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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

11835 kHz

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“We’ll be coming to you in just about two minutes, Wil.” The producer’s voice was strong and clear in my headphones,
“Okay,” I said. I spoke slowly and deliberately, in an effort to hide my nerves.
“Hold on,” he said, and clicked off. There was a brief silence, and then I could hear live programming.
I adjusted my headphones, and looked down at my hastily-scrawled notes. I lifted my microphone, and prepared to send my voice out to 150 million people.
One hundred.
Fifty.
Million.
People.
All over the world.
I was about to file a report with the prestigious World Service of the BBC.

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13 October, 2003 Wil

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138 thoughts on “11835 kHz”

  1. Eric B says:
    14 October, 2003 at 8:42 am

    BBC… Aren’t they the ones that enjoy a nice warm beer on cloudy summer evening? Ahh, how I do envy them for their unique passtime.
    While visiting a family of warm beer drinkers (yes, they were British), I was served some imported (warm) beer that the man of the house swore by.
    After taking a healthy gulp from this somewhat expensive bottle of warm pain, I tried to be considerate of my hosts, as I heavily censored my opinion. I now know what Calista Flockhart must feel like after a full three course meal just before rating sweeps.
    But seriously Wil – Congratulations on this truly great accomplishment. I think you may have found your second calling. 🙂
    Eric

  2. Andy Cohoe says:
    14 October, 2003 at 8:55 am

    Dude, you’re HUGE!
    So why did you have a TV with you anyway? Seems a wierd thing to have along when preparing for a radio broadcast. I’m wondering if there’s someone who unwittingly played a part in your skin-of-the-teeth save.
    Rock on!

  3. Robert W. Leu says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:06 am

    Holy crap dude! That is so freaking awesome!
    Yes, five to six minutes of talking is an eternity, especially in music-oriented formats (particularly when you have a Program Director hellbent on pounding into your brain “one thought per break, no more than 60 seconds”).
    I am so very jealous of you right now, it’s not funny.

  4. Nancy says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:07 am

    Congrats from London! I was listening and us Brits are giving you the thumbs up!

  5. Erik says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:11 am

    I envy you man. 🙂 Great job!

  6. Betsy says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:17 am

    Wil, it is so YOU to share your “misspoken” moment with everyone here. That’s what makes you the successful actor/geek/author/(and, yes) journalist that you are. Keep up the great work–you are an inspiration in being genuine.

  7. Trish says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:57 am

    Good Job! the fact that you can say anything under that kind of pressure is amazing. I would have been too nervous. I heard a saying that there are more people with a fear of public speaking then death. So that means that most people would rather be dead then give the uligy (sp?). So since you can do public speaking you definately have a rare gift.

  8. Barb says:
    14 October, 2003 at 10:07 am

    Followed the link bard…it wouldn’t work…but found the site anyway. What an idiot. So I added my two cents to your comment.
    Wil – great job. You are an inspiration.

  9. wil says:
    14 October, 2003 at 10:17 am

    Thanks, you guys.
    But I have to clarify: I’m not “officially” with the BBC or anything. I don’t even have a regular gig with them . . . though I’d take it in a second if they asked!
    I guess I just feel like calling myself a BBC correspondent after this one thing would be like calling myself a hockey player after one scrimmage with the Kings where I got lucky and scored a goal.
    🙂

  10. Mark Storer says:
    14 October, 2003 at 10:42 am

    “Got lucky and scored a goal”?
    Getting luck would invlove leaving with all your limbs still attached. Scoring a goal would require:
    1) Devine intervention.
    2) Actual talent.
    Guess which one everyone is leaning towards in this particular example.
    And one verbal slip-up after 5 minutes of talking is pretty amazing. I’m lucky to string 3 words together without a hitch.
    So how does becoming an internationally known News Guy fit into the whole plan for WORLD DOMINATION!!! (?)

  11. Terry says:
    14 October, 2003 at 10:48 am

    I’m the guy who wrote the ‘critical’ post. I’m not so much of a smartass that I can’t admit I was wrong. I’ve had a good look round Wil’s site and his writing, and he’s obviously a good guy.
    I was just trying to be ironic and ‘funny’. Sorry Wil. You’re a decent bloke and I wish you all the best with the career, and I hope yo do lots more work with the BBC.

  12. :: jozjozjoz :: says:
    14 October, 2003 at 10:58 am

    Congrats, Wil.
    I love that you did your broadcast from the same place I used to park while I was eating my lunch in my car back when I was working in radio.

  13. Guy says:
    14 October, 2003 at 11:04 am

    So far, the malapropism count is:
    GeorgeWBush: 23,792
    WilWheaton: 1
    And at least yours was an actual word, that almost fits in the sentence. Good job.

  14. Tery says:
    14 October, 2003 at 11:24 am

    That was wicked awsome!

  15. Annie says:
    14 October, 2003 at 11:29 am

    I’m British and I have tell you, BBC radio can, from time to time, suck. We have a thing called Radio 2 where the age group of listeners ranges from 72 to 102. It’s Snoresville. Radio 5 live however does tend to focus on more exilerating things (excluding football). It’s cool to know that our broadcasting company does actually have some taste, I hope they bring you back again soon:)
    And it is ACTUALLY HRH Royal Highness, just so ya know

  16. wil says:
    14 October, 2003 at 11:31 am

    Thanks, Critical Terry. No hard feelings. 🙂
    And Thanks Guy for making me shoot coffee out of my nose.

  17. David-Reed says:
    14 October, 2003 at 11:31 am

    Go forth and rock, Wil.

  18. Cyko says:
    14 October, 2003 at 12:19 pm

    Did you wear an aluminum foil hat when you did that broadcast? If not, THEY are coming for you now, THEY heard you.

  19. Kalel38 says:
    14 October, 2003 at 1:33 pm

    “Presupposition”. It’s the word that’s sweeping the nation!

  20. Eric B says:
    14 October, 2003 at 2:05 pm

    Wasn’t there two presuppositions we voted on in the previous recall election?

  21. Foxychik says:
    14 October, 2003 at 2:45 pm

    I’ve had a good idea Wil. What with your penchant for gardening (well mowing the lawn) and your affinity with good ol’ Auntie Beeb, how about approaching the good guys at BBC America with the premise of becoming a presenter on Ground Force. You’ll be much better than Charlie (I never wear a bra) Dimmock and you can dive into gardening, all the while happy in the fact that you’re getting paid top dollar for it. That plus the fact us Brits can catch you on BBC1 and enjoy your work makes the foxpot here a happy vixen.
    Also has anyone caught Chris Needs show on BBC Radio Wales http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/radiowales/ This guy is camp as a row of tents, but soooooo funny with it. Catch him around 22.10 hours (gmt)

  22. DumbGuy says:
    14 October, 2003 at 3:19 pm

    Who needs editors when you have a comments section?

  23. Kathy says:
    14 October, 2003 at 3:22 pm

    hey! i was browsing and i found this. just thought you’d like to see it if you hadnt run across it before. See ya
    http://www.younghollywoodhof.com/1980.html

  24. DC says:
    14 October, 2003 at 3:24 pm

    (golf claps, wil!). As a radio announcer in a small market out in the middle of nowhere, I found that if you bob your leg up and down while your talking (think Tom Arnold), it helps keep the energy going.
    Not too much, though. It’ll sound like your getting off while your reporting.
    Cheers..
    DC

  25. Wolfman says:
    14 October, 2003 at 4:13 pm

    Someone above asked what makes a real journalist. I don’t pretend to have all the answers. (Okay, sometimes I do.) I don’t even have most of the answers. All I know is this:
    You were broadcast live, reporting on a major story.
    They called you “The BBC’s Wil Wheaton”.
    That’s good enough for me.
    (By the way, can we get that T-Shirt, please? My suggestion would be kind of a “Good Morning, Vietnam” kind of picture for the shirt: A drawing of you with headphones and a microphone in front of the Union Jack with the caption “The BBC’s Wil Wheaton”. I know I’d buy that shirt.)

  26. mr. broccoli says:
    14 October, 2003 at 9:02 pm

    “i look forward to your report, mr. broccoli…”
    “metathesis is one of the most common of pronounciation errors, sir. a reversal of vowel and consonant. ‘bark’ to ‘broc’…”
    – picard and data, hollow pursuits

  27. Joinee Fowler says:
    15 October, 2003 at 3:12 am

    For future reference, we in the UK can get World Service on terrestrial radio – when Radio 4 goes dark (quiet?) at 1am it slips neatly into running World Service just in time for the next full news slot. Great radio to go to sleep to.

  28. Chriswife :) says:
    15 October, 2003 at 4:26 am

    WTG, Wil! Wish I could have heard your report.

  29. Gina says:
    15 October, 2003 at 6:36 am

    That’s pretty wicked! BBC World Service is one of my favorite news sources…honestly, they must think you a real journalist if they asked you to do this in the first place…sweet!

  30. AnnO says:
    15 October, 2003 at 6:42 am

    Yay..The beeb, eh! Congratulations, you have been inducted into the classy communications network 🙂

  31. bard says:
    15 October, 2003 at 10:02 am

    I hope everyone has gone to Terry’s site to follow the events that followed my posting a link to his site on here, and the bashing that I gave Terry on his ‘Blog site. I find it so completely cool that both Terry and Wil have been so big about all this..(aww, tear).
    It’s nice to see people get along.
    So, Terry’s not a complete ass (if he were, I’d know. Takes one to know one, doncha know). And Wil, as always, rules.
    Love, love, love.

  32. Johnny says:
    15 October, 2003 at 11:35 am

    Ohhh, journalism. If you thought it was hard making a living as an actor… 🙂
    On the plus side, you get even less respect.

  33. Jenny says:
    15 October, 2003 at 8:09 pm

    As excited as I am to see “Culver City”, that’s technically in L.A. Check out our new free parking garage near the new Trader Joe’s right before Washington meets Venice. It blows all other free city parking garages away.

  34. GoldenFool says:
    17 October, 2003 at 12:23 am

    What an exhilarating entry! I was so excited right along with ya, Wil! I was giggling with joy, and getting all teared up about how far we’ve vicariously come with you on this road, and the happiness that we get from your sharing your acheivements with us!

  35. Jenny M. Finster says:
    17 October, 2003 at 12:28 am

    Wow. I only know you from Trek and wwdn and I am damn proud of you, Wil! That’s so awesome.
    And I thought this was a smashing (ha ha) entry.
    Wil Wheaton you’re my hero. (Note that in my mind I said that like Cameron in Ferris Bueller, heh.)

  36. Ken says:
    17 October, 2003 at 7:43 am

    Also check out WBCQ Shortwave in Montecello Maine sometime. They are a station run by the former operators of Radio NewYork International, the famous pirate radio ship that re-broadcasted Pacificia News and other progressive programming offshore in International waters from NY for several weeks in the 1980’s before the FCC shut them down. Today they have a legit shortwave radio station with Their at wbcq.us and wbcq.com Free the airwaves for the people!

  37. Waldo Jaquith says:
    19 October, 2003 at 9:00 pm

    Once, I was “CNN’s Waldo Jaquith.”
    I was 16 years old, and I had weaseled my way into DJing for the major radio station in Charlottesville, Virginia. (I had a great resume that did not, of course, disclose my young age.) They hired me based on demos and my resume, and were stuck with me by the time that they actually met me.) I worked the morning shift on weekends, usually from 8am-2pm.
    One morning, I arrived at work to find in the daily paper that there had been a horrible accident at a nearby speedway the previous night. A car had launched off of the racetrack and into the audience, killing several people. A wheel flew off and decapitated one person. It was really quite gruesome. Just a few minutes after I settled into the morning, shift, the studio line rang. It was CNN, wanting me to file a report.
    Now, this was a rock station. “The Best of the 70s, 80s, and 90s” kind of a deal, focusing on, at the time, endless replays of “Black Hole Sun” interspersed with “Hotel California.” They didn’t even carry a CNN news feed. (Or any news, for that matter.) I assume that they called a Charlottesville station because it was (relatively) close to the scene, and this way CNN could have a man on the scene, as it were. Not wanting to pass up a pretty cool opportunity, though, I readily agreed. The CNN rep said that he’d call me back in 10 minutes, and that I could file the story over the phone.
    The next 10 minutes was a picture of incompetence. I had no idea of what I was doing. Somehow, I established for myself a thirty second limit for the story, set up a story pyramid like I learned in English class in middle school, wrote it out, and read it through a couple of times. All too soon, the phone rang again. Without any pomp, I was told to file my story, and to pause for a couple of seconds when I was finished.
    I read through my story flawlessly, much to my surprise. (If I said anything like “presupposition,” I simply failed to notice it.) When reading the final sentence, I realized that I needed a tagline, and, on the fly, I finished up with “For CNN, this is Waldo Jaquith with W—, in Charlottesville, Virginia.” The producer said that they’d run the story within a few minutes, thanked me, and that was that.
    I never did hear my story. But that was the time that I was a reporter for CNN.
    On another occasion, a few months previously, I saved the life of then-Vice President Al Gore. But that’s a story for another day.

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    4 November, 2004 at 4:50 pm

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