Abby from OK writes:
Do you ever watch Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton on Bravo? Sure, the quality has gone down during recent months (Jay Leno?? Wha??), but it’s still really interesting to see what Tom Cruise has to say about his ‘craft.’ Anyway, if you watch the show you know that right before the audience gets a chance to talk to the actor, Lipton asks The Questions. I thought it would make a cool blog entry to answer them. They’re not hard questions and they’re actually better if they’re rushed through.
I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to have Mr. Lipton pose those questions to me, so I went ahead and answered them quickly, with no second-guessing. The answers you read here are the first things that came into my mind.
Okay, for this to work, you all pretend that you’re hopeful acting students, and I’ll pretend that I’m a Big Time Actor. Russ will play the part of James Lipton.
Go!
- What is your favorite word?
- What is your least favorite word?
- What turns you on?
- What turns you off?
- What sound or noise do you love?
- What sound or noise do you hate?
- What is your favorite curse word?
- What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
- What profession other than yours would absolutely not like to attempt?
- If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the gates?
Yes.
Edgy.
Enlightenment.
Ignorance.
Splashing of waves on rocks.
Pontification.
MotherFUCKER!
Sculptor.
Doctor.
I’ve been waiting for you.
hey wil! that is pretty funny! ha ha…i watch that show, and love it!
anyway…
take care
rach
Ah yes, this is the kind of acerbic wit that keeps me coming back to this site. You had me laughing out loud, once again.
I have a better question..
What is the best pie?
You are a Big Time Actor! Hollywood just doesn’t know it yet (sometimes it takes them a while to figure it out). Your day is coming.
meat
Sculpting is easy. Sculpting well is hard.
I love that show. Makes me want to write a script or suchlike just so James Lipton might someday interview me.
Uh, is it just me (could be) or is suddenly your entire site italiriffic??
I mean, I’m not raggin’ on the site if it IS supposed to be italiriffic, but DAMN… that’s alot of italics.
OMG! Thanks for answering my email, Wil! You rawk!! Will you be my valentine??? hahaha! Great answers, as expected…thanks so much.
Abby in Oklahoma
heh.. those questions are cool Wil…
interesting to think about too…
i liked your answer to the last one.
Toodlepip!
sara
What sound or noise do you hate?
I would have thought it would have included the words “Wesley”, “saving”, “Enterprise”, “AGAIN!”… or something. ๐
TOO Funny Wil Good Answers to the question.
good stuff. i would like to steal this and add it to my blog, if you don’t mind and give credit, of course.
What is your favorite word?
Joy
What is your least favorite word?
biggot
What turns you on?
soft girls
What turns you off?
fear
What sound or noise do you love?
voices in harmony
What sound or noise do you hate?
ambulance sirens
What is your favorite curse word?
fuck
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
geologist
What profession other than yours would absolutely not like to attempt?
cop
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the gates?
i know you, i love you, welcome. you’re not going to believe who’s here!
I tried playing along too, but most of my answers aren’t worth sharing, don’t reveal anything interesting. Except this: My favorite sound is children laughing. You know how they laugh with their entire bodies. They laugh so hard they can’t stand up. Then they try to compose themselves and put on a straight face, but it cracks into an irrepressable smile and the laughter bubbles out again. Yeah, thats just about the best thing in the entire world.
Hey, we have the same favorite curse word! I think I say it way too often though. Anyway, great answers! I would personally love to see you on the show. Maybe we should start a petition.
i came to visit your site because my friend, abby from ok, told me how cool your site is. so here i am. well that’s it i suppose.
I am SOOOO suprised he didn’t put Helmsman or Ensign of a starship under worst jobber dohick
I recently got satellite and am absolutely hooked on Inside the Actor’s studio. Too funny that Abby voiced my thoughts by emailing you The Questions. Nice timing ๐
I get to be James Lipton?
Sweet!
Next time, though, I want to be someone with better hair.
And sideburns. I can’t grown sideburns.
Just ending the italicized madness.
This is the last song I will ever sing,
No,
I’ve changed my mind again.
Goodnight.
And thank you.
another fine ref. bravo.
My favorite answer to the ‘if heaven Exists..” question was by (IIRC) Hank Azaria. During the Inside the actors studio “Simpsons” Interview.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the gates?
“Wanna go again?”
-J
I’ve been waiting for you.
Sweetest. thing. ever.
If you were a hotdog…would you eat yourself?
“I’ve been waiting for you!”
(Pulls lever, trapdoor opens under feet, shooting flames…)
anyone have to get gate.ok?
Russ as James Lipton?
You know, I can see that…
Good answers, Wil. I agree with many.
I love “In The Actor’s Studio”, but James Lipton just creeps me out. It is fun to learn new things about the guests, and I *always* stick around for the Questions.
One question I’ve always had – when he asks for your favorite/least favorite word, should you answer with your favorite/least favorite word to say, or the one with your favorite/least favorite meaning?
Hey Wil Wheaton,
Oh god, It’s me again. Rachael Caswell.
Yes I am surrounding you, like waves
crashing against the ocean’
That’s a metaphore. (Haha) Don’t you like
it? Like what I say? Like the word LOL.
Computer lingo.
“each bud must blossom and grow” – Didn’t
reply to this one yet. Yes there are so many
Rach’s out there. Oh god, was that a set up
for you know me? just kidding, because your
site is funny, cracks me up”
Okay I give up, I am not as smart as
Einstein… But You have to ask
questions to learn from things anyway.
This paragraph, (Motherfucker, Wil)
Ummm, Who is James Lipton? Maybe you can
(cough, cough)
However, Mmmm Mmmm, You can reply on here.
I really would like know what the fuck you
are talking about in this
paragraph! I didn’t go to college. Not a smart
bunny. Oh god Bunnies.
Oh God, house of a thousand corpses. Yes, Im
off tracks, oh god tracks.
Stand by me. Yes, Im off the wall. What a
funny, funny, entry!
1) What profession other than yours would
absolutely not like to attempt?
Profession not like to attempt:
A doctor, why wouldn’t you like to be a
doctor? You could give “GOOD” papsmeeres.
and have all these women have an orgasm.
As for me, I hate to be a veternarian.
Poor sick animals watching them suffer!
2) If heaven exists, what would you like to
hear god say when you arrive at the
gates?
Oh my! You said “I’ve been waiting for
you” That was a line from that movie.
Oh God, lifetime movies, oh god, life!
Which cast member would appear to you?
Just kidding, intelligent answer!
3) What would god say to me at the gates :
“I know what you did with that reaper!”
In all seriousness, Probably.. “Rachael,
Give me your hand”
This was a good entry! Thanks for making
us laugh. Come on guys, he puts so many
long entries here for us to read. Why not
reply to em’ I have seen such good entries
from women, man, and all ages.
Listen to all the young girls,
How old is Wil Wheaton? Yes he is in his
thirties. Kind of sad for those who are
to young. I am NOT a rapist! But, girls
are so (hehe) adorable to have such a
crush on him. Of course you can still
communicate with him. (hehe, “Commune..
What lies beneath”) If you girls are
sadden about Wil Wheaton, Come on’
I am 25 years old. I know about this
stuff. Shhh, Shhh, I know about all
of those pottie mouths too. Just don’t
let your mom see you put bad things
about stuff on his board. If you need
to talk girls : [email protected]
old email still replies!
Don’t worry about how smart I am. If Wil
falls in love with me. It’s not my fault!
I didn’t put a spell on him. It must be
fate.
Well, I got to go for now. Laundry and
stuff. You adults know about that! ๐
Hopefully I will get a nice reply about
this I am so sad and I’m going to friggen’
start bawing! Have a nice day guys’
Sincerely,
Rachael Caswell
God would say “Hey son! Come here….where is that kid…JESUS! Hey JESUS! Come here…its the kid from Star Trek….the one no one liked. Then he became one of those famous bloggers you keep reading about.”
motherFUCKER is the best curse word! i love the way it feels to say. why have i never thought of this before? wil, you rock. thanks.
I’ve been swearing waaay too fucking, er, *frickin’* much lately so I’ve adopted a new curse word of the moment: Jiminy Cricket! I thought it was pretty dumb and I’d get bugged about it, but apparently it’s cute coming from the Short Chick with Ringlets (TM).
My all-time favourite rude word is one that a drunk guy called me over the holidays: PUSSYCUNT! I know I should have been insulted, but the word just sounds so, well, interesting and I love it!
Okay, these are my comments, um, bye!
Actually, what I pictured god saying is:
Hey, Wil? Yeah, we need your help with something. See, I locked myself out of the Pearly Gates, and I was hoping maybe you could reverse the polarity on them…