some titles for ya especially if Berman leaves you off DVD and I am sure he will and it won’t have anything to do with you, it’s him, remember? “I met Jimmy Kimmels cousin and things just happned.” anyway now for the nifty titles…
    This one is if you are left off of the DVD..
    “How Rick Berman Screwed me twice without kissing me Once” by Wil Wheaton
    On a serious note: “Star Trek and Me” by Wil Wheaton.
    Ok screw being serious: “How Rick Berman Broke it Off In Me” by Wil Wheaton
    And my personal favorite: “My own Personal Nemesis” by Wil Wheaton (this one is all about..well you hating Rick Berman, and him being your enemy).
    Well I had to get that out of my system I fell alot better now. It has been bothering me knowing you were cut, so don’t worry about not being pissed off at Berman I’ll do it for ya.
    Take care Wil, Until your next post..
    Matt……

  15. Ok in my last post I didn’t spell *feel* write well here it is the write way, and I also left an E of of release so here it is now.
    release
    I feel better now.

  16. Wil
    What do you mean “Somewhere in Brooklyn, Wesley Crusher falls silent forever”??? Who let whom into my memories???
    (Whew)
    Just checked. Wesley is alive and kicking. Thought we’d lost you there.

  17. Hey, just thought that I’d post that I noticed a lapse in your grammar skills. 😉
    I’m feel happy and proud.
    *Shrugs.* Not a big deal, but it needed to be said. 😀

  18. What!!!!!!! No MORE WIL!!! I THINK I’MA START CRYING WHY WIL WHY HIM! They could cut these damn ads that you see before the movie starts!
    Anyways WIL I think you just learned that hollywood is not always Holly! You can still apply for a job at MCDonalds I think they are hiring young geniuses like Wesley Crusher.

  19. You’re always making me cry these little silent tears, usually at my desk in the office. *sigh* While I am a leeetle bit sad they had to cut you…I am so happy that you’ve made peace with it, and other things.

  20. I would have been nice to see you in the new film, but I’m still enjoying you from the series – so for me Wes is still on the Enterprise and always will be.
    Thanks for all the work you did on the series. Over the years I’ve enjoyed it a great deal… and still do.
    Best Wishes…
    Jez

  21. Rick Berman doesn’t know the first thing about Star Trek nor about what’s good for Star Trek. Rick Berman only knows about Rick Berman and dollar signs. From what I’ve seen of Nemesis so far you’re probably better off not being in it. Bald guys wielding Gil Hibben knives and giant battles in jeeps are not what Star Trek is about. It’s only what marketing people think will appeal to non-Trekkers. I sure they figure Trekkers will see the movie no matter what and that they need to rope in as many other people as they can to make maximum dollars. Well, they’re not going to get mine, that’s for sure.

  22. Sucks that your scene was cut. Sucks for you, obviously, and it sucks for those of us that wanted to see it. I’m sorry to hear it.
    I’m glad that Berman was pretty stand-up about it, though (much more so than some of the editors I deal with in my own work). It’s obvious that you still feel a definite connection to TREK, and would still like to contribute. So, something occurs to me: You should pitch to ENTERPRISE as a writer. Would TPTB be receptive to something like that?

  23. Hi Wil. I find it hillarious that a whole Slashdot thread is concentrated on admonishing you for talking on a cell phone while driving.
    Heehee. Looks like that is the bigger tragedy!
    Chris

  25. I feel bad that your scene got cut out of the movie. To me, that would have been one of the better scenes to see Wesley Crusher come back with the crew of the Enterprise. It’s been a while since Wesley had been there. I hope they have this scene on the DVD!!

  26. Wil,
    I must admit I was annoyed with Wesley Crusher when I first saw him on TNG. I’ve heard that you requested that he not save the ship on a regular basis after that, and I found respect for you, even though the character still annoyed me. Then, Wesley started to grow up, and I started to like him, too. Naturally, as with many things in Star Trek, just when they start to get good, they get cut. 🙁
    Still, I want you to know that I’m disappointed that you were cut (even though I didn’t know you had filmed any scenes until I heard they’d been cut) from Nemesis. I’m hoping that Nemesis will prove to be a mold-breaking film for TNG.
    I’m sorry, I’m wandering. Let me get to the point: I respect you now, more than ever. I think it is clearly a loss to the the Star Trek franchise that you are no longer involved.
    You mentioned that you have had steady work as a writer, recently. I’d like to see what you can do, as a writer, with Trek, and I encourage you to pursue that path.
    I wish you luck in whatever you choose to pursue.

  27. Hey I’m post 409! I’m sure my post will be completely original.
    I’ve always been impressed with you, since finding your website. I always felt Wesley got the shaft on NG and particularly from Trek fans. I’m glad you can see what’s really important in your life, your family, your friends, the experience of living. I’d like to thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.

  28. That’s really something. I was reading Slashdot and saw that thread. I think most of us.
    I live in Brazil, and we are currently running on STTNG 6th year, DS9 (4th year), Voy (4th year), and Enterprise will start september 7th.
    To tell you the truth, I always wandered about what has happened to Wes. There are some episodes that start something, but never finished. I was thinking that finally, I would know what Wes was about.
    I feel really sorry. Lot of posts above talk about what Star Trek means. IMHO, you were part of it; you deserve to be there. You earned it.

  29. It’s sad they are cutting the Trek throwbacks, especially someone who was there when TNG started. I wonder if Whoopi has enough clout to keep her mug in the flick, but after seeing Rat Race – it might be hard.
    They tagged this as “a generations final journey” and they should use everything they have. They should cut out 20 minutes of the fly-by sequences or drop 2-3 of the Data realization/jokes bits.
    A 3-hour movie isn’t necessarily a bad thing, think Titanic or LOTR, even the last 2 Star Wars movies were long and boring and fans ate that shit up. If you end up with Pearl Harbor, then you’re fucked. Yeah, fuck Rick Berman, like that other guy said above. He should be thinking not only about the fans, but even your closure with the character and the series. And fuck the writers of DS9 for how many hours they wasted with the holographic guy who became their friend in the lounge And a big f-off to the people who brought us Greg the Bunny.
    Sorry about all the f-bombs I just dropped, and especially when that leech got on your wee-wee when you, River, Corey, and Jerry were swimming.

  30. well, sad to read this. But anyway, a nice written story 🙂
    I’d have liked to see a somewhat “grown-up” wesley on Star Trek. Hope there will be, after all, another chance. Later. Remember good ol’ Dr. McCoy on TNG1x01 😉

  32. I agree with the consensus that you handled the situation very well, but my comment has to do with the entry itself. You are a superb writer, you have a great sense for the dramatic, and a certain way with words that is truly effective. Have you considered doing some fiction writing? If you already have something published that I don’t know about, could you maybe let me know if you have the time? Thanks
    Dan

  33. I am truly sorry to hear that you were cut from the movie. It’s the passing of an era for all of us who watched that seven year run.
    Since this is (from what I’ve heard) the final TNG movie, it’s the passing of an era for us all. You just felt it go a little sooner than the rest of us.
    Looking forward to seeing/reading something great from you in the future.
    Tammy

  34. Sorry about the cut, Wil. And I hope all 48 minutes are on the DVD….hell, I would LOVE to see a three hour ST:TNG movie! I’ve seen LOTR:FOTR five times so far.
    I also hope that there will be a ST:TNG movie with Wesley Crusher as the main character. Consider they way Wesley left the series with the Traveler, there has got to be a million plots that can come up.
    Peace, out.

  36. First let me say that I am amazed at the number of comments this post has received – it’s sitting at 432 as I write. I’m wondering what your all-time high is.
    Secondly, I heard about this on the news this afternoon while I ate my lunch, and decided to come and read it for myself. It’s a pity that you won’t be in the film, like all the others, I too would have liked to have seen you in action once again.
    Last, isn’t it a wonderful feeling when we step out of the shadow of our past, and embrace the now? Acknowledging and appreciating what we have today is perhaps the best gift we can give ourselves. Congratulations Wil, I wish you all the very best!

  37. You fucking rock, man! You have done more with this site and that last post than most people will ever do. You connect, man. And with every so-called stumble in your life you rise up. Thanks for pulling us along with you.

  39. Hi Wil,
    you have a great writing style. I enjoyed reading it. You actually were one of my favorite STNG characters, and i always wondered what happened to you characterwise … too bad…

  40. This is BS people.
    This is perhaps the final ST:TNG movie, and they’re gonna cut you out of it?! WTF?!
    Instead of cutting people out, they should be determined to bring EVERYone back. You, Goldberg, Q, freaking all the major supporting characters. It’s like if they just decided to cut out LeVar? I mean, c’mon Berman, get with the ST vibe. Stop letting the studio run the franchise. Would it matter if we started a petition?
    You rock Will, don’t let this get you down.
    -Fan

  41. Hey Wil,
    I wish the part hadn’t been cut, I was really excited to see you back with the gang. Next Gen really means alot to me. I still watch it, I’m only 18, but I’m a Wes fan, I hope they include it in the DVD,
    Thanks
    Denielle

  43. Oh damn!
    Living in Germany, I cannot watch your Computer game show, I cannot watch you in the theatre, so I was looking so forward to see “Wesley Crusher” again, and if and how he is influenced by his alter ego Wil, from whoom I am more and more impressed with every Weblog entry I read.
    Now THAT!
    I guess I have to wait for the DVD – and I damn Paramount to hell, if the’ll leave your scenes out there, too!

  45. well no star trekkie movie for me if Wil’s not in it! It just isn’t the same without wesley crusher ;(

  46. Wow…I can’t believe Bil Wheaton has so many people lined up to pucker up and kiss his moderately talented butt.
    He seems like a decent guy, but c’mon…

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