175 thoughts on “grinding halt”

1. Today we found out that fellow actor Jonathan Brandis has died, possibly by suicide. I wanted to take this opportunity to recognize Wil and his ability to adapt and to change over the years; whatever may be his particular challenges and struggles in his life. Many actors, young and old fall by the wayside over the years as they deal with many different things in their life such as peer pressure, self-esteem and self worth. When Wil feels down and out or depressed he has this web site to post his feelings, worries or concerns. When he is happy and cheerful he shares that with us as well. Being so grounded must be a testament to the love and affection that he gets from his Mother & Father, Aunt Val, his Wife, Family and Friends, in addition to the support and friendship that all of his readers bestow on him and his work. I wonder if Wil would be a very different person if it were not for these people in his life and the fact that, on his web site, he is so open and forthcoming about his thoughts, feelings and concerns, on this day-to-day, week-by-week basis. Don’t Stop Wil, Don’t Stop Writing. Don’t Stop Dreaming. We need you and your words as much as you need us (readers). As human beings, we all need each other. Wil was, is and will continue to be a survivor. He Bends like the Willow Tree, he is stable, flexible and enduring. Is that why his mother calls him Willow?

2. I wondered if you’d heard about this. A few days ago I was convinced it was a hoax, there was a similar rumour way back. Apparently, not a hoax.
   I don’t want to speculate on how he felt at the time. Frankly, it’s none of my damn business. I do know it’s a bloody shame that his life ended like that.

3. i heard about this a day or so ago…terribly sad…i thought he had a pretty good character on that deepquest show…
   and the new project he was involved in was a starring role for him, with a cast that includes Martin Mull and Fred Willard (how cool is that?)
   anyhow, i think it’s a damn shame, and he will be missed…
   also glad you turned right, took the stairs and made the healthy choice wil..
   its a nice world, and infinitely nicer with you in it.
   cheers
   tyson

4. Funny thing, I saw this last night, and said to my wife Jennifer “I’m really glad this wasn’t Wil, I’m sure he felt like Jonathan at different times in his life.”
   Looking forward to the next book Wil!

5. definitely glad that we all have guardian angels such as our family and friends.

6. This really hit me hard. I liked him on SeaQuest DSV. He was much too young to die.

7. And we are glad you took the stairs…
   however I think you have one of those personalities that would have allowed you to survive that transition from childhood without becoming a drugged, drunken, suicidal wash-up either way you took.
   As they used to say, “keep it real,” – shoot, I don’t know, do they still say that?
   another obscure reference to 80’s music… you can’t pass it up can you? 😉

8. I must say that I was shocked to see that. He hadn’t been around much lately, but seemed to well-adjusted enough. I remember him first in The Stepfather (Wil wasn’t the only one to do an 80’s horror flick). Sad to see someone die so young. On a mostly unrelated note, I saw Corey Feldman on Howard Stern last night doing some sort of battle of the bands thing. Hilarity ensued and both he and Howard’s bands were godawful. Corey was singing some song about being a former child actor. Wil’s autobiographical fiction is better than Corey’s songwriting, that’s for sure.

9. I actually think it is a little presumptious to assume it has anything to do with having been a child actor, an actor, a struggling artist or what have you. Many people suffer who were never actors. We have no idea really to what demons haunted him.

10. yeah, I used to joke about Jonathan’s character on SeaQuest, but I always like him and his character…..he seemed like an actor who had a lot going for him, even after SeaQuest….and even if he didn’t….well, regardless, it’s sad when someone kills themself and sad when it’s someone so young. it also p*sses me off, because my cousin was 25 when he was killed and he had no choice in the matter. Jonathan had a choice, and he chose wrong, IMHO.

11. It is odd how people perceive things…
    I recognized the name Jonathan Brandis right away when I read the headlines on CNN, of course there was no photo so I had to google him. and I immediatly rememberd him for some of his work I had seen over the years.
    I find it odd though that some people would see this and think of Wil. I mean I know Wil as well as the next guy, we go way back… we are the same age, I watched his movies and telivision appearanes then lost track of him until I stumbled across WWDN…
    but after getting to know Wil, the real Wil, only from what he writes here for all to read and one personal email from him (I felt privlidged to receive – by the way) I was suprized that some people even Wil himself thought that if things were a little different that could have been our Wil.
    I dont think so personally.
    Again, I dont know Wil, but I think I can look back at some of Wil’s early career and see that Wil would have never ended up like Jonathan or some of the other people who fit the teen star profile.
    Even look at some of his co-stars from Stand By Me, Feldman and Phoneix are prime examples… Peers and really screwed up, Drugs and alcohol, rehab and death…
    Sometimes you have to cut your losses and walk away.
    in my mid – late 20’s I had a nice little government job in the field I had JUST finnished studying in college, and in the blink of an eye, governments changed and I was out on my ass!
    I had to Wait on tables for 2 years! and finally got into IT, and am Kinda working in my field and getting paid VERY well to write this for you’all 🙂
    But I liken that to what Wil is doing…
    Hell, if a great acting gig came up he would jump, but for now he is seeing what else he can do, he is paying the bills and has a great family from the sounds of it…
    Also, I think that is what Wils’ Father was so upset about… Pride yes, but relief that he and his mom had raised such a wonderful-level-well-adjusted Man… and that they dont have to worry about stuff like that with Wil, NOT “Phew it wasn’t our son”.
    I am very sorry for the family of Jonathan Brandis…
    But I never thought that would be our Wil, that I and many others like to think we know so well!
    (*disclaimer: I made alot of assumptions about Wil in this, in my mind they are right and on queue, but if I am wrong and Wil is not the person I perceive and like to think I know in some small way, I am sorry… very sorry in fact.)

12. Wow, I thought you mentioned at one time you were friends with him? My bad. Despite any correlations between parts played, you were two individuals with your own goals, ideas and personalities. It drives me nuts when people start comparing other actors to ones that have passed with comments like “it could have been him”. They really should give you a bit more credit.
    Kel

13. RE: Coulda been Wil
    I thought the same thing, actually. As a fan of your site and of “Dancing Barefoot” I’m certainly glad you took whichever directions you did.

14. I’m so sad! I really liked him, and was so excited when I saw him in Hart’s War. That’s just terrible this happened. Thank goodness you took the right turn in life, Wil.

15. I won’t presume to say that I know you well, but my perception based on my limited p.o.v. is that you aren’t and wouldn’t have been likely to go the way Jonathan Brandis did. While it’s clear that you’re prone to the same depressions and self-doubt as anyone, your writing shows what I perceive as a basic level-headedness and love of life. These, combined with your apparent sense of personal responsibility make the odds that you would suicide just about zero.
    I’m sorry he lost that battle, but it’s one you win every day, every time your wife and children look to you with love.
    Remember that, Mr. Wheaton: you’re a winner. You’re a success. You’re one of the cool kids.

16. I saw the news about J and thought of Wil right away. Not because I catagorized the two in the same place, but because I had to wonder what Wil thought when something like that happened. Wil went through a lot of what J went through and yet he is in a much better place now. (Or at least that is the appearance he gives in his writing) I wondered what Wil’s thoughts were from someone who had been there, but seems to have a better take on life itself. In response to another writer, we don’t know that the business was what caused the suicide, but come on, how often do we hear about things like this and it is blamed on the fact that the person could not make that child/adult actor transition? So Wil, in addition to millions of others, I am glad you went left instead of right and got on those stairs. I am sorry you ever had to feel the pain and the depression, I am glad that you have Anne and so many others in your life. I am sorry for anyone who feels that lost and alone and I hope that they can find just one glimmer of hope to keep them going that extra moment to get them to the next.

17. I think it’s so aweful that that happened. I’ve known too many people that have commited suicide, and it’s the most aweful thing to have to deal with. It always seems to me that the pain that anyone who commits suicide is dealing with must be enormous, and that simiply puts the value of life all that much higher in my opinion. Life may not always be the easiest or the most pleasant. But only the strongest make it to the top of the mountain so that they can come down again. I have the utmost respect for anyone who can live through the pain that almost everyone has to live through at one point or another in the course of their life. I know how aweful it is to have anyone you care about kill themself. I’m so glad we still have you though.

18. This news hit me really hard aswell. I can see your point on how similar you two were. When I told my friends & family about this the instant reaction I got was “Who?”. This upset me even more.
    I’m glad that there are people out there to remember him, and I’m glad there are people like you, Wil, who sympathise.
    It also makes me happy to tell others if they respond “Who?” to your name, that I can say you’re doing very well for yourself, instead of saying “That guy, from that show, back then”.

19. I don’t know if it’s been said but I think it’s presumuous to assume he killed himself because of Hollywood pressures (ala “I know how hard it is to make the transition from child to adult actor. I know how merciless Hollywood is. I know the pain, frustration, and depression that he must have felt.”)
    Maybe he was a loony? Maybe he was on drugs?
    Maybe a lot of things.

20. Wil,
    With all due respect…c’mon.
    There is no way that, as they say “there go I, but for the grace of God…” You are a fighter. You just have low self esteem. And you have always had hope in your life.
    You are close to your family. Many of us have little or no family left due to a million causes. You have, by all accounts had and kept some good friends over your lifetime. And even though you may have taken these things for granted at times, you have benefitted from the strength of those bonds, even when it may not have been apparent except within hindsight.
    You are blessed and talented and lucky. So let’s have no more of this gloomy talk.
    As for Jonathan Brandis, we can all give a moment of condolence to him because, for whatever reasons, he went into a dark place that he never got out of. But there is a difference between he and you by far.
    To be honest, I had no idea why people were comparing the two of you at all besides similar career paths.
    Just keep on doing what YOU have to do to get by. P.S. we’re obviously all behind you (as if that had to be said yet again- but Im sure its still nice to hear it!)

21. I still can’t believe it… and I am sadder about it than I expected. But then again, I never expected it. The worst is to think in how much pain he must have been to make a choice like that… and that he was alone with it…
    He was too young, and he just was… the wrong person…
    It just feels like it isn’t real…

22. 1) IMDb has it listed that he died on November 12th. Does anyone know why this is?
    2) What is it with the age 27 that so many actors/musicians die?

23. It was just 10 years ago when a Phoenix was lost(then by accident)but sad none the less.The important thing is when these things happen reflect and be greatful for the good these people have given to us all and strive to help others along their paths.-SR

24. I used to be a HUGE fan of Jonathan Brandis and watched SeaQuest just because he was on it. I still have all of the episodes on tape somewhere. This is really sad.

25. I don’t know why, but I feel vaguely guilty for plastering my bedroom with pullouts of him from those horrid pre-teen star mags. What a stigma to try and escape from.

26. I’m not sure why I’m posting this other than that I wished to express my sadness at hearing that Jonathan Brandis is gone, most like of his own will.
    Being a product of the 80’s, I grew up adoring those infamous blue eyes and that ruffled blonde hair. I had several posters and newspaper clippings of him taped to the walls of my bedroom.
    I will also admit that I watched the movies ‘LadyBugs’ and ‘Neverending Story II’ so many times that I later had to replace both VHS copies, not to mention that I recorded e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e episode of SeaQuest DSV when it first aired (and I’ve never been one prone to frequent recording of anything on TV.)
    I think a lot of young girls at the time were completely smitten with Jonathan, just like they were with Wil. Maybe none quite so much as me, but then again I have a very biased point of view in this matter. 😉
    It is a shame that Jonathan couldn’t find the strength to overcome whatever it was that drove him to taking his own life, but I will always remember him fondly for being a large part of my childhood fantasies (I STILL want to work on a D.S.V. *laughs*).
    One last thing: I’ve seen a lot of comments dismissing Wil’s statement about knowing how consuming the pressures of Hollywood can be and how they might lead some to thoughts of suicide.
    Hell, one doesn’t have to live or work in Hollywood to know that during times of extreme change or disappointment even the smallest of doubts can eat away at even the strongest of characters. While I won’t speculate on why Jonathan might have killed himself, I give credit to Wil for putting those feelings out there, even if not in his usually loquacious style.
    I too am glad that he stayed the course long enough to see himself through not only the rough spots of growing up, but the rough spots of growing up in, and out, of the Hollywood spotlight.
    He too has earned a special spot on my Life’s wall of memories, and every day that spot seems to glow more brightly.

27. I was horrified to learn this earlier this afternoon and yes my thoughts eventually strayed to “If only he had managed to hang like Wil has”.
    My own memorial to Jonathan: http://ponder.megalion.org/archives/individual/2003_11/000683.html

28. Until the toxicology reports are in, the final results of the autopsy, any assumption about why Jonathan apparently commited suicide is jumping the gun. It may very well have nothing to do with having been a child star, or the direction his life was going. Swirling around the rumor mill is that he was taking Accutane–a medication known to cause suicidal depression. Or it could have been the result of any number of other medications with similar side effects. Or maybe he was just fed up with other aspects of his life. In spite of what the Paul Petersons of the world would love everyone to think, it may have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with childhood stardom. Though it might be worse to think the poor guy was done in by an acne treatment…

29. RIP JB

30. I remember Jonathan as a very down-to-earth character, and even though talking to him dates back about 7 or 8 years, I’m not so convinced that his death has anything to do with him being a child actor and not being able to handle his vanishing fame. His best movies came after Seaquest, and he was GREAT on “Her last chance”… and he never really stopped working, either. There are other, more important things in life that can lead to the decision of comitting suicide. It’s a big loss and I don’t think we would honor him very much if we keept on speculating about it. Letting him rest in peace is the only thing we can do for him now, so let’s do that !

31. I dunno. I mean, I was in a band once and made a couple of records for RCA. Toured with some bigger names like Marilyn Manson, and had my mug in magazines like Rip and Hit Parader. Not even an Nth degree of what dudes like Wil have gone through, but it’s so damned unreal. Even worse, is when it’s over. When I read a soldier’s comments on returning home from Vietnam, and that sense of unbelonging they describe…I think I can understand that pretty well. And if I can, then I can also imagine what it would be like for someone like Jon Brandis. Or Wil. I tip my hat to Wil…and take it off for Jon.

32. Being a former “employee” of the industry, I know how mean and cut throat it can be. All industries have egos but the Entertainment Industry seems to attract more of them and they are worse. I know it is harder on the “above-the-line” people because perception plays a big part in it. (You haven’t worked in three years=you’re career is washed up) Since Jonathan Brandis started as a child actor, it was probably harder for him to adjust since “the industry” was his life and reality. A lot depends on the company that you keep. Are your friends and family grounded and keep you in reality? I’ve seen the alternative and it isn’t pretty and the results can be potentially devastating. That’s not to say that this is why Jonathan Brandis died. I’m talking about the industry in general.
    Rest in Peace, Jonathan Brandis. We’ll miss you!

33. Being a former “employee” of the industry, I know how mean and cut throat it can be. All industries have egos but the Entertainment Industry seems to attract more of them and they are worse. I know it is harder on the “above-the-line” people because perception plays a big part in it. (You haven’t worked in three years=you’re career is washed up) Since Jonathan Brandis started as a child actor, it was probably harder for him to adjust since “the industry” was his life and reality. A lot depends on the company that you keep. Are your friends and family grounded and keep you in reality? I’ve seen the alternative and it isn’t pretty and the results can be potentially devastating. That’s not to say that this is why Jonathan Brandis died. I’m talking about the industry in general.
    Rest in Peace, Jonathan Brandis. We’ll miss you!

34. I was madly in love with JB when I was in high school. My walls were covered with posters from those cheesy teen mags, I had every JB movie on video (still do somewhere), and I recorded every single episode of seaQuest DSV (they’re somewhere too). I was very upset to hear that JB has died, my prayers are with his parents and friends.

35. [url]http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,12971,00.html[/url]Just a sad loss. He was my age..though I am about two weeks older. He still had so much he could have contributed in this world.

36. oops try this link:
    http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,12971,00.html

37. Damn. About half my friends had crushes on him at one point or another. Thanks for letting us know – he’ll be missed.

38. I am deeply saddened by Jonathan’s death. A few days ago, I randomly started looking up websites for him. For absolutely no reason. Now I see why. As impossible as it sounds, some part of me knew he was dead. I know, I never met him. But he did touch my life. As you do too, Wil.

39. For all the people commenting that they don’t think he killed himself due to the pressure of his career: I read that his family said he was taking Accutane, which has been linked to depression and suicide. Of course, none of the mainstream news sources are reporting this, so take it with whatever grain of salt you will…

40. First it was Elliot Smith (did the music for Good Will Hunting among), now Jonathan Brandis. I had a HUGE crush on him back in the day. I loved Sea Quest (the first season). I always wished the writers of Star Trek could write Wesley as well as the character Lucas was written.
    I’m still in shock.

41. Wil, thank you for sharing your feeling and words about Jonathan Brandis, I somehow feel that he never knew his work made a difference in people’s lives, and just maybe if someone had told him of his worth, it might have turned out differently.
    I’m just glad we have the opportunity to tell you Wil, how much your words and acting mean to us.
    Keep on truckin!

42. Now I’m even more depressed. Toy Soldiers is now playing on Encore & I’m reminded of Shawn Phelan, who also died young. He didn’t kill himself, it was a car accident.

43. When I read the post today about Jonathan Brandis, I couldn’t believe it. I had to read it several times for it to sink in. What a truely tragic waste of a human life. How horrible it must have felt for him that the only way to end his suffering was to cease to exist. My thoughts go out to his family and friends. It struck me that the last time I felt this way about an actor’s death was when River Phoenix died, 10 years and not quite a month ago. I remember my college roomate and I talking about was how much we had loved watching his movies and how sad it was. Ironically, we watched Seaquest that night with Jonathan Brandis and wondered if he would be the next big thing. Unfortunately, he was not. How sad that he too will be known as one more child actor who tragically died too young. I’m glad that I stumbled onto the WWDN site and have gotten to “know” Wil through his writing (loved Dancing Barefoot by the way), much more so than when I used to watch him on TNG as a geeky teenager myself (only watched it because of him really). His honesty and humor have served him well in his varied career path, and with the support of friends and family, will help him cope with whatever life throws at him. In a way we’ve all grown up with him together and he makes all of us self proclaimed geeks proud. Wil, keep up the good work. We’ve come to expect great things from you.

44. I remember my best friend loved Seaquest and had the biggest crush on Jonathan Brandis. but Seaquest was on at the same time as Lois and Clark and my family just liked Superman much more. (that and I’ve always liked guys with dark hair. Jonathan Brandis was pretty good-looking for a blond guy, but…..no comparison to Dean Cain, even when I was 16!) I haven’t talked to my best friend from high school in a few years, I wonder how she’s taking this.
    All I can think is “there’s a new addition to the 27 club and it’s a shame.” We don’t even know if Brandis committed suicide for sure yet, but it’s probably that. He wasn’t on drugs, it appears and life wasn’t *that* bad. What a downer.

45. Apparently, Jonathan Brandis hung himself, if the report is at all true. More here: http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,12971,00.html

46. I have to admit I was also one of those people that had all the Bop and Big Bop pictures of Jonathan Brandis, Joey Lawrence, New Kids on the Block, River, and yes Wil even you on my wall. Now all those memories are safely packed away in a box in my garage. It’s very sad, I tuned into Seaquest everyweek and had every line in Ladybugs memorized and begged my mom to take me to the car show that Jonathan was at so I could get an autograph and picture. BUT beyond all that I think the really saddest part is that he was only 4 years older than I am. He was still in the prime of his life and it’s truly sad that he was in that deep dark place and he couldn’t get out of it. My heart goes out to his friends and family.
    Wil, I’m glad you chose the path you chose, the ‘road less traveled’ and it seems to have made all the difference. It’s too bad Jonathan wasn’t able to take the road less traveled. He was a talented young man who will be missed.

47. Wow… I think I had a major crush on him when I was in Elementary School. And he was my age too…
    That abyss of depression is such a dark one and it echos of all the negative thrown at the person in it. I can only imagine what it is like for someone who was ‘worshiped’ by peers during their formative years and then told they were ‘washed-up’ (The Rush song “Losing it” comes to mind.)
    It’s sad that we forget that, above and beyond the glitter and gold, we are all just human with a million and one ways to break.

48. I’m trying very hard not to write a post making comparsions between Lucas and Wesley. It just doesn’t feel right at this point.
    Smooth sailing for him, always.

49. It hurts my heart so much to think that someone can be so despondent that they think death is the only way out. No matter how bad things get, there are always people around you — even complete strangers — who care about you. I never knew Jonathan Brandis, nor was I a follower of his work, but he touched my life in an indirect way. I used to be a part of a group called “Best Buddies,” that was sort of like a big brother/big sister organization, but for children and teens with special needs. My “buddy” LOVED Jonathan Brandis. We used to go to a submarine-themed restaurant called “Dive!” and he would wear his “SeaQuest” hat and pretend he was Lucas. I had never seen him so happy as when he was doing this. I wish Jonathan could have known how much he meant to my friend.

50. I was reading and saw “Jonathon Brandis’s apparent suicicde” and thought, I never knew about it, thinking it was long ago. But I clicked on news, and read that it was November 12. I think it’s a terrible shame and it makes me sad to know that a person feels the only way out is death, as if it solves everything. But with death it ends all hope and opportunity that life offers. I watched his movies, and he was a good actor, and good looking, and 27. So young. So soon. It’s tragic. The best people seem to go so soon. (I didn’t know him, but sometimes you can tell right away if someone is genuine and a good person. I can’t tell you how sad I was when Aaliyah died. It was bizarre how much I cried. Imagine how the people who were close to her felt. And John Ritter. I watched Three’s Company for years and he always made me laugh no matter what was going on, and I still watch it. There was this article about him in a magizine that made me burst into tears. It gave details about how he died on his daughter’s 5th birthday and how excited he was to see her. Things like that can choke you up. The worste things happen to the best people.

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