it’s two against one, mister plow

Over the weekend, Ryan and Nolan and I played several hours of Talisman. Friday night, we played for close to four hours. On Saturday, it was almost five before my Warrior of Chaos defeated Ryan’s Thief on the Crown of Command. Last night, in an effort to play the game in a reasonable amount of time, we decided to play the game with just the original rules, and the first two expansions, but while setting up the game, I realized that my Talisman Adventure components seemed to be missing, so I set out on a quest to find it.
My quest took me into one of my closets, where I thought the box may be hiding behind some blankets. While I was deep in the closet (har. har. har.), I failed my search attempt, and a roll of eight forgotten Teen Idol™posters fell off a shelf and hit me on the head. I took 1d4 damage from this clever trap.
I never found the Talisman Adventure box, and we ended up playing “Classic Talisman,” with just the original rules, characters, items, and stuff. As punishment for our insolent attempt to complete a game in less time than it takes to fly coast-to-coast, the gods prevented us from completing our game. It’s still set up on our dining room table, to be completed later today, after homework and chores are finished.
This morning, while I quaffed coffee and waited for OpenOffice.org to load so I can work on Just A Geek rewrites, I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s a sign, those posters falling on my head . . . maybe I should . . . auction one of those Teen Idol™ things, and purchase a replacement Talisman Adventure Set!”
I smacked my right fist into my open left hand, Burt Ward style.
“Oh, good idea,” my Mr. T. Bobble-head said, “I pity the fool who doesn’t auction off one of those posters!”
“Don’t look at me,” said Mr. Plow, “I only talk when I’m in the right World of Springfield Interactive Environment, which is sold separately.”
“Well then, I guess it’s two against one, Mr. Plow,” I said, and hit submit.

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71 thoughts on “it’s two against one, mister plow”

  1. Talisman is a really cool game! Unfortunately it’s out of print, and when a friend of mine tried to buy some additional modules, she found out how expensive the used ones are. Hope you sell the poster for enough to get what you want!

  6. I just watched Toy Soldiers for the first time ever, thought it was worth mentioning that this movie is underated. Sure that earing may not have been the best idea ever, but I thought the movie was really good overall. Umm that is all.

  8. Oh! Seeing that adorable teen idol poster reminded me of my large, obscenely large, collection of pin-ups that I owned when I was 10 or 12 or some ungodly age like that. Although (hate to admit it) Corey Haim was my favorite teen idol, I’m sure I had several Wil Wheatons, too.

  9. My question would be, what on earth goes thru your mind when you’re taking pictures for posters like that?
    Good luck finding the Talisman sets!

  10. You know, it’s probably a good thing you didn’t buy into all that stuff. If you’d gotten stuck in the I’m Pretty!(tm) ego-set, you probably wouldn’t be as cool as you are today, and we wouldn’t love you as much.
    Besides, everyone knows that geeks are the cutest.

  11. My question would be, what on earth goes thru your mind when you’re taking pictures for posters like that?
    Usually something like, “For fuck’s sake, aren’t we done, yet? I’m not fooling anyone, and I have Metroid to play!”

  14. I was going to comment that 4 hours for a full game of Talisman is pretty darn quick! My ex-girlfriend and I used to play that when we were both under the weather. It brought us really close together. Although…I guess it didn’t bring us THAT close together, since she’s an ex and all.. d’oh!

  17. Mr. Dark: Funny story about that clock. I had one of my own, that I auctioned off a month or so ago. In was cracked in transit, and I wanted to replace it for the buyer . . . so I looked on eBay and was lucky enough to find another one just like it.

  18. That’s awesome! But did you ever think that the posters were trying to hit you on the head to cause amnesia so you’d think you were that age again and start standing in front of your house, in just that pose, to greet Anne when she got home?

  19. Wow. The shirt.. oh my god the shirt. It’s like someone crossed a sports jersy with the “poofy shirt” and come up with an abomination to god and general aesthetics.. in that order.
    I want one so bad.. I’d wear it all the time, just to watch people get angry.

  21. See my “Steve Irwin bobble head” is usually the one to convince me to do something. I find my “Mr. T in my pocket” to stop me from doing anything I want to do!

  24. I was looking at the photo on e-bay linked above, and my 5-year-old son came up behind me. “Hey, I know that guy!” he said. “I saw him on Stair Trek.” I told him you were the actor who played Wesley – we’re still not altogether clear on the concept of acting, but we’re working on it. Then he said “I saw that guy last night in our basement.” I asked him what “that guy” was doing in our basement and he said “taking our stuff.” I asked why Wesley would do something like that, and he said “He was going to throw it on the floor, but I stopped him.”
    So you get to be one of my son’s pretend friends, which is so cool. Some of my best pretend friends were from Trek the first…along with the Catwoman and the Monkees. 🙂

  25. Classic Talisman is the only way to play. We ditched the Dragon and City expansions first, then whatever it was that gave the alternate endings, but we were hanging on to the Dungeon expansion for awhile. We all breathed a little sigh of relief when we finally got back to the basics – three hours instead of six of seven!

  27. oh.
    my.
    god.
    I have that poster.
    It’s in a box in my parent’s garage (because I won’t let them throw away any thing from my youth).

  28. Now Wil, how silly to think that you could actually complete a game of Talisman in under 4 hours at the very least! I remember long marathon sessions of playing that and if you add all the expansions, you might as well forget it! Have a blast with the continuation tonight!

  29. I just had a major flashback to 1989, when I had a poster very similar to this one of you in my locker. You, River Phoenix, and Johnny Depp kept me company between classes. Thanks for the angsty trip down memory lane of my 16 year old, geeky self. By the way, love the hair dude.

  30. “while visions of photoshops danced in their heads”….
    *evil grin*
    I mean.. ah.. good luck with the expansion and all. 😉

  31. Wil, man I knew I liked ya but damn your a Talisman player too! That’s my all time favorite childhood game that I still revisit every now and again with my brother and friends of like mind.
    Your giving those kids some awesome memories to look back on, trust me.
    My father past some years ago and a good round of Talisman brings him closer to me than anything is this world.
    Game-on Wil.

  32. Your hands are WAY too deep into your pockets for my liking. Perhaps as a result of this. On the other hand, there are ZERO photos of you with a Fram Air Filter on your face.

  33. My thoughts went something like this:
    1. Get a haircut, young man, then that floppy hair won’t keep going in your eyes.
    2. Maybe then you won’t look like you’re about to burst into tears.
    3. Does the photographer think 12-year-old girls will find it sexy if you look as though you’re adjusting your privy parts?
    4. Please tell me, Wil. Did you actually own that shirt or was it specially provided for the occasion?
    [Since you ask: yes I do often talk to photos. They’re the only friends I have. But that’s not important right now.]
    I always look forward to your stuff appearing on eBay because the descriptions crack me up every time. 🙂

  34. cute photo in the poster – still have my idol boy posters. Come to think of it, I should toss ’em, or sell ’em, or something.
    BTW, have you ever come across “Pirates’ Gold” in your travels? Looking for that game everywhere.
    Best, stacy

  35. I don’t think I have ever played a game of Talisman that lasted less than three hours. They had a rule for a shorter game called the Chaos Bloodbath where you only put one talisman card in the deck. These always ended up as our longest games…
    I have Talisman and all the 2nd edition expansions. It is one of two games I don’t think I will ever sell, the other being RoboRally.

  36. …just make sure the posters are signed with something cryptic, laughable, and possibly incriminating. I’m sure you’ll get a lot more for them that way.

  37. hey wil!
    that teen idol? poster is sooo cute! if i had enough money i would so bid on it! sorry dude, but i’m a student, and i need all the money i can get at the min! but wow, you’re cute!
    anyway…talisman ROCKS! played it forever!
    take care
    rach

  38. Wil:
    I can just imagine the captions on this poster-
    I’ll let someone else have the
    fun guessing what I would have put!
    Cept’-Dang you were cute!

  40. Well, “bider” is, of course, total-fscking-moron for “bidder.”
    I speak total-fscking-moron really well before my second quart of coffee kicks in every morning.
    jeebus. If only there was some built-in way to, oh . . SPELL CHECK things.
    *sigh*
    It wouldn’t be a wil wheaton auction without some terrible mangling of the English language or her spelling.

  42. Hey…any of the true Talisman-loving geeks out here ever thought about creating an online version of Talisman? Multiplayer? Just like the rulles…maybe the person who starts the game can choose which expansion sets? Games could be saved and played later?
    Anyone? Anyone?
    I’ll help on the graphics and UI part of it! 🙂

  44. I like how your necklace picks up the colors in the crown on your shirt. I do have to agree with a previous poster that while you look good in the jacket, it makes your torso look oddly out of proportion with your legs. The close up you have on the bottom, with the picture cut off at the waist, is much more appealing. You actually look older in the cropped version.
    How big is this poster? You forgot to mention the dimensions.

  45. With proper planning, starting OpenOffice isn’t that hard. For example, if you’re leaving on vacation, or an extended hospital stay, start the program before going! By the time you return, it might be loaded and ready to go. Another method, I know I have a paper due at the end of tenth week. I make a note that somewhere along about the middle of seventh week I should start Writer, thus leaving plenty of time for the process to complete and for me to type the paper up the weekend before it’s due.
    🙂

  46. Typoes, the great leveller. Ever think of proofing the thing before sending it on? Or have Ryan do it. Kids are great at spotting things we miss.
    On Talisman: God, it’s been so long. I haven’t the foggiest idea of what it’s about. I think both times I played my necromancer got turned into a biomancer. “Your alignment’s been changed” or something like that.
    I doubt the boys ever notice how long a game takes. They’re involved in the moment, and when engrossed in an activity they really don’t realize that time is passing. Plus, they’re with Dad and as long as he’s having fun, then things are good.
    I do have a question BTW. How would posters made from the ‘outtakes’ sell?

  49. Ah, Wil…what a doll you were! I think I had a very similar pic of you on my wall at age 13 – ripped out of “Tiger Beat” no doubt…and likely hanging up next to pics of River Phoenix and Simon LeBon.

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