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it’s two against one, mister plow

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Over the weekend, Ryan and Nolan and I played several hours of Talisman. Friday night, we played for close to four hours. On Saturday, it was almost five before my Warrior of Chaos defeated Ryan’s Thief on the Crown of Command. Last night, in an effort to play the game in a reasonable amount of time, we decided to play the game with just the original rules, and the first two expansions, but while setting up the game, I realized that my Talisman Adventure components seemed to be missing, so I set out on a quest to find it.
My quest took me into one of my closets, where I thought the box may be hiding behind some blankets. While I was deep in the closet (har. har. har.), I failed my search attempt, and a roll of eight forgotten Teen Idol™posters fell off a shelf and hit me on the head. I took 1d4 damage from this clever trap.
I never found the Talisman Adventure box, and we ended up playing “Classic Talisman,” with just the original rules, characters, items, and stuff. As punishment for our insolent attempt to complete a game in less time than it takes to fly coast-to-coast, the gods prevented us from completing our game. It’s still set up on our dining room table, to be completed later today, after homework and chores are finished.
This morning, while I quaffed coffee and waited for OpenOffice.org to load so I can work on Just A Geek rewrites, I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s a sign, those posters falling on my head . . . maybe I should . . . auction one of those Teen Idol™ things, and purchase a replacement Talisman Adventure Set!”
I smacked my right fist into my open left hand, Burt Ward style.
“Oh, good idea,” my Mr. T. Bobble-head said, “I pity the fool who doesn’t auction off one of those posters!”
“Don’t look at me,” said Mr. Plow, “I only talk when I’m in the right World of Springfield Interactive Environment, which is sold separately.”
“Well then, I guess it’s two against one, Mr. Plow,” I said, and hit submit.

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26 January, 2004 Wil

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come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach → ← ants marching

71 thoughts on “it’s two against one, mister plow”

  1. Nick says:
    27 January, 2004 at 8:15 am

    But what does the Penguin that lives in your Linux Box say?

  2. Jacob says:
    27 January, 2004 at 9:44 am

    Ahhh, Talisman – I’m extremely fond of that game. I find some balance to Timescape with the City expansion, but that’s just me.
    And, I will take the Prophetess (I hope I am remembering characters correctly) as first choice anytime, though the Warrior of Chaos is seriously strong. (Some year I should look into saving up some money to purchase a set)
    I hope your nearby cleric cast a Cure Light Wounds on you and dealt with the 1d4 of damage.

  3. CmdrSue says:
    27 January, 2004 at 10:58 am

    Wow, I just checked the prices over on Ebay and Talisman IS expensive now. Since I’m in a two geek household I know that we have at least two copies of the basic game and probably two of each expansion. (Yes, we are damaged people.) I guess I should consider parting with one of the sets. (Now the fight will begin on whose copy gets sold, just in case we ever get divorced…)

  4. CmdrSue says:
    27 January, 2004 at 11:03 am

    Oh, and does anyone else have the pewter miniatures that came out? I know I have the Prophetess (me!!) and the dwarf. I must be getting old because when we haul out the expansions I feel like we’re playing the “new” stuff. 🙂
    Online Talisman is an awesome idea, btw.

  5. GangstaBitch says:
    27 January, 2004 at 11:39 am

    You look so pissed off in that poster. I think I’d buy it if I was a child molester. Anyway screw the poster, I’m more interested in the Simpsons Stephen Hawking action figure someone mentioned earlier. Btw, excellent post, but it’s important that you entertain me EVERY day. Not just when it suits you…jerk!

  6. T-byrd says:
    27 January, 2004 at 12:36 pm

    I couldn’t help but notice the very green grass that you didn’t crop from the original photo. Very nice job on the lawn for January. Two green thumbs up!

  7. Susan says:
    27 January, 2004 at 1:11 pm

    I remember going to my very first GenCon and having the guys in the Talisman booth GIVE me and my (guy) friend a copy of the game if we would just promise to go to the free gaming area to play it. Now, WAY back then (1985 or so), I was a cute college student so that probably helped get attention for the game there (cute females being a rarity at those conventions). But we did go play it in the free game area and I still have that game somewhere.
    Maybe one of my regular saturday night DnD sessions with my now-equally-old-but-still-geeky husband and friends could play it. It’ll be several years before the kids are ready to play.
    BTW, I’m very happy that at least one former child actor managed to survive with a sense of humor. You’re doing good and I enjoy the blog.

  8. Richard says:
    27 January, 2004 at 1:38 pm

    4 hours for Talisman? The shortest we ever managed was 7 with adn the longest we stopped after 13 because it was getting ridiculous.
    Just waiting for the kids to get old enough to play too.

  9. Mr. Dark says:
    27 January, 2004 at 3:16 pm

    Wil: Wow, okay, I was just being a smartass but now I just feel like an ass, minus the ‘smart’ part. 🙂 If they gave out megacool EBayer merit badges, you’d be an eagle scout.

  10. Tim says:
    27 January, 2004 at 6:28 pm

    You know something Wil? You are an awesome Dad!

  11. Calvin Hobbes says:
    27 January, 2004 at 8:58 pm

    What a coincidence. A buddy of mine from the old days just moved into the same high-rise as I live in, and we’ve started each weekend (Geek-end?) with a Friday night Talisman game… hadn’t played in a decade.
    I didn’t even know anyone else knew of that game.

  12. steffan says:
    28 January, 2004 at 1:21 am

    1. Shameless plugging of Ebay is commenable behavior.
    2. Warrior Of Chaos is very overated as a player.
    3. Were you really a teen idol, or just a teen idolater? Probably the latter.
    4. There is so much cool online stuff – expansion wise – for Talisman, that the game clearly benefits from using everything you can get your hands on. It’s like playing GTA 3: Vice City without picking up the hidden packages as soon as possible. Boring.
    5. Worf: The boy has stolen a shuttle
    Picard: Lock Phasers.
    Troi: Captain, he’ll be killed, you can’t!
    Picard: Fire!
    Worf: The boy has been destroyed.

  13. CJ says:
    28 January, 2004 at 7:23 am

    I got the exact same bobble-head. He’s standing next to Colonel Saunders (KFC guy).

  14. Joe says:
    28 January, 2004 at 9:24 am

    Good luck on tracking down the Talisman expansions on eBay – they tend to get a bit pricey (especially the Dragons expansion and the 3rd edition stuff).
    For those folks interested in an online version of Talisman, there are some folks working on it – http://www.otalisman.com/
    There are also a number of homebrew expansions available, you just need to download and print them out. Here are a number of the sites that house some of the expansions:
    http://www.randomdice.com/games/talisman/
    http://talisman.clift.org/talismanisland/
    http://www.talismanquest.org/
    http://www.geocities.com/[email protected]/index.htm
    http://www.solicitor.de/gamebox/talisman.htm
    And there is also a relatively active community over at Yahoo – http://groups.yahoo.com/group/talisman_2nd_ed/
    Be warned though, you’ll need a ridiculously large table (or floor) to play with all of the expansions out there

  15. JayBird says:
    28 January, 2004 at 11:04 am

    Hey, Wil,
    It has already been said, but your ebay descriptions are so freaking FUNNY! I was just thinking that if you have time between quaffing, gaming, and doing rewrites for JAG (which we haven’t heard too much about lately, mister!), you could hire yourself out as a description writer for other ebayers. You’d make a fortune (or at least get free stuff that you could keep in your closet AFTER you’ve cleaned it out)! That Teen Idol poster is mine, Mine, MINE!
    JayBird

  16. Elyssa says:
    29 January, 2004 at 12:55 am

    I’m sure that jacket is out in a landfill somewhere, slowly becoming a biohazard and/or self aware. 🙂

  17. Michele says:
    31 January, 2004 at 11:12 am

    Up to $81 for the teen idol poster…not bad. 😉

  18. Berym says:
    1 February, 2004 at 1:58 am

    Luckily a friend of mine has the entire set of all the Talisman boards, so I don’t have to succumb to eBay.
    The Chaos warrior is limited when you read the limits on it and make sure it’s played properly – people have a tendancy to let it use the abilities ALL THE TIME and not just when it is meant to (there is errata out there on the net that explains it in detail).
    I rather like the characters with anti daemon/anti undead abilities. Useful if you get the Daemon King.

  19. Mat Thyer says:
    9 May, 2004 at 1:29 pm

    http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/talisman_2nd_ed/messages
    Ok Wil, my name is Mat from Glastonbury, England. I am the world’s foremost authority on Talisman. I proofed the game for Games Workshop. I have all new enhanced rules for the game. I will send them to you by email if you would do me the honour of proofing them for me before I post them to the world. Your WOC would be no match for me even if I was the Halfling, or Rogue! My skill is legendary, as I was the 1st english champion in the game. The Finger of Death is my middle name! Seriously though, trek is fantastic. However, what’s your opinion of Enterprise (great for me). Look forward to hearing from you. Ps. Heres is a snippet:
    Ninja
    3 strength, 3 craft, start in a Woods space, evil alignment.
    Ability 1: You may never have followers. Even creatures such as the Hag, Jester, and Poltergeist will not become your followers (discard them).
    Ability 2: You cannot use the Crown of Domination, Horse and Cart, Magic Banner, Magic Harness, Mule, Ring of Command, Staff of Mastery, or Wyvern Staff.
    Ability 3: You may choose not to encounter any space that you land on in the outer and middle regions of the board, but you must always draw adventure cards where instructed. Adventure cards take affect as normal, except that you are unaffected by them.
    Ability 4: You may evade all enemies in the outer and middle regions of the board (not the Sentinel, or other creatures).
    Ability 5: You have the power to make a secret strike when you attack another character, or face up enemy that you land on. Combat takes place as normal except that you must subtract your starting craft from your opponent

  20. Eileen says:
    9 May, 2004 at 4:44 pm

    Eh, I know Mat, he’s trying to suck you into our little group. We’re not too scary, really!
    Reading your stuff is always a great pick-me-up. Smiles galore. Keep on bloggin’.

  21. Scotty says:
    15 May, 2004 at 8:50 pm

    Wil, I keep hearing so many incredible things about you, and now find out you play Talisman, too! Do you know about Talisman Island (http://www.talismanisland.com/)? We hold an annual Talisman Advanced tourney every year now, working on various expansions. I created Talisman Rome for the tourney last year. It would be fun to have you at one of our tourneys if you are interested!

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