For the last month, (and most of summer, I think) this site has sucked. It has sucked hard. I can’t write for shit, and when I have written, it’s been . . . well, shit.
I’ve always made an effort to be honest on this site. Regardless of how embarrassed or humiliated, sad or elated I may be about things . . . I’ve always written honestly, and directly.
Here’s the deal. Honestly.
Without going into gory details, Paramount soundly and massively fucked me on TNG residuals this quarter. The result? The gap between anticipated and realized income is enormous and I’ve been struggling all summer long to close it.
The best way to close that gap, and provide for my family, I figured, was with book sales. To drive book sales, I’ve had to be in “publicity mode” for most of the summer. The simple truth is, I fucking hate publicity. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Because I hate it so much, I suck at it. It’s so hard for me to get on the phone and talk my self, my site, and my book up . . . but it’s really important. I have learned from other authors and publishers that the only time books sell is when their authors work really hard to promote them.
So that’s what I’ve been doing . . . and this site has suffered because of it. This site has basically become one never-ending chant of bullshit about my book, and the stuff I’ve been doing to promote it.
Quoth Homer Simpson, “BORING.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m very proud of it, and readers keep telling me that they like it . . . but I’m tired of talking about it. I’m sick to death of being in “publicity mode.” It’s not that I’m ungrateful or anything. I want to be clear about that. The joy that’s come with the unexpected success was amazing . . . tempered, of course, by my massive fuck up of two days worth of orders, and the horrible delays that so many people had to endure because of it.
There’s other stuff going on too. Really bad stuff that I really can’t talk about right now . . . but it’s totally sucking the joy and laughter (and all of our money) right out of my life. Until it goes away, each day is a major struggle. I’ve also had my privacy severely violated recently, and it’s made me question whether I want to share any details about my life on this site at all.
So I know that this site has sucked. I know that there hasn’t been anything worth reading in a very long time . . . and I bet readers have moved on to other things. If you’re one of the few who have stuck around all summer, thank you.
Honestly: I’m really unhappy, scared, and frustrated right now.
I’ve just read this, and it seems like a big old whine-fest. That’s not my intention. I just want to explain some stuff. And since WWdN is just me, without any media filters . . . what you see is what you get.