Set Phasers to “Kill.”

Some mothefucker calling himself “Bruce Cook” thinks that it’s okay to misrepresent me and my wife:

I had opportunity to go to a Star Trek Convention recently and Wil Wheaton was there. He has always been one of my favorite actors and I so looked forward to meeting him. Anyway, I did not know he sold his autograph. I bought a picture for $5 and,when it came time for me to meet him, he told me he needed $10 for the autograph. I was brought ,by my brother,in a wheelchair and it was explained we did not have $10. But,instead of showing compassion, his wife,who was there,said, “then wheel your crippled ass out of the way,we’re here to make money,not give out charity!” I looked at Wil and he said “You heard her,now fork over the 10 or get the hell out of here!”

It’s bad enough that this bastard made up some stupid lie about me. That I can ignore. But he crossed a line when he lied about my wife, who is the most loving, compassionate, caring and thoughtuful woman on this planet.
Bruce Cook, if you’re reading this, you have one chance to set the record straight. Nobody tells lies about my wife and gets away with it, you son of a bitch.
UPDATE 11:46 PM PST: Now that I’ve managed to calm down, and my rage has cooled to just 500 degrees, rather than 500,000, I’ve removed this pigfucker’s Yahoo profile info. As furious as I am, I think it would be pretty uncool to flood this idiot with e-mails and junk. For all I know, this could be some troll looking for lots of attention, in which case I’ve played right into his / her / its hands.
The thing is, when I perceive a threat against people I love, I tend to blast off and nuke the site for orbit. I just want this guy / gal / robot to set the record straight, then we can all get back to hanging out at the stick, looking at a thing in a bag.

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138 thoughts on “Set Phasers to “Kill.””

  1. ok thats too fucking far. anyone who reads this would know otherwise. dont let it bring you down uncle willie. oh, and for the star trek nerd in me, hunt the motherfucker down and set phasers to own.

  2. Holy shit, that’s so unkosher. Anyone who reads your blog knows you aren’t that sort of person, and I doubt you’d marry someone like that, either.
    That’s so uncool. *shakes head*

  4. Man is it okay if an admitted son of a bitch tells lies about YOU, though?
    Because I’d just like to say that Wil Wheaton slept with me, and then called me a whore, even though he didn’t pay me.
    Also I was in a weelchair.

  6. You know Wil, it is not cool. The one thing that I have continued to learn this past difficult year is that people can be cruel and ignorant. I had a similar thing happen when someone that I thought was close to me talked shit on my husband, who has enough to deal with right now. I confronted it, moved on, and have pretty much forgotten it. You know how wonderful your wife is, and through you, we have also learned.

  7. Hax made me laugh, which is cool, because I was about ready to get myself a crowbar and a blowtorch and get medieval on this fucker’s ass.
    Thanks 🙂

  8. Also I’d just like to point out without motherfuckers, there would be no babies, OR mothers for that matter. What you should call him is an oldguyfucker or a pigfucker or something, because that is just gross.

  9. That’s not cool. Simple as that. People do mean things to each other all the time, but they usually have a reason. You did nothing to this guy, and him going after your wife is just wrong. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, however, since this guy won’t be able to post any more messages when his Yahoo account is overloaded by your fans. WWdN is the center of the Internet, remember?

  12. He obviously has a screw loose. It’s not even a good lie, because it’s so unconvincing in the dialogue, so you can add stupid to that. He needs to find a good psychiatrist.

  13. I say use Klingon tribble torture — you put a tribble and some grain somewhere uncomfortable (like the back of a Volkswagen) and just wait.
    Either that or invite him to a pie-eating contest.

  16. Take consolation in the knowledge that not a single individual who reads that, whether your biggest fan or having never heard of you, will think that statement has any credence. “Then wheel your crippled ass out of the way, we’re here to make money, not give out charity!” That’s rich.

  18. damn!!! that bush-luvin’ pooh-pooh head!!! let’s all go kick his butt….wait a damn minute!! WIL!!! you charged me 15 dollars for my autograph!! DAMN!!!!!!

  19. You know, I heard a similar story to that involving another celebrity. Makes me wonder if that one was a lie, too. People will say anything about celebrities to bring them down. They’re just insecure and jealous. We all know that’s not true about you or your wife, and your family and friends all know it, too. Aren’t those the people that matter? (Us being on the bottom of that list, I know). So, hugs. Hugs are good. Hate mail is good, too.

  22. Actually Wil, the proper method of getting Medieval on someone’s ass is with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch, not a crowbar, though a crowbar will do in a pinch.

  23. People suck.
    And unfortunately, people will not hesitate to make up lies and stuff about others who are in the public eye…
    Damned shame, that…
    I’ve been reading your journal for well over a year now. But all it takes is reading one entry for anyone to know that you and your wife are not like that.
    That being said, can I have your autograph?
    Just kidding. 😉

  25. Yeah that was a HORRIBLE lie. I can’t even imagine George Bush saying “wheel your crippled ass out of the way” (well..maybe I can), not to mention your wife Wil.
    Where did you find out about this fuckhead anyway?

  26. Screw the phasers – a photon torpedo is clearly indicated. Or one of those Varon-T disruptors, that causes you horrible pain before it vaporizes you.
    <Cartman>I am seriously pissed off right here!</Cartman>
    That low-life piece of human filth has no right to put those kind of words in your mouth, Wil, let alone your wife’s. Not even if the motherfarker IS in a wheelchair. If he shows up anywhere near here, I’d give him even MORE reason to be in a wheelchair. (Hey…how about I find a nice big staircase and re-enact a certain famous scene from “The Battleship Potemkin” with him in the starring role? Only he wouldn’t come out as unscathed as the baby in the carriage did…)
    You know, since we’ve got his E-mail address, I think I shoud subscribe Mr. Cook to some nice gay porn mailing lists, too…:-)

  27. See this is why America needs better defamation laws. I would SO love to see bastards like that tracked down and sued for slander.

  28. Wow, what a wild counterpoint to yesterday’s terrific “warm and fuzzy” posting, Wil!
    I can totally sympathize with your outrage. The jerk probably wanted the autograph/pic for free and decided to defame you & Anne when he couldn’t have what he wanted. While you have a “right” to be angry, doing so gives the guy exactly what he wants.
    The following was found as a thread from Bruce Cook’s ridiculous post on Yahoo. Even his own friends can tell he’s exaggerating (at a minimum).
    “I can’t help but think the writer of this post used a bit of embellishment in describing what took place with Wheaton. […]”
    — from a FIRST-TIME poster, LONG-TIME reader,
    and 30-something “Stand By Me” fanatic

  30. “Wow, what a wild counterpoint to yesterday’s terrific “warm and fuzzy” posting, Wil!”
    True: With Wil’s wild personality swings, if that pigfucker had just waited a minute, he could have got that autograph for free!

  31. That’s horrible, Wil, we know A)you or your wife would never do anything like that.
    B)Yahoo has the worst censor/webmaster credentials this side of the infamous VH1 discussion boards and
    C) Forget about it, Wil-the weasel has had his pitiful 15 seconds and can now crawl back in his hole.
    jtbwriter

  32. My 2 cents?
    Leave it alone.
    These things have a way of blowing up in your face.
    You may be angry now, but it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things.
    This probably isn’t the first, and definitely won’t be the last time this sort of crap happens.
    The way I see it, whether there’s a germ of truth in it, or not, the potential negative publicity from the inevitable onslaught of hatemail / spam this guy is going to get won’t do you any favors whatsoever.

  34. Wil,
    HOW CAN ANYONE THINK THAT WIL WHEATON
    the mother Teresa of the internet
    OR HIS HOT BABE OF A WIFE…
    EVER TREAT ANYONE LIKE WHAT WAS WRITEN
    BY THAT BRUCE PERSON…
    PLEASE TRY AND FORGIVE HIM WIL…
    Bruce most likely has a
    small “unit” making up for it by being such
    a large one….
    he will get his Wil… he’ll get his….
    Hang in thar Wil and Anne!

  35. I have met many a sci-fi actor, and you are far from the worst of the lot (One Voyager actress who I won’t bother naming). I can’t imagine this happening. Jea glossies are expensive, and if you didn’t know that what rock have you been under? Cretin is charging $6 now I think, haven’t looked recently. Heck $10 is the average for a photo autograph, both Cretin and smaller cons. Occasionally some people will give you extras if they’re in the mood too. I got an extra from Marina for my friend who was working at the time, and I didn’t even ask. Yet I’ve seen her a few times where it was obvious she didn’t want to be there. You’re only human, people have bad days, and some people are really dense when it comes to that.
    You are the nicest infamous dork I never met. Maybe the only infamous dork I’ve never met. LOL (I work in dork central)
    That’s a good thing btw
    Tzunny

  36. Ok, that’s asshattery taken to a new level. I don’t understand where the whole idea of talking bad about someone to raise yourself up comes from.
    I guess I’m an optimist.

  37. Hey, you know what? I think Wil is probably still willing to give this guy a free autographed photo.
    …provided, of course, that it is delivered “in recto”. Hee hee. (I don’t actually know if that’s the proper terminology)

  38. Dude, you’ve been trolled with a megaton flamebait warhead, plain and simple. The guy is a tool for talking smack, but you’re playing into s/h/it’s hands by getting all riled up.
    Take the high road, or Saddam will have won. 😛

  39. My husband is the same way Wil, people can talk crap about him and he lets it roll of his shoulders but if anyone talks about me or his family he goes bulistic. Hang in there the guy is slime and you already know that.
    By the way, I read a few of the posts after his and it deosn’t seem like anyone really believed his sorry arse.
    Those that matter know the truth!

  40. Don’t get mad. Just go all Wesley on his ass. Reverse his polairty, modify a photon torpedo to home in on asshat radiation, and fire anywhere but at Wil. And whatever violent course of action Mr. Worf would like to take, just pull a Picard and say “Make it so.”
    Something tells me this guy needs to try Crack Light (TM), because the regular Crack isn’t really doing him any good.

  41. Wil…
    regarding your update… let’s hope “Bruce”
    does just as you request..
    other than that… all I can think of is..
    the scene in “Stand By Me”
    where “Chopper” when he hears
    “Sick Balls” and some little kid tears off
    afraid for his…
    gee… what ever happened to that little kid?

  42. I know all these people have just said the same thing, but this is crap Wil!
    I met you once and you are seriously one of the nicest, sweetest guys ever! I don’t know what this guy’s problem is but it must be pretty good. I hope you find out what it’s all aboot and this guy stops being a dick!
    How DID you find out about this sicko?

  43. Damn right you should get medieval on his ass!
    Might i suggest some maypole dancing, a proper demonstration of the 3 field crop rotation system and maybe, if your not too tired by that point, the invention of the horse collar!
    That’ll learn him!
    *Starts passing out flaming torches and pitchforks for the vengeful mob*
    No one mucks with our Uncle Wil (and especially no one mucks with our Auntie Anne!) Ok that sounds kinda odd…..*go’s off mumbling to himself*

  44. I don’t know which touches me more, the fact that you didn’t really get angry until your wife was wronged, or the glorious enthusiasm with which your readers flew to your defence. Either way, both of these bits of information are telling the same story, and that story is this:
    Wil, you are one hell of a guy. *hug*

  45. Oh, that sucks. I’m so sorry that had to happen to you- what a vile person this Bruce Cook must be. Take heart, a lot of us out here know that’s the farthest thing from the truth there could ever be.
    -tesse

  46. Wil, that’s unfortunate, I hope you forget it soon.
    This Comment is dedicated fondly to Wil’s amazing wife, because stupid sh-t gets said all the time about every actor, but bringing in someone from the outside is just cheap and irresponsible.

  47. As uncool as what he did was, as aggravating and offensive as it is, you really should not put it on your site. Don’t get me wrong. It’s your site. You have every right to make this guy a star if you want. But is it smart? Everyone who reads your blog knows you (and every other star on any Trek show) sells their autograph. And I’d assume everyone on this site also, if they had read his post, would have discounted it. We’ve been reading you for a few years. We’ve even heard from your wife on rare occasion. I can’t imagine any of us believe your wife would say that. (But after your pigfucker comment, I’m having a doubt about you! 😛 ) You have nothing to prove to us. And HE knows it’s not true. Chalk it up to bad publicity and move on. He ain’t worth your spit.

  48. Next thing we hear, Ann will be forcing starving orphans to produce Wil Wheaton signature Chucks, clubbing baby seals, making fur coats out of puppies, and voting for Bush. When will her rein of terror end?
    Seriously, dude go get her to give you a hug. You need one. Put down the keyboard and step away from the Internet.

  49. Quoting “Eric” at 12:19am — “Something tells me this guy needs to try Crack Light (TM), because the regular Crack isn’t really doing him any good.” — I’m ROTFL!
    Wil – has a POSSE
    Bruce – is a PUSSY
    Gawd, I can’t remember the last time I used that term against a male; I must be getting “Not Young” (as Nolan might say).

  50. This may be out of place, Wil; but i’ll be damned if I didn’t want to go tackle my boyfriend out of pure lust because of how passionately you wrote about your wife.
    Love like that is NOT common. So few really capture that essence so purely.
    She’s one lucky wheelchair-abusing, money grubbing, trekkie’s wife. *grins*

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