Anne and I are having our house appraised later this week, so we’re working to clean things up, and plant areas of the yard that we’ve left alone for almost a year . . . I remember how great I felt when we finished our lawn almost a year ago, and the picking out and planting all sorts of plants today was just as good.
I love it that Anne and I do these things together, for each other. It’s corny, but I love being married to her more and more each day. I really believe that there’s nothing we can’t face together . . . and kick squarely in the nuts!
Thanks to her, we had an insanely productive holiday weekend, even though I was at LosCon on Friday and Saturday. The house looks incredible, and the yard is beautiful. I can’t wait to clean out and reorganize our garage!
Here’s a brief LosCon recap. It’s not the best written thing in the world, but I want to put the information down while it’s fresh in my mind. I’ll make this better some other time.
Overall, I had a very good time. The LosCon is not like the shows I’m used to attending. There isn’t much in the way of organized “entertainment” (like my sketch shows) or “actor talks” (like you see at a Creation show, for example.) This con is more oriented to Science Fiction in its purest and oldest form: books. The people who come to LosCon (even the *shudder* furries) are there to celebrate people like Niven, Pournelle, Heinlein, Ellison, and Herbert. The con features several panels, most of which are incredibly informative and worthwhile. I was on three of them.
Let’s break it down into Friday and Saturday, mmmkay?
Friday:
First Panel – eBooks.
This panel was quite fun. I was about to be elected “moderator,” until I told them all that if I was moderating, we were just going to play cards. It was an informative and entertaining 75 minutes, where we talked about eBooks and Print on Demand as publishing alternatives for hopeful writers. I talked a lot about MonolithPress, and shared my reasons for not choosing eBooks or POD. I was surprised at the turnout, too. There were about 11 people in the very small room, which was set up for about 20.
Event – Reading from Dancing Barefoot and Just A Geek.
This was the single greatest dissapointment of the entire show, and probably one of the greatest dissappointments of the entire year for me, because only 15 people turned out to hear me . . . and 7 of them were my family. I felt rejected, humiliated, and embarrassed.
I asked Anne to bring the kids out to watch me, and it was just awful to stand in a room built for over 100, and face them with no crowd.
“Where is everybody?” Nolan asked.
Out of the mouths of babes.
“Somewhere else,” I said.
“Why?” he said.
“I don’t know, kiddo,” I said, with a brave smile.
“Break a leg,” he said, as I walked up to the stage.
I struggled to put aside my personal feelings of rejection and give a good reading for the people who did show up, but my first three selections just sucked. All I wanted to do was cry. I was so let down, it was a real challenge to keep my focus. I just felt stupid standing on a huge stage, in a cavernous room, listening to my voice echo off the walls.
By the end, though, I read the WFS story, and I felt good about it.
When I finished, I bid my family farewell (hard though it was to face them) and headed to my next panel, which was about Linux. I wandered all over the convention center, until I betrayed all men in the world and asked for directions to the room. Turns out the room was in another building.
Panel 2 – Something about Linux
I was 10 minutes late when I walked into a room that was packed with about 75 people. It was hot, and smelled like a room packed with about 75 people. Many of them were shouting at each other.
I’m going to write a whole article about what a fiasco this panel was, so I’ll just give this summary: it was a live version of a totally unmoderated UseNet flamewar, complete with trolls. My hope was that the non-Linux users (about 20% of the audience) would leave excited and curious about Linux. I told them in my introductory remarks that they’d want to race home and grab Knoppix right away. Instead, they (and I) left that room just wanting to get the hell out of there, and away from the zealots. If it had been my first exposure to the Linux Community, I would never have left Microsoft. It was the most frustrating panel I’ve ever been on in my life.
Evening Event: Hour 25 Talk Show
By 9pm, I was exhausted, but I was excited to be a guest on the Hour 25 talk show. I did Hour 25 way back in the late 80s when it was on KPFK and hosted by Joe Stracyzinski.
The same ballroom that was empty for my reading earlier in the day was packed to the walls. There was an excitement in the air, and it really felt like we were about to participate in something special.
Armin Shimmerman was interviewed before me, and held the stage in the palm of his hand. He was funny, insightful, and informative. His /. karma would have been excellent!
When Armin was done, it was my turn. I walked up on the stage, and stood behind the mic.
“Well, Wil,” the host began, “looking at you right now, I just have to ask . . .”
He paused and looked at me.
“Have you saved any ships this week?”
Oh. This is just fucking perfect. was my first thought.
I’m so glad things have changed since I was last here, on the “Solving the Wesley Problem” panel 15 years ago. was my second.
Dude, you don’t need this shit. Just walk away. was the third.
I hope the anger in my veins didn’t make it into my voice. I don’t think the host intended to embarrass me or make fun of me, but that’s how I felt.
I tried to laugh it off, but I spent the next ten minutes trying not to be defensive. You can listen here for yourself and make up your own minds. I come on around the 19 minute mark, I think.
When I finally got home, it was after midnight, and it took me until well after two to fall asleep.
Saturday
Saturday was much, much better than Friday. I got there at 10 for an autograph session, and over the next couple of hours, I completely sold out the remaining copies of Dancing Barefoot. I did set aside a couple, and I’ll eBay them next week, for anyone who wants to get one for Xmas.)
Panel 1 – Breaking Into Print
My only panel of the day was a total blast. I thought I would talk about how a hopeful author can self-publish their book, but I was with three insanely talented and experienced authors, so I just ended up asking them all sorts of questions about how I can be a better fiction writer. I learned so much, I don’t even know where to begin. When I get some time, I will take my notes and turn them into a column here. I’ll do my best to share what I learned with WWdN readers.
When that panel ended, so did the Con for me. I made it home in record time, and went out to dinner with my wife.
If you’re a fan of SF and Fantasy, and not a collector, I highly recommend LosCon. The people who organize it want you to have a good time, meet people of a like mind, and have fun for a weekend. The panels are simply amazing, and the guests are all fans too, so they hang out in the lobbies and hallways, so it’s really easy to get some one on one time with an author you have admired for years.
For example, it would have been very easy for me to stop Larry Niven and drive him crazy with Ringworld and N*Space questions, if I hadn’t chickened out.
I will certainly go back again, but instead of attending as That Guy From Star Trek, I think I’ll attend next year as just a geek.
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You handled your interview well. One could hardly detect the angst.
I was another of the audience members for your reading, which I quite enjoyed. (Second row, green yarn, next to the woman who offered you a pen.) I was also running the infomation desk for this con, and I’ve run registration for Conjecture (early October in San Diego, online at conjecture.org) for the past two years.
On Friday afternoon, even on a holiday weekend, people are still arriving and getting settled in to the con. On non-holiday weekends, many people don’t show up until after work. Fewer people are working the day after Thanksgiving (though some are), but many have family obligations and simply don’t arrive at the con or look at the program grid until later.
Also, you aren’t (yet) widely known to fandom as an author and generally funny guy. This is certainly changing — every person who sees you on a panel, at a reading, doing an interview, enjoying room parties, hanging out in the con suite, or otherwise participating in the con will go and tell their friends what a cool guy you are. Word will spread.
As others have said, it’s not just you. Readings are almost always hit and miss. Those of us who attended enjoyed it.
As for the Open Source panel, which I also attended (front row, as I was sitting with a hearing impaired friend), yeah, parts of the audience were way out of line. Unfortunately, that’s a very difficult situation; sometimes one of the panelists can get things back under control, but only if they are able to exert some form of authority over the troublemakers. I’m not sure anyone could have salvaged that panel, honestly. (David Brin might’ve been able to out-talk them, had he been there, but even that, I’m not sure of, and if you’ve been around David much, you know that’s saying a lot!)
I wonder if part of the problem might’ve been conflicts of expectations. The panel title (The Future of Open Source Programming) and subtitle (Getting started with Linux) didn’t really go together. Open Source is far more than just Linux, and a discussion of the future of the movement could’ve been fascinating. If a significant portion of the audience expected “The Future of Open Source Programming” (I did), they may have been disgruntled by “Getting started with Linux”. It’s not the panelists’ fault, nor is it the audience’s fault; programming should have published a clearer/more complete description or used a better title.
I hope you had enough fun Saturday to make up for your disappointing Friday, and I hope to see you at more area conventions in the future!
Wil, have you ever been interested in attending Dragoncon in Atlanta? This past August was my first time there and it was an awesome array of costumes, actors, authors, artists, etc. And the one major thing I was quite surprised about, was that everyone I met there, attendees and guests alike, were all as nice as they could be. I’d never expect a crowd of 20000 people all to be enjoyable around 🙂
Obligatory Edited Simpsons Quote:
“So, Wil, how did that Friday make you feel?”
“It made me angry, Jerry. Angry, and tired.”
Just imagine, if (that’s if) you ever do a reading again and nobody turns up, just remember we’re there in spirit. All sitting there, in our underwear. Clapping politely, and yelling, “w00t!”. I’d have been there. I feel guilty I haven’t already got a job to pay for a plane ticket to come support you, or something.
I feel so distanced from geeks- I’m in England, in a girls school, where there are no geeks apart from lil’ old me. I start talking to my friends about how I never have any money to buy megatokyo stuff from ThinkGeek, and they look at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
Anyways, good luck with the rewrite! h4v 4 l33t d3c3mb3r! ^_^
I think you handled the situation very well on the interview. The interviewer did something similar to Armin. *bad interviewer*
Hang in there! Your journey might be bumpy, but you have always made it through because you did not given up. We’ll always be here for you.
Idiot troll.
165.21.154.16
Wil,
I think the main problem is that if I lived near CA I would be in the audience of anything with you talking. Even about Linux. 🙂
But living in the hell hole that is Utah, I am kind of stuck with no where to go.
Any plans of coming close to Utah anytime soon to speak about anything?? 🙂
Jennifer Howry
What a TROLL… But the sad truth is that he was probably asking a lot of the dumbass kind of questions ‘people in the dark’ still haven’t had answered yet. Very trying on the soul but Wil – Such grace, bravo!
I also wanted to say that your voice is fantastic! (<–slight tangent, hey, I’m only female ANYWAYS) And having been through a horrible child custody battle with the King of All Insensitve Money Grubing Deadbeat Dads, Anne has truly found a miracle in you. Double bravo.
You are *very* multi-talented Wil, and don’t let any trolls stand in your way. Obey!
~Vicky
You pwned the interviewer man, no anger, you just totally pwned the guy. Your intelligence and wit totally shined right through.
I agree with the person who said it was just a small reading group, that almost anyway here would have cut off their right arm to be in on.
Wil,
I am sorry you were disappointed by the appearances. If I weren’t on the wrong freaking coast, I would have shown up, I swear! It’s the driving across 8 states that slows me down each time! Come out to Florida, though, and the Guinness is on me!
That was a cool interview.
I could sense some tensness in your voice, but it seemed like you were relaxed.
The interviewer had a rather annoying voice though.
You played against the host well, Wil. Screw him and his bad vibes.
Rock on
Wil,
I attended the LosCon30 and was fortunate to get to meet you and your step son. I missed the reading, but did see you on the panel “How to break into pint”. Your wit and enthusiaism is charming and refreshing; the panel was informative and thought provoking. Thank you for your contibution.
Please continue with your writing and acting. You have not finished with your acting career, please don’t be discouraged. I wish you well. We will be looking for you.
My first Neil Gaiman reading was at some book store on Ventura Blvd where only about 15 people showed up. The LAST time I went to a Neil Gaiman reading, was at Book Soup in LA somewhere and me and my sis were lucky enough to be the last people who got packed into a tiny room to hear him. It was so suffocating that we left early and we were completely pissed and unsatisfied. So trust me when I say everyone who showed to your reading was enthralled because it was so intimate. There’s nothing better.
Wil,
Good interview.
FG
Oh that was great! Minute 19 indeed haha!
Actually a great job during the first 18:16 as well too, enjoyed many of your comments and your stance at the beginning about “Oh, so we’re going there?” was really perfect.
I’ll get my screenplay picked and I’ll make sure I get a part in from you ’cause “Man, I remember you from Star-Trek and I LOOOved Stand-By-Me Dude!”
Hi Wil, havent posted before. Just a 50 year old woman walkin a shamanic path with a few thoughts.
Are you familiar with the hero’s journey? this is who you are and what you do. You teach others how to discern from the image others put on us to the true essence of who and what we are – even on the bad hair days.
Johnathan Brandis, River Phoenix are only the visibile ones of the thousands of kids who cannot survive the rites of passages our society puts them through, You stand at the other end of the tunnel holding a lantern for the struggling others, including the ones your beloved placed in your care.
Please understand that the images you have portrayed are as much a gift to this planet jope and triamph over adversity as the :reality of your daily life. Robert Heinlein, through his stories and characters, taught me how to live, to fight for what I value… not the politicians, newsmakers, or any of the people I interacted with every day growing up. I had to become 35 and go through a lot of personal ceremonies to come to see their hero’s stories, through the grime and warts I saw and experienced with and through them.
Wesley portrayed the epic journey of the one who never quite fit inm who stands in the cold outside watching those gathered around the fire inside. For those who react with derision to Wesley, the truth hurts and those inside never understand the tears of those outside.
Johnthan and Lucas Wolenczak could have done the same thing, but he chose to numb the pain and drown in itm rahter then embrace and walk through it to the lights waiting on the other side.
You couldnt see us when you were on tech tv, smiling, laughing and sharing the apparent joy and pleasure you displayed when co- hosting that show – does that count less then the Con you were just at? or the hundreds of times we see you on ST Generation, smiling with our own memories your actions evoke, pulling for and cheering every time you overcome adversity, in a way we need to learn to do for ourselves?
Do you shoot yourself in the foot by not mentioning in your journal your appearance agenda – ( I never seem to see much on the convention agenda so I just get it from the blog) but over here in Phoenix is a bit of commute and since 9-1-1I prefer to stay with my family anyway… but I HAVE been waiting for DAYS for more news on the next Tech TV escapade to be sure to record the event.
(BTW I DID write the Tech TV programming and screen savers to share my delight at seeing and experiencing you as a co-host.!)
Anyway, I intend from this point to ignore yuou when you trash or regret Wesley Crusher. His gift to me was to remind and show me how hard teens DO try to be part of their adult group – mand many enriching experiences for my Niece and nephew occurred because of what that Image maker taught me.
Just remember Wil, prosperity comes in many forms, beyond what is seen (at the Con for instance) and abundance is what is unseen as well. Those of us who will never meet, talk or even sit in front of you, we count for something as well, only you can set the value.
Party on – Hercules!
From my heart to yours!
About Writing Fiction:
Pick up “The Art of Fiction” by John Gardner. He was a mediocre writer, but a brilliant writing teacher. He taught Raymond Carver (brilliant writer, should pick him up some time, too.) The book is an interesting read with some guidelines that are essential to writing fiction. I like it because some of the stuff makes PERFECT SENSE… I had just never thought of it on my own.
If you had time (Family + Full-time work + webmaster usually = not a minute to spare on anything but the essentials) AND you lived anywhere NEAR the Long Beach area, I’d recommend a little fiction writing class at LB city college. The instructor is excellent, insightful and knowledgeable.
Good luck with writing fiction. It’s certainly not easy.
M-
Listened to the interview and from that and what I’ve read on WWdN, a concept popped into my head. Very likely it’s not original at all, but here it is:
Write 1 episode of ST:TNG for Wesley that should have been written.
You’re a writer now, and you’ve complained that the writers of TNG always preferred writing for “the robot” and missed a lot of potential good stuff by not writing for Wesley. What would have been a good episode for Wesley?
I know it may be a drag to drag this out again, but perhaps it would be cathartic for you? (And we all know how much FUN catharsis is!)
“I don’t know, kiddo,” I said, with a brave smile.
I think that has to be the most heartbreaking thing. Good luck next time, Wil. It happens to the best of us. 🙂
Nice interview, Wil.
First of all, that guy was a dick. Second of all, the father of your stepkids also sounds like a dick. Thank God there are men out there, (never mind if they are actors, writers or speakers or whatever) that are man enough to love their wife and kids as much as you do. You have a great talent that many would give their right arm for, and if your career came as easily as the other dicks that end up outside the Viper room (nice touch by he way)then you would probably have missed out on all the ‘real’ things in life. Keep at it Wil, your time has not yet come. One day, I am convinced, you will be holding an Oscar of your own. People like you, dont go un-noticed forever.
Go on my son!
Love from London.
Interesting that anything that’s critical about you is labelled a troll. My previous post made legitimate points in a blunt but not particularly harsh manner. I even concluded it with supportive comment “You can do it,” was it, I believe. Unfortunately, you only seem to want sychophantic comments. To Hell with that and to Hell with you.
I’ve been reading this site for a couple of years. I’ve reccommended it to others. I had compeletely revised my opinion and thought you were pretty cool. I thought you had come to terms with your past and who you are but apparently not. Face the ugly truth, buddy. The only reason anybody outside your friends and family give a shit about what you have to say is because you were that kid on Star Trek. Everything you write about draws on that, either directly or indirectly. That’s not wrong, because that’s who you are. Your child actor experience made you who you are. Your struggles to continue to grow beyond that are still part of that.
You finally experienced a little of what most writers go through, with a lousy turnout at your reading and you’re practically blubbering. It looks like you haven’t matured much, you’re still a prima donna and you can’t accept anything except adulation. You can delete my posts, Will. You can kill the messenger, but you can’t kill the message. You’ve still got some growing up to do.
You’re free of my now, I won’t waste my time visiting this site every day anymore.
I’m with a lot of people on the announcer having a high creep factor. I only listened to yours and Armin’s interviews, but his questions made me cringe.
“So, tell me and all the millions of fans gaping at your agony, how did it feel to be anally raped by rabid donkeys with oozing sores in front of your children?”
Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it kind of sums up the feeling of his candor.
So, in that light, good job in containing the anger, having been put in such a spot.
I think you handled it marvelously. You didn’t come off as angry or bitter or anything but bemused… “oh, so we’re going to go there…”. Relax and trust yourself. I’m sorry you had a bad day, but you came off great, as always.
Scott
Wil, congratulations on taking a poor situation and making something awesome out of it. I totally would have come and seen you if I weren’t on the other side of the country. I hear this interview and despite the hostility of your interviewer, you did a very good job of communicating some important issues. I want to thank you for stating what a lot of people wouldn’t be able to say: that being a child actor isn’t desirably. One of my friends from school is a former child-actress and recognizing that this would not be her adult career was so difficult for her–I don’t envy that position.
And, if it makes you feel better, I’ve played concerts where only 15 people showed up. It sucks, but hey, 15 people is better than no people, and I’ve also played concerts where there were well over a hundred people there. It’ll get better…just give it time.
I’m sorry to hear you didn’t enjoy Loscon as much as I did.
You should have cornered Larry Niven. He would have been flattered.
I’m sorry to hear that you were so uncomfortable during your reading and interview. You’re right that Warren James wasn’t trying to discomfit you. It’s difficult to know what kinds of things will make someone uncomfortable.
I thought the Linux panel was quite successful, though it could have been moderated better. Yes, I remember now that you were trying to moderate. I learned to moderate from watching it being done, mostly badly.
It would be great if you could attend more fan-run sf cons just as a fan. You might want to stick around for a few of the parties at night, too.
I hope your experiance with the Hour 25 interview doesn’t sour your feelings towards Hour 25. I’m a long time listener, 25 years, and a fan of the show. Normally his interviews are more indepth. Because you were at a convention, they were probably limited on time. Hopefully, you can do a more indepth interview someday. I’m sure they would love to hear about your writing and your computer skills, after all, the host is a sci fi fan and works for NASA.
Wil
I am another one of the people who worked at LOSCON (I held up the “5 minutes” panel-ending sign that you acknowledged with a thumbs up, hey you may not remember that but it was strangely cool), and I also work at another local convention known as Gallifrey One. (WWW.GALLIFREYONE.COM, hint hint) In my few years of doing this I too have seen the crowd sizes waver from small to huge. Once word spreads about what a cool guest you are, those rooms will fill up more. I know I overheard several conversations the rest of the weekend from people expressing regret at having missed out on seeing you. Don’t let the “disappointing” turnout keep you away from future participation in such events. Your demeanor as one of us/them/those people/geeks/freaks/nerds was quite refreshing to see, and quite welcome. Did you REALLY come back in costume? Hardcore, man!!!
DANG! No Guinness!
Wil,
Glad you had fun at LosCon, except for Hour 25, which should have been more fun for you. My wife worked the convention this year and had I not been sick as a dog, I would have attended at least one day and I certainly would have attended the Linux panel, having been wanting to meet you for some time to “geek out.”
I have done Mac panels at the con in years past, and just to let you know, no flame wars erupted, because people only interested in the Mac showed up. Most LASFS members and members of the convention are PC users, and LASFS (the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society, the oldest SF club in the US) itself seems to run on technology that is two to four years behind, because that is all the club can afford.
I also agree that the subject of the panel was kind of vague. Getting started with Linux and an intro to open source programming are two different things. Oh, well. You live and learn.
Anyway, your blog is great and so are you. Hope you are there next year as I will probably be going.
Steve
The interviewer was a moron. I would have liked to see him talk much more about your writing than trying to bate you into talking about your acting. You got way more laughs than he did and the Few Good Men reference was lost on him. Excellent job. Keep up the good work.
Howdy,
A pal was raving about your website (no, Menolly, it wasn’t you ;-), so I decided to check it out. I was annoyed about the JavaScript link for making comments, so I wrote my usual e-mail about the Eeevils of JavaScript (http://rule6.info/javascript.html ). I was surprised to get a prompt response telling me that the static comments page has a form for submitting comments.
Anyway, to repeat the rest of what I said in my e-mail, I enjoyed seeing you at the Linux panel. I especially appreciated hearing about the perspective of a Windows user moving to Linux. I’m the hearing-impaired person Menolly was referring to; I left early because going to panels is fatiguing, so I guess I missed the worst parts of the panel.
(I probably won’t be back much, though, because I hate blogs; I’m widely known as Mr. Anti-LiveJournal. I much prefer Usenet because it’s better for discussion.)
Wil, I’m sorry that I didn’t make it to your reading. I wanted to, but I was helping to man a fan table and everyone else from the group either needed to be given a break, or was on a panel themselves.
I hope you do come to Loscon next year as another fan, rather than as a guest. Warren James is someone I know socially, and…I’ll pass on this feedback on to him, because I think he’d want to know. I haven’t spoken to him about this yet, because this is the first chance I’ve had to read your blog in a while.
People might want to consider the fact that Warren isn’t a fulltime radio interviewer. I’m listening to the beginning, and yeah, Warren’s not in his best stride their. Interviewers have bad days, too. It only gets worse when the interviewer is actually a rocket scientist and a teacher, and he’s been working crazy hours. I suspect that Warren was really, really tired.
Give Warren a (small) break, folks, this is a production by fans and scientists trying to get non-mainstream content out.
And if you listen, the interview got better as it went on. Wil *did* get to talk about his writing and the things that are important to him *now*. It’s a decent length interview, so it’s not like the Wesley stuff was the entirety. For people who haven’t been following WWdN, it’s a reasonable sort of thing to wonder about Wil’s relationship with having been Wesley Crusher.
That’s Warren’s real laugh, guys. It’s just the way he sounds when he’s enjoying himself. Sorry it doesn’t meet with your approval.
p.s. if people were interested in Warren James’ bio: click here
(drat, I’m sorry, please delete the previous, I didn’t realize that html would get stripped out.)
The correct URL for Warren James’ bio is:
http://www.hour25online.com/Hour25_Welcome.html#who-we-are
Hi! I finally found some time to stop by here and read your blog and had such a blast. I will definitely be checking back.
I was one of the costumed dorks at Loscon. =) To be more specific, I was with the Teen Titans group and I wanted to say thanks for letting us snag you to take a picture with our group! Our Aqualad was very happy. =)
Thanks again!