122 thoughts on “skylarking”

1. Great post Wil. I was the shy outcast at my school (or that is at least what it felt like)! I always wanted to go to a private school or a a school for the creative and performing arts. There was one right next door to my school and those kids always seemed to be having fun. I never went to a private school, but I survived all the same. I did however become more outgoing in college, or maybe it was just that folks were more accepting of who I truly was. I have no regrets, I am the person I am today because of my journey so far. I think that is amazing that your son said he loved you and is in high school, cherish that Wil, alot of parents don’t hear that.

2. The song brings back so many of high school for me too…awkward,angsty,angry…agnostic.
   My son is about the same age as Ryna nad I recently played that song for him. He’s taken a liking to XTC. It’s good to know the kid doesn’t see it as fuddy,duddy music like I did my mom’s music.
   Nice story. Thanks for sharing 🙂

3. Dig the story, but I think you romanticize something you never had a chance (thankfully) to experience.
   The same guy who designed our prisons also designed our school system. This is a sad, and very true, fact.
   My school years were tormented, awful, stupid experiences filled with hateful, scared, and ignorant peers.
   I agree that he shouldn’t waste them, I wish I could say the same. But don’t throw it out of proportion, high school is still just a stepping stone before getting out into the Real World ™.

4. A very touching story from Uncle Willie! It made me smile during my break at work and made an otherwise exhausting day a little better.
   Yeah, high school rocks and sucks in equal amounts. It’s one of the most turbulent parts of your life, and nobody makes it through unscathed. I think it’s not uncommon to feel very conflicted about it. I hated almost every day of it, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I miss it a lot, but I would never want to relive it.
   I learned more about myself and the world in high school than in any other period in my life, at least up until I started my journal a year and a half ago.
   Thinking back to my high school days, I think the people I actually miss the most are my teachers. I want to go back and visit all of them and apologize to half of them and thank the other half for everything they tried to teach me. Especially my English teacher in my senior year. I have a feeling if I saw her tomorrow, we would smile the same secret smile, with eyes filled with pain and laughter, and nod at each other, and go our separate ways. My smile would say “everything you ever told me was right”, and hers would say “I forgive you for not believing any of it”.
   I was going to wait until my ten year reunion to visit my old teachers, but suddenly I am of a mind to do it sooner…

5. That was a “really” nice post! I hope it’s 4 really good years.
   I always liked that XTC song, as I can releate the angst, but never agreed with the lyrics (god gave us free will, and all that).

6. Great writing, Wil. You know what to say (how to say it) and what not to say. If you never acted, I’m sure you’d have become a writer any way.
   Have you got any interesting stories of teachers/tutors you had on set?

7. That is a great story. 🙂 I was a shy kid myself and people always used to think that I was full of myself as well. I believe that with time you would’ve made friends, but you had to do what you wanted to do to make you happy. I commend you on that. You gotta put yourself first- at least sometimes. Let me just say that you are TRULY an inspiration, and I can’t wait to get your book in the mail! 🙂
   Take Care and ALWAYS Keep it Real!
   *Melinda*

8. I got lucky. My junior high school experience was much like yours was in high school (except for the whole fame part). But after that, I was lucky enough to end up in a school that largely consisted to social rejects and nerds like myself, and it turned into one of the more rewarding experiences of my life.

9. I just graduated high school and I’ll admit that the first two years – for anybody – i think are the hardest. Not only because you’re new into high school but because you still have the MAJOR intimidation from the juniors and seniors hovering over you. I wouldn’t trade my senior year for anything though. Prom and this past summer were everything they’re typically supposed to be for me and its sad that some people don’t get to experience it. “People” always say that if you don’t go to the Prom you’ll regret it and i never really understood why…until i went and finally, i understand.
   Great story, Wil. I’m sure Ryan will ease into high school no problem, but if not, just be there for him to vent to because i know that all i ever wanted was someone just to listen.

10. Wil…thanks for being there for Ryan. The rewards for that will last a lifetime.
    Rick

11. I’m glad you put the comments back up Wil. That was a very touching story. It is great that you have such a great relationship with Ryan. My high school experience was pretty awful but so were most of my friend’s so I figured it was suppose to be that way. Take care.
    ~Phemi

12. That’s a great story. However, high school really bites for me. If someone told me four years ago how much I would have to work my rump 24/7 during the “best years of my life”, then I certainly wouldn’t be too worried about wasting them. Sorry for the negativity, but Ryan has some really hard times ahead of him. Make sure you are there for him and best of luck to you both.

13. I wish when I was younger that someone had given me the same kind of advice. Not that I didn’t have some great moment, but I’m sure if someone had told me to make the best of it I might not have been so shy myself. I often wish I could go back, for just a week, as the new much more confident me that I am now.
    Thanks for sharing the story. And thanks for having such wonderful advice.
    P.S. I’m glad to see comments up again too.

14. I was one of those odd kids who was shy but in excellerated classes so could talk about stuff I knew with those kids. I had an odd but full of fun group of friends during high school in a public school. I was “boy crazy” and managed to date a senior all three years (we had middle school or junior high for grades 7-9).
    I lucked out and got to be a gym leader, though was too gynastics challenged to ever be a cheerleader. I got to work at most of the games and dances helping or, in later years, running the coat check room for the student council. I was also a member of the commercial art class for all three years and had a ball doing banners and stuff for the whole school. Then there was the fun of doing the morning radio announcements which got me out of homeroom. (I hated homeroom).
    All in all the experience was pretty good considering I loved to dance and got to go to all of the school dances for free, as well as something like five proms because I dated a senior all three years. That was the fun part.
    Because I had parents who were both loving and strict, there were lots of family rules to be obeyed. One of them was that I didn’t get to “play” or go to any non-school activities until and unless my homework was done and I maintained at least a B in every subject. Football games were usually included in the list of activities that were non-essential to my well being if my homework was not done. I didn’t get to as many games as I would have liked.
    College was a rather rude awakening for me. I was far from home for my freshman year, but managed to find some good friends anyway. My sophmore year was a nightmare as I changed schools from a rather small liberal arts college to a mega school, a state university. By the end of that year I was both married and pregnant.
    Having children that young, at nineteen, made me accutely aware of the need for parents to be honest with their children. I knew that my husband and I would make mistakes along the way. One of them, I vowed, would not be appearing too perfect to our children so that they might think that they could never live up to our expectations.
    This is my first visit to your site and I think that your post was not only sweet, but also inciteful. It seems to have helped a lot of people too. Thank you for sharing.

15. Check out that link! It seems Miss Margaret Cho *also* quoted “Dear God” by XTC in her daily blog today. Methinks perhaps Wil Wheaton and Margaret Cho are the same person! Have YOU ever seen them in the same place at the same time?
    >:)
    EB

16. Wil, I can’t remember how I came across your site…it was just recently. The first blog I read was about the day you were at Hooters and the waitress asked if you “used to be an actor”. I’ve been hooked daily since I’ve read that post. You are truly a gifted writer (and actor!!!!…..I still remember sitting in that theater watching Stand By Me with all my girlfriends…saying who is this kid?)….but…your writing is amazing. And this story really touched my heart.
    It amazes me that you take the time to connect with everyone out here and share all of these moments of your life with everyone.
    What a welcome relief to come to your site and read your blogs. Keep up with your writing, you are gifted!! Keep smiling…..Shannon

17. Nice one Wil. You and Ryan seem to have such a fantastic relationship, much better than a lot of people have with their biological kids. You’re damn lucky Wil. You sound like you really have it all.

18. That was SO touching, Wil!

19. That was SO touching, Wil!

20. yay for comments! i don’t understand why you’d have trolls. i guess they just want to chuck stones. anyway…
    this post was awesome. you have a great family relationship. also, i think a lot of kids felt the same way in highschool, but for different reasons. i know i did; but i made friends anyway. s’the great thing about kids. they’re resiliant.
    damn; look at me. i’m only 21 and already calling highschoolers kids. i really think i’m just a kid, but feel much older. 🙁 i’m happy, though.
    and about the not wasting the years… i think they happen how they happen. perhaps i wasted mine, but i think they turned out ok. (i ended up dropping out and getting my ged anyway.) things happen as they happen. kids will be kids. but sometimes you get good opportunties, and memories.
    later, will.

21. congrats! If he’s talking to you like that, you are becoming a trusted authority figure in his life. I’m glad you were real with him.

22. I’ve just started a British college, which is sort of the same as Anerican High School, and I can relate to how you felt during you semster at High School. It’s really hard to make friends, especially when you’re different from everyone else. But I had a lot of people tell me how much they enjoyed it and how it was a time that shouldn’t be wasted, and they’re right. I’m sure that what you told Ryan is going to make a big difference to how he treats school, and it’s going to be for the better. You are a really good parent.

23. I love your honesty with your boys. When I was growing up, it used to really bug me how, all the adults never understood mistakes.
    Now I’m the parent, and tell them what I thought and felt, and did. Why lie, they are going to find out anyway.
    It is in simple conversations like that one, that relationships are built. Being able to have those, makes the joy in parenting more complete.
    Thank you so much for all the sharing you do.

24. That was SO touching, Wil!

25. That was SO touching, Wil!

26. That was SO touching, Wil!

27. there is a very thin line between enjoying your life in high school…or being totally miserable…if i had stayed in the background i wouldn’t have been happy at all…but i got involved with many of the activities available…sports…plays and musicals…chorus…even student council…and being class vice president…i was…and still am a very shy guy among people i don’t know well…being out front where the action was gave me a chance to let them get to know me first…without me stumbling over the words trying to introduce myself…and it worked…people came to think they knew me better than they did…and became my friends…most of them never knowing how clueless i was at the start…i hope ryan gets involved with alot of school activities…it really does help make high school a good place to be.

28. i meant to add that all of the great stuff i got to do in high school would have been hard for you…because you were a famous actor…and people were already super jealous of you…or they thought you should be able to walk on water…too bad for them…and sad for you…they never got to make friends with wil wheaton…the human being.

29. Thanks for sharing, Wil. You’re too cool for… well, everything. 🙂 I hope when I finally have kids that I have as good a relationship with them as you have with the boys.

30. You know, it was more from reading the comments than your original post (although I love ‘dear God’). that I’m reminded of my first life lesson from someone my own age. We’re all familiar with parents, teachers etc. who are role models. People we look back at and are thankful for. People who had a wisdom that touched us. Well, in high school, I found one of those people in a fellow student.
    A lot of high school is filled with cliques (and we don’t pronounce that kliks in Canada, it’s cleeks. :). You’ve got your various groups that spend a lot of time making fun of outsiders, or other groups. In general, I think kids protect themselves by slagging others. High school amplifies that mechanism. I never knew there was another way, until I sat down with a different clique one day.
    I knew a couple of people from this other group. I’ll confess my main reason for sitting down with them was Tina. Oooh Tina! She was the total package. Brains, kind, sense of humour, and killer diller looks. Most cliques had a ritual. We’d sit in the cafeteria, and as people walked in, they would get a critique. We’d make fun of this guy because he was balding, or that girl because she had acne. You get the picture. This other clique wasn’t into that. And there was this one particular guy who was their silent leader. He set the tone. I don’t remember his name. And I only spoke with him on the one occasion, but he had an impact on me. I consider him to be one of those wise people that I look up to, and have taken guidance from. I think he was a year younger than I was.
    When I foolishly opened my mouth once or twice to make my negative comments about he the ‘walk-ins’, he turned to me and asked me some questions. He never came down on me, or said I was being too negative or any of that. He just asked me questions. “Do you know him?”, “Is he in your class?”, “Why does he limp? Did he have an accient?” Just innocent questions that made think about the person I was slagging. When you force someone to keep talking, they’ll shove their foot deeper into their mouth. Eventually, they choke on it. After I was finished choking, and began to see the walk-in as a human being instead of an outsider, then he had something to say. He spoke with compassion, intelligence, confidence. He never directed anything he said at me, but he showed me by example how we can really look at others and see the best in them. He made it clear that thinking of these walk-ins as members of your family, and giving them that kind of respect didn’t make you weak, it showed you were strong.
    That was the very first day in my life that I truly saw everyone in the world as equals. That was the day I learned that I shouldn’t compare my ‘insides’ with other people’s ‘outsides’. If I didn’t go to high school, I don’t know when I would have learned that lesson. The rich tapestry of high school life has a lot to offer, but you have to sit a different tables to find it.

31. I read your blog everyday and I must say, you are a great writer and an awesome Step-Dad!
    You have one hell of a fine family! Nice to see that their are real caring parents out there.

32. It’s *so* heartening to know there are still parents out there who are really talking to their kids, and especially so considering he’s not your “own flesh and blood”.
    I’m proud to say my parents are the same way, although they only really started being open with me when I was 18. I feel I missed out on a lot of talking time as a kid, but then I don’t suppose I would have been as appreciative as Ryan.
    You’ve got a great family…look after them. And thanks for sharing!
    Ps. Let me add my w00ts to the cheers that the comments are back up!

33. Superb advice to your young stepson, Wil.
    Oh, and with regards to the lyrics and gist of the XTC song….reminds me of the quote in the remake of ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’…..”I don’t believe in God!”….”That’s OK…He believes in you.”
    Isn’t it sad that we puny humans think we can take the Creator of the Universe and put him in a little box so we can arrogantly think we comprehend him…or worse, blame him for our own stupidity?
    Peace!
    –Slipstream

34. that’s such a touching story! especially when it comes to that album. i know i don’t know you, but i feel like i do because of this post. this album has a special memory for me as well – my best friend who passed away 2 years ago, that was his favorite band/album. i acutally listened to it repeatedly when i was writing my eulogy for him. the album to me reminds me of a summer’s day. So to think of it in response to your son’s first day, a brand new experience, and that song in general, i find it amazing. like there is something more to this than we know. its so nice to have a special song or album to associate with a huge milestone in your life. thank you for all the times you’ve shared your wonderful experiences with us. i look forward to having kids someday because of what you share about your kids. 🙂 and ps – xtc rules! 🙂

35. It’s irrational sentimentality like this that just perpetuates destructive compulsory schooling.
    Unfortunatley most parents as well as teachers attended the same institutions they send their kids to now, so it’s not like they know any better alternatives.
    Forced government schooling does to education what mandatory churches would do to religion – it completely repulses them to the idea of education for the rest of their life.

36. If you weren’t an actor, Wil, it would have been easier on you. Also, the type of public school would make a difference. In a small community, a public school can be quite nice. I’m sorry that your experiences were bad.

37. I attended Wil’s high school after he had already left. Most stories I’d heard were that he was arrogant. Some said he was just a weird loner (for example, someone said he wrote something like “Don’t eat any fish” in their yearbook.). Highschoolers are hormonally poisoned and insecure. Putting down a successful kid made them feel better. “A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country.”
    I’m glad Wil is finding success in his life, though that success may not be material.

38. This is so god-damn touching! I am in high school and I never talk to my parents that way, you must be a great dad Wil Wheaton.

39. Well-spoken, Slipstream!! Out of the 85 posts before me, you are the only to actually speak wisely about God! I know most of the posts were about Wil and not actually religion, but I have huge respect for someone that can come out of the woodwork to speak what they believe contrary to the others. I don’t like that song by XTC, nor do I respect what it stands for- thank you for speaking up!!

40. Hi Wil – It’s so great to see the comments are back – I must have been under a rock or something, it took me until today (Saturday) to realize they were even back on….v. nice story about high school. It must have been very different for you. Well, hey, I didn’t go to prom either, but it was because my best friend was gay and the jocks were planning to beat him up on grad night (here in Canada they tend to call it grad, not prom), so we went to a super fancy restaurant instead. That was okay, except it was my very first night taking my dad’s car out all night, and I hit a car….in a parking lot. Okay, okay, now that you have finished laughing….Anyway, just wanted to say, I have told some of my friends about your site and they are really interested in your stuff. I’m not surprised – you’re being honest, so of course it’s interesting. Best of luck with the high school age son, though – have none of my own, but have friends going through that right now. Apparently, it is ever so slightly harder with teenage daughters, so count your blessings, man…

41. I really liked your story. I think it is important to tell our kids what we were really like so that they know they are normal. We need to make sure that they know what we missed out on so that they don’t and what we did have that they probably won’t. It’s talks like the one you had that make bonds stronger with our kids, especially if everyone knows you face and name. It’s good that you let him know that even though you had a good time with Star Trek that there were things you missed out on.
    I think you’re doing a great job and your they’re lucky to have you.
    Diana

42. Great story Wil! I liked the story. Reading everyone’s post made me feel good. I had a terrible time in high school. I had to transfer in the middle of my freshman year in high school. I moved from a school with about 1500 students in it to a school with 250. I had only four or five friends where I moved to. It stunk being the new kid because I did not know how to act around them. I was an outsider where I moved from but I had more friends cause I grew up there. Thank you for sharing a great story. I like the advice you gave Ryan. If I was to change something I would try not to care what people thought of me.

43. Holy crap! Your writing skills are incredible. You ever want to collaberate on a book with me, just drop me a note. None of my associates are as enterprising.

44. 68.0.141.193

45. Comments! Great posts! Thank you, Wil.

46. I live in the US but grew up elsewhere. I never had prom or football games and I still haven’t figured out what homecoming is, but I enjoy the myths that seem to grow up around them.
    I had other things that I got to do, including some that were meant to be A Big Deal but turned out to be anticlimactic, so I might as well have had Prom and Football games and Homecoming…
    🙂
    PS Good writing today.

47. That was lovely. 🙂 I loved high school. I miss high school. 🙁

48. “Wow, did anyone else notice that Wil is a “Natalie”- magnet?
    Natalie H.
    Posted by Natalie at October 3, 2003 01:06 PM”
    Yeah what’s with that? 🙂

49. Uncle Willy,
    You seem like a really cool Dad. I hated High School myself. I always felt like I was a million miles away from everbody watching others through a high powered telescope. I didn”t make friends in High School. In fact, I can’t remember anyone I ever did anything with outside of school. I never went to prom, football games, or anything.
    And you know, what? Even in college not much has changed.
    I guess I will always be ME. Whatever that means. In fact, thats my life’s quest to answer that question. Who is Jason?
    I dunno.
    Jason

50. Slipstream got a post of support, so I’ll speak up in opposition. I find it tremendously arrogant that people look at what we humans have accomplished and think it’s so fabulous that it must have required divine help.
    No.
    We did it ourselves, and we’ve still got a long way to go.

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