can’t see useless

It’s an opressively hot October afternoon. I have the worst writer’s block of my life. I can write a few words together, I can create one or two images, but I can’t connect them. I want to tell the story of the young girl who sees the carnival come to her small town, the girl who is just 18, and aware of her power over men, the girl who tries to use this power on a young ride operator so she can escape her small town. The girl who has her power turned back on her and ends the story crying in an empty field surrounded by torn tickets and cigarette butts.
I want to tell the story of the powerless man who watches his wife cry herself to sleep at night. The man who can’t provide for his family, the man who can’t protect them from the Bogeyman. The man who wanders his empty house at night, looking for the joy he knows once lived there. The man who waits for exhaustion to claim him in the deep of night, and give him a brief reprieve from his sadness.
The stories sit cross a river of doubt and frustration, and the ferryman demands a payment I don’t have. I decide to walk down the shore, in search of a bridge.
I find myself in Old Town Pasadena, in front of Hooters, where this whole journey began. Maybe my muse is inside.
I walk in and find the place filled with middle-aged businessmen who drink beer and leer at the young waitresses over fish sandwiches. A young girl with hair so bleached it looks like straw says, “Welcome to Hooters!”
“Can I get food at the bar?” I ask.
“Of course!”
“Thanks,” I say, and take a seat.
The waitress working the bar appears to be about the same age as me, in stark contrast to the other girls who look like they’re all in their early 20s. There are heavy bags beneath her tired and sad eyes.
“What can I get you?” she asks.
“A Guinness and a cheeseburger,” I say.
She turns, and pours me a pint. It’s still settling when she puts it in front of me.
“Not many people drink Guinness in the middle of the day,” she says.
“Is that a fact?” I say. In my mind I’m Sam Spade or Phillip Marlowe, and I’m in a 1920s Hollywood speakeasy.
“It is,” she says, “I think this is the only pint I’ve poured all day.
“Well, I don’t like to drink beer I can see through,” I say, as I lift the now-settled glass to my lips.
Her laugh doesn’t make it to her eyes, but it’s still friendly. I find a kindred spirit in her sadness. We’re both in a place we didn’t expect to be. I bet I’m the first guy she’s waited on all day who hasn’t stared at her skimpy outfit while talking to her.
“Hey, honey, can we get another pitcher of Bud over here?” calls a guy in a George Zimmer signature suit at the corner of the bar. His tie is loose and he bounces his leg on the rail. It shakes under my foot. I don’t like that at all.
I look around the restaurant. I’ve never seen it this full during the day. John Fogerty tells me that there’s a bad moon on the rise.
“Sure,” she says, and walks down to the taps.
Two young girls turn heads as they walk in and sit at a table behind me. “Oh my god! Your eyebrows look so great!” the tall one says.
“Don’t they? I totally had them tattoo’d on,” she says.
I tune them out and count the rings down my glass: one . . . two . . . three.
Four.
I look down the bar and see Men’s Wearhouse and his business partners putting their best midlife crisis moves on the waitress — my waitress. Brown Suit stares at her chest while Blue Suit flashes a capped smile at her. She giggles and fusses with her hair, and fills their glasses.
“Hurry back!” Brown Suit says, as she walks back up the bar.
Five. I stare at the top of my beer. It looks like clouds over a black sky.
“So what do you do?” she asks.
” . . . I guess I’m a writer.”
“You guess you are, or you are?”
“I am. I’m blocked today.”
“By what?”
“The Bogeyman.”
“What’s that?”
“A convenient literary metaphor.”
“You are a writer.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Have you written anything I’ve read?” she asks. A loaded question.
“Probably not,” I say, “I wrote one, and the people who read it seem to like it, and I’m working on another one.”
“But you’re blocked today,” she says.
“Yeah. This place is sort of involved in my career choice, so I thought I’d come here and try to break the block.”
“How’s that working out for you?” she asks. A flicker of mirth passes her eyes.
“Well, at the very least, I’ll get a Guinness out of the deal.”

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197 thoughts on “can’t see useless”

  1. I find stress blocks my creativity stronger than anything. It looks like lunch at Hooter’s eliminated yours. You’re on the right track now. Keep going!
    🙂
    Scott

  2. I find stress blocks my creativity stronger than anything. It looks like lunch at Hooter’s eliminated yours. You’re on the right track now. Keep going!
    🙂
    Scott

  3. I find writing is like giving birth sometimes. Sometimes the baby doesn’t want to come cos it’s not ready yet. Sometimes it doesn’t want to come cos the mother is afraid to do it… cos it may not look as nice as her first kid…
    yeah, gosh, I know that metaphor’s just wrong, somehow.
    Nevermind…

  7. Hey Wil,
    Our local soccer team manager was interviewed for BBC Radio here recently, and said that the sign of a good team was when they do not play well, but they keeping winning matches anyway…..
    Well, if you call that entry “writers block”, then I say, bring it on! Totally awesome! Compelling, moving, it has everything that good writing should have in my view.
    So, if the stories won’t come, publish that blog entry as is – I’ll buy it!
    You still rock, Wil.
    CM

  8. Wil,
    You and I are worlds apart on political leanings and career choices, but In my “expert” opinion this entry is by far an example of your best writing. As a critic, I might even say the past two submissions where purposely placed to attract comments and give you an ego boost. You have a god given talent and as I have witnessed for years now you really can use it well.
    Regards,

  9. First-Time Poster.
    Thank you for continually sharing your thoughts with us. I visit this site as often as AintItCoolNews and Google. (It’s part of my daily routine)
    So many wonderful things have already been said and I don’t want to be repetitive, but who doesn’t appreciate overhwelming priase.
    Through your writing, your honesty and your enthusiasm for life, you inspire people.
    You inspire people to pursue their ambitions.
    You inspire people to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
    You inspire people to discover and unleash their inner creativity.
    I enjoy reading your ramblings and thoughtful reflections.
    [geekmode]
    Perhaps one day you may consider writing soft porn with a gentle and sensitive sensibility. Lots of money to be made in the porn biz.[/geekmode]
    Wishing you success in all of your endeavors,
    Haasim

  10. Writers Block.
    1. Just write anything Wil. Exercise that writing muscle.
    2. It may be that it’s not the writing which is the problem, but the stories themselves. If you can’t finish the stories, then maybe it is because the stories don’t like the direction they’re going in.
    3. procrastination is your enemy. If you’re blocked, and you do something enjoyable then you are training your brain to enforce that writers block.
    4. Stream of conciousness writing can be good for breaking writers block. Even if all you’re streaming out is “All Work and No Play…” over, and over, then at least you’re writing.

  12. Wil,
    Now see, THAT was a cool little story! Even if you’re just writing about having writers’ block, it was a really enjoyable read from where I sit.
    Congrats! So do some more exercises like that! I love the old hardboiled detective patter and the noir-ish style.
    Keep it up, you’re doing fine!
    Chris

  13. It may be that I’ve just been reading ‘The Gunslinger’ recently but you’re sounding a bit Stephen Kingish. Not that that’s a bad thing.
    :-{)}

  16. As the saying goes, when in doubt, write! Writing about writers block is the best way to get your thoughts out, and it can be as great a story as the story itself.. You are very gifted with words, and you seemed to have found your muse.. It happens to be the same as mine at times.. After reading your first post about not getting words out on paper, I was thinking about my own writers block, and how, if I were in Ireland, I could go to a pub with my journal and a Guinness, and either be inspired, or just look like I were a writer. 🙂
    I have been reading everyones comments here, and gained alot of insightful and wonderful advice as well! Thanks!

  17. I’m sure you know this, but regardless of the fine drinks and cunning atmosphere at hooters, you won’t find your muse there. you haven’t lost it, because your muse is you.
    often we are standing in front of or directly on the bridge we seek so desperately, a la “wizard of oz”. you don’t need ruby slippers to find your way home.
    yeah, a block feels very real, but you are only blocked from piecing together a particular puzzle, not (obviously) from being able to connect at all. I have been where you are. hell, maybe I still am.
    by the way, I would pay to read what you write on WWdN, so give up the ghost.
    good luck. hope you enjoy *tough love* from a total stranger.

  18. After reading your blog, it doesn’t look like there’s much writer’s block.
    I do agree with some of the comments though: you have what you want to write, but too many thoughts are coming to you all at once.
    Maybe keep a tape recorder with you to record a random thought or idea you might want to use for a story.
    Another thing you could possibly do is create a blurt essay–write/type everything that’s on your mind (don’t worry about punctuations or grammar), then read it over, and see if there are any potential storylines floating around in the blurt.
    Good luck, Wil. I hope the writer’s block goes away soon.

  19. I could actually see Uncle Willie sitting at the bar with Blue suit and Brown suit at the other end. Blocked? I’ll buy it. Unable to write? The blog says otherwise. Keep up the good work Uncle Willie. I just might have to go out and find me a copy of dancing barefoot.

  23. Well, if you can’t write your desired stories, you seem able to write other stuff pretty damn well!
    A great story….so, did little willy nail the waitress to relieve his block?

  26. Wil,
    Your blogging continues to show you’ve got the stuff.
    Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and the words will come.
    Sending you some writing mojo

  27. Roger Zelazny once said he never really had writer’s block. He said he always tried to write three sentences a day. Mostly, one of those sentences would trigger something, and he’d go on and write paragraphs, pages. But he could always get out those three sentences.
    Just keep writing. Three sentences. Three sentences a day. You can do it. And maybe, one of those times, you’ll find something more you can keep on writing about.

  29. Hey Wil — I just finished typing up my notes from a brainstorming workshop I took this weekend. Maybe some of these ideas can kick-start something for you:
    1. Reverse the premise: go in the opposite direction of your initial idea. It’s more difficult to make it work out, but it’s much more interesting. Complications make for subplots, plot layers, and multidimensional characters.
    2. Go for gut emotional appeal: what in your premise generates emotional response? Find it and heighten it.
    3. Combine two or more premises for ideas with deeper depth and scope.
    4. Chuck your first choices: they’re the safest, most expected choices, the ideas we think will be the most accepted. Instead, keep building, expanding, pushing, throwing out new and different ideas. Explore and stretch.
    5. Brainstorm in a group whenever possible — bounce ideas off each other, the crazier the better.
    Last of all (and this is just a personal observation from a member of the Million Words of Shit Club): don’t sweat it. The story is kicking around in your head right now, even if it isn’t coming out. When it’s done, it’ll come.
    Jena

  30. I’m no literary critic (or English major for that matter, obviously), but a writing coach once told me and I’m sure millions of others “Write what you know”.
    Well, having just read what you posted, i.e. “what you know”, I think I can say you are not blocked and not untalented. Enjoy the double negative.
    From one long suffering Cubs fan to another…

  31. —
    **
    The description of those George Zimmerman (Midlife Crisis Collection) group of businessmen is probably one of the main reasons your waitress looked like she wanted to be somewhere else.
    Both you and her had a lot in common at that moment. She wanted to be anywhere but at Hooters that day, and you wanted to be anywhere but near a river without bridges, standing in the way of you and your thoughts.
    Sometimes, a block is a cloud with a silver lining, Wil. In a work as personal as Jag appears to be, finding the right words takes time, and until those words have been found, they’re not ready to be written.
    As do the waitress’s weary eyes hold a purpose for her, this brief writer’s block you’re going through does so for you.
    She will, one day, get fed up with the George Zimmermans and pursue a calling that she knows is waiting for her. Her answer is likely around the corner.
    Try not to force expression. It’ll come without expectation and when it arrives, that’s when it will likely be perfect.
    Eric B
    **
    —

  32. Blocked? feh!
    That was beautiful. I love how you describe the little details that make me feel like I am right there with you…
    The boogeyman will go away, just give him time. He won’t be forced out.

  33. Definitely enjoying your writer’s block!
    I don’t write but I draw, and have found Image Streaming [Google it] helpful whenever I can’t get past the white.

  34. Dude,
    Cheer up. Quit trying so hard, you’re depressing yourself. Seriously. 😉
    You’re frustrated and depressed because you’re having a hard time writing about characters that are frustrated and depressed so you are overanalyzing yourself in an attempt to better identify with the frustrated and depressed.
    I mean – how “tormented writer cliche” is that?
    😉
    Go do something mindless for a little while. Torment the yard you are so fond of, play some video games, kill some (more) brain cells. Watch SpikeTV and attempt to find a show you haven’t appeared in!
    🙂
    Can’t place a semicolon to save his life,
    MO’B

  35. I read your blog from time to time. I’ve always thought it was a fun distraction. I never really considered buying your book (no offense), I just never really thought about it.
    However, reading this last entry really impressed me. I’m going to order your book today. Good Job!
    Oh and where can you get a good draw of Murphy’s in Old Town?

  36. that was some seriously good writing right there. Don’t give up, from this post it looks like it’s itching to get out.
    And hey, you got a Guinness out of the deal. Sounds good by me. 🙂

  37. Just wanted to say that this is my first comment on your website and I am a fan of both your blog and the actor. I just wanted to say that the second idea of the man in despair took me to a hauntingly familar place. I was contemplating buying your book and now I think I’ll buy it. Hope you get over the writers block i would love to see how both stories develop.

  38. Wil, you did it this time. You think you can’t write… and by writing about your problem you have disproved the statement you made earlier.
    This little piece of text gave me a feeling of “Noir” as in “Film Noir” and sucked me for the time of the read into your story.
    Your story did floor me… THANKS

  39. If this is what you’re like when you’re blocked, I’d love to see what you’re like when you’ve got the runs. Um, that didn’t come out right. What I really want to say is that I think that was some beautiful writing; thanks for sharing it with the world. All the best to you and yours.

  40. A friend of mind received some good advice from a college writing professor. The advice was, if you are suffering from writter’s block the best thing to do was write anything. The goal isn’t to be quality, but quantity. The act of writing in itself will help get ride of block. You will most likely write a ton of crap, but that doesn’t matter. I find this tends to work well for me. It’s a lot easier to rework something that exist, than to create perfection, from nothing. My two cents. Plus, I wish my crap was as good as your’s. 🙂

  41. Nice one, Wil.
    But why do I get the feeling that you posted this because you were procrastinating? 😛
    (Maybe not.)
    Well written. I liked. Bring ’em on.

  42. hey wil, those stories sound great. not being a write myself, it is very easy for me say, hey just get on with it, but then i realise just HOW easy it is for me to say. So, all i can do, is send you some happy mojo, and hope that your block decides to give up and run away!!!
    and as most people seem to agree…your writing is spectacular..i really was in Hooters with you…i could even smell the guiness!!
    good luck Uncle Willie…
    love
    rach

  45. You certainly bring the little moments alive. You seem to have a gift for that. And for writing when you have writer’s block. 🙂
    As a random aside, the story of the young girl and the carnival put a song in my head…
    “Baby cried the day the circus came to town…”

  46. Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and support.
    My first thought when I finished writing that was, “Man, I like that.” Then I thought, “I fucking cheated. I should be working on other stuff.”
    Then I felt like I was going ot cry, but I didn’t know why. I didn’t know if it was pride, frustration, relief, of an overwhelming combination of all three.
    Something that’s interesting to me: it took me exactly one revolution of “Boingo” to write that. I started with “Insanity” and wrote the last word as “Change” was ending.
    Weird.

  47. That has to be the most brilliant writing about not-being-able-to-write that I’ve ever seen. Wil, you painted the image perfectly. I could see the restaurant…the diners…the Guiness… everything.
    You may have a block on those stories, but your creativity is overflowing. Bravo! 😀
    TonyInCalgary
    aka
    CK

  48. That, Uncle Willy, was the most powerful piece of “blocked” writing I’ve ever read. Someone once told me, “A writer writes”. You may not be writing what you think you should be writing, but what you are writing is damn good. Reading your post was like being there while it happened. Just sit down and write everything that comes in to your head, I believe my English professor called it brain storming. Eventually, your story will come out. Good luck!

  49. Fabulous… I’ve been reading your blog for over a year, and I am not sure “blog” is an adequate term to describe this site – it’s not “a” ‘blog; it’s “THE” ‘blog! Wonderful writing!!!

  50. I just found a link to your site the other day and decided to check it out. I read todays posting and was taken back. That was some of the best writing I have ever read. You got me hooked. Have you ever published anything yet? Seriously, I would like read it.

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