Okay, I promise this is not just an excuse for me to use another obscure 80s lyric as a title.
I’ve been working on the Just A Geek rewrite for the past few hours, and I thought it may be interesting to WWdN readers to see some of the progress I’ve made.
I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’m doing major rewrites, and it’s taking a lot longer than I expected. I mean, I thought I’d have galleys out to reviewers by now, and I’m on page 101 instead. I think it’s okay, though, because I get happier and happier with each rewrite, and that pleases my inner perfectionist.
I’m taking my time, because I don’t know when I’ll have this luxury again (that was some great advice someone else gave me — I can’t recall who, though.)
The biggest note I got from one of my friends (who is an award-winning author, so he knows what he’s talking about) on my first draft was, “Expand the story! There’s all this interesting stuff in here, and you totally gloss over it. If this is a confessional autobiography, be confessional!! Put us there. Let us feel what you felt!”
When I read Amarillo Slim’s autobiography a few months ago, I grokked what he (my friend) was talking about. There’s this legendary story of Slim playing dominoes with Willie Nelson, and kicking Willie Nelson’s ass for something like a hundred thousand dollars. (It may be more than that, but my book is in the other room, and that sounds like walking which sounds like work.) The point is, Slim spent pages and pages building up to the game, and then spent less than a paragraph on the actual event! I felt so let down, I almost threw the book across the room. It was only my lazy aversion to walking that stopped me.
As I’ve worked on this rewrite, I’ve heeded my friend’s advice, and dug deeper than I did in the draft he read. I think I’ve developed quite a bit as a writer since that draft, too, and I am grateful for the chance to call “do over” on most of that stuff. If only I could do that with some of my really poor movie choices . . .
So here is an example of some of the changes I’ve made. The original is first, and the rewrite follows.
When I worked on Star Trek, I always struggled to fit in with the adults around me. It was tough, because I could relate to them professionally, but on a personal level, no matter how hard I tried, I was still a kid and they were still adults. In November of 2001, I got to share the stage with Jonathan, Brent and Patrick, the so-called Big Three of Star Trek:The Next Generation. Though I had been performing in a very well-reviewed sketch comedy show for almost a year, and shared the stage with huge movie stars every week on the J. Keith vanStraaten Show, I felt incredibly nervous and uncertain as the da. I worried that with The Big Three present nobody would want to talk with The Kid.
Boy was I wrong.
I took more questions than the rest of the guys combined — and most of them were about my website!
I felt sort of bad that I was getting so much attention, but I was also pleased. I felt like I’d finally grown up, and the reaction of the guys when we were backstage validated that.
That was the introduction to this weblog entry. In the rewrite, I’ve folded the entry into the body of the narrative, and added some new stuff:
When I worked on Star Trek, I always struggled to fit in with the adults around me. It was easy to relate to them professionally, but on a personal level, no matter how hard I tried, I was still a kid and they were still adults. I often thought that Wesley Crusher could have been a much richer and more interesting character if the writers had taken advantage of that very real turmoil that existed within me, and used it to add some humanity to Wesley in between the Nanite making and polarity reversing . . . but I guess it was more fun (and easier) to write for the robot. I can’t say that I blame them.
For whatever reason, I was never been able to entirely lose that teenage angst, and whenever I attended a Star Trek event, or saw one of the cast members, I immediately felt like I was 16 again. Because of that feeling — and, if I was willing to be truly, fearlessly honest with myself, the fact that I hadn’t done very much with my career since leaving the show — I avoided Star Trek events (and that inevitable feeling of shame and angst that accompanied them) for years. Of course there were exceptions, but they were few and far between.
In November of 2001, I was presented with an opportunity to share the stage with the Big Three of The Next Generation: Brent Spiner, Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes, at an event called The Galaxy Ball. Robert Beltran, an actor who played Chakotay on Voyager, hosts it each year to benefit the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, Doctors Without Borders, the Pediatric AIDS Foundation, and some other worthwhile charities. When I received the invitation, that familiar angst and apprehension sprung up immediately.
“What will I talk about? What have I done? How can I face them?” The doubts were relentless.
“Easy, I answered, “You’ve got your website. You’ve got the shows you do at ACME. You’ve got a wife and stepkids. You’re not a kid anymore. You kicked ass in Vegas, and you can kick ass again. Besides, when will you have a chance to be on stage with these guys again?”
“You’re right,” I told myself, “but if you keep talking to yourself like this, they’re going to throw you out of Starbucks.”
I looked up, and offered a smile to the girl scouts who were staring at me. I bought several hundred dollars worth of Thin Mints to solidify my reputation as an eccentric millionaire playboy who hangs out at Starbucks in his Bermuda shorts.
When the day came to go to the ball, I dressed in my finest gown, and bid my wicked stepsisters goodbye as I got into my carri —
Wait. Sorry. That’s not my story. That’s Todd Bridges’ story. I often get us confused.
On the morning of the ball, I had a major fashion crisis that reflected the nervousness and turmoil I felt. I was going to wear a suit, but I felt like I was playing dress up. I put on an ironic hipster T-shirt and black jeans, but then I felt like a child. I settled on this cool black cowboy shirt with eagles on the front and jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror that hangs on the back of my bedroom door, and thought I looked kind of cool. I ignored the explosion of discarded clothes that littered the rest of my room, and left the drawers open when I left.
The whole drive to the ball, I went over material in my head. I prepared jokes and did improv warm up exercises. By the time I got there, I felt like I’d been on stage for three hours.
I parked my car in the self-park garage. I convinced myself that it was stupid to cough up seven bucks for a valet to drive it forty feet, but the truth was all the other guys have luxury cars, and my VW seemed a little . . . unimpressive.
I made my way to the green room, and discovered Jonathan Frakes, who had arrived ahead of me.
“Hi, Johnny,” I said. I felt my face get warm.
I huge smile spread across his face as he stood up.
“W!” he said, “You look great, man!”
He closed the distance between us in two strides, and wrapped his arms around me in a big bearhug.
“You too,” I said, and waked over to a table where some food was set out. As I munched on a carrot, he said, “How have you been?”
It was the question that I always dreaded. I would always smile bravely, ignore the knot in my chest, and say something like,”Oh, you know . . . Things are slow, but I have an audition next week.”
I just finished this bit of the rewrite in the last hour, so I haven’t gone over it yet with my critical eye, so I’m sure I’ll make some more rewrites to this before it’s finally sent off to the printer.
There’s more, (like what happened when Patrick and Brent arrived, and what happened while we were on stage, but I don’t want to give it all away. 🙂
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Geeks rule, Wil. Get over it.
Don’t worry about jobs you look back on as bad choices, etc., it was work.
Okay, yes, absolutely, this is what self-reflection in print is supposed to look like. The rewrite breathes, it moves, it walks and talks and makes me laugh and shuffle my feet in the throes of long-ago teen angst and I can feel the warmth of Jon’s grin and hear Brent’s laughter and my ribs are sore from Patrick’s bald Britisher bear hug and blast your damned dirty hide WHEN DO WE GET THE REST?????
Not that I’m eager to read it or anything…
And good news about ACME, too–what a multitalented a**-kicker you are, Wil.
Best to you, Anne, the kids and the menagerie.
Syd
p.s. Eat your hearts out, everyone–I got one of the first copies of “Dancing Barefoot” at Creation’s 2003 Grand Slam con, autographed by the author mere moments after he returned from the printer’s with a mere 25 copies…and I got the EarnestBorg9 shirt after his troupe’s performance at the same con. ***evil but delighted grin***
Dark Entries huh? Yeah I had to look it up.
Definitely a better rewrite. By the middle of the original i was slightly bored with it, but the second you started talking about how you felt about being Wesley Crusher it really grabbed my attention. Good job.
Two thumbs up.
Okay flog me, i didn’t reread before sending.
in the REWRITE, the moment you started talking about being wesley crusher it really grabbed my attention.
See. Rewrites are always needed 🙂
What a difference. Second verse BETTER than the first.
I’m anxiously awaiting a chance to pick up ‘barefoot’ myself…employment is a magical thing.
That rewrite was great, Wil! More like the stories you write about Anne and the boys or your family. Heartfelt. The inner you, not reporter Wil.
Is Jonathan calling you the letter “W” as a nickname? Didn’t you write once about how you love it when he calls you that? Maybe you can comment on the nickname.
I’m surprised no one has said anything about the Bermuda shorts. I immediately got a picture in my head of Wil in one of The Shirts(tm) and Bermuda shorts juggling boxes of Thin Mints as a group of Girl Scouts giggle.
Wil,
AUTHOR… AUTHOR…!
When is the HARDBACK due for release?!
It looks great, and the detail is not overbareing or draging. It’s really “get in your head” stuff. I love it. I Can’t wait to get the finished product.
You go, Wil! Shake up the picture, the lizard mixture!
Can’t wait for JAG, but in the meantime, can you PLEASE do another printing of “Dancing Barefoot” for us broke graduate students [or insert your favorite profession here] who can’t afford the $317.50 copy on eBay.
P.S. — Lay off “Safety Dance”, will ya!
P.P.S. — Hi Keith Coogan! I knew you from Samohi.
I can’t wait to read the whole thing, just make sure you send some over the water to the UK/Ireland…
A fantastic rewrite Wil. I loved the embellishment of the mini Starbucks scene. It is that brand of wry humour that makes your writing so compelling. Keep it up!
You’ve probably spotted this typo already but to satify my own millionaire inner perfectionist. “For whatever reason, I was (have) never been able to entirely lose…”
Gah! Your book is sold out? Reprint SOON! Please?
I love the rewrite of the current work. The ballgown bit was great. I can’t wait to see the full book. I can’t wait to see the first one as well. My mother actually ordered the first one for me in September for my birthday but it never came. We ended up having to cancel the order because it stopped the shipment.
We’ll have to order sooner next time.
Sixty Feet of Pure Terror…
hahaha
movie taglines are great.
Great rewrite. I’ve been looking forward to reading JAG for quite a while now (ever since I read Dancing Barefoot). If this is a sample of the fleshing-out you are doing, I’m content to wait for the finished polished product.
ugh! talk about a tease…can’t wait to read the whole shebang though. Should be interesting! thanks for sharing the re-write. (liked the re-write much better too btw)
I really like the rewrite! Spellchecker will knock out a few of the errors mentioned above, etc.
I finished your Dancing Barefoot, in a single evening, good stuff, but WAY too short! I am looking forward to JAG.
As for how I got here and why, I came in via PVPonline, and stayed because of the blog. I was never a diehard Trek fan, but actually have been thinking about watching it again after reading this site, oddly enough!
Keep up the good work, it was nice to see evidence you are really working and not just sitting around the house eating bon bons! 🙂
Sam
Hurry up and finish the book!
More details are definitely good. The rewrite gives us a better view of how you were feeling, what happened, etc. More human… Give yourself the chance Wesley never had.
hey Wil,
I think I wanna follow in many other footsteps from previous comments…..keep printing Dancing Barefoot!!! I can’t get it while I’m in China because I can’t afford to use my credit card while I work in this country!!! I wanna get that book and then someday, I wanna read the rest of Just a Geek too!!!
I was totally drawn into the rewrite. the first draft wasn’t that bad but it definitely needed a l’il more life. I can’t wait to read the rest of the story/book. You’ve definitely got that special *it* for writing! that’s why you’ve got such a loyal following! Keep it up!
finish it so i can buy it….
Shit me! I go away for a day or two, I come back and wil’s written a fuckin novel on his site! Fun read though, keep up the good work dood!
The re-write was much better – more details especially the starbucks bit and the getting dressed to go to the ball – loved that.
When I read the one without the rewrite I thought I’d never buy a book like that.
But once I read that rewrite I’m anxious for the book, that looks like a very interesting read!
Take your time Wil and don’t rush it, you’ve got a sale from me when it gets released.
-,-
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Like I said, it hasn’t gone through any of the normal filters yet, including the spelling and grammar one 🙂
Someone mentioned a problem with the “W” vs. “Double-you” bit . . . which is something I’ve struggled with. I’ve tried it both ways, and “W” seems to work te best for me. Thanks for mentioning it, though.
The last bit there needs to be drawn out, and the transition from warm hug to awkward conversation (awkward from my perspective) can be drawn out and smoothed out. I’ll work on that today.
I really appreciate all the kind words, encouragement, and genuine feedback. Thank you.
This section raises an interesting question for me.
Wil: Have you received any feedback on Dancing Barefoot from you fellow STNG cast members? Kinda the whole “quest-for-validation-from-the-people-you-looked-up-to” theme.
Yep… it’s everything you said and I’m even more looking forward to reading Just A Geek now!
I really like the extra details about the scene even if they seem unnecessary. It just paints a much richer picture in my mind. Let me feel more that I’m there in the background watching all this happen.
Dammit, I need to read your book
heres something sad…..the wesley crusher of the sea has died.
JONATHAN BRANDIS Died Nov. 12, 2003
The Cleveland Plain Dealer has reported that actor Jonathan Brandis died of undisclosed causes at age 27. He was found at home by friends. Results of an autopsy are pending. Mr. Brandis delivered a standout performance in the Stephen King mini-series “It.” Brandis played
Very, very nice re-write, Wil. The first draft was good, don’t get me wrong, but the next brought us right along to The Galaxy Ball with you. Can’t wait to read the rest:D
That’s a lot cooler than any of my experiences, except the time I had to rope off my crotch to make a harness in Gym class. Well-written. My only complaints would have been spelling and it’s not even through the SpellCheck yet.
…”Pythons” couldn’t have been too bad if Dalton Ross from Entertainment Weekly liked your hair in it.
Okay, I’m Addicted. 🙂
You have a way with words.
I’m devestated about Jon’s death, he was everything I was looking for in a bloke.
Great re-write!
Believe me, I know how hard it is to do re-write after re-write…writing projects. Anyways, I look forward to reading more..sad thing is, I have not found a place around my small town to buy Dancing Barefoot.*sighs*
Anyways again, thanks for letting us get a sneek peek of what JAG is going to be about.
Thanks again Mr. HMIC!
~Goldenpanther587~
Good job man! Yeah, don’t stray from the formula that worked so well in DB.
Just be natural and include the facts up front and digress later… you haven’t hit the midlife crisis of writing yet… this is supposed to be fun for you still!
i love the point of view you are coming from. the underdog of the strange and interesting world behind the scenes of star trek. and one day you will rule them all!
great work
Great work bro.
Makes me look forward to the book even more.
I just watched Python the other day. It was, most definately, not a great movie. What kept me from stopping halfway through was the fact that you looked so cool with the purple hair. I was all, “Put Wil back on, I want to see the hair again!”
Heh, Amarillo Slim’s got some property right down the road from us….it was funny to see him mentioned here!
I’m loving the rewrites. Keep up the great work, Wil!
Oh god, thats great! Finish the book fast so we can read the rest.
no
Wait.
/Don’t/ finish it fast so that there’s more like that.
Uh
No – faster – um – slower – ah – here now – ack – better
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
[sfx – wet splat as head explodes]
second paragraph:
“I was never been able to”
during exchange with jon frakes:
“waked over to a table where some food was set out”
I’m sure you and your editor would catch these things, but as I assume you used a cut/paste to save time, thought I’d point it out.
anxious to read the rest…
on dancing barefott:
I missed the first edition, and haven’t the cheese to play with the power bettors on e-bay. hurry and make us starving children more, please.
uh, funny how I misspelled “barefoot” in my post to point our grammar flaws. yes! take MY advice!