More from the rewrite, with some overlap from yesterday:
A huge smile spread across his face as he stood up.
“W!” he said, “You look great, man!”
I love it when he calls me “W” (pronounced “double-you”) — my whole life I wanted a nickname, and it?s the closest I?ve ever come.
He closed the distance between us in two strides, and wrapped his arms around me in a big, fatherly bearhug.
“You too,” I said.
“Have you eaten?” he said.
“Some coffee and toast this morning,” I said. I didn’t mention anything about my nervous stomach, and the barely-touched omelette I left on the table.
“Help yourself,” he said, and pointed to a table where some food was set out. “They always give us too much food, you know?”
I haven’t spent nearly enough time in green rooms to know how much food was normal, but I took his word for it.
I opened a ginger ale and picked up some veggies with a trembling hand. As I munched on a carrot, he said, “How have you been?”
It was the question that I always dreaded. I would always smile bravely, ignore the knot in my chest, and say something like,”Oh, you know . . . Things are slow, but I have an audition next week.”
I spoke before that familiar knot could tighten.
“Not too bad. I haven’t worked in ages, but I’m doing a really good sketch comedy show at ACME in Hollywood.” I took a long drink.
“And I made myself a website where I write a lot of stuff. It’s pretty fun.”
“Have you been doing any cons?” He asked.
“A few,” I said. “I did one in Vegas last month.”
“Slanted Fedora?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“How did it go?”
“I took my sketch group out there and we did a show. It was really fun.”
“Oh! I heard about that. I hear you’re really funny.”
“Yeah, I try to entertain the kids.” I said. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Here was the one thing that I’d been doing, and doing well, yet I felt uncomfortable, almost embarrassed. I noticed that I’d been shoving carrots into my mouth. I changed the subject.
“Have you been watching TNG on TNN?”
“Yeah,” he said, “it’s amazing how those old shows hold up.”
“Except Angel One,” I said.
“And Code of Honor,” he said.
“No vaccine!” we said in unison, imitating one of the actors in that show. It was a long-running inside joke, and we both laughed.
“It’s so weird for me to watch them,” I said, “because I was so young. It’s like my high school yearbook has come to life.”
“That’s because you’ve actually grown up since then,” he said, “the rest of us have just gotten fatter.”
“Don’t let Marina hear you say that,” I said.
He thought for a moment, and added, “Okay, all of us except Marina.”
He winked. I smiled.
“Seriously, though,” he said, “we’ve just gotten older. You’re the only one of us who’s actually changed.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, “Did you know that I just turned 30?”
“You’re thirty?!” If he’d been eating, he would have choked on his food. “Do you know how old that makes me?”
“Uh . . . 35?” I said cautiously, with a smile. I heard the elevator bell ring out in the hallway, and a familiar voice echoed down the hall.
“Man, I can’t believe you’re 30,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, “and you’re married.”
“With children,” I said.
“Goddamn! Children? Plural?” he said, “how many do you have?”
Before I could answer, Brent Spiner entered the room like an actor taking the stage.
“Hello, boys!” he said.
“Data!” Jonathan said with a smile, “Do you know how old Wheaton here is?”
Brent didn’t miss a beat.
“Of course, I do. He’s 37!” He said, “But he doesn’t look it.”
I stifled a laugh, but I couldn’t deny the huge smile that spread across my face. I was overjoyed to be there with them.
“Brent!” I said, “How did you know?! I’ve worked so hard to keep it a secret!”
“Wil, you were 22 when we started,” he deadpanned, “Do the math.”
Jonathan pointed at Brent’s enormous goatee.”You know what I just realized, Brent?”
“What’s that, Jonny?”
“For the first time in history, you look more like Robert Goulet than I do!”
“Oh my god,” I said, “you’re right!”
Brent laughed. “It’s for a character I’m playing called ‘The Evil Devlin Bowman’ in Dana Carvey’s new movie Master of Disguise.”
“Are you really evil?” I asked. I always admired Brent’s ability to create and portray diverse characters. I was especially impressed with his comedic ability. I could just imagine him stroking that goatee, and stealing the spotlight from everyone else on the set.
“Oh yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” he said, “but the hours are long. I’m really tired.”
“As long as Late Night With Les?” I asked. I referred to a director we used to work with on TNG who would always turn in good shows, but took forever to shoot them. It was common for us to be at Paramount until midnight when he directed us. It felt good to recall our Star Trek days together, and I didn’t realize it then, but I can see now that I was looking for commonality, familiarity. I wanted to reconnect with a happier time as much as I wanted to reconnect with the two of them.
“Nothing is as late as Late Night With Les,” he said with mock gravity.
We laughed together, and it was like I never left. I felt that knot start to form in my chest. This time, it wasn’t the usual regret or humilation, though. It was sadness. I missed Jonathan. I missed Brent. I missed this.
“Did you get the latest draft of the script?” Jonathan said to Brent.
“Oh my god, they’re talking about Nemesis!” My inner fanboy said.
“Shut up!” I snapped back, “You’re not a fanboy here. You’re a peer. Be cool!”
I took my own advice and stood there, silently, and listened to them talk about the movie. Production hadn’t started yet, but I could tell that they were excited about putting on their uniforms and getting back into character.
While they talked about the sets, the story, and the production schedule, I felt like a grounded kid, sitting at the living room window, watching his friends play kickball in the street.
There’s much more to come. This bit will be rewritten at least one more time before it’s finalized, for sure. I need to search my feelings so I can figure out why I felt so embarrassed when Jonny asked me about my sketch group, and I’d like to explore that knot in my chest. There’s some stuff hidden there, if I can untie it.
I talked with my mom this morning, and she told me that she read my rewrite yesterday and that she liked seeing the evolution from the first draft. She said it was like seeing “The Making of Just A Geek.”
It’s always weird for me to hear from people I know who read my site, especially my mother. It’s always easier when the audience is hidden by the footlights, you know?
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Can’t wait to read the final version. I find the little glimpses of your writing process quite interesting as well. Keep up the great work!
So Garrett Wang wasn’t lying about Code of Honor being the worst TNG episode ever.
I almost had a argument with the guy over it. Instead, I asked him about pie.
I love it, very much looking forward to this book. Seeing how this has developed has been excellent, keep up the great work.
PS Being in Australia I only just ordered Dancing Barefoot yesterday as my personal Christmas present to myself, looking forward to the read.
Yay! You put in the bit about your nickname. You probably were going to anyway (rewrite version 4.0 maybe), but I’m glad I pointed it out in the comments the other day.
I love seeing this gem being polished. It’s a great insight. Thanks for letting us in on the process, Wil.
You broke through, Wil! Its plain enough to see that. Now, do you have the guts to finish what you started? I think so, and I know, its not always easy…
Must….have….more……
*Trembling and shaking hands*
Come on Wil! Stop holding out on us! It can’t do much longer on ‘Cold Geek’
Help me out here….
If the whole book is that good, I’m happy to wait another six months for the rewrite. Sometimes your inner perfectionist is right on the mark, and this was one of those times.
(if it’s any comfort re: those movies, I’ve got some truly horrendous teenager poetry STILL floating around on the ‘net from 1996 and 1997… I’m just lucky enough that no one has a website like IMDB to collect snarky comments about it all…)
Even better rewrite. But, in hindsight, maybe you should drop the few sentences about Brent Spiner’s goatee to spare him the embarrassment of further association with that awful Dana Carvey movie… 🙂
Keep it up though.
mornin’ Wil,
as part of my morning routine of web’n’coffee, i was reading ‘thin paper wings’ and at the last line, when you mention your uncomfortableness (is that a word?) with discussing your website with personal friends/family, i once again noticed a commonality between you and i…..
glad i’m not the only one!…
Thank you Wil, your last few posts are inspiring me to get out of my own miserable PhD thesis re-write hell. You’ve cheered me up no end.
Onward and upward!!
This is an interesting insight to read this passage. I have watched TNG for a long time, like a lot of others, and to visualize a behind the curtain look is very interesting. Like a poster above me…I kinda felt like I was witnessing it. Look forward to the book.
Wil,
It’s really coming along.
Your writing’s very fluid, very true, and very easy to get into.
But, at the same time, very elegant and light as you describe feelings, sensations, and the world and people around you.
I am just SO ashamed I never brought Dancing Barefoot before it sold out.
Looks like I may be reading Just A Geek before I read the first one!
Keep it up, Uncle Willy,
SQ.
Outstanding. Truly outstanding writing. I think I’ll have to start saving up for JAG, um, now. 🙂
Thanks for sharing with us.
Wil, I’m really enjoying the pieces of rewrites you’ve put up these last few days. I get to the end and want to read more. Looking forward to the last of it. Such a great job.
Is it going to be a cloth book? I used to love cloth books.
Hi, Wil! I only just started reading your site (imagine that, I’m the last person on the planet to find out about ww.net) but I have to tell you, I’m impressed! You can bet I’ll be buying ‘Geek’ when it’s printed.
You’re really onto something here – I’ve been reading the re-writes and the more ‘in the moment’ you make it, the better it gets. We all wish we were you, man, hanging out with the people we idolize! By letting us share the emotion you feel, you’re enabling us to suspend our disbelief and pretend that it’s us hanging out with the cool kids. 😉
Or maybe that’s just me, but either way, jolly good show, man.
What struck me as most interesting about these posts is getting to see how you, as a skilled writer, approach improving your own writing. I aspire to improve my own writing, and it’s fascinating and helpful to see how your prose improves as you revise it, and what sorts of things you change. If you have the chance, and feel like it, sometime I’d love to see even more detail on the rewrites, more versions or something.
It’s also an interesting and engrossing piece of writing, but everyone else already said that.
:insert sound of Jaw Dropping:
wow. just WOW.
I agree with what’s been said… it’s AMAZING how much this story has changed from the first draft to now… you really do feel like you’re there, watching it all happen, like reliving a memory. I haven’t bought DB, but IT MUST BE MINE!!! and JAG is now a MUST-HAVE for me… just incredible…
v. nice, wil… i wholeheartedly agree with Samantha, so… what she said.
Wow… Just… Wow…
Bravo Wil, you really sold the atmosphere of the situation, your writing skills are something else that’s for sure. Can’t wait to read the new book!
Cheers,
Hi Wil!
You ROCK!!!
Keep up the good work…
Please respond to my email regarding WWDTT!
This stuff is gold, Jerry! Gold!
Seriously, Wil, a very good read. I can’t wait for the book to come out so I can rush to Borders and get it. It’s going to be at all the bookstores, right? With your wide fan base and the guaranteed word of mouth, there is no way JAG will NOT be a bestseller.
Keep it up!
What appeared to start out as a possible Internet rumor, after being posted on a sole Cleveland newspaper, but sadly has now been confirmed by the L.A. Coroner’s office, is that on November 12, 2003, 27 year old former SeaQuest DSV actor Jonathan Brandis was found dead in his home. Brandis was found by friends and pronounced dead at a hospital, according to the Los Angeles coroner’s office. There were no signs of violence. Notice of his death was also posted on The Year That Trembled website, his latest film project. The cause of death has not been released but there are several rumors already, as speculation will undoubtedly concentrate on a possible drug overdose or even suicide. For genre fans, Brandis will be remembered for several projects, that included the TV miniseries Stephen King’s IT, and motion pictures The Neverending Story II, and Stepfather 2. Brandis’ death is the second SeaQuest actor to die this year, as his costar, Royce Applegate, died on January 1st in a house fire.
As always, I’m loving the writing!
I thought I would pass along something I read in a book, (can’t remember the name of it right now, sorry.) that talked about how to find out where your ‘knots’ came from.
It suggested that if you are experiencing a physical sensation, (i.e. tight throat, chest, stomach, ect…) that you should mentally ask the sensation, what it is there for, and what purpose is it serving.
Sometimes an answer comes right away, sometimes it takes asking a few times. I know it sounds a little ‘whoowhoo’, but it has helped me in the past.
It is a little like taking a moment when you’re really pissed or upset over something and asking yourself, ‘Why am I really angry?’. A lot of times the true answer is different than what you think it is at the time.
Anyway, whatever else you are doing in the self-reflection area is working! You are one of my favorite writers because you always strive for the truth.
Thank you.
As soon as I posted my response to Will’s ‘knots’, the post about Jonathan came up.
I am so very sorry Will.
My condolences to his friends and to his family. He was a wonderfuly talented actor who was very much appreciated by his fans.
I don’t know what else to say. I’m…
in shock.
Deb
Good stuff, Wil…looking forward to the final product.
Take care,
Secretly, you’ve always wanted to be called, “Willy.”
Wil,
This is good stuff. Really good. Most people sleep-walk through their lives, never really understanding what is happening to them, much less how they feel about it. Few people can actually write, even fewer can write convincingly about their feelings.
YOU ARE DOING IT ALL!
and, wonderfully, too!
Wow–How ironic to stumble upon your blog. I am 30 now, but back in the 80’s I thought you were the cutest guy. Then I had a friend, I think I went to Jewish summer camp with her, you and her were very good friends back then. I used to hope she’d introduce me but you became a big star. Soooo, I think it’s great that you are nerd enough to maintain and keep up to date your website. Your realism and down to earthness (not a word, I know) is refreshing. I am so glad Hollywood did not eat you up and spit you out a bitter overworked actor. Keep it up. 🙂
hey wil, i just thought i would add my condolences (spelling???) to those already here. i am so sorry to hear about Jonathan Brandis…i am a huge fan of his!!! I grew up watching Sea Quest DSV, and to suddenly hear that he was dead was a huge shock to me. i could not believe it. it still hasn’t sunk in…
So, my thoughts go out to his friends and family…RIP Jon…
Love Rach
xxx
PS…Keep up the GREAT work wil!
xxx
Will, you are taking us where we all wanted to be. Those of us that grew up with TNG feel like those guys were family anyway, but they really WERE to you. Keep it coming. It takes real balls to reveal that much of yourself. I respect that!
I think so many people can relate to this because it’s the ultimate twist of the ‘High School Reunion’ gone public. You know… in a yee gaads! millions of people are aware of my teenage years – sort of way. That’s disturbing on a whole different level than most of us can imagine and yet you seem to have ridden out the awkwardness in a positive way. Keep writing. You’re on the right track. You’ve engaged us all on a deeper level – and, is’nt that the point after all? Good luck to you.
Based on this excerpt/rewrite alone, I’m very excited for the release of ‘Just A Geek’. I grew up with TNG and Wesley was a character whom I particularly appreciated, being a kid myself at the time. Seeing all of this from the actor’s point of view is one part of the book I’m particularly thrilled about. You’ve got one buyer right here.
This is why…
some people sing. some people write. some people blog. some crazy people sit on corners and preach their brand of “ufo’s are coming!”.
It’s about untangling the knots. Some people never get the chance, Wil – they sit at their desks, numb to the world and themselves, suffering through the pain of their lives, while others take the advantage to untangle the knots.
I’m going to be going to visit my old hometown – the town of horrors and pain that I’ve suffered through the last 25 years with – and finally confront those knots and start untangling them.
You have your book. I have a trip and a blog. Feel good about it Wil – and follow it. Even if you have to edit stuff out later to make the wordcount, it doesn’t matter because this book is more than just a book, it’s your journey so that you can put things to rest and find balance.
Good luck.
I’m quite looking forward to this book. The detail is awesome.
For a minute there, I thought Brent was making a monty python reference with your age “I’m 37! I’m not old”. But oh, even better, a Beverly Hills 90210 reference!
Hey! WOW!!! Great stuff!!! I will definatly want to read this book. It sounds like it will be wonderful, I’m excited and can’t wait. Keep it up!!!! Thanks.
I related alot to this, not the same situation. But, in feeling. I can’t wait till this is published, It’s very good stuff. 🙂
I was really excited when i heard you were gonna be in Nemesis, and disapointed when they cut you out. Are your scenes in with the deleted ones on the DVD, do you know?
Great writing, Wil. You have a real gift. I look forward to reading more from you and that’s the mark of talent. Hope to see more soon. By the way, my wife and I have just finished a TNG marathon (only “preemptive strike” and “all good things” yet to go) and our official ruling is that Wesley did not, repeat, NOT suck. Most of the time he was written realistically and you did a good job wiht the part. A couple of times you came across like Will Robinson, but rarely so. One question, though–how do people take a pee in the 24th century? I mean, I know how they do, but do they have to pull those uniforms off completely?
And by the way, what was done to your part in “Nemesis” is what really sucked.