thin paper wings

More from the rewrite, with some overlap from yesterday:

A huge smile spread across his face as he stood up.
“W!” he said, “You look great, man!”
I love it when he calls me “W” (pronounced “double-you”) — my whole life I wanted a nickname, and it?s the closest I?ve ever come.
He closed the distance between us in two strides, and wrapped his arms around me in a big, fatherly bearhug.
“You too,” I said.
“Have you eaten?” he said.
“Some coffee and toast this morning,” I said. I didn’t mention anything about my nervous stomach, and the barely-touched omelette I left on the table.
“Help yourself,” he said, and pointed to a table where some food was set out. “They always give us too much food, you know?”
I haven’t spent nearly enough time in green rooms to know how much food was normal, but I took his word for it.
I opened a ginger ale and picked up some veggies with a trembling hand. As I munched on a carrot, he said, “How have you been?”
It was the question that I always dreaded. I would always smile bravely, ignore the knot in my chest, and say something like,”Oh, you know . . . Things are slow, but I have an audition next week.”
I spoke before that familiar knot could tighten.
“Not too bad. I haven’t worked in ages, but I’m doing a really good sketch comedy show at ACME in Hollywood.” I took a long drink.
“And I made myself a website where I write a lot of stuff. It’s pretty fun.”
“Have you been doing any cons?” He asked.
“A few,” I said. “I did one in Vegas last month.”
“Slanted Fedora?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“How did it go?”
“I took my sketch group out there and we did a show. It was really fun.”
“Oh! I heard about that. I hear you’re really funny.”
“Yeah, I try to entertain the kids.” I said. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Here was the one thing that I’d been doing, and doing well, yet I felt uncomfortable, almost embarrassed. I noticed that I’d been shoving carrots into my mouth. I changed the subject.
“Have you been watching TNG on TNN?”
“Yeah,” he said, “it’s amazing how those old shows hold up.”
“Except Angel One,” I said.
“And Code of Honor,” he said.
“No vaccine!” we said in unison, imitating one of the actors in that show. It was a long-running inside joke, and we both laughed.
“It’s so weird for me to watch them,” I said, “because I was so young. It’s like my high school yearbook has come to life.”
“That’s because you’ve actually grown up since then,” he said, “the rest of us have just gotten fatter.”
“Don’t let Marina hear you say that,” I said.
He thought for a moment, and added, “Okay, all of us except Marina.”
He winked. I smiled.
“Seriously, though,” he said, “we’ve just gotten older. You’re the only one of us who’s actually changed.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, “Did you know that I just turned 30?”
“You’re thirty?!” If he’d been eating, he would have choked on his food. “Do you know how old that makes me?”
“Uh . . . 35?” I said cautiously, with a smile. I heard the elevator bell ring out in the hallway, and a familiar voice echoed down the hall.
“Man, I can’t believe you’re 30,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, “and you’re married.”
“With children,” I said.
“Goddamn! Children? Plural?” he said, “how many do you have?”
Before I could answer, Brent Spiner entered the room like an actor taking the stage.
“Hello, boys!” he said.
“Data!” Jonathan said with a smile, “Do you know how old Wheaton here is?”
Brent didn’t miss a beat.
“Of course, I do. He’s 37!” He said, “But he doesn’t look it.”
I stifled a laugh, but I couldn’t deny the huge smile that spread across my face. I was overjoyed to be there with them.
“Brent!” I said, “How did you know?! I’ve worked so hard to keep it a secret!”
“Wil, you were 22 when we started,” he deadpanned, “Do the math.”
Jonathan pointed at Brent’s enormous goatee.”You know what I just realized, Brent?”
“What’s that, Jonny?”
“For the first time in history, you look more like Robert Goulet than I do!”
“Oh my god,” I said, “you’re right!”
Brent laughed. “It’s for a character I’m playing called ‘The Evil Devlin Bowman’ in Dana Carvey’s new movie Master of Disguise.”
“Are you really evil?” I asked. I always admired Brent’s ability to create and portray diverse characters. I was especially impressed with his comedic ability. I could just imagine him stroking that goatee, and stealing the spotlight from everyone else on the set.
“Oh yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” he said, “but the hours are long. I’m really tired.”
“As long as Late Night With Les?” I asked. I referred to a director we used to work with on TNG who would always turn in good shows, but took forever to shoot them. It was common for us to be at Paramount until midnight when he directed us. It felt good to recall our Star Trek days together, and I didn’t realize it then, but I can see now that I was looking for commonality, familiarity. I wanted to reconnect with a happier time as much as I wanted to reconnect with the two of them.
“Nothing is as late as Late Night With Les,” he said with mock gravity.
We laughed together, and it was like I never left. I felt that knot start to form in my chest. This time, it wasn’t the usual regret or humilation, though. It was sadness. I missed Jonathan. I missed Brent. I missed this.
“Did you get the latest draft of the script?” Jonathan said to Brent.
“Oh my god, they’re talking about Nemesis!” My inner fanboy said.
“Shut up!” I snapped back, “You’re not a fanboy here. You’re a peer. Be cool!”
I took my own advice and stood there, silently, and listened to them talk about the movie. Production hadn’t started yet, but I could tell that they were excited about putting on their uniforms and getting back into character.
While they talked about the sets, the story, and the production schedule, I felt like a grounded kid, sitting at the living room window, watching his friends play kickball in the street.

There’s much more to come. This bit will be rewritten at least one more time before it’s finalized, for sure. I need to search my feelings so I can figure out why I felt so embarrassed when Jonny asked me about my sketch group, and I’d like to explore that knot in my chest. There’s some stuff hidden there, if I can untie it.
I talked with my mom this morning, and she told me that she read my rewrite yesterday and that she liked seeing the evolution from the first draft. She said it was like seeing “The Making of Just A Geek.”
It’s always weird for me to hear from people I know who read my site, especially my mother. It’s always easier when the audience is hidden by the footlights, you know?

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89 thoughts on “thin paper wings”

  1. wow, you have really fleshed this out! i feel like im there, witnessing it… like im…the fly on the wall. keep it coming1 this book is going to be so good!
    jeannette

  3. Hey Wil,
    I just love these little tastes of JAG you’re passing along. And being a fan of TNG (every night at 8 when my fiance and I are home), I really like to hear about the people behind the characters. Reading your site gives us all a chance to get to know you, and through you we get to know so many other great people. Thanks for that. Keep up the good work on the rewrite, you’re a fantastic author and it really shines through in these snippets.
    Samantha

  5. The rewrite sounds great. Have you considered trying to get on an episode of Enterprise? With the way that show has been going lately (not great ratings) and you now being arguably the most popular Trek actor (or at least probably the coolest), it would do them some good to have you come aboard as an alien or something. Folks who don’t watch Enterprise regularly but used to watch TNG would probably tune in out of curiosity, and give them a ratings boost. Just a thought.

  7. It’s getting better each time you write it Wil. This version is much better than the first two. And I agree, you need to flesh out those feelings if you really intend to expose your inner self in this book. Keep at it and I am betting that by the time JAG comes out we will all feel like we were sitting in the green room with you. As a Trek fan (not quite a Trekkie but close)it is neat to read about the cast from an insiders point of view, especially one who I personally loved from the moment I saw SBM and had all his posters on my walls. 🙂

  8. Everything’s easier when the people you’re involved with/doing it for are hidden. There’s not as much on the line then so it’s safer.
    I’m impressed. Very impressed. I may have to find myself a copy of Dancing Barefoot and then make my inner (very hidden) geek wait for the release of JAG.

  9. Major Kudos to you for having the guts to untie those nots, i’m still trying to decide if i want to untie the knots for my own novel…digging up old stuff is never fun. Good luck and great job with the rewrites, they’re really developing nicely. 🙂

  10. Keep writing! This is sounding really, really good. You bring the whole thing to life — the people and the feelings and the carrots — something I’ve always felt I’ve never been able to do when writing. This is gonna be a damn good book. Where do I pre-order?!?!?!?1/1

  12. As a fanboi and literary jerk-off, reading the blog of an actor from the number uno show of my childhood has been something great.
    To read THAT was just amazing. This is from Just A Geek? I am buying that book.
    S.

  13. If I might be so presumptuous, Wil, I could speculate why you felt so embarrassed to talk about your sketch group. Natch, I could be totally off the mark, but it sounds (and feels, because I’ve been there too) like you got a sudden case of insecurity. You know in your heart of hearts that what you’re doing with the group is good, but how does that measure up against what Jonathan or Brent’s been doing? These guys are your friends and peers, but at the same moment, they’ve gotten a lot tucked under their belts. You were also in the cast as a kid, making it tougher for you to “measure up” against them. It’s not a fair comparison because they’d been doing this stuff for years, while you were still getting started (“Stand By Me” notwithstanding), but you’re probably still making it … yes?
    I’ve noticed that you’re frequently harder on yourself than you should be. You’re tremendously talented, Wil. Everyone who’s bought and read a copy of your book absolutely loves it. (I don’t, simply because I haven’t gotten my own copy yet. ;)) They’re your friends: they’re not going to judge you in any negative way or think less of you because you’re not doing the same things they are.
    Then again, I could be talking out of my ass. I’ve got a history of that, sadly enough. 🙂

  14. Mmmmm… gimmie more… I need more. 😉
    *smiles* Its great! That’s one heck of a rewrite, and the story is definitely worth the time and effort you are spending on it!

  15. Great stuff. I look forward to the Just A Geek: The Extended-Stuff-I-Left-Out-For-Probably-A-Good-Reason version.
    Seriously, being the TNG fanboy that I am it’s great to read what J. Frakes and Brent Spiner are like without the uniforms.

  16. I’ll take a stab at that second knot.
    You spent a fair ammount of time reconnecting with the “cool people”, and then they went off and had a conversation that excluded you.
    Doh.
    Sounds like you still really look up to these people, and miss the good old days. You were just starting to get a good connection with that part of your life (and with them), when all of a sudden you’re reminded that you are (on some level) still an outsider.
    Now… why don’t you tell me aboot yeor muzzahr?

  18. Wil-
    Your writing is very good, and very real. I’m currently in the process of re-watching all of Season 1 (bought the DVD) — and it’s good to see some of the personality of the actors (you guys) come through in your writing. All the best.
    -Cyrus

  19. That sounds great, Wil! Keep it up… can’t wait to read the finished product! (For that matter, I can’t wait to read my autographed copy of Dancing Barefoot that I ordered some time ago. *ahem*)
    cheerio…
    steph

  22. I love reading these re-writes, Wil – I just want to know more and more – can’t wait for JAG to be in print! As much as I love your web site for all the new stuff you write about, I am a huge TNG fan and just eat those details up. It must have been fun to work with those guys – I can only imagine. Well, actually, now I can read it about it, from you. Keep on writing, geek boy.

  23. Wil- I have been reading these updates. Seeing myself where you were. It is such great writing. Each rewrite is better than the one before. The more you expand the story the more I see it in my mind. You are gonna be great. I know I will have to buy two copies for my house. One for me and my husband.
    PS- Anticipate every day for your posts. It is what gets me through the work day. Always cherring for you.

  26. Man…
    If this is how you are rewriting the whole of JAG, it’s going to be an awesome book…
    it will probably be big… take some time to finish… (btw how will you know when it is finished??? when all the knots are untied??)
    BUT it will be worth it… both for us and for you, I think.
    Thanks Wil for putting me into that room with you and Jonny and Brent, it’s been a real treat.
    Can’t wait ’til Patrick arrives… don’t make him wait too long…

  27. New fan here. 🙂 I’ve been reading your website for about a week now and have to say, it’s fantastic! Especially this piece from the book your working on. I hope you share more from that particular experience. Thanks!!!

  28. Keep it coming!
    It sounds as if JAG is turning out to be very therapeutic for you, and if nothing else, that will be the one great thing you can take from this whole experience.
    It’s sounding better and better everytime and I can’t wait for the whole thing to come out.
    Awesome job!

  29. Quite impressive, Wil. That rewrite smoothly transported me directly into your head. I actually visualized the facial expressions that Brent and Jonathan had as they were speaking to you. I felt the bear hug. The event unfolded in front of my eyes.
    You seem to have a knack for welcoming readers into the gallery of memories contained within your brain. It’s quite entertaining. I lost track of time as I was standing there with you, Jonathan, and Brent. Not often do I feel this sensation of being a part of the story that I’m reading. These paragraphs were so visual, that MY fanboy almost told me that I shouldn’t be standing there with you and the other stars.
    This little tidbit from JAG gave me a backstage pass into your experience, both emotional and visual.
    Thanks
    EB

  30. Oh my goodness, I love what you’re doing with this rewrite. I’ve been getting impatient, because after Dancing Barefoot, I can’t wait for JAG to come out, but I can see now how much improvement you’re putting in. Keep at it. I absolutely love the detail you’re putting in. This book is going to F**KING ROCK!!!
    you ‘da man

  31. man, to have been there in that room for such a conversation…wil, it’s remarkable how well you write…i know its a cliche, but for us, this feels like we’re there with you…
    i am SO looking forward to this book..
    great work wil
    tyson

  32. At some level Wil you are a huge experiment for online therapy. I’m paying someone US$140/hr to explore my issues. You write about them. Your model seems much more efficient.

  33. Wil
    The rewrite is amazing! You really have the ability to make us feel like we are sitting in the corner, watching it all unfold. Thanks for sharing another snippet of JAG…can’t wait to read the whole thing!

  34. Wil, the fleshed-out bits are good. Great, actually. Please, please, PLEASE do NOT rush the book. Take your time. We all want it to be the best it can be.
    PS: You’ve gotta come back to Powell’s for another big ass book reading and signing when JAG comes out!
    PPS: I’ve noticed the fleshed-out bits tend to be funny or have a humourous slant to ’em. This is a good thing. You’re a funny guy – let it show.

  35. Wow! It looks great! I’m already so into it. I was so sad when I got to the “Theres much more to come..” line. I hope I get to read the whole story. It’s so interesting! Keep up the good work!

  36. hey wil, Wow, you continue to astound me!! That is totally amazing. i really enjoyed that section, being such a huge fan of Star Trek, i could visualise the people you were talking about. it was always a dream of mine to meet you, jonathan frakes, and patrick stewart, and this is the nearest thing to it. Thanks for that!
    keep up the great work wil, you really do rock!!
    rach

  37. WOW…okay this 2nd rewrite today is even better. Someone said it before….fleshed out! Much more substance and I love the interaction between the three of you more, the writing flows much better with this one. Great job. I love these little hints of JAG! Can’t wait to read the final someday!…..Shannon

  40. Hey Wil, this is my first comment, so I’ll try to keep it short. Just want to say I love the site and am eager to check it every day when I get to work to see if you’ve posted something new. I’m kicking myself for not getting a copy of Dancing Barefoot before it sold out (poor college student here) because seeing how this part of JAG is getting fleshed out is beautiful and can’t wait to read more of your writing. Keep up the good work!!!

  41. You know, the first one is free.
    After that you gotta PAY!
    Thanks for getting us all hopelessly addicted, Wil. How will I pay my rent now?
    BTW, there were two local-news personalities here in the ‘burgh for a while: Ann DEVLIN and Dennis BOWMAN. Hmmm. Weird.
    — Drake.

  42. I can hardly wait for this book to come out. I loved “Dancing Barefoot”, and I know I’ll love JAG.
    I love the bit about the nickname. Most nicknames are just shorter versions of the full name. Yours actually takes LONGER to pronounce than your real name.
    Sort of like how www is “short” for world-wide-web, but it actually takes longer to say the “short” version than the words it’s an abbreviation of. How appropriate.

  43. Great stuff! I don’t know about expanding the dialogue further. Maybe less is more in this case; maybe not. (Like I said, I don’t know.) And did you and Spiner hug or shake hands? Maybe put that in somewhere (or, again, maybe not).
    Did Frakes actually call Spiner “Data?” Teehee!
    It’s fabulous to stand in your shoes like that. Master narrative, it is, when I feel like I’m there. U pwnzor da wordz!

  45. I’ve never posted a comment here, but I’ve been reading for a while, and I just want to say that I love this entry. It may be because I used to be such a huge TNG fan, but the writing just flows, really. Great job.

  46. You know that oxymoron saying “Take your time, hurry up”? I kinda feel like saying that. Seeing JAG come together is really neat, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. This should be quite the interesting story judging by this little morsel.
    You know, in a way, JAG is like a reverse self-help book. You’re not helping others by writing it, but more like writing it is helping you figure out the puzzle that is your life. Good stuff, Wil, keep it coming.
    Hmmm. Time to call the parents and tell them to get me Dancing Barefoot for Christmas. Gotta hurry before it sells out, else I’ll be stuck waiting for the second printing…

  47. It’s always easier when the audience is hidden by the footlights, you know?
    Oh, yeah. Abso-frickin’-lutely. Footlights are gooooood!

  48. oh, wow…..I’ll stay invisible if you just keep writing, ok? And, lighten up a little on yourself alright? I never saw you as a “kid” on TNG but as an equal player on the big screen and, FYI, I liked your character. I didn’t even know you were getting hate mail….guess I lived under a rock.

  49. Wil,
    Good revisions, to me. The way that you wright, it will be just fine. Great art starts with a cool draft, most of the time.
    FG

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